
Now, the not so good news: I still only get 4 hours per weekday to get my work done. And I'm now doing an 8 hour day workload, at least that much, and it is spilling out over those 4 hours when the babysitter is here.
So now, I'm dealing with:
1. Frustration because I can never get the work done that I need to get done each day.
2. Stress because the work is piling up and seeming unmanageable when I know I'm totally capable of doing it - and want to do it - but can't.
3. Guilt because I sneak onto my computer the rest of the afternoon when Noa wants to play or have me read to her, and all I want is for her to watch a bunch of videos to give me a few more minutes to work.
Extending the babysitter's time here is not an option right now - we'd just be spending too much of the money I'm making to really make it worthwhile.
Cutting back on work - well, I don't feel that is an option. I am feeling so much better about myself, about life, about work - it would be a setback for me that I just don't want to have.
I think things would be easier if my husband totally understood the challenge I'm facing working an 8 hour day in 4 short hours. When he complains because I do a little work after he gets home, I always remind him that he has a full 8 hour workday before he comes home, but I don't. He feels it is disrespectful that I'm on the computer when he is around. I appreciate he is old-fashioned, but it is hard to add on that pressure to an already pressured situation.
I don't know what the solution is. I'm usually good at working anything out, but maybe that was back when I didn't have a husband and baby and could just do what worked for me. Now, that is not an option.
Today was the first day that Timothy said, holding my spanish dictionary, "I'm doing my work. Don't bother me!"
ReplyDeleteOW!!! Okay, I need to make more functional Timothy time in my overloaded schedule if he's hearing that enough to repeat it. Just be glad Noa's not talking that much yet!