tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38232942.post8356186005369582339..comments2024-03-15T01:38:51.061-07:00Comments on MotherhoodLater.com - World’s leading newsletter, website and community for midlife moms: Adoption by Robin Gorman NewmanRobin Gorman Newmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06816036736416667540noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38232942.post-83904757418610064572011-12-22T00:26:27.487-08:002011-12-22T00:26:27.487-08:00Wonderful publish, Robin the boy wonder. And I thi...Wonderful publish, Robin the boy wonder. And I think you managed everything incredibly well. I've always been completely sincere with Jayda about her root base, too (and, of course, those discussions will get more "grown up" and change as she increases up), and believe it's the best we can do: show/tell our kids how wanted/loved they are...and provide them with whatever details we have to help them comprehend and procedure everything.<br /><br /><a href="http://adoptionagencyreviews.com/" rel="nofollow">Adoption Agency</a>ricohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01486746712862134295noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38232942.post-4235981968531146512011-09-23T10:41:09.619-07:002011-09-23T10:41:09.619-07:00Thanks Alli. I certainly hope that Seth doesn...Thanks Alli. I certainly hope that Seth doesn't have a fear that we might one day give him up. I feel like he's secure in our family...but ya never do know what kids think and don't share. I have to hope for the best and make him feel as loved and wanted as we have always tried to do.<br /><br />Thanks to you too Jamie. I think it's helpful that parents share what they experience, since our kids can catch us offguard sometimes. I tried my best to think quickly on my feet when the conversation was broached, and all we can do it lay the truth out there and create stable, loving homes for our kids.Robin Gorman Newmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06816036736416667540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38232942.post-72034820602297520762011-09-23T08:55:54.185-07:002011-09-23T08:55:54.185-07:00I applaud you Robin for handling a difficult topic...I applaud you Robin for handling a difficult topic with Seth in such a compassionate way. He is 8. He has no way to comprehend you and Marc would walk through fire for him. I'm sure he will some day. He is an incredibly smart and nurturing kid and will mature over time to become an incredibly smart and nurturing man. And I hope he will see that his birth mother wasn't "getting rid of him" but rather, coming to an incredibly difficult decision to entrust him with someone who would be able to raise him in a better environment and give him so much more than she ever could. I am proud to be Seth's "adoptive" aunt- the concept of family is evolving and we have to struggle through it all to "keep up". I'm sending hugs to all of you. You did the right thing to tell Seth from very early on. It's the truth and it IS freeing. What I want to know is how the other kids learned of it? There are always "about my family" projects in school and it may have come up in that. W always want to make the journey easier for our kids. When my daughter Chelsea was 4 1/2 years old and we found out she had a hearing loss and would need to wear hearing aids, I chose neon hot pink for the squishy ear mold that goes in the ear so people would notice. I taught her that if people asked - she should tell them the truth- "some people need glasses to help them see better. I need hearing aids to help me hear better" and the bright hot pink would invariably catch people's eyes and they would ask her if it was jewelry or what was in her ears and she would simply say what I taught her and it would take away any stigma since she was so open and matter of fact about it. Because she gave them something to think about - that hearing aids are as common and necessary as glasses, people could relate to that and many times would begin a conversation with her about her hearing and there would be no tension. I think you need to say (100 times if needed) that if the conversation comes up, or if he's ever asked, or comments are made, you should equate the adoption itself to an act of love.."yes, I'm adopted. My birth mom loved me enough to give me to my adopted parents who CHOSE ME and will love me and take care of me THE REST OF MY LIFE". I think an issue that has to be dealt with is secret fears that kids have - Seth could be feeling - "maybe my adopted parents can get tired of me and give me up, or I can be bad one day and make them sooo angry that they give me up - if my REAL mom did it, anyone else in my life could do it too." Keep me posted Robin. Keep us all posted. I have never adopted a child. I always wanted to adopt 2 kids but my husband didn't want to. There are three relatives in my family who are adopted and we love them just like all the "blood" relatives. I have "adopted" those I love and been "adopted" into other families and am all the richer for it - MORE PEOPLE TO LOVE AND LOVE ME! and you and your family are one of them! hugs, alliPuzzleArtist Alli Bermanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02242128657567755540noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38232942.post-33606218296806040402011-09-23T08:26:23.419-07:002011-09-23T08:26:23.419-07:00Beautiful post, Robin. And I think you handled eve...Beautiful post, Robin. And I think you handled everything extremely well. I've always been totally honest with Jayda about her roots, too (and, of course, those conversations will get more "grown up" and evolve as she grows up), and believe it's the best we can do: show/tell our children how wanted/loved they are...and give them whatever information we have to help them understand and process everything. Time will tell how our children react and are affected...but I'm hoping for the best :)Jamie Lhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00649348422773054993noreply@blogger.com