tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-382329422024-03-17T20:03:55.748-07:00MotherhoodLater.com - World’s leading newsletter, website and community for midlife momsWelcome to The Motherhood Later...Than Sooner Blog. We are dedicated to those who became a mom at age 35+, whether for the first time or again. We tell it like it is re: being a "later" mom. Check out our site at <a href="http://www.motherhoodlaterthansooner.com/">www.MOTHERHOODLATER.com</a> to find out more about our face to face meetings, Shop, news, free monthly email newsletter, contests etc.Robin Gorman Newmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06816036736416667540noreply@blogger.comBlogger1040125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38232942.post-76798762576073312862013-01-18T19:59:00.001-08:002013-01-18T20:17:10.676-08:00Getting Past Messy By Maureen Eich VanWalleghan<span lang="EN">So is anyone still going strong with their New Year’s resolutions? It’s 18 days in and the hard work of making a life change, which often resolutions are, has began.<br />
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There is something so refreshing about having a new plan for life and implementing it at the new year. It’s perfect and that’s the problem. Trying to implement perfection is impossible. It’s like trying to write neatly page after page in a new very beautiful journal. Who wants messy in that journal: tear stains, pens smudges or chocolate crumbs? So naturally the inability to attain perfection wins in the struggle to make the desired change.<br />
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Okay, what to do about this? Start early…no really, start your New Year’s resolution in October. That’s what I did and I can’t believe how great my New Year is going.<br />
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Last October, I watched the movie Julie/Julia for the umpteenth time, balling my eyes out has I had every time I’ve seen it. “I can write a blog…I have ideas” and my other favorite line: “Julia Childs wasn’t always Julia Childs“ really resonate with me. I love Julie and loved that Julia Childs found her passion at dang near 50 years old. Ahhh, I turned 49 on December 31<sup>st</sup>. (Talk about pressure and issues of perfection…) After that viewing I watched the special features and when the real Julie said that she knew that if she wrote her blog her life would look different in a year, I thought me too, me too!!!<br />
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Maybe it was my upcoming birthday or may it was the confluence of my stars, but finally I said to myself: I am going to run a marathon for my 50<sup>th</sup> birthday (one year and two months away) and I am going to blog about the process. The best thing about a blog is the accountability and the cheering section. Now here’s the funny part: I was going to run a marathon during my 40<sup>th </sup>year. For my birthday I bought the books, the clothes, the shoes, everything. Mmm, let’s see I lasted probably a month and I didn’t even start reading the books. <br />
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But now there’s blogging (and I have ideas too). I started my blog, <a href="http://run-mo-run.blogspot.com/">Run Mo Run</a> in October. I started to read the books. And then I floundered, but I tried again. I floundered and whined some more, but I tried again. Up and down through my fits and starts I actually began the process, slowly. The process of committing time to my training wasn’t just about time, there was a lot of emotional baggage about putting my needs and desires first, at times before my wifely and motherly duties, that was and is difficult for me. During the two months I let go of perfection and just kept moving forward emotionally and physically. <br />
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The process of making the commitment publicly to run a marathon has also empowered me to rent an office and write full time. Amazingly, ironically, coincidently the process for getting into the office, something I have dreamed about for quite some time, was exactly the same as beginning the training for a marathon. There was and is a lot of emotional baggage to cut free.<br />
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But, here’s the best part, during the two months it took to paint, move in and start writing matched up with the new year. Now it’s January I find my self training for a marathon and writing in my new office. Perfect. <br />
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The failure of New Year’s resolutions isn’t about the lack of discipline to do the task, it’s about stepping over the emotional baggage that holds one back. Working through that is messy and messy is hard to do at the beginning of the new year. <br />
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</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com33tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38232942.post-63799652765956693132012-03-09T03:00:00.001-08:002012-03-09T03:00:08.843-08:00From Plants to Ramps by Robin Gorman NewmanWhat does a day in the life of a “later” mom look like? Depends on the day of the week, but of late in particular, it's jam-packed and not altogether fun.<br />
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I feel like a chicken without a head. (A fitting expression.…but where did it come from?!) Jumping from one task to the next, many of which are unrelated, it's a wonder I can track everything. Thankfully, I excel at preparing copious TO DO lists...though in my effort to be organized, sometimes it feels overwhelming. My notes are handwritten. Not in my Blackberry. For me, there is something to be said for the tangibility of paper, even if it involves sporting around a clunky hard covered date book. No way I can be confused with a techie, but it works for me.<br />
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That said, one of my fellow “later” mom friends called me last week to touch base. She asked how my day was going.<br />
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I told her I was involved with plants and ramps. What? she asked. <br />
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It was a true representation of my sandwich generation life.<br />
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Though I’m not much of a PTA baby, I decided to join the Plant Sale committee. It is the biggest fundraiser for my son’s elementary school (who knew?!), and despite my not having a particularly green thumb, somehow it called out to me. An email was sent by the committee head to those who expressed interest in serving. There were about 15 names on the list. An initial meeting was planned, and it wound up being just three of us. I was surprised by the lack of present bodies. I was looking forward to a meeting where ideas would be shared. This turned out to be a session reviewing the plant catalog and deciding upon which planters to order. (Are you yawning yet?!) The committee head had already made the decisions for the most part, and was looking for confirmation re: her choices. The next meeting (don't get too excited) will be when the actual plant selection is done. And, I'll be volunteering at the sale itself in May.<br />
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Re: the ramp portion of my day. My father recently suffered a stroke and has been in rehab. Anticipating his return home in a couple of weeks, I’ve been conducting meetings with ramp companies to explore the preparation of his ranch house for wheelchair accessibility. In in a short period of time, I’ve learned more about ramps, lifts, etc. that I’ve ever thought necessary. Fortunately in the mix of meetings, a friend recommended a reasonably-priced contractor who proposed the most economical and what seems like the most feasible approach, so I’m grateful to have a direction that feels right.<br />
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It’s no surprise that there are nights I don’t sleep well…with visions of plants and ramps swirling through my mind. And, that was just for that particular week.<br />
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On any given day, I’m tackling a multitude of projects, not to mention professional pursuits. Can’t say the life of a work at home mom is boring, though choosing planters is a far cry from the career I once had in what feels like a lifetime ago….working as a public relations professional in NYC….the Vice President of a mid sized firm. (I later went on to open my own PR practice.)<br />
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I know that on the professional front there are exciting things ahead, but personally, a midlife mom's gotta do what she's gotta do, even if it means deliberating about wood vs. metal and hibiscus vs. herbs.<br />
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What do you have on your personal plate that isn't as exciting as you wish? Do share.....Robin Gorman Newmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06816036736416667540noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38232942.post-66552900721310926102012-03-08T05:33:00.000-08:002012-03-08T05:33:00.217-08:00Becoming Right Sized...by Liimu<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8KoN9ngUHk2bgVbbcaMyPyPs7UOxBcDNQx2qj_lYsxYHwRG2Gas9oULdikd3_L_jSWTb9Jhe3ihrkt-YUD10MY5hKoXGViwYEgPQYqkb1T84LCM8B0IRVANRDfFV7rv-pCmuS-g/s1600/AutumnandMax.JPG"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj8KoN9ngUHk2bgVbbcaMyPyPs7UOxBcDNQx2qj_lYsxYHwRG2Gas9oULdikd3_L_jSWTb9Jhe3ihrkt-YUD10MY5hKoXGViwYEgPQYqkb1T84LCM8B0IRVANRDfFV7rv-pCmuS-g/s320/AutumnandMax.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5717337270251978130" /></a><br />Well, my baby is turning one in exactly one week and I have lost a total of three pounds since I came home from the hospital. Three pounds! Well, that's not exactly true. I've lost and gained the same ten pounds at least twice. Which is why I've been working very hard to re-learn how to eat intuitively. I've apparently come to the end of the line as far as diets are concerned. They simply no longer work for me.<br /><br />I actually grieved this fact in my therapist's office this week. Cried big, fat alligator tears over the fact that I had to mourn the loss of the illusion of control. That's what I held on to all those years I tried the latest and greatest fad diet - the grapefruit diet, the 9-day diet, the Scarsdale diet, SlimFast, Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig, Body for Life, you name it...I've tried it. Don't get me wrong. They all worked - temporarily. But the problem is that none of them taught me what I really needed to know, which is how to learn to trust my body and feed it when, what and how much it actually needs. What I'm learning now is that it's not about being in control, it's about being in charge. (Thank you, Michelle May.) There's a huge difference between the two, no pun intended.<br /><br />So, I've been trying to relearn all over again how to trust my body's hunger and satiety cues the way I did when I was, oh, I don't know...seven? I've been doing a lot of reading, which seems to be helping, albeit slowly. I've read Naturally Thin, by Bethenny Frankel, Women, Food and God, by Geneen Roth, Intuitive Eating, by Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch, and most recently, Eat What You Love, Love What you Eat, by Michelle May. They all have been extemely helpful and enlightening and slowly but surely, I feel like the diet fog is lifting. For the first time in a very long time, I'm actually hearing the voice in my head that's talking crazy to me all the time, telling me I need to eat twice as much as I need or that chocolate will solve all my problems. For the first time in a very long time, I'm actually waiting to eat until I'm hungry and paying attention while I do it, rather than reading a book. Because of that, I'm able to tell when I'm full and I don't mind stopping.<br /><br />Unlike all those wonderful women, however, it hasn't yet led me to some miraculous weight loss, I'm not going to lie. Because of this, I have been tempted time and time again to fall back on a diet - maybe one of the really good ones, I tell myself, like Weight Watchers or Body for Life. Or, maybe I'll just count calories. Up till now, I have resisted the urge. It feels like I was on this roller coaster ride for years that was way more scary than fun and I finally got off. And even though I can look at the people at the top of the hill and hear their screams and tell myself it's thrilling, I know if it were me, it would just be screaming. I can't do it anymore. It was making me sick. It was making me unhappy. And the truth is, I'd rather be fat, sane and happy than thin, crazy and miserable. <br /><br />So just for today, I'm a little thick around the middle. I still have beautiful hair, great cheekbones and sexy legs (even if they are supersized at the moment). But on any given day, I am making wonderfully healthy choices for my body - like juicing green vegetables, beets and carrots every day, roasting cauliflower and cabbage and eating that for lunch and dinner, using my crockpot to make yummy soups, and adding new foods like ezekiel bread and avocado to my diet on a regular basis. So, whatever size I end up becoming is just going to have to be good enough. I'd love if it were a size 10, but we'll just have to wait and see.Liimuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16500191546997263087noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38232942.post-50792947826269040662012-03-02T13:43:00.001-08:002012-03-02T18:57:29.603-08:00ROBIN'S SHOW REVIEW: Rated P...For Parenthood<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSLvQbqSsMdUel8YVFB8OdYi-ggFGKwbgVMs9Qx7LbXfIrAoof8OomH8YECF0z1Ak9Kvtl69-zKdZwhqeFIp03vQKqosDMLSgGlqNfnfnpaqmheoEM65KumRcC5PfYsogbthk/s1600/Rated+P+Logo.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="139" width="146" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSLvQbqSsMdUel8YVFB8OdYi-ggFGKwbgVMs9Qx7LbXfIrAoof8OomH8YECF0z1Ak9Kvtl69-zKdZwhqeFIp03vQKqosDMLSgGlqNfnfnpaqmheoEM65KumRcC5PfYsogbthk/s200/Rated+P+Logo.png" /></a></div><br />
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Book and Lyrics by Sandy Rustin<br />
Music and Lyrics b yDan Lipton and David Rossmer<br />
Directed by Jeremy Dobrish<br />
Featuring Courtney Balan, Chris Hoch, David Josefsberg and Joanna Young<br />
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Rated P…For Parenthood chronicles various stages of modern-day parenting, from conception to college. The likeable, versatile cast of four takes the audience through the ups and downs of childrearing through a series of comic and musical vignettes in under 90 minutes. They play both adults and kids of varying ages, some more convincingly portrayed than others.<br />
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Not much surprising here in the material, but two scenes featuring dad characters were particularly refreshing and witty. In Mind Over Playground, two fathers watching their children navigate a playground find themselves attempting to navigate a potential friendship (thinking in silence, yet aloud to the audience, what the other might be imaging about them). In a rap duet with the two dads, in Parent Teacher Conference, the fathers bust a move anticipating the challenge of speaking with their respective kids teachers, only to find out that they're doing well in school.<br />
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The simulated mom/dad texting (peppered with sexting) on the illuminated set backdrop contributed the most to comical moments, which often didn't come across all that well through the quick skit format. <br />
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All in all, if you crave a moms night out, you might want to check out the show. No doubt you'll find something to relate to, even if no particular revelation is shared. <br />
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Visit <a href="http://www.ratedpthemusical.com">http://www.ratedpthemusical.com</a>.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnKXrmoJ0MCMbDg2OFnDBgjHjjovt_MV_jV8K3kquASwdOjxZV7VIvpw_tvj9PenCY9u8jTOU-Ayv6WP-9hVbwI8IHVTCIHk-k77VEciy3eF8TcMM6PyKW8Q_hBb3jcPzU5aQ/s1600/playtimeBanner_150x150.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="150" width="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnKXrmoJ0MCMbDg2OFnDBgjHjjovt_MV_jV8K3kquASwdOjxZV7VIvpw_tvj9PenCY9u8jTOU-Ayv6WP-9hVbwI8IHVTCIHk-k77VEciy3eF8TcMM6PyKW8Q_hBb3jcPzU5aQ/s200/playtimeBanner_150x150.jpg" /></a></div><br />
In need of babysitting? Playtime! is the first program to provide childcare during theatrical shows in NYC. It is available for Rated P...For Parenthood, as well as other shows. Check it out at <a href="http://www.playtimenyc.com">http://www.playtimenyc.com</a>.<br />
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Playtime! was established to bring parents back to the theater by providing excellent childcare at (or steps from) the theater at an extremely affordable rate. The service is available to any type of ticket buyer for participating shows, regardless of the price paid for the ticket, and is just $15 per child. Sitters Studio is fully bonded and insured, and their rigorous background checks and training ensure that they provide not only an artistic and fun experience for children, but also one that complies with top-notch safety standards. It is available for children ages 4 - 12.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUzo7420Z90Dr4o_8mCJBbXSIoTujCjvoD9FqScIQoBL1XgsXG0TqTi7Z6QfD-fxIlOlGlt_AWkAnv4Q23GLL0eNHOhsZgg2JGksXZBp8tdlu3n6PMAqZgmEkRlXKhm0U3peM/s1600/mamadrama.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUzo7420Z90Dr4o_8mCJBbXSIoTujCjvoD9FqScIQoBL1XgsXG0TqTi7Z6QfD-fxIlOlGlt_AWkAnv4Q23GLL0eNHOhsZgg2JGksXZBp8tdlu3n6PMAqZgmEkRlXKhm0U3peM/s1600/mamadrama.jpg" /></a></div>Robin Gorman Newmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06816036736416667540noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38232942.post-15651223448404396272012-03-02T03:00:00.001-08:002012-03-02T03:00:07.298-08:00ROBIN'S SHOW REVIEW: How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXQFP1bTsM_lB8ZFIMPjXC0P5SN5iZKK2JaUQ7CK5_HVwDtqhowQEefPQDNT6vsUUSzGYVuHA1Jh3Ebts7SS35r6Fv0sN7qC7IkSqdr2nZHRb22wtsTyR65OFCF83ANxSaKv4/s1600/succeed.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="114" width="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiXQFP1bTsM_lB8ZFIMPjXC0P5SN5iZKK2JaUQ7CK5_HVwDtqhowQEefPQDNT6vsUUSzGYVuHA1Jh3Ebts7SS35r6Fv0sN7qC7IkSqdr2nZHRb22wtsTyR65OFCF83ANxSaKv4/s200/succeed.jpg" /></a></div><br />
The 50th Anniversary production of the Tony Award and Pulitzer Prize-winning musical comedy HOW TO SUCCEED IN BUSINESS WITHOUT REALLY TRYING currently stars teen heartthrob and youngest member of the Jonas Brothers singing trio, Nick Jonas, as J. Pierrepont Finch, Emmy, Golden Globe and Grammy Award-winning star of screen, television and stage Beau Bridges as J.B. Biggley, and making his Broadway debut, star of stage and television’s “Ugly Betty,” Michael Urie as Bud Frump.<br />
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They join Rose Hemingway in her Broadway debut as Jonas’ onstage romantic interest Rosemary Pilkington, 2011 Tony nominee Tammy Blanchard as Hedy La Rue, Rob Bartlett as Twimble/Wally Womper, Mary Faber as Smitty, Ellen Harvey as Miss Jones, 2011 Emmy Award winner Michael Park as Bert Bratt, and Emmy and Peabody Award-winning journalist Anderson Cooper making his Broadway debut as the voice of the narrator. The cast of 30 includes Timothy J. Alex, Cleve Asbury, Tanya Birl, Holly Ann Butler, Abby Church, Kevin Covert, J. Austin Eyer, Paige Faure, David Hull, Justin Keyes, Marty Lawson, Shannon Lewis, Ian Liberto, Andrew Madsen, Nick Mayo, Sarah O'Gleby, Colt Prattes, Stephanie Rothenberg, Charlie Williams and Samantha Zack.<br />
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With the aid of a dated yet trusty self-help book "How to Succeed in Business," wily window washer J. Pierrepont Finch enjoys a rise up the corporate ladder at the World-Wide Wicket Company. Along the way, he romances secretary Rosemary Pilkington, charms the head honchos, outsmarts competitors and proves you can judge a book by its cover, even if it's corny.<br />
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The show is light-hearted fun. Urie is a hoot. Pilkington is a standout. Bridges is crusty and charismatic. My 9 year old son enjoyed. He was excited to see Jonas, though he his singing chops could use amplification for the Broadway stage. He gave it a valiant effort, and the many teen girls in the audience applauded his admirable efforts. He delivered best in the Act II showstopper “Brotherhood of Man.” The cast overall is impressive, as is the set, and it’s a feel good, family-friendly theatrical experience. <br />
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Nominated for eight 2011 Tony Awards including Best Revival of a Musical, HOW TO SUCCEED IN BUSINESS WITHOUT REALLY TRYING, directed and choreographed by Tony and Emmy Award-winner Rob Ashford, began previews Saturday, February 26, 2011 and opened Sunday, March 27 at Broadway’s Al Hirschfeld Theatre (302 West 45th Street in NYC). Breakout star of Fox’s Emmy and Golden Globe Award-winning television show “GLEE” Darren Criss recently concluded his limited run as J. Pierrepont Finch on January 22, 2012. Daniel Radcliffe and 2011 Tony Award winner John Larroquette both played their final performance on January 1, 2012.<br />
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HOW TO SUCCEED IN BUSINESS WITHOUT REALLY TRYING has music and lyrics by Academy Award and Tony Award winner Frank Loesser, and a book by Abe Burrows, Jack Weinstock and Willie Gilbert, based on the book by Shepherd Mead. The creative team includes Derek McLane (Sets) Catherine Zuber (Costumes), Howell Binkley (Lighting), Jon Weston (Sound), Tom Watson (Hair), Doug Besterman (Orchestrations), and David Chase (Music Director and Arranger). <br />
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Tickets for HOW TO SUCCEED IN BUSINESS WITHOUT REALLY TRYING range from $52 - $132, and are available at the Al Hirschfeld Theatre box office and at <a href="http://www.telecharge.com">Telecharge.com</a> (212-239-6200). A special family four pack offer is available; Visit <a href="http://howtosucceedbroadway.com/family.php">http://howtosucceedbroadway.com/family.php</a>.Robin Gorman Newmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06816036736416667540noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38232942.post-19874815800227322282012-03-01T06:31:00.000-08:002012-03-01T06:31:00.467-08:00A Fond Farewell...by LiimuNo, I'm not done blogging and my weight loss journey is certainly still ongoing. I'm not going anywhere any time soon. So, what am I saying "Farewell" to? To dieting and all my diet paraphernalia. I deleted all my apps, tossed all my magazines, even cancelled my "Biggest Loser" season pass. <br /><br />Part of becoming an intuitive eater is letting go of the diet mentality. It's funny, because there's a saying in recovery that in order to successfully achieve sobriety, you have to let go of any reservation in your mind that you might one day successfully drink again. Similarly, successfully becoming an intuitive eater means letting go of any reservation that you might one day successfully diet again. Fortunately for me, I have experience with doing this in sobriety and know firsthand that adopting this mentality of full surrender really does work and leads to success. So now, I just have to apply this to intuitive eating.<br /><br />For the first few months, I did harbor a reservation - I felt like if this "intuitive eating thing" didn't work out, I could always hop on a diet and lose the weight real quick. That has changed. This "intuitive eating thing" is now the only thing. It's more important to me, even, than the weight loss, which I now see as a likely by product of successfully becoming an intuitive eater. I look forward to that happening, but am even more thrilled to be freed from the bondage of the dieting/binging cycle. For example, this week I learned how to sense my own fullness during a meal and how to stop before I hit fullness - that is, to stop eating once I was no longer hungry. CRAZY, man. I can't even tell you how long it's been since I've done that at one MEAL (unless the food was gross) let alone, an entire week of eating.<br /><br />When I stopped smoking, one of the tricks I used to stay stopped was to identify myself as a "nonsmoker" as much as possible. So, here I am now, becoming a new person once again - an intuitive eater who simply doesn't diet. <br /><br />Post a comment if you want more information on intuitive eating. I'd be happy to help you begin your journey!Liimuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16500191546997263087noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38232942.post-35483855474242619062012-02-29T03:00:00.002-08:002012-02-29T03:00:16.510-08:00Is This a Playdate or Unpaid Caregiving? - by Cara Potapshyn Meyers<div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Georgia; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">My son, as many of the regular readers know, is the epitome of eight-year-old social chairman. He regularly has playdates all weekend long. Sometimes with a couple different children on the same day. I enjoy having his friends over or him being invited to other’s homes. It takes a "do nothing day" and makes it into something a little more special.</span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Georgia; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Georgia; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Lately, I have noticed that a couple of the Moms of my son's friends seem to be slowly taking advantage of my generosity in having their child over for a playdate. As an example, one Mom begged me to have her son over for "a couple hours," which turned into six. Later, I found out that her "emergency" was a workout at the gym followed by a manicure!</span></span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Georgia; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Georgia; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">A different Mom said she needed somewhere for her son to go because they lost heat in her home. I readily obliged to have her son over and extended the invitation to her as well. She said that she was able to go somewhere else. Where did the Mom go? Out to lunch and then drinks with some friends! I can't help but wonder...have playdates turned into unpaid caregiving?</span></span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Georgia; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Georgia; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I sympathize with with some of these Moms. They either work full-time or are working, single Moms and need a break. But a little reciprocation would be appreciated. Most Moms will have my son over for a couple hours, maybe three. Just enough time for me to do a good grocery shopping. However, I am using my time for an essential activity. It is not a haircut or a massage. Also, when I have my son's friends over, for hours, I end up doing marathon laundry or a massive clean up of an overstuffed closet. Certainly not the most exciting things in the world. In fact, my son has one of his friends over right now. I was told this kid's Mom was getting the spider veins removed from her legs. Not only did her procedure take hours, I had to drop her son home because her legs swelled up and she couldn’t come to pick him up! At least I'm doing something productive like writing this blog. She's having an elective cosmetic procedure!</span></span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Georgia; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Georgia; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">When the weather is nicer, the kids can play outside, we can go to the park, visit local farms, enjoy the pleasure of the outdoors. It is just these winter months that are the most irritating. And a day without a playdate...let's just say I would rather deal with the monsoon of toys that get strewn around my entire house.</span></span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Georgia; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Georgia; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">One Mom asked me to drive her child home because she was "exhausted." I've had a Mom text me that she was running late, would I mind getting a pizza for the kids, and she never even offered to reimburse me for the food! This was at the end of an almost 7 hour playdate!</span></span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Georgia; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Georgia; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I've also noticed that none of my son's friend's help clean up the monsoon they created when it is time for them to go. I always ask my son if he helped clean up before we leave a friend’s home. Most of these Moms just rudely sit in their warm cars in my driveway, blasting the horn until their charge appears. To the contrary, I always walk to the front door of the friend’s home, even if the weather is brutal. I inquire about how the playdate went, then make sure that my son helped to clean up. I also make sure to remind my son to say “thank you” for the playdate to his friend as well as his friend’s Mom.</span></span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Georgia; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Georgia; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">With a couple Moms, I decided to put my foot down. When my dog was sick and needed rest, not two wild, rambunctious kids bothering him, I said to a Mom that I would give her money to take my son to the movies or bowling together with her son, but I just couldn't have the kids playing at my house. The poor dog hides from them when he is feeling well! He didn't need these wild kids piling things on him when he wasn't feeling his best. The Mom appeared a little affronted, but I had reached my limit.</span></span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Georgia; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Georgia; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Playdates outside the home will also need to be either paid for upfront or by the other Mom at the counter. I went to get tickets for a popular movie an hour before the movie started, dropping my son off at his friend’s house on the way. I paid $58 for 2 adult tickets, 2 child tickets and 4, 3D glasses (they are no longer free.) How did she reciprocate? By buying a tub of popcorn, which included free refills, and a drink. The second drink came with the popcorn. I told her how much I spent and when she said she would pay for the popcorn and drinks, my reaction was, “huh”?</span></span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Georgia; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Georgia; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">So what's a Mom to do? I have enough on my plate than to take on the position of unpaid caregiver. I already scheduled an activity for my son on Sunday mornings, so that other Moms wouldn’t be able to just drop their child off at 11 am and pick them up at dinner time (or later!). I tell the Moms that there is a 3 or 4 hour playdate limit at my house. I certainly don't expect my child to exceed that limit on his playdates at other's homes either. More than a few hours becomes a burden and the kids end up spiraling out of control. My son needs to realize that a whole day does not purely revolve around him. There is now also a “clean up rule.” Fifteen minutes before the playdate ends, both kids put the house back in order. </span></span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Georgia; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></span></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Georgia; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Maybe then, playdates will be something to be looked forward to by <i>both</i> my son <i>and</i> <i>me</i>!</span></span></div>Cara Meyershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05929269041124368708noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38232942.post-82338120462401153872012-02-28T12:25:00.001-08:002012-02-28T12:26:28.071-08:00Here He Grows Again by Margaret HartIt's that time of year again. The time when the perennial flowers start to peak through the ground in New England. When the birds start to chirp loudly outside my bedroom window at dawn. And when my son goes through his annual growth spurt. But this time, the spurt is more like a season of change. <br />
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For years I've been complaining that my son doesn't eat enough. He eats two peas and he's full. I can hear my mother saying, "Well, just wait until he becomes a teenager and eats you out of house and home." First of all, that's redundant. Second, since when has anyone literally eaten everything there is to eat in their house? I get it. Everyone says teenage boys eat like mad. I'm half Italian. I love food. Bring me your appetite.<br />
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Over the years, I've been told by friends that I should be grateful my son is not a big eater. I am happy that I haven't had to deal with an overweight child, and my heart goes out to parents who have children who are struggling with their weight. It hasn't been easy, however, to raise a child who is a picky eater, and to worry that he's not getting enough nutrition. I remember my pediatrician advising not too long ago, after an annual wellness exam, to add a little extra butter and cheese to my son's food on occasion, and supplement his meals with Pediasure. She wasn't concerned, but said it couldn't hurt to sneak in a few extra calories. My son has always been consistent with his weight and height since birth. And my pediatrician also told me that she felt he was healthy, and was going to be tall and slender. And there's nothing wrong with that!<br />
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Somewhere along the way, he learned about healthy eating and good food choices. I like to think he got some of that knowledge from me. I also think the schools have done a really good job. Beginning with preschool. My son has never been one to eat a lot of salty snacks or sweets, and he didn't have his first ice cream cone until he was about 3 years old—he just wasn't interested. He eats a very small portion at every meal, and is full. He rarely finishes everything on his plate. This used to frustrate me until I figured out the secret: give him a small portion, he will usually eat it all, and it will make mom feel good seeing that he ate everything on his plate! And if he asks for more, mom will be even happier! And supplement his diet with vitamins and a daily "special milkshake"(aka Pediasure). This has gone on for the last five years.<br />
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The last few months, however, have been different. Even before he turned seven this past December, and more so since then, his appetite had increased dramatically. I began to notice that he was hungry more often, wanted to eat larger portions, asked for second helpings, and was "asking" for food—something he rarely did in the past. Now, half a sandwich for lunch is often not enough. He needs a whole sandwich! And despite the fact he gets less than 20 minutes for lunch, he manages to eat most everything in his lunchbox, which usually consists of a sandwich, a yogurt, a milk or juice, and a fruit (and sometimes a cookie). In the past, he'd typically come home with uneaten fruit and the cookie, but these days, the lunchbox is empty. And by the time he gets off the bus, he's asking for a snack.<br />
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Along with the increase in his appetite, there's been a noticeable growth in his height and shoe size—nearly two sizes in less than a year! The jeans I bought him in September are now good only for wading in ponds. And the expensive sneakers he "needed," are now too tight, and only slightly worn. Fortunately, there's a good consignment shop nearby where I hope to recoup a few dollars for the sneakers.<br />
So now I wonder. Is it beginning? The "eating me out of house and home" thing? Maybe this is the first step in that direction. Tonight, the boy was really hungry. He ate an entire cheeseburger. For a child who eats two peas, and is full, this is big. It has only happened once or twice before. This is news I had to report to my husband right away. News flash: the boy ate an entire cheeseburger. Including the bun. Seriously. Can you believe it?<br />
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If my mom is right, and she usually is, forget the burger, next he'll be asking me for a side of beef!Robin Gorman Newmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06816036736416667540noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38232942.post-53105317867273565272012-02-27T02:50:00.001-08:002012-02-27T02:50:01.005-08:00Looks Like We Made It—by Jamie LevineThere was no “break” in winter break for me this year. But it’s over now, and looking back on it, I have to admit it was worth every bit of exhaustion I withstood—because Jayda had one helluva good time. Together, we spent a day at the Long Island Children’s Museum with one of our favorite families, had several play dates with old friends and new, spent hours outside at the playground—as well as plenty of time at the frozen yogurt shop, went to a “Bake-Your-Own-Cookies” birthday party, got haircuts at the salon and went out to lunch, and even saw “Pinkalicious: The Musical.” And while every night was a battle to get Jayda to bed so I could write treatment plans for my clients, do freelance work, research material for a term project, and study for a midterm, every morning, I was greeted by Jayda bursting with enthusiasm, and asking, “Mommy, what are we doing today?” followed by a resounding “You’re the best mommy in the world!” <br /><br />Fortunately, all of Jayda’s good friends have mothers who are <em>my </em>good friends, so at least I inadvertently enjoyed some socializing, too, this week. And thankfully, Jayda was great company—she’s almost always on her best behavior when we’re out and about or seeing friends, so she was pretty darn happy most of this week. And I was happy to be with her—and tried desperately to save my stressing out about school work until after she was asleep. But it was a tough week for me, too: The only time I had to myself was a little gym-time every morning (where Jayda went to the gym daycare) and when I was in front of my computer working at night…or passed out for six hours or less in bed. <br /><br />Yesterday morning, when I left for school, Jayda clung to me for a bit—and told me she didn't want me to leave. The feeling was mutual: I was heading to a Speech Disorders midterm for which I felt ill-prepared to take. But Jayda and I finally said our mushy goodbyes to each other, and I felt secure that Jayda was going to have a great day with her babysitter. When I got to school, my fellow graduate students were out of control, ranting about how much they’d studied and stressed about the midterm—and how many of their days had been consumed by test preparation. And instead of feeling insecure about how I was going to do, because I’d spent much less time studying than they had, I felt relieved. Because my age has brought me wisdom and I know what’s important: I know that one test isn’t going to change my life—but the quality of time I spend with my little girl just might change hers. And when all is said and done, I did well enough on that test—and know I'll do even better when I'm working with clients who have those speech disorders. And most importantly, my little girl wakes up every morning with a smile on <br />her face…and this week, we made a lot of great memories together.Jamie Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00649348422773054993noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38232942.post-37365305643355146252012-02-26T07:00:00.003-08:002012-02-26T07:00:01.211-08:00We Make Human Capital – A Book Review by Maureen Eich VanWalleghan<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAyYjeN50xgHYsYAsDsSgLxR1a-JUORV1gAtf3_zumZDduzNAD-lIRk-jtXS-a86OdbQVW4nQRNvKSR3eIoJoKanMFCX3l8maZLDOdqhbEA87Gc0GGWOkSPTr4t8PevoaqByZl/s1600/hardcover.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 150px; height: 211px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAyYjeN50xgHYsYAsDsSgLxR1a-JUORV1gAtf3_zumZDduzNAD-lIRk-jtXS-a86OdbQVW4nQRNvKSR3eIoJoKanMFCX3l8maZLDOdqhbEA87Gc0GGWOkSPTr4t8PevoaqByZl/s320/hardcover.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5712927981542055314" /></a><p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 14.0px Arial"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Become a mommy and become a part of a phenomenon as defined by dictionary.com: a fact, occurrence, or circumstance observed or observable...</span></span></span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 14.0px Arial; min-height: 16.0pxcolor:#333233;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"></span><br /></span></span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 14.0px Arial; color:#333233;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">After reading </span></span><b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">The Price of Motherhood</span></span></i></b><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">, Why the most important job in the world is still the least valued <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;">by <a href="http://www.anncrittenden.com/">Ann Crittenden</a></span></span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">, I realized that the place I call Mommyville is real. The location where I feel tremendous love for and by my child, but where I am completely invisible to the outside world is in fact created by the culture I live in. </span></span></span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 14.0px Arial; min-height: 16.0pxcolor:#333233;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"></span><br /></span></span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 14.0px Arial; color:#333233;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">In chapters like “How Mothers’ Work Was ‘Disappeared’: The Invention of the Unproductive Housewife,” Crittenden discusses things mothers know intuitively, but don’t want to talk about, can’t quite put their finger on or sadly, think is just a personal issue, like getting a divorce with children is a sentence of poverty. Or that moms are directly impacting GDP (Gross Domestic Product) and yet in the United States the contribution of raising children is not calculated into the formula for the creation of our economic health. Throughout the book, Crittenden uncovers the history, politics and phenomenon of how mothers’ work is unvalued in our culture.</span></span></span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 14.0px Arial; min-height: 16.0pxcolor:#333233;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"></span><br /></span></span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 14.0px Arial; color:#333233;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Now lest one think I just picked this book because I am feeling crabby, let me say that this book has so turned my head around and spotlighted what I have been feeling from the moment my daughter was born, which was that I had somehow become irrelevant. This was acutely more distressing since I came to the marriage and baby-making party quite late. Being a single career woman till after 40 means that the shock has been tremendous. But, after reading this book, I don’t feel crazy anymore. Crittenden discusses money, how it’s spent, and who has control of it in the context of marriage, being a stay-at-home mom and raising children. What’s eerily fascinating is that those fights I sometimes have with my husband are actually the same fights many women are having...because really husbands’ attitudes are shaped by the larger culture as well. </span></span></span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 14.0px Arial; min-height: 16.0pxcolor:#333233;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"></span><br /></span></span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 14.0px Arial; color:#333233;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">I am reviewing this book—which is not new, it was originally published in 2001, though it did get new preface from the author in 2010—because I want to contribute to the mommy revolution...we are in one right now. I want to remind us that it is mothers who make the big changes for the good in this world. Consider the film </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><a href="http://www.racetonowhere.com/">The Race To Nowhere</a></span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">, which is challenging America’s push for excessive achievement in school or a more recent film, </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><a href="http://www.missrepresentation.org/">Miss Representation</a></span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">, that considers the limiting images of women in the media. What’s so wonderful about these films is that the writer/directors are mothers, who embrace their motherhood role to champion change. Put their work together with </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">The Price of Motherhood</span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> and one finds a potent mix of information and empowerment.</span></span></span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 14.0px Arial; min-height: 16.0pxcolor:#333233;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"></span><br /></span></span></p> <p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 14.0px Arial; color:#333233;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Read </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">The Price of Motherhood <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;">and</span> </span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">discover why “feminism” or even conservatism have an investment in keeping the work of mothers invisible. Read </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">The Price of Motherhood <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: normal;">and</span> </span></span></i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">discover why wealthy women have a tough road in marriage and divorce. The truth is that divide and conquer has always kept women from finding their voices. See what Crittenden reveals about the most important work on the planet: raising kids. It will give you a whole new prospective about the phenomenon of being a mother in the 21st century.</span></span></span></p><p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 14.0px Arial; color:#333233;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></span></span></p><p style="margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; font: 14.0px Arial; color:#333233;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:'times new roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">P.S. Definitely check out Crittenden's website, linked above. In Contacts there is great information about improving the economic status of mothers.</span></span></span></p>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38232942.post-53037347922557283952012-02-26T03:00:00.001-08:002012-02-26T13:25:12.259-08:00GUEST BLOG POST: Authentic Parenting and Living by Kathleen McIntire<table border="0" cellpadding="0" class="MsoNormalTable" style="width: 100%"><tbody>
<tr style="mso-yfti-firstrow: yes; mso-yfti-irow: 0; mso-yfti-lastrow: yes;"> <td style="padding: .75pt .75pt .75pt .75pt;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjimA2hyphenhyphenMwhszW4Key5kICdo-zdVACVIDmp1Jztna5q71QiBMg9hgznt1dTBVqVtHWxrQyb5pOLEvdSKL3ja2NO8NJRSJ_bvuXAteCPUPBGhWpxF7kw93ykA1kPznCJr-9kMLc/s1600/KathleenMcIntire.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjimA2hyphenhyphenMwhszW4Key5kICdo-zdVACVIDmp1Jztna5q71QiBMg9hgznt1dTBVqVtHWxrQyb5pOLEvdSKL3ja2NO8NJRSJ_bvuXAteCPUPBGhWpxF7kw93ykA1kPznCJr-9kMLc/s200/KathleenMcIntire.jpg" width="166" /></a></div><br />
<div align="center" style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-size: 14pt;">52 Weeks of Authenticity: Practical Ways to Make 2012 the Year You Finally Get Real and Start Living the Best Life for YOU</span></b><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Authenticity.</span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"> It’s a word that gets tossed around quite a bit these days. (In fact, it’s in danger of becoming a bit of a cliché.) Sure, we all think we’re authentic in our words and actions. But are we really? I think that, consciously or not, most of us let the expectations of others drive the decisions we make every day—from the major we choose, to the kind of house we buy, to where we go on vacation, to whether we stay in and relax on Saturday night or go out and party. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">So many of us live out our lives as slaves to the tyranny of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">should</i>. Year after year we strive to become what others—parents, partners, experts, society—tell us we should be. And then, one day, we wake up and realize we never got to let go and just be our real selves.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">The start of a fresh new year (okay…give or take a week or two) is the perfect time to resolve to live more authentically. Problem is, you may not be sure where to even begin. Heck, you may not be sure what an authentic life looks like! That’s why I have put together some practical tips—52 of them, in fact—for “getting real” in various areas of your life.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%; text-indent: .5in;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Each week, choose one suggestion from this list to focus on. No need to tackle them in the order they’re listed or to do all of them. They’re just meant to get you thinking—and to get you started down the path to a more authentic life.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: 150%;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF</span></u></b></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">We need to find the courage to say NO to the things and people that are not serving </span></i></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">us if we want to rediscover ourselves and live our lives with authenticity.</span></i></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">—<a href="http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/b/barbaradea148246.html"><b><span style="color: windowtext; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; text-decoration: none;">Barbara de Angelis</span></b></a><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"></span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">• <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Come to terms with what really matters to you.</b> Get comfortable with it. Maybe you’re okay with a smaller income and more free time. Maybe you’re okay with an extra 20 pounds. Never apologize for not “fitting in.” The minute you find yourself worrying about how others perceive you is the minute you abandon authenticity. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">• <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Whatever you decide to do (or not to do), own your decision.</b> If you find you can’t own it—if you feel wracked with guilt or compelled to hide the truth from those around you—it’s time to rethink what you’re doing. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">• <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">If in your journey to authenticity you decide a lifestyle change is needed, be realistic in your goal-setting.</b> Let’s say you decide your diet, heavy in fats and processed foods, isn’t serving you well. If you know you aren’t going to grow an organic garden in your backyard, set a goal to prepare a body- and soul-nourishing meal (heavy on the veggies and supplemented with organically raised meat) two days a week at first. It’s best to take “baby steps” and plan to make more dramatic changes when you’re ready. In this way you’ll build the confidence you need to succeed. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">• <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Break an unwritten “rule” made by others and reject any shame.</b> </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Allowing others to shame us keeps us living on the treadmill and trying to fit in by doing it the “right way.” Authenticity is inner directed. Inauthenticity comes from caring what others think and letting the external dictate how you live.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">• <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Ask yourself, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">What am I hiding?</i></b> Make the choice to reveal something you’ve been fiercely protecting. Chip away at the armor by sharing a secret with a partner or a friend or maybe just your cat or your journal. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">• <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">It’s okay to do things for yourself.</b> Honor your own needs. Sometimes we all need a massage or a new handbag or just a couple of hours alone while our spouse takes the kids to a movie. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">• <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Give yourself permission to have feelings that you think you “shouldn’t” have.</b> <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Should</i> and <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">shouldn’t</i> have no place in an authentic life.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">• <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Get real about money.</b> Spending what you can’t afford to spend is another way of pretending to be who we aren’t. It’s also a disaster in the making! </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">• <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Take a break from the need to DO something.</b> Simply BE. Simply show up as you are and love.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">• <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Know when you’re at your best and when you’re not.</b> (When you’re <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">not</i>, it’s almost always the perfect time for a bath or a nap!)</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">• <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Call a moratorium on victim talk.</b> Authentic people don’t blame others. They recognize their own power and use it to create their own reality.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">• <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Own your emotions.</b> If you can’t help crying in confrontational situations, let the tears flow. If you’re devastated when a pet dies, accept condolences without apologizing or minimizing. You feel what you feel…let go of the label of being “too sensitive.”</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">• <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Each week, spend some time outside.</b> When we disconnect from Nature, we disconnect from Source. We’re creatures of the Earth and it’s hard to thrive in an artificial world.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">• <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Declutter a little (people and “stuff”).</b> When you’re too busy trying to manage chaos, you can’t relax enough to even know who you are and what you need and want. (Do you really love Grandma’s china? If you don’t, give it to someone who does. Are you really going to fit into those size 8 jeans ever again? If not, get rid of them!)</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">• Give yourself a makeover.</span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"> Do you dress in a way that truly expresses who you are? This question has nothing to do with what’s hot or stylish or what label is attached to your garments. It has everything to do with feeling comfortable in your own skin (and what’s covering it) instead of vaguely ill at ease or like you’re playing an expected role.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">• <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Seize every opportunity to say, “I love you”—to yourself.</b> Until we can fully love ourselves, we can’t fully love the others in our lives.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">AUTHENTIC FRIENDSHIPS</span></u></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">We need people in our lives with whom we can be as open as possible. </span></i></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">To have real conversations with people may seem like such a simple, </span></i></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">obvious suggestion, but it involves courage and risk.</span></i></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;">—<a href="http://quotes.possumstew.com/author/Thomas+Moore%2C+PhD%2C+in+the+essay+%22Embracing+the+Everyday%22"><b><span style="color: windowtext; font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; text-decoration: none;">Thomas Moore, PhD</span></b></a><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"></span></b></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="mso-layout-grid-align: none; mso-pagination: none; text-align: center; text-autospace: none;"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">• <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Learn to say no.</b> Sometimes it takes an authentic no (to something you don’t want to do) to say an authentic yes (to something you long to do). Unless you’re the clown or the balloon maker, does it really matter if you don’t go to the party? If you see it as an obligation, bow out lovingly and stay home and rest—ah, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">rest!</i>—instead.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">• <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Also, learn to say yes when your heart guides you to.</b> Be flexible and fun. So what if you “should” (there’s that word again!) stay home and clean? When a good friend invites you to dinner on the spur of the moment, drop everything and go. We rarely regret heart-inspired action!</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">• <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Gently tell the truth.</b> Of course you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, but don’t withhold crucial insights to spare them, either. (“I think you have a drinking problem” may hurt her feelings, but if you believe the words are in her best interests, don’t you have to say them?)</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">• <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Be vulnerable.</b> Show your insecurities. Admit that your house is a wreck, or your marriage is struggling, or you don’t know how to roast the turkey. People will be more willing to open up and be authentic with you because they’ll see that you’re human.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">• <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Allow your friends to be vulnerable, too.</b> Let them feel their feelings. When you argue with them or try to “fix” it for them, you deny the authenticity of their experience.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">• <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">If it makes you uncomfortable, say so.</b> If your friends never bring money to dinner and you always end up paying the tab, confront them (lovingly) with the truth.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">• <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Be sensitive to what is convenient to the other person.</b> Sometimes what’s convenient for you doesn’t work so well for them. (If a busy working mother lets you borrow a hundred dollars in cash, pay her back in cash—don’t write a check. When is she going to have time to get to the bank?)</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">• <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Practice and expect reciprocity.</b> We’re all in different cycles at different times, so this should be measured in terms of years, not weeks or months. However, if you find that a friend seems to only take, limit the time you spend with her.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">• <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">It’s okay not to be “nice.”</b> Real friends would rather you speak your truth than pretend or deny or try to please and impress. Little girls are not sugar and spice and everything nice…and neither are grown women.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">• <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Surround yourself with authentic friends.</b> If you don’t have any, set an intention to find your tribe. Join a reading circle or a knitting group or a hiking club or a food co-op. Volunteer for a cause you’re passionate about. Be open to the people you meet. Likeminded people will find you as if by magic.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">• <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">It doesn’t matter how long you’ve known each other.</b> If the friendship isn’t meeting your needs, move on.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">• <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Lighten the load for someone else when you can.</b> </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">• <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Seize every opportunity to say, “I love you.”</b> One day it will be your last chance.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">AUTHENTIC MARRIAGES/RELATIONSHIPS</span></u></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Truly loving another means letting go of all expectations. It means full </span></i></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">acceptance, even celebration of another’s personhood.</span></i></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">—Karen Casey</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">• <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Ask yourself, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Am I married to the right person…or am I just married?</i></b></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">• <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">State your intention.</b> Do you intend to stay married and make it work? Then do what it takes to make it happen…or get a divorce.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">• <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">End the blame game.</b> If you’re blaming your partner for your unhappiness, you’re denying your own power. We can’t control what others do, but we can control how we respond to it and whether or not we’ll continue to live with it.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">• <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Tell the truth about something you’ve been stewing over.</b> Tell it gently and lovingly, expressing what took place and how you feel: angry or sad or betrayed or conflicted. Make it an “I” statement versus a “You” statement. Own your feelings; they are yours. Then offer a suggestion on how to make the situation work for the both of you. This will turn the focus on a solution and keep you both from getting stuck on the problem. </span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">• <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Rock the boat.</b> It can be good to upset the status quo in your relationship—especially if the status quo is causing seething resentment. Go where <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">you </i>want to go on vacation for a change…or plan an outing with girlfriends on his “golf day”…or paint your office the shade of green that he dislikes (but that you love). Let the chips fall where they may.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">• <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Are you letting your partner live an authentic life?</b> If you’re doing something to manipulate or control him or her, it’s time to stop. When people are allowed to be who they are, they often blossom.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">• <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">It’s usually a mistake to expect people to change lifelong habits that you don’t like.</b> They won’t. And anyway, who are you to insist they change to please you?</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">• <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">It’s not about winning.</b> As the old saying goes, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Would you rather be right or be happy?</i></span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">• <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Have you ever heard it said, “Don’t fight force with force”?</b> It’s a MARTIAL arts principle that can also be a MARITAL arts principle! Sometimes yielding or flowing around the barrier like a river is the best way to get what you need.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">• <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Seize every opportunity to say, “I love you.”</b> One day it will be your last chance.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><u><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">AUTHENTIC PARENTING</span></u></b></div><div align="center" class="MsoNormal" style="text-align: center;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><br />
</span></i><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">A lot of mothers will do anything for their children, except let them be themselves.<br />
</span></i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">—</span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Banksy</span></b><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"></span></i></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">• <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Be as honest with your kids as you possibly can be without upsetting them with information too advanced for their ages.</b> They can handle the truth when it’s expressed lovingly and in an age-appropriate way. Yes, Dad lost his job (but we won’t end up homeless). Yes, the shot will hurt a little (but only for a minute and it will be over).</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">• <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Are you perpetuating the myth of parental perfection?</b> When you screw up, admit that you screwed up. Kids will respect and respond to your honesty.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">• <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Pay attention to your child when he talks.</b> Really listen. Tuning him out or humoring/half-listening sends the message that what he has to say is not important. Believe me, that’s a message he will hear loud and clear.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">• <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Every day, make a sincere effort to truly engage your child.</b> Turn off the TV, walk away from the computer, set aside the bills—and talk. When you don’t make it a priority, days and weeks can go by without a genuine connection…and you wake up one morning to realize you don’t know your own child.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">• Every so often ask your child “What would you like to do today?” </span></b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Then just do it. While you’re throwing the football or having the tea party, don’t zone out and worry about the bills you need to pay or the report you need to write. Be in the moment. Enjoy your child. These days will not last forever.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">• <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Parent from the heart.</b> If it doesn’t feel good to you, it doesn’t matter if it’s what the “experts” swear by. You are you and your child is your child…your intuition will tell you what’s right for both of you.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">• <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Pushing kids to be something they’re not hurts them and you.</b> They need to live their dreams, not yours.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">• <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Look for ways to honor your child’s gifts.</b> Post the short story she wrote on your Facebook account. Or proudly show guests the Lego fort he built in his room. Tell friends (in her presence), “Meghan taught our dog how to sit, stay, and fetch…she has a real gift for connecting with animals!” Acknowledging what makes your child unique helps her shape a strong sense of self. </span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">• <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Be truthful about your child’s shortcomings.</b> Everyone has different strengths. If your child isn’t an academic superstar or a natural athlete, it’s okay. Focus on her strengths rather than trying to hide the truth about what you see as a weakness.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">• <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">With everything you do, narrate the “why.”</b> You’re helping your kids understand that you make the choices you make based on a set of beliefs and values that make you <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">you</i>.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">• <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">You’re not Parent of the Year (whatever that means!) and you never will be.</b> Let yourself off the hook. You might not make it to every school event but there is plenty you do right. Focus on those things instead.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">• <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Let the housework go. </b>The struggle to maintain perfect order at all times is the ultimate denial of who we are: beautifully flawed human beings! Spend the time you would have spent mopping playing with your kids instead.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">• <b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Seize every opportunity to say, “I love you.”</b> One day it will be your last chance.</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Kathleen McIntire is a transformational teacher, speaker, and healer who is dedicated to bringing forth truth, liberation, and awakening. She is the author and creator of <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;"><a href="http://www.guidingsigns101.com/">Guiding Signs 101</a></i>, a set of divination cards and guidebook using everyday road signs to tap into your intuition and own inner guidance. </span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">She is the steward of MoonBear Sanctuary, located on 28 acres in Northern California. The retreat center located there provides cutting-edge workshops as well as ceremonies, study groups, and symposiums. Kathleen, whose focus is on restoring the feminine power, also leads sacred journeys with women. </span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";">Kathleen is the producer of two upcoming Mayan films. The first, <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Mayan Renaissance</i>, is being made by PeaceJam, an international education program for youth built around leading Nobel Peace Laureates. The other film is <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">The Unification of Wisdom and 2012</i>. Visit</span></b><a href="http://www.soaringinlight.com/"> www.soaringinlight.com</a> and <a href="http://www.guidingsigns101.com/">www.guidingsigns101.com</a>. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"> <br />
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</tbody></table>Robin Gorman Newmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06816036736416667540noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38232942.post-39678154284294397632012-02-25T11:36:00.002-08:002012-02-25T11:54:47.694-08:00My Teen Idol by Sharon O'DonnellSometimes things we’ve dreamed about since we were kids can come true, even if you have to wait until middle age -- or later -- for it to happen. Back in the late ‘90s, I had a life-time dream come true when I finally met the teen idol I’d grown up adoring back in the early seventies. There I was at a concert in Myrtle Beach, a 37-year-old married mother of two, my hands shaking with nervousness because I was about to meet Bobby Sherman, the popular singer and actor when I was a pre-teen. I had read about the Teen idol concert featuring Bobby, the Monkees’ Davy Jones, and Peter Noone of Herman’s Hermits on Bobby’s website. <br /> I was new to the Internet at the time and was a bit skeptical of using it until my husband Kevin told me, in hopes of encouraging me to use it, “Hey, I bet there’s even a Bobby Sherman site on there.” A few minutes later, a color photo of Bobby appeared on our computer screen accompanied by the sounds of “Little Woman”, his first hit song. I was immediately transported to my childhood, to the days of going swimming in the outdoor pool at Pullen Park and listening to Bobby’s records over and over with my best friend, Tina. To the days when the Vietnam War filled the nightly news, when drugs and casual sex were becoming ‘hip’; yet, I was protected from it all, cocooned in an innocence that is what childhood should be. My friends and I were aware of the current events, but we did not feel threatened by them. We felt safe, lost in a world of bike riding, spelling tests, and Bobby Sherman songs. He made being good ‘cool’; he was never arrested or in and out of rehab or even said cuss words on stage. I admired Bobby, a guy who in his 20s was suddenly catapulted to fame and fortune but kept a level head and was a good role model to his impressionable fans. As I scanned through the Bobby web page, I read letters from other fans, all remarkably expressing this same feeling: that somehow we wouldn’t have grown up the way we did, become the people we are, if Bobby Sherman had been a different sort of teen idol. I also found out that Bobby was volunteering as a trained emergency medical technician in Los Angeles – something he still does today at the age of 68 -- proving what his fans knew all along: he truly cares about people.<br /> And then I saw the announcement of the Teen Idol Tour concert, and I knew I had to be there. I was destined to see this website and find out about the concert three hours away. My older sister Mary went along for moral support. I managed to obtain a couple of backstage passes to meet Bobby before the concert. Though I had met other famous people before, I had never felt this level of excitement. I think that’s because I had wanted to meet Bobby for so, so long; it was the culmination of a childhood dream. <br /> When I was seven, I sent fan letters to Bobby but knew he couldn’t possibly read them since he received 30,000 letters a week. Then I had an idea I thought was ingenious at the time: knowing that Santa Claus went to everybody’s house, I wrote Bobby a letter and left it on the coffee table beside Santa’s milk and cookies along with a note asking Santa to deliver it (I also left one for Elvis Presley and ‘Rob’ on “My Three Sons”). Of course the letter was never delivered. So when I went to meet Bobby in Myrtle Beach, I took along a copy of that letter plus a newspaper column I wrote once about how grateful I was to Bobby for being such a wholesome teen idol and role model. I had both of these framed, side by side. <br /> As my sister Mary and I waited backstage before the concert, the memories danced in my mind. There was the time in second grade when my mother took Tina and me to Bobby’s concert at Memorial Auditorium in Raleigh. He walked on stage, singing “Hey Mister Sun”, smiling and waving the peace sign while thousands of girls screamed at the top of their lungs. I sat in the balcony in stunned silence, waving the peace sign back to him and not quite believing that Bobby Sherman from the pages of Tiger Beat and the “Here Come the Brides” show was there on stage in front of me. (My mother let us ‘splurge’ and get the $2 color poster of Bobby instead of the $1 black & white.) And when the music stopped and the stage was empty, I remember I felt empty, too, because I knew he would never even know I had been there in the balcony.<br /> Twelve years prior to the Myrtle Beach concert, I actually talked to Bobby on the phone after I had sent his manager some material I had written, and Bobby called to say thank you and that he liked my writing. I’ll never forget the day I came back from lunch to my PR job to find the pink phone message slip on my desk; ‘Bobby Sherman called’ it read. ‘Said he’d call back’. Which he did. When the receptionist realized it was THE Bobby Sherman she just about had to be resuscitated since she had been a big fan, too. Bobby asked me to send him some more of my writing, which I did occasionally, and once he sent me an autographed postcard. He also had given me his mailing address and I'd sometimes send him a Christmas card with photos of my sons. <br /> So as I stood in a small back stage room of the Palace Theatre in Myrtle Beach, waiting with some other thrilled fans to finally meet Bobby, I wondered what I should say to perhaps trigger his memory about our past contact or if I should just start from scratch and introduce myself. I decided to start from scratch since he probably wouldn’t remember me at all. Suddenly, the door to the room opened and in stepped Bobby, dressed in a black shirt and silver pants (strategically tight silver pants, I might add), looking handsome and much younger than his 55 years. I backed up a bit, wanting to be the last fan to meet him, thinking I would have more time with him that way. But he took one look at me and stopped in his tracks.<br /> “I know you,” Bobby said, looking perplexed, trying to figure out how he knew me. <br /> “You do?” I asked, surprised. “I didn’t know if you’d remember or not, but we’ve corresponded before.”<br /> He smiled and nodded in recognition. “I’ve read some of your articles,” he <br />replied. <br /> I turned to Mary, who was nervously taking pictures of Bobby and me. “He <br />remembers!” I squealed, sounding like a starry-eyed groupie more by the moment. Bobby put his arms around my waist and hugged me. Crap, I realized I was taller than he was, and I suddenly felt like an Amazon oaf. I bent my knees so that I’d appear shorter in the photos, although later when I saw the photos, I looked like I had severe posture problems. Oh well. It was still a fabulous moment. If I had only known back in 1971 that one day this would happen.<br /> Later, he made his entrance through the audience of screaming women, stopping to sign autographs on outstretched album covers. He passed by me and smiled. “Have a great show!” I yelled. <br /> He reached over and briefly held my hand. “Thanks, Sharon,” he said. As he launched into one of his hit songs, I felt like I was seven years old again. But this time, I wasn’t sitting in the balcony. And this time, Bobby Sherman knew my name – if only for a night.<br /> Mary, who is eight years older than I am, was never a Bobby fan because her peers were into The Grass Roots and The Doors and Robert Redford. But when I asked her on the drive home, what had been the best part of the trip, which had also included relaxing by the pool and great restaurants, she didn’t hesitate. “Bobby Sherman!” she shouted truthfully, grinning. Ah, yes, a convert.<br /> As the years went by, I still sometimes sent a Christmas card to the address Bobby had so kindly given me in 1986, but I wasn't sure if it was still viable or not since it had been so long and I hadn't heard back from him in a while. But when my childhood friend Tina's 50th birthday approached early this month, I decided to write to the address and ask him a favor: to email or call my friend Tina, a fellow Bobby Sherman fan, for her 50th birthday. I sent the letter, and then didn't think any more about it because I really didn't think the letter would actually reach him. About a week later on Tina's birthday, I was at a movie when my phone vibrated, and I saw I had a text -- probably from one of my sons I thought. Then I noticed it was from Tina. It read, "OMG -- Bobby Sherman!! How do you pull such things off? Best present ever, girlfriend. I'm telling everybody!" I was so excited that Tina had finally received the phone call from Bobby that we used to dream about. And what a guy for following through for me! <br /> My Bobby Sherman lunch box and my issues of Tiger Beat magazine are long gone; but, the memories he gave me are invaluable. In today’s world, the term ‘teen idol’ has been replaced by ‘sex symbol’, a shallow term that doesn’t measure up to the first. It doesn’t bring to mind the same depth of devotion of fans, the same extent of excitement. Bobby was quoted on the web site years ago, saying there aren’t any ‘teen idols’ any more because today’s pre-pubescent girls are too blasé about such things. He said, “Nowadays, you go from birth to puberty – there’s nothing in between.” The same is true for the female celebrities my sons hear about – Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears. I think of how much I learned during that ‘in between’ time, about myself and about life; and, I ache for all those young people out there rushing to grow up.Sharonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08440336441691973938noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38232942.post-38100168407171851882012-02-24T03:00:00.000-08:002012-02-24T03:00:06.882-08:00Cyma Shapiro Chats with Jennifer Powell-Lunder, author, Teenage as a Second Language<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:WordDocument> <w:View>Normal</w:View> <w:Zoom>0</w:Zoom> <w:TrackMoves/> <w:TrackFormatting/> <w:PunctuationKerning/> <w:ValidateAgainstSchemas/> <w:SaveIfXMLInvalid>false</w:SaveIfXMLInvalid> <w:IgnoreMixedContent>false</w:IgnoreMixedContent> <w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText>false</w:AlwaysShowPlaceholderText> <w:DoNotPromoteQF/> <w:LidThemeOther>EN-US</w:LidThemeOther> <w:LidThemeAsian>X-NONE</w:LidThemeAsian> <w:LidThemeComplexScript>X-NONE</w:LidThemeComplexScript> <w:Compatibility> <w:BreakWrappedTables/> <w:SnapToGridInCell/> <w:WrapTextWithPunct/> <w:UseAsianBreakRules/> <w:DontGrowAutofit/> <w:SplitPgBreakAndParaMark/> <w:EnableOpenTypeKerning/> <w:DontFlipMirrorIndents/> <w:OverrideTableStyleHps/> <w:UseFELayout/> </w:Compatibility> <m:mathPr> <m:mathFont m:val="Cambria Math"/> <m:brkBin m:val="before"/> <m:brkBinSub m:val="--"/> <m:smallFrac m:val="off"/> <m:dispDef/> <m:lMargin m:val="0"/> <m:rMargin m:val="0"/> <m:defJc m:val="centerGroup"/> <m:wrapIndent m:val="1440"/> <m:intLim m:val="subSup"/> <m:naryLim m:val="undOvr"/> </m:mathPr></w:WordDocument> </xml><![endif]--><!--[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:LatentStyles DefLockedState="false" DefUnhideWhenUsed="true"
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<div class="MsoNormal"></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><iframe frameborder="0" marginheight="0" marginwidth="0" scrolling="no" src="http://rcm.amazon.com/e/cm?t=welcometolove-20&o=1&p=8&l=as1&asins=B005GNKI5I&ref=tf_til&fc1=000000&IS2=1&lt1=_blank&m=amazon&lc1=0000FF&bc1=000000&bg1=FFFFFF&f=ifr" style="height: 240px; width: 120px;"></iframe></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b>Jennifer, I’m glad I’ve had the opportunity to read your wonderful book. Although my children flank the teenage years, your book had so many wonderful suggestions for how to cut through the daily tensions that I aim to employ many of these techniques right now.</b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Q: Please tell me how you came to write this book.</b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"> <span style="color: #0070c0; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">As a psychologist working with teens and their families on a daily basis a few things were clear: First, that all parents love their children and want to find a way to effectively communicate with them. Secondly, that teens, too, love their parents and want to have positive relationships with them. While teens are using seemingly the same words to communicate with their parents, it is the meaning of these words as well as the context that can result in misunderstanding. While I penned this book, it is really written by the hundreds of teen I have had the opportunity to talk with.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>These teens translated their language for me.</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Q: What kind of teenager were you? What did your parents do about it? Did your early experiences compel you to write this book?</b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #0070c0; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">As a teen I was often in the role of listening to the concerns and dilemma’s of my peers and friends and offering advice. I was a Peer Counselor in high School, In college, at the University of Virginia, I was very involved in the Big Brother Big Sister Program as a volunteer and a Program Coordinator.</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #0070c0; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I had very caring and supportive parents. We communicated well. They were firm but flexible. They were willing to listen to my point of view when I did not agree with their decisions. I guess you could say they modeled well for me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Of course there were the typical teenage disagreements. I think what compelled me to write the book was my early experiences as a confidant and my advice- giving. I guess I was often in the role of a ‘mini psychologist.’ I wanted to help parents not only understand what their teens were saying, but offer them tools<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>to build better communication.</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Q: I know that I’m often reactively angry in many situations, esp. when my children exhibit what I believe are disrespectful behaviors.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Your book consistently outlines calm, diplomatic methods for responding to retorts or when trying to break through certain behavior patterns. How can a parent come to terms with these types of emotions?</b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #0070c0; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">The first step is truly self-awareness. I always tell parents it is easy for me to sit in my chair in my office, but as a parent myself, I rely on my own mindfulness to practice what I preach. As a parent it is important to know when you need to take a moment away from a situation to collect your thoughts and emotions. This takes practice. If you are feeling so overwhelmed or upset by a particular situation, it is also often helpful to step back and ask the co-parent (if there is one) to step in. Kids learn most through observational learning. This is why if you react calmly you gain so much. Your teens are more prone to listen to what you have to say, and you teach them how they should communicate with you and others. Remember, ‘anger begets anger.’</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Q: in many sections, you note that children’s responses are often the result of learned behaviors and daily family-interactions. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>However, as the years pass, more and more children are diagnosed with ADD, OCD, ADHD and a host of other chemical imbalances which don’t often point directly back to the parents or the family. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>What can a parent do if his/her child struggles with these issues, and parental responses don’t change the fundamental dynamics?</b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #0070c0; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Structure and predictability are especially important for these teens.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>This is because internally these kids struggle. Parents should work with their teens to develop a set of boundaries and limits, a.k.a: rules and consequences. The key is to work with your teens to help them feel empowered and own the process which I outline in the book. Consistency is also extremely important. You have to “Say what you mean and mean what you say.” The only person who can control our behavior is ourselves. When parents provide a reliable and consistent environment, they help to shape their children’s behaviors. Because parents may feel especially overwhelmed by their teens if they struggle with an attention or mood disorder, it is not uncommon to give in to demands in the moment to quell the emotional response. In the long run however, this can contribute to future conflicts. </span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Q: <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As I often write, new older mothers grapple with many other external issues not endemic to younger mothers – peri-menopause, aging parents, blended stepfamilies. What specific advice do you have for these mothers when it comes to the additional challenge of dealing with teenagers and this age group?</b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #0070c0; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">I think older moms have time on their side. They have lived more of life and have access to a whole host of wisdom and experiences younger moms do not have. That being said, it is important to be mindful of any limitations and work around them. If for example, you feel that your frustration tolerance is lower, awareness will allow you to step back from a situation in order to avoid conflict. Regarding blended families it is important that both teens and parents have a clear understanding of roles (e.g. does a step-parent have the same authority to parent as the parent). Conflicts in these situations often arise when there is a lack of consistency regarding roles and no or inconsistent rules. Older parents can also create opportunities to connect with their teens on a different level. If for example, you are not as savvy or up to date with the latest social networking technology, learn from your teens. By allowing them to teach you, you not only empower them, you create an opportunity to spend valuable time with them which is sure to enhance your relationship.</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Q: Sometimes I see<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>what I believe are “perfect kids” in a “perfect family.” Although many times appearances are not what they seem, sometimes these kids are, indeed, smart, well-balanced, emotionally sound, with inherently high self-esteem – all things which make growing pains more palatable. What do you attribute this to? What advice do you offer these types of emotionally balanced families who have a troubled teen?</b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #0070c0; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">In general, the world has become a more complicated place. This means that our teens are faced with a multitude of pressures and challenges. It goes without saying that no one is perfect. Adolescence is about the search for identity, trying on different roles. Teens face pressure and controversy no matter how well adjusted they present (themselves to be). As a parent, it is important to be involved , flexible, yet consistent. Research reflects the importance of monitoring your teens’ behaviors even if they are “good kids.” In fact, when teens believe they are being monitored they are less likely to engage in high risk behaviors. Permissive parenting is the style of parenting most associated with teens engaging in higher risk behaviors such as substance abuse and promiscuity. It is also important for parents to be aware of ‘red flag behaviors’ which may include: changes in sleep or eating habits, changes in outward appearances, changes in peer group (i.e. do you suddenly not have a clue with whom your teen is friends?), changes in academic performance and/or school attendance, lower motivation to do things previously enjoyed, etc. Sometimes these changes can be subtle at first. Go with your gut, if you feel something may be off, it probably it is. It is important to sit down with your teen and discuss your concerns in an interactive manner. Talk with them, not at them.</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Q: In your chapter on “Independence,” you write the following, “In <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Teenage,</i> the difference translates like this: You promote autonomy by encouraging your teens to negotiate the world at large. This entails providing structure, support and guidelines on how to proceed…You promote independence while you encourage your teens to negotiate the world on their own….Your teens are supported in trying new things and managing situations on their own. If your teens experience you are too controlling, blaming or even rejecting they are at higher risk for difficulties including alcohol and substance abuse, eating, disorders, etc.” This would be eye-opening to many Type-A women who have succeeded professionally through control and order. In reality, they are, like me, just trying to combine a successful career with successful older Mommyhood; trying to draw from past experiences when faced with an ever-changing new world. Can you speak about this dilemma?</b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #0070c0; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Parenting is about balance. Too much or too little control can result in concerning consequences. It is important to parent in a firm yet flexible manner. You need to work with your teen. Most important, you need to stop and really listen to what they have to say. When you talk at them, they tend to shut down. You are your teen’s best role model. They learn most from what you do, not necessarily what you say. If you are a successful person, the lessons you are teaching your teen are invaluable. What you are alluding to above, is that I highlight the difference between promoting autonomy and independence. Autonomy is about encouraging your teens to step out of the nest but ensuring their understanding that you are there to provide support and guidance when needed. Independence, is defined as pushing them out of the nest. It is important to encourage autonomy first.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As parents we can not do it for them (although at times we may want to). If you consistently communicate with your teen and work together to set up limits and boundaries you provide the best opportunity for a strong communicative relationship with your teen. Sometimes they do need to fall in order to learn better how to fly. As parent, your role is to be there to catch them. If you fly for them, they will not learn how to do it themselves.</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Q: So much of what you clearly and repeatedly identify through body language and nonverbal cues, with simplistic, clear directives on how to respond to these, would require us to relax and stop moving long enough to “catch” these many clues. Drawing from the question above, how can we be effective with this information if we, as parents, already feel we have too much on our plate(s)?</b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #0070c0; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Ah, you answered your own question! Stop moving, stop multitasking! While you may be able to do several things at once, your teens do not see it that the way. I learned this from my own kids. Typing on the computer and talking with them, sends the message that I am not fully attending! A few moments of your undivided attention will not only provide you with the opportunity to pick up on these important nonverbal cues but, it will send your teens an invaluable message, you always have time for them no matter what!</span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Q: What do you think is the most common mistake parents make when dealing with teenagers?</b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #0070c0; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt;">Parenting to extremes,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>too controlling or too permissive. Everything in moderation should be the mantra. </span></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Q: Finally, what is the single best advice you can offer families or parents with teenagers?</b></div><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"><span style="color: #0070c0; font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14.0pt; line-height: 115%; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-font-size: 11.0pt; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">Two things: Focus on what you can do, not on what you can’t. Parenting is<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>about interaction not reaction</span></b>Robin Gorman Newmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06816036736416667540noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38232942.post-66112222727125919752012-02-23T03:33:00.005-08:002012-02-23T03:45:22.581-08:00Information Gathering...by LiimuTo some, it may look like I'm not doing anything. And in a certain sense, they'd be right. I'm not enduring punishing workouts in the gym. I'm not counting every calorie that goes in my mouth. I'm not weighing and measuring my food. I'm not eliminating sugar, carbs or fat from my diet.<br /><br />I'm focused on intuitive eating and so most of what's happening is in my own mind. I'm focusing on eating what my body wants, when it wants it, honoring its cues of when I'm hungry and perhaps even more challenging, when it is full. (Still working on that one, if I'm being honest.) I'm finding new ways to exercise, including dancing with my kids, like last night, long walks in the park, Zumba, kickboxing and spinning. I still love running, so I signed up for Broad Street - I consider myself one of the lucky ones as it sold out in a record-breaking five hours this year - but I'm totally open to walk/running it rather than feeling like I'm a failure if I don't run or jog every step.<br /><br />What's perhaps even more important about this phase of my journey is that I'm gathering tons of information and processing it all, applying it when it feels pertinent. I went back to my holistic doctor, <a href="http://www.c4oh.org">Dr. Michael Cheiken</a>, and he ordered labwork to test for every imaginable vitamin deficiency or metabolic disorder. Twenty-three vials of blood in all. I've been finding incredibly interesting articles and eBooks on the internet, and I've talked to tons of people who have made this journey and been successful at achieving and maintaining their ideal weight through intuitive eating. Here are some of the things that seem to be important recurring themes, across all my conversations and reading:<br /><br />1. Stress is a huge obstacle in weight loss and being generally healthy, so I mostly need to just CHILL OUT and trust the process<br /><br />2. Statistically, it is a proven fact that dieting has a 98% failure rate and if it were a medical practice, it would be banned. It continues to thrive essentially due to the 68 billion dollar industry that profits as a result of its continuation.<br /><br />3. There are real obstacles at play, related to my age and having just recently had a baby, but most of them are in my own head.<br /><br />4. I will likely be successful in my efforts but it could take awhile for me to achieve my ideal weight and even longer for my head to really be healed from all the years of yo-yo dieting.<br /><br />I have to say that learning all these things, hearing them from people I respect and admire (and people who aren't afraid to tell me things I might not want to hear) had a surprising effect on me. In my heart, I felt relieved and happy, much the way I felt when I was told I would need to abstain from a drink one day at a time for the rest of my life. It's not an easy path, but it feels a whole lot easier than the one I was on.<br /><br />I will continue to share with you guys my progress. I am loving this life I've been blessed with and am so excited for the newest leg of the journey.Liimuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16500191546997263087noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38232942.post-78727847267772489912012-02-22T03:00:00.000-08:002012-02-22T03:00:12.486-08:00Doing the Right Thing - by Cara Potapshyn Meyers<div style="font: 12.0px Georgia; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I always try to be a good role model for my son. As an example, around the Holidays, I received a package in the mail with a return address of a company I recently made a purchase from. I ripped open the package to find four X-box games inside. Because I don’t own an X-Box, I knew something was wrong. Sure enough, the previous owners of our house didn’t give this company their new address, therefore my address was still in their data base. </span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Georgia; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Georgia; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">My son was so excited to see those games because although we don’t own an X-Box, a few of his friends do. I told him that I was going to send them to the person who bought them. He asked why. I replied, “If you spent $50 on something you were looking forward to receiving, would you like it if your purchase went to someone else’s home and they kept it for themselves?” He sheepishly said no. So I explained that by sending the games to their rightful owner, it is called, “Doing the Right Thing.” I followed it by saying that although trying to get away with something may feel exciting at the moment, in the end, you probably will feel guilty and ashamed. When you feel that way, you know inside that you didn’t “Do the Right Thing.”</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Georgia; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Georgia; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Fast forward to this past month. I mentioned in a previous blog that my son graduated to a higher belt level in karate. He was the youngest and smallest person in his class.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Georgia; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">This particular karate school does something called sparring. The kids wear protective gear from head to toe with the exception of legs and arms exposed. This was the first time my son was sparring at this higher level. All of the other kids in his class were older, taller and bigger than my son. As sparring began, I noticed first that my son’s opponents were not sparring to perfect technique, they were sparring aggressively and to purposely injure. My son got kicked in his head five times during one match, staggering as he struggled to get up. I mouthed to him, “Do you want to leave?,” he shook his head no, but once the sparring was over, a Mom doctor came over and sat with us for well over an hour hydrating my son, giving him food. When he finally got up and began practicing karate kicks, she said it was probably unlikely that he had a concussion but to look out for warning signs the rest of that evening and into the next day. My son was acting fine.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Georgia; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Georgia; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">This past Friday, my son had sparring at karate again. I said to my son as we were driving there, “Honey, you don’t have to go if you don’t want to.” He said he wanted to try to spar once more. I asked him if I felt he was being injured, would he be upset with me if I called him off the mat. He said no. The ground rules were laid. I was planning on sitting front row, center.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Georgia; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Georgia; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">The first sparring round, my son got knocked to the floor but got right up and continued sparring. He then had a break. When it was his turn again, he was up against a much bigger, aggressive type kid. My eyes were glued. I never blinked. My son got kicked to the head. He slowly got up. He continued to spar. He got kicked in the head again. This time, it took more effort for him to get up. He wanted to continue. Whack! A third kick to the head. I stood up and said, “My son needs time out! He can hardly stand!” The instructor reluctantly called over another kid. I slid over to where my son was seated on the mat and said, “You are drained of energy, tired and hurting. Do you want to get off the mat and stop sparring?” He said he wanted to try one more match. My insides were cringing but I had a strong feeling that I was going to make this stop.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Georgia; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Georgia; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">My son got up to spar again. He got punched to his arm so badly, it started to bleed. He got hit in the stomach right under the protective padding. He doubled over in pain. Finally he got hit in the throat and kicked in the head. He was on the mat, in a ball, crying. I screamed, “Stop! This is over!!,” and ran to help carry/walk my son off the mat. The Mom doctor was there and she carefully helped get his headgear off and again examined my son for signs of a head injury and felt his ribs and neck area. Again, she said to keep an eye on him. I assured her I would. Once my son stopped crying and hugging me, my son said, “I don’t ever want to come back.” I told him that he didn’t have to do anything in life that made him feel abused or hurt in any way. We left.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Georgia; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Georgia; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">The next day my son said he was sore but felt fine. I had him try to rest as much as possible. We had a heart to heart talk about what happened the night before. I asked him if he still felt that he didn’t want to attend that karate school anymore. He replied, “yes.” I asked him how that made him feel. He said he felt really relieved and really good. I explained to him that any time he is faced with a situation that doesn’t make him feel good inside, he can walk away. And if he feels much better inside after he walked away, then he knows he made the right decision. In this case, besides peer pressure, besides being elated at his higher belt ranking, besides not seeing casual friends each week, he chose to walk away from being beat up. I honor him. How many adults could just walk away? I told him several times, how brave I thought he was, how mature, how glad I was that HE felt he made the right decision. When I stated that my son is more of a man than my husband is in a previous blog, I wasn’t embellishing at all.</span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Georgia; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Georgia; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Now to today. In my blog called, Everyone Has Stress, I knew I had to make amends to a friend I referred to in that blog. I had to, “Do the Right Thing.” Both my friend and I have a truck-load of stress. When I first saw her today, I gave her a big hug because I knew she really needed one. As we sat and talked, something dawned on me. I had gone through the same or similar stressful scenarios in my life, just as she was experiencing. The difference was that in my life, my same stressful situations came one after another. They were not all clumped together on top of each other at the same time. The more I thought about my past and all of the stress I’ve endured, it’s been more than most people will have experienced in a lifetime. However my events gave me small gaps of reprieve to “repair” myself. This poor friend has it poured on like wet cement and she is desperately trying to find her way out. </span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Georgia; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px; min-height: 14.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></span></div><div style="font: 12.0px Georgia; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I’ve been going through intense stress for two and one-half years now, with more years to come. I was drained completely a year and a half ago. I am literally existing on fumes. I can’t compare what I am facing with what my friend is facing because I am not walking in her shoes and vise versa. But I <i>can</i> imagine that hers is quite comparable to mine. What I do know is that I had to “Do the Right Thing” and make amends. My poor, stressed out friend, I am truly sorry. I hope you accepted my hug in friendship and with warmth. And I hope we both “Do the Right Thing” and will always try to be there for one another, even if just in thought and kind messages. I sincerely apologize. Let’s be stressed out friends <i>together</i>!</span></span></div>Cara Meyershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05929269041124368708noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38232942.post-12789767044462615262012-02-21T03:00:00.000-08:002012-02-21T03:00:03.340-08:00A Winter Drought - by Margaret Hart<div style="font: 11.0px Georgia; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 10.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">According to the weather forecasters, we're experiencing a winter drought in New England. This is a first in my recent memory. And I, for one, am not upset about it. I don't miss the snow, sleet, ice, and piles of frozen dirt all over the roadways and parking lots (not to mention my car). I am happy that we've only had seven inches of snow this winter. Old man winter, you can keep the snow; I am ready for spring!</span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Georgia; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 10.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">It doesn't seem to bother the kids that there hasn't been a lot of snow this winter; at least the kids I know. My son and his friends seem very happy to have fifty degree days where they can ride their bikes and not have to be weighed down by heavy coats, boots, hats, scarves and mittens. </span></span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Georgia; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 10.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">My son, while born in the wintertime, is not a winter baby. He isn't big into skating or skiing, but he does enjoy sledding, and I had hoped to hit the slopes with him a few times this winter, but it doesn't look promising. And now that I've said this we'll probably get a huge snow storm next week. But that's okay. I am grateful for the winter of sunshine and warmer temperatures. And I know he is, too. This past weekend he spent almost an entire afternoon outdoors, hiking through the woods, climbing trees and rocks, riding bikes and having a great time with his friends. </span></span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Georgia; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 10.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Having grown up in the suburbs of Syracuse, New York, I experienced some nasty Nor'easters and a lot of lake effect snow. But not even the meanest snowstroms held us back from carrying on with our daily lives. I don't recall my parents ever losing power. And the plows cleared the roads like clockwork. We were never stranded. We drove everywhere. In fact, I can remember one time when my girlfriends and I all piled into our friend's parents Chevy, and slid some twenty miles on the local highway during a snow storm to a nightclub across town. It was ladies night. I don't know why our parents allowed us to go out; maybe they didn't know!</span></span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Georgia; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 10.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Living in New England, I have shrugged my shoulders more than once when the weather forecasters talk about snow storms and predict heavy snow fall of up to six or eight inches. It makes me laugh when people rush to the grocery store to stock up on food items, as if they think they will be stranded in their homes for weeks. And the plows just don't seem to know how to plow the roads. </span></span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Georgia; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 10.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I am already in springtime mode. And I'm not the only one. The birds are chirping as if they are happy, too, that this winter has been mild, and spring is just a few weeks away. The daffodils in my garden are happily peeking through t he ground, anxious to extend their stems and bloom. I'm ready to put away all our winter coats and boots, and break out our flip flops. </span></span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Georgia; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 10.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">If spring comes early this year, I promise not to complain if it rains a lot to make up for the so-called winter drought. After all, April showers bring May flowers. </span></span></div>Cara Meyershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05929269041124368708noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38232942.post-25692699686652413692012-02-20T02:54:00.000-08:002012-02-20T02:54:00.302-08:00A Balancing Act—by Jamie LevineThe other day, I observed some children playing Jenga, and watched them for awhile, completely mesmerized. If you’re unfamiliar with Jenga, it’s a stacking game. Each player takes a wooden block and piles it on top of the others to build a tower; the goal is to keep the overloaded tower from toppling over. At the risk of sounding melodramatic, this game reminded me of my life.<br /><br />Being a mom is a lot of work. Being a single mom is even more work. And being a part-time freelance writer/full-time graduate student/single mom requires the most work of all. Ever since the birth of my daughter almost five years ago, my life has been a juggling act, but lately I feel like I’m completely overloaded—and with just one poorly-executed move, everything might topple over. <br /><br />Last semester, my first in graduate school, was a bit stressful for me, but I successfully attained a 4.0. This semester, I’ve taken on an extra Education class (a prerequisite if I want to work in a school setting, upon graduation), as well as started working in the clinic, and now have seven clients: one adult, and a group of six preschoolers. While the work, itself, is interesting and rewarding, the preparation and paperwork is overwhelming. Not only am I expected to map out complete session plans and formulate short-term and long-term goals for my clients, but I need to explicitly write up the session results, fill out detailed early intervention forms for my kids, and meet with my supervisors weekly. That, on top of my regular class work and freelance work, and every morning, afternoon, and weekend spent entertaining my daughter (not to mention the time I spend at the gym, food shopping and running errands) has me pretty tapped out. <br /><br />This entire week, Jayda is home on winter break, but <em>my </em>classes and therapy sessions don’t stop. I’ve already resigned myself to working late every night since my days—when I’m not at school or the clinic—are consumed with play dates. But I’ve neglected to factor in exhaustion…and the fact that I might want to get to bed before 11 p.m. Not likely. And forget about having a social life. There’s no chance of me getting out again any time soon. Yes, I’m feeling a little sorry for myself. But most importantly, I’m worried. If just one thing in my meticulously scheduled life falls out of place or doesn’t get done appropriately, I fear that everything else will topple over. <br /><br />My parents often berate me for being such a stickler when it comes to getting my daughter to bed on time. She often cries and begs for more TV-time or playtime, and does everything she can to avoid going upstairs to her room. But I consistently rush her through her evening activities and get her up to bed on time so we can read and cuddle, and, as she fights me, I can force her to close her eyes. Bedtime is often a battle…but it’s a means to an ends. Most importantly, my daughter needs her rest…but just as importantly, I need my nights—every minute of them. My daughter has to be asleep by 8 o’clock—so I have enough time to finish my work. <br /><br />Sometimes it seems that just when I think I can’t handle any more work or stress, life throws another challenge at me…and somehow I overcome it. Next year, I’ll have externships to contend with—on top of my schoolwork—and I know I’ll somehow get though that, too. But sometimes, in the moment, it’s hard to believe I’m going to get everything done…without collapsing. Here’s hoping that, just like in a good game of Jenga, I keep balancing everything, stand tall and proud, and come out a winner.Jamie Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00649348422773054993noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38232942.post-31536353014735179472012-02-19T08:18:00.000-08:002012-02-19T08:18:22.070-08:00ROBIN'S SHOW REVIEW and RECOMMENDATION: playtime! Creative Childcare; Assistance off bway<div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">Are you a theatre lover who longs for a moms night out or a date night, and securing competent childcare is pricey or challenging to find? Enter playtime! I just learned of this new, cool NYC service, and while I have yet to take advantage of it, it's on my cultural radar as a must-try for the future.</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: small;">.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3NtKyCj7bQbvJYMJuwmU266ptdoHBiPPZanQlv2S8y2AelV_efb7sqOrLjp0_mv_NuaqGRGSZRl4THy-WS9M-z9nPAksKgUdEYUYUCGB-B8bpE0XcvBaTXFBbq9_Em9-UxTI/s1600/playtimeBanner_150x150.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3NtKyCj7bQbvJYMJuwmU266ptdoHBiPPZanQlv2S8y2AelV_efb7sqOrLjp0_mv_NuaqGRGSZRl4THy-WS9M-z9nPAksKgUdEYUYUCGB-B8bpE0XcvBaTXFBbq9_Em9-UxTI/s1600/playtimeBanner_150x150.jpg" /></a></span></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Playtime! is the first program to provide childcare during theatrical shows in NYC. The inaugural Playtime! event took place in the Spring of 2011, after crucial funding from the Theater Sub-district Council and a partnership with Sitters Studio allowed Playwrights Horizons Managing Director Leslie Marcus to make this long-time dream a reality.</span></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Marcus, who is a mom, and Playwrights Horizons staff members realized that the combined cost of theater tickets and childcare is the factor most often cited by people with young children as the reason they rarely attend the theater. Playtime! was established to bring parents back to the theater by providing excellent childcare at (or steps from) the theater at an extremely affordable rate. The service is available to any type of ticket buyer for participating shows, regardless of the price paid for the ticket, and is just $15 per child. Sitters Studio is fully bonded and insured, and their rigorous background checks and training ensure that they provide not only an artistic and fun experience for children, but also one that complies with top-notch safety standards.</span></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">The hope is that this program will become a model for other performing arts organizations. In August of 2011, the Westside Theatre (current shows: Love, Loss, and What I Wore and Rated P for Parenthood) and Signature Theatre Company joined with Playwrights Horizons, allowing their patrons to participate in Playtime! as well. More venues and companies will be joining soon.</span></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Currently, Playtime! is available for children ages 4-12 and mostly takes place during weekend performances.</span></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Available Shows at Present:</span></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Playwrights Horizons: ASSISTANCE, THE BIG MEAL</span></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Signature: BLOOD KNOT, HURT VILLAGE, THE LADY FROM DUBUQUE</span></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Westside: LOVE LOSS AND WHAT I WORE, RATED P</span></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Visit<a href="http://www.playtimenyc.org/"> PLAYTIME</a> online or contact Emily at playtime@PlaytimeNYC.org. You can also call (212) 564-1235, ext. 3153 (M-F, 10a-6p).</span></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I recently had the opportunity to see ASSISTANCE at Playwrights Horizons Mainstage Theatre, 416 West 42nd Street. </span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeyUds88Xm1fQSY6wv6jAOy3T224-DomoTQ32y3F47VU-4FbzQlbI5PfpXKrSFG64voJXQstzE8OFn3hstx_YJkdhh-IGy2KmbgflhSgHAjUr-KNHCajIjEp246Ua-D5GrNHE/s1600/ASSISTANCE+LOGO.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeyUds88Xm1fQSY6wv6jAOy3T224-DomoTQ32y3F47VU-4FbzQlbI5PfpXKrSFG64voJXQstzE8OFn3hstx_YJkdhh-IGy2KmbgflhSgHAjUr-KNHCajIjEp246Ua-D5GrNHE/s200/ASSISTANCE+LOGO.jpg" width="151" /></a></div><h5 style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin-left: 0.5in; text-align: justify;"></h5><h5 style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; margin-left: 0.5in; text-align: justify;"></h5><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">Written by Leslye Headland, the play features a talented young cast including Michael Esper (The Lyons), Sue Jean Kim (The Drunken City), Virginia Kull (Man and Boy), Lucas Near-Verbrugghe (Bloody Bloody Andrew Jackson), Amy Rosoff (Boardwalk Empire) and Bobby Steggert (Tony Award nomination - Ragtime).</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">For these young assistants, life is an endless series of humiliations at the hands of a hellacious boss, a powerful uber-magnate. In rare moments of calm when the phone stops rolling, Nick and Nora and their traumatized co-workers question whether all their work will lead to success -- or just more work. Directed by Trip Cullman, this play will ring true for anyone who has ever yearned to climb the corporate ladder, feeling like they are selling their would to the devil along the way.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">We never find out the type of business being served, nor do we meet the CEO, but we can relate to the drive of the young people desperate to get ahead. And, if you happen to be a mom who has left corporate America by choice, you are all the more grateful that the boss in your life is your child who at least warms your heart by the end of a multi-tasking day. </span><span style="font-size: small;"><br />
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</span></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: left;"><span style="font-size: small;">DISCOUNT OFFER: Order by February 21, and use and use code PlayAsstBlog, and tickets are $40 (regularly $70). Visit <a href="http://www.ticketcentral.com/">www.TicketCentral.com</a> or <a href="http://www.playwrightshorizons.org/mainstage">www.playwrightshorizons.org/mainstage.</a> </span></div><div style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; text-align: left;"><br />
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</tbody></table><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div>Robin Gorman Newmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06816036736416667540noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38232942.post-77168184053160654292012-02-19T03:00:00.001-08:002012-02-19T03:00:05.843-08:00I Am Just Plain Tired by Leta Hamilton<div class="MsoNormal"><b>How to beat the too-tired blues.......</b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Listening to the radio this morning, the woman being interviewed said that we think, on average, around 68,000 thoughts per day and that over 80% of those thoughts were negative. For a mom, my guess is that half of those thoughts center one theme: I’m tired. Because we are tired, our patience levels are lower, our tempers are shorter, our appetites for carb-laden foods is greater, our sense of humor takes a beating and life is just not as much fun. But there is a way to beat those too-tired blues. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Here is my method:</div><div class="MsoNormal">First of all, I know what I am. In the book <i style="mso-bidi-font-style: normal;">Brain Rules </i>by John Medina, he writes a whole chapter on sleep. He describes the different sleeping patterns to which humans adhere. There are “early birds” and “night owls” and a range of patterns in between. The important thing is to understand where you fit in to the scale of early/late risers. With that knowledge, you can more proactively establish your own sleeping schedule that matches what your body instinctively needs. After reading this book, I gave myself permission to go to bed earlier and rise earlier because I was able to confirm to myself that I am an early bird and I do not have to feel guilty for going to bed at 9pm every night. Now, I get the sleep my body wants.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">With this change in my sleeping patterns, I have been able to rise earlier and have a bit of time to myself in the morning before the kids wake up. Even with four kids, I am still averaging around an hour to myself in the morning before they wake up. This “me time” has made a huge difference in the overall mood of the day. Things just work smoother when I am rested AND have had that time for my morning coffee with no interruptions between 5:30 and 6:30am.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">I use my car for resting. When the kids are sleeping in the car, I rest too. Sometimes I sit in my driveway for an hour or more just lying in the front seat with my eyes closed. It is an irreplaceable opportunity to use the excuse of their sleeping to have some enforced downtime. I can choose to rest, read a book (always have one handy) or check messages on my phone. Whatever it is, my car time is a treasured part of my week.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">There is exercise in my life. It isn’t much, but it is scheduled. With an infant, I am spending around 30 minutes each evening walking around the neighborhood. It’s about as long as my husband can supervise a baby that isn’t on the bottle yet. With this time, I move my body and clear my head. Its therapeutic benefits cannot be overemphasized. And, because I do it in the evening, I am finding I sleep better.</div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">Lastly, I give myself the privilege of child-free time in which to accomplish some things that just aren’t easy with kids around. That way, I finish personal projects that have little to do with children. The trade off is we spend a certain amount on childcare every month, but my sanity is saved. Having uninterrupted time in which to write my articles, check my emails and order my groceries online is worth the money we pay in babysitting. It also allows me to recoup some of that expense through doing things that add to the household income. </div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal">There may be things that you do to beat the too-tired blues. I would love to hear them. Share them at <a href="http://www.thewayofthetoddler.com/">www.thewayofthetoddler.com</a>. Until next month, happy sleeping.</div>Robin Gorman Newmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06816036736416667540noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38232942.post-39249201224510579052012-02-18T13:00:00.001-08:002012-02-18T13:00:04.326-08:00Expressing the Inexpressible by Sharon O'DonnellA few days after the death of Elvis Presley, my good friend Tina and I went to an Elvis movie marathon at a local theater. It was 1977, and we had recently junior high, a rough span in which our childhood friendship had suffered somewhat as we both spread our wings and made new friends. But there we were -- sharing this together, as corny as some of our other 'friends' might have thought of it -- because we used to love to play Elvis records and watch his movies. Even though Bobby Sherman was the teen idol who had stolen our heart, there was still room for an older Elvis because we recognized pure talent when we saw it and heard it. So we turned to each other when he died because we knew the other one would understand the sense of loss each of us felt. I'd felt so bad that fame had made Elvis a prisoner of sorts in his own home and he'd taken prescription drugs to deal with it all. He'd had that something special, and the world clamored for it, and in the process, we trampled right over Elvis, the human being. I remember how empty I'd felt, how I wrote an entry in a journal the night he died, trying unsuccessfully to express what I felt.<br /><br />Whitney Houston had that something special too. Her voice singing "I'll Always Love You" expressed for me what I would want to sing to a certain young many I dated in my college years but had to say good-bye to. I'd actually discovered that song when Dolly Parton wrote and released it a few years earlier, and I had the 45 spd. record. And it was good. But when Whitney sang those words and breathed her own emotion into them . . . well, everyone who heard it thought of someone from their past who they had to say good-bye to also and this song -- became the anthem for those experiences in our lives. I'd forgotten that her fantastic rendition of the national anthem at the Super Bowl took place in 1991 during the first week of the first Gulf War, and that it wasn't just about a beautiful voice but about the emotion and pride in that beautiful voice that was so evident to all. A rallying cry for the nation. I recorded it the other night along with a report about the war that put in all in context, so I can play it back for my sons to see, for my sons to feel. Whitney at her best, Whitney sharing her love for her country, Whitney brimming with confidence that comes from somewhere deep inside as well as from, I believe, a higher being. Whitney. <br /><br />And yet it is another sad ending. Elvis, Michael, and now Whitney. Yes, this certainly says there is a huge drug and alcohol problem that is running rampant in our society today. But this also says to me, that these souls who yearned to express their innermost feelings through their tremendous talent, perhaps fell short because life and reality could never be what they wanted it to be in their souls, in their visions of what life should be. They made mistakes and bad decisions. But under it all, I believe, was their innate desire to express the inexpressible. It is an emptiness I've felt as a writer and yes -- as a mother, a void I've tried to fill but can't. It's impossible to attain that kind of communication and harmony and connection very often. Every now and then some musical notes can capture it briefly.<br />And then it's back to reality. Reality is a tough place. <br /><br />There was a time for each of them before reality affected them as it did. It is that time we should remember -- their pure ideals of wanting to stand there on the stage and make us FEEL what they were feeling through their music. That they did.<br /><br />And that they always will.Sharonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08440336441691973938noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38232942.post-84618560959338669472012-02-17T03:00:00.000-08:002012-02-17T03:00:14.074-08:00ROBIN'S SHOW REVIEW: BRAZIL! BRAZIL!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgY7aDnSYVO00SPfoqdDXaFZJRf-KRCiAkTEohFAS4eZTsPy_fk_LaR4YVva4jO3FmWGxb_d42DBa_cN4OjYDQiOoYaQ7DutvEICOGEoWClNuOtN14FRbA_0JHDgrvQeBJTW0/s1600/brazil.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="120" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgY7aDnSYVO00SPfoqdDXaFZJRf-KRCiAkTEohFAS4eZTsPy_fk_LaR4YVva4jO3FmWGxb_d42DBa_cN4OjYDQiOoYaQ7DutvEICOGEoWClNuOtN14FRbA_0JHDgrvQeBJTW0/s320/brazil.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />
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<div align="center" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 16pt;">The New Victory Theater Presents</span></b></div><div align="center" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 14pt;">World Stage Productions and Broadway Asia International LLC</span></b></div><div align="center" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: center;"><b><i><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 20pt;">BRAZIL! BRAZIL!</span></i></b></div><div align="center" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div align="center" style="margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin: 0in; text-align: center;"><b><u><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 18pt;">U.S. Premiere</span></u><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 9pt;"> </span></b></div><div align="center" style="margin: 0in 0in 0.0001pt; text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif"; font-size: 18pt;"><br />
</span></b></div><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif";">From Salvador da Bahia, Brazil, comes <b><i>Brazil! Brazil!,</i></b><i> </i>a show that blends the rhythms of Rio Carnaval with capoeira, acrobatics, live samba and soccer-inspired street dance to celebrate the country’s history, culture, and indomitable spirit if its people. </span><br />
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<b><i><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif";">Brazil! Brazil! </span></i></b><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif";">has been featured at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe as a sell-out performance for two consecutive seasons, showcasing many of Brazil’s leading singers, musicians, dancers and songwriters. With a cast of 15 performers, all of whom are from the favelas of Salvador, <b><i>Brazil! Brazil!</i></b> uses music, capoeira and dance to share their inspirational journey from the streets of Salvador to the stage. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif";"><i><b>Brazil! Brazil!</b></i> is directed by Toby Gough. Choreography is by Marcos Santana, Costume Design is by Fabio Toblini, Scenic Elements and Prop Design is by Faye Armon, Sound Design is by Sam Kusnetz, Lighting Design is by Ryan O’Gara, Video Design is by trackingprod and Original Music is by Rhythm Carnival. </span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif";">Performers include: Gianne Abbott, Igor Alisson, Mickey Beigi, Ananias, John Farnworth, Paloma Gomes, Jonathas, Jai Bispo, Arthur Mansilla, Pururu Mao No Couro, Carlinhos Pajeú, Tedy Santana, Marcelo Santolis, Kiko Souza and André Tigáná.</span><br />
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<b><i><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif";">Brazil! Brazil!</span></i></b><span style="font-family: "Calibri","sans-serif";"> is recommended for everyone over the age of 5, according to New Victory Theatre. It is high octane production, and my son particularly liked it when the oversized inflatable soccer balls were bounced around the audience. The acrobatics are impressive, and while some of the musical numbers were on the sexy/sultry side, they captured the spirit and passion of Brazil and showcased the raw talent and energy of performers. </span><br />
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<div class="MsoNormal"><b><u><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Performance Schedule</span></u></b></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Fri Feb 17 7pm</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Sat Feb 18 2pm, 7pm</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Sun Feb 19 12pm, 5pm</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Wed Feb 22 2pm</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Thu Feb 23 7pm</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Fri Feb 24 7pm</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Sat Feb 25 2pm, 7pm</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Sun Feb 26 12pm, 5pm</span></div><div class="MsoNormal"><br />
</div><div class="MsoNormal"><b><u><span style="font-size: 12pt;">General Ticket Information</span></u></b></div><div class="MsoHeader"><span style="font-size: 12pt;">Tickets for <b><i>Brazil! Brazil!</i><i> </i></b>at The New Victory Theater (209 West 42<sup>nd</sup> Street)<b> </b>cost $25, $18, $12 and $9 for Members and $38, $28, $18 and $14 for Non-members based on seat locations. To purchase tickets online, visit <a href="http://newvictory.org/">NewVictory.org</a>, and to purchase by phone, call 646-223-3010. It is running through February 26th.</span></div>Robin Gorman Newmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06816036736416667540noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38232942.post-41857227934597283222012-02-16T15:46:00.000-08:002012-02-16T15:53:14.015-08:00Time to Get Moving...by LiimuBetter late than never, I suppose. <br /><br />With four kids you'd think I would have no trouble staying active. Fact is, I am so exhausted most of the time, it is easy to convince myself to forego the gym. I can no longer deny it, though. I have to get moving. <br /><br />I recently injured my Achilles, so i have to be more creative about how to get my workouts in (no running for now) What's more, I am fed up with boring gym workouts so I have found a bunch of fun new ways to get active, including:<br /><br />- Walking, occasionally uphill. My 9-year old just started running so this is something we can do together. Bonus!<br />- Spinning. Great workout and hey, it's different. <br />- TRX. I'm a little intimidated since it uses body weight and I am maxed out in that department, but I am nothing if not courageous<br />- Interval training. Short, intense workouts. Just my speed these days, however, I find that I really need someone to take me through these workouts and hold me accountable. <br /><br />Still exploring intuitive eating and resisting the urge to diet myself back down to a comfy size ten. I'm told that this will work and what's more, it will last. We shall see, my friends. I am definitely all in. That much is definitely true.Liimuhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16500191546997263087noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38232942.post-68773990145502108532012-02-15T03:00:00.000-08:002012-02-15T03:00:16.041-08:00Aubrey Organics Hair Care - Review by Cara Potapshyn Meyers<div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Georgia; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Winter can really affect your hair negatively. Dry weather, hair treatments and work outs in indoor pools, can definitely cause hair to become dry, damaged, and even color-faded. Luckily, with <b>Aubrey Organics Hair Care</b>, they have something for every hair type!</span></div></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Georgia; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></span></div></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Georgia; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I was given the opportunity to try two Aubrey Hair Products: Primrose and Lavender shampoo for sensitive hair and Honeysuckle Rose moisturizing conditioner. </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">As promised on the bottle, I was blissfully enveloped in the beautiful scent of Primrose and Lavender while shampooing my hair. I was then surrounded by the scent of Honeysuckle Rose Moisturizing conditioner! Two of my absolute favorite scents!</span></div></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Georgia; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></span></div></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Georgia; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">I used both products for a week. For the conditioner, it is recommended that you leave it in for one to two minutes. For deep conditioning, it is recommended that you leave the conditioner in for 15 minutes before rinsing it out. Since I have extremely fine, easily damaged hair, I waited until the weekend to do the deep conditioning treatment. What a difference the deep conditioning made for my hair! I was getting complementary comments about my hair all day!</span></span></div></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Georgia; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></span></div></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Georgia; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">The <b>Aubrey Hair Care</b> line includes:</span></span></div></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Georgia; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Georgia; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><i>Honeysuckle Rose Moisturizing Hair Care</i> – For hair that is frazzled by sleet and wind, use this shampoo and conditioner to replenish your hair with moisture. Rose and honeysuckle extract will leave your hair irresistibly fragrant and silky-soft.</span></span></div></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Georgia; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Georgia; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><i>GPB Glycogen Protein Hair Care</i>- This shampoo and conditioner comes in unscented, Rosemary and Peppermint, and Lavender Ylang Ylang. The Peppermint is great to re-energize your morning and the Lavender to wind down if you are a night showerer. A brand favorite for decades, the GPB protein works well for mending and nourishing hair.</span></span></div></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Georgia; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Georgia; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><i>Green Tea Clarifying Hair Care</i>- For people with limp and oily hair, rebalance your lackluster style with this duo. This hair care pair deep cleans, all the way to your scalp, while the green tea keeps your hair moisturized without getting greasy.</span></span></div></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Georgia; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Georgia; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><i>Rosa Mosqueta Hair Care</i>- Ideal for color-treated hair, the Rosa Mosqueta hair care prevents hair from fading with organic corn syrup.</span></span></div></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Georgia; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Georgia; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><i>Swimmers Normalizing Hair Care</i>- Taking a winter vacation? Getting in your winter workout at the pool? This hair care is perfect for anyone facing the damage caused by chlorine. Naturally removes chlorine, minerals and other impurities to neutralize odor, prevent discoloration and leave hair soft, rebalanced and revitalized.</span></span></div></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Georgia; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Georgia; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;">Aubrey Organics can help make everyone’s hair luscious, soft, and beautiful without harsh chemicals! I am using up my old products, but will definitely be making a complete switch to the Aubrey products. I like all natural and organic products. I particularly like them when they work as well as these products did!</span></span></div></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Georgia; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></span></div></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Georgia; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><b>Aubrey Organics Hair Care</b> ($11.00 SRP) can be found at health-food stores nationwide and at <a href="http://www.aubrey-organics.com/"><span style="color: #2100ad; letter-spacing: 0px; text-decoration: underline;">www.aubrey-organics.com</span></a>.</span></span></div><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span></div></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Georgia; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; min-height: 14px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"></span></span></div></div><div style="color: #333233; font: normal normal normal 10px/normal Georgia; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><i>Note: Thanks to </i></span><span style="color: black; letter-spacing: 0px;"><b><i>Aubrey Organics</i></b></span><span style="letter-spacing: 0px;"><i> for providing sample products. Cara Potapshyn Meyers and MotherhoodLater.com assume no liability relative to products reviewed in this blog.</i></span></span></div></div><div style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Georgia; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;"><br />
</div></div><div></div>Cara Meyershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05929269041124368708noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38232942.post-89072957324282719282012-02-14T08:25:00.000-08:002012-02-14T08:25:10.823-08:00I Heart Valentine's Day by Margaret Hart<div style="font: 11.0px Calibri; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 10.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">I have always loved Valentine's Day. Growing up, I thought it was "my" day because my last name was "Hart." Didn't matter that my name wasn't spelled with an "e." It was my day. I always loved anything in the shape of a heart, and accumulated quite a collection over the years. And at an early age, I started drawing a tiny heart next to my name whenever my signature was required. </span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Calibri; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 10.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">Over the years I've probably signed my name to more than a thousand Valentine's Day cards. I'm sure I started sending them out when I was in Kindergarten, but I don't remember. My son has been sending out Valentine Cards since he was two years old. His very first Valentine was sent to family and friends. It was a photo card with him sporting a onsie with a special message: "heart breaker." In honor of Valentine's Day, and my little Valentine, I thought I'd share that photo. Everyone loves a cute baby pic, right? </span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWV4cl01ll7K8dGf_p3_Lmyd9SphDXvXyajUZyq0bQqXFe-eN76KHBsNR0WFPSeb_SJbt0Bs7wl-VhpTdGPULc_3ff9izftvM7IVCjzuGyyVUI0pENEW5RtvFLBR7bZN4318HU/s1600/Beautiful+Baby_1A.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhWV4cl01ll7K8dGf_p3_Lmyd9SphDXvXyajUZyq0bQqXFe-eN76KHBsNR0WFPSeb_SJbt0Bs7wl-VhpTdGPULc_3ff9izftvM7IVCjzuGyyVUI0pENEW5RtvFLBR7bZN4318HU/s200/Beautiful+Baby_1A.jpg" width="137" /></a></div><div style="font: 11.0px Calibri; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 10.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><br />
</span></span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Calibri; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 10.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">When my son started preschool, I would hand-make the Valentine's he gave to his classmates. It was always fun to come up with a theme. As he's gotten older, he's wanted to choose his own. And as his current interests change, so have his Valentine's. We given out Thomas, SpongeBob, Hot Wheels, and this year, Angry Birds, which he allowed me to make. I found clip art images on the Internet and added my own sayings. I captioned one image of a pig with a bow and arrow shooting hearts: "I'm aiming for love, Valentine." </span></span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Calibri; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 10.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">I know it sounds old fashioned, but I like the Valentine's of my youth that were sweet and innocent. Like the vintage Valentine I bought for my husband one year that I had framed. It's a scene of a young girl sailing. On one sail, she says "Looking for a Mate;" on the other there's a poem: "Sail with me through life my dear, Hope shall guide and love shall steer." In honor of my big Valentine, I thought I'd share that one, too.</span></span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Calibri; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 10.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">Soon I'll be off to the hospital to visit my mother who is recuperating from total knee replacement surgery. I'll be bringing her a red heart-shaped box filled with chocolates, a card, and flowers. When it comes to Valentine's Day, I guess I'm just old fashioned at heart. Make that Hart. </span></span></div><div style="font: 11.0px Calibri; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 10.0px 0.0px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;">Happy Valentine's Day to all the moms! </span></span></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQIMweMCxIjDImIQSDcp97c3TG0xmDbVSZ69A_-H_Da34rlXmR9A-PqHfiaxAjUiELt-K78wZ_LWMPJHRAh6VraKDkgSyhqOYUeCNgvabyignTg0S8DhxuAO05d7XEhexIQnON/s1600/Valentine.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="192" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhQIMweMCxIjDImIQSDcp97c3TG0xmDbVSZ69A_-H_Da34rlXmR9A-PqHfiaxAjUiELt-K78wZ_LWMPJHRAh6VraKDkgSyhqOYUeCNgvabyignTg0S8DhxuAO05d7XEhexIQnON/s200/Valentine.jpg" width="200" /></a></div><div style="font: 11.0px Calibri; margin: 0.0px 0.0px 10.0px 0.0px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, 'Times New Roman', serif; font-size: small;"><br />
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</span></div>Cara Meyershttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05929269041124368708noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-38232942.post-39740919331619632412012-02-13T02:55:00.000-08:002012-02-13T02:55:00.402-08:00Don't Spoil Everything—by Jamie LevineThe other night, my daughter, Jayda got mad at me because, after several warnings, I announced that it was her bedtime and she couldn’t stay up and play any longer. She ranted: “I’m angry! You’re not nice to me!” I responded, “Really? I think I do a lot of nice things for you,” and she countered, “You don’t buy me toys!” As I looked at her like she was insane, she continued, “….every day!” My jaw dropped. “You want me to buy you toys every day? You have more toys than you know what to do with!” Jayda glared back at me and said, “I need more toys. You’re not nice.” <br /><br />While I <em>did </em>realize that Jayda was simply trying to goad me, and wanted to win the argument, I couldn’t help wondering if I was raising a spoiled brat—and the thought of that haunted me all night. My daughter <em>does </em>have a lot of toys, and knows how to manipulate my parents into buying things for her whenever they spend time together. But Jayda certainly doesn’t get <em>everything </em>she wants—especially not from me. So while she <em>is </em>showered with vast amounts of love and attention, that doesn’t have to translate into her feeling entitled to tons of toys. And if she does, I need to change that.<br /><br />The next morning, Jayda sauntered into my bedroom and, after poking around in my book bag, found a package of glittery stickers I’d bought for the six language-delayed children who are in a group I’m running at graduate school. She asked, “What’s this, Mommy? Are these stickers for me?” “No, honey,” I answered. “They’re for my kids at school—you know, the five boys and one girl I told you about whom I’m teaching to speak better?” Then, fearing this would upset her, I continued, “You have tons of stickers—they don’t have a lot—so I need to give these to them.” Jayda thought for a moment, then said, “I need to run downstairs for a second,” and took off. She returned quickly with a sheet of smiley-face stickers from her vast collection and said, “Here, Mommy—give them these stickers, too. I can share.” My face exploded in a smile and I said, “Jayda—that’s so nice of you—and such good sharing. Thank you!’ Then, she quickly ran away again and returned with a sheet of her absolute favorites—My Little Pony—and said, “and give these to the little girl. But tell her they came from me.” <br /><br />Being a mother is challenging—whether you have one child or ten. But moms of only children constantly hear that “onlys” have trouble sharing, and tend to be spoiled. Personally, I know plenty of kids from two- and three-children homes who don’t like to share, and I think it’s the parenting style that spoils a child—not the number of children being raised. So I’m simply going to keep parenting the way I have been…and keep doing my best to raise a kind, thoughtful, good-natured child. I can’t blame Jayda for asking for the world—but as long as I know she appreciates all that she has, and wants to help kids who don’t—I think my kid is going to turn out just fine.Jamie Lhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00649348422773054993noreply@blogger.com7