tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38232942.post4436589002814245021..comments2024-03-15T01:38:51.061-07:00Comments on MotherhoodLater.com - World’s leading newsletter, website and community for midlife moms: Trying to Teach Compassion -- by Laura HoustonRobin Gorman Newmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06816036736416667540noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38232942.post-37778489762459035062011-06-21T06:38:48.077-07:002011-06-21T06:38:48.077-07:00Oh Laura, Laura, Laura...how I wish I were on the ...Oh Laura, Laura, Laura...how I wish I were on the playground again and throwing sand (when there WAS sand) was the monumental issue. I spent all of last night (trying to) calmly discuss with my son that: A) something he did in school and was HIGHLY inappropriate when he sincerely interpreted it as something innocent; B) Discuss why he wants to die when a consequence was doled out due to his behavior (he has mentioned dying before which REALLY concerned me; and C) walk him through why running away with $22 may not be the best choice at this point in time. Needless to say, this took HOURS but I somehow got through to him that we still love him no matter what, sometimes parents have to give consequences for behavior that isn't appropriate, even if the reasoning is way beyond his comprehension, and that he ultimately needed kisses, hugs, cuddles and warmth from his mother who he hasn't seen in 3 days (he was with his father). The night ended with him hugging my arm as he fell asleep, but I was drained to the core.<br /><br />In terms of role-modeling, my son has been rude to me exactly twice in his almost 8 years of life. I make it known that I demand respect from everyone (with some specific exceptions) and that he should too. An example is that my son said that another child in his after school program "called him a bad word." He wouldn't tell me the word, and I wasn't there, so there was nothing I could do except tell him that when people say nasty things to him, I want him to calmly say back, "I don't like when you say that to me." Well, the next week I went to pick my son up and this kid was passing by us on their way out. I asked my son to hurry up and this kid mimicked me while facing my son. When we got to the parking lot, I calmly asked the mom if I could have a moment with her, so she came over. I told her that not only did her son mimic me, but according to my son, her son called my child, "a bad word." I fairly said, "I did not personally witness what may or may not have happened last week, but I definitely heard your son mimic me and I consider it rude." She completely agreed, had her son apologize to me and my son and was told they were getting along, "very well" since then. I called this kid out on his behavior to demonstrate that I DO demand respect from "everyone." And also how to model dealing with it in a civil, calm way. I think it sunk in.<br /><br />So, don't stress...your proper role modeling WILL pay off. And yes, the bigger they get, the more difficult their problems become...:P...hugs!!Cara Meyershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05929269041124368708noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38232942.post-24457943327817746342011-06-21T03:54:35.086-07:002011-06-21T03:54:35.086-07:00Compassion is one the the most important things to...Compassion is one the the most important things to learn and demonstrate to our children! <br />Being compassionate yourself is the best teacher!<br />I love the golden rule! I will try to remember to use it as well!Karen du Toithttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17962536496240863886noreply@blogger.com