Early Morning Ramblings by Maureen Eich VanWalleghan

“I am not really a techie, I just play one on TV.” I wish this were true. The reality for me is that I know just enough about technology to get myself into trouble (i.e. I sound like I know what I am talking about; I know what’s possible, but I don’t know how to personally use the technology.) Sometimes this is depressing. This morning I was surfing around Aliza Sherman’s blogs looking for something that I wanted to share here. That woman knows her technology. And she has for years. Many years ago she had a vision about the power of technology and it’s implications for women. She is a pioneer and many women have been empowered through her work. Check out her latest book: Mom Incorporated. Sadly, I zigged when I should have zagged oh so long ago when I worked with her briefly. She found me annoying. I didn’t really live in the world of technology and I still don’t. I read her blogs and feel up to date on what is possible, but I just don’t use this stuff everyday.

Funny, but blogging mostly feels like I am talking to myself. So note to self, I am who I am: am an educator not a techie. But at a new teaching gig I now have at Embry Riddle Aeronautical University, technology and education connected. A student at the end of class asked if he could use his iphone to take a picture of my white board with the homework assignment on it. Of course, I said yes and had my mind blown: wow that would save me so much time if I could do the same thing. That moment made me want to upgrade my ipad NOW. Too bad I am struggling to get by. (Okay, do I whine about the fact that I teach at the three local colleges and I still make s$#t for money?)

Okay where am I headed here? Sometimes I sit at my computer and I reread my posts and I all think is: who cares? Do I really have anything of value to say? I follow a few other mommy blogs and mostly I feel like I’m not hip enough, tech savvy enough—I feel like I am spinning my wheels career-wise. Reading blogs reenforces the notion I carry around in my head about what I think I should be doing. It is the dreaded expectation—the story of who I imagined I would be. A hip, sexy mommy with a fabulous career. Instead I am kind of plump, struggling about work and frankly, pissed off about my lot as a woman in the 21st century.

Orlando, the film adaptation of Virginia Woolfe’s book (of the same name) starring Tilda Swinton comes to mind. But at the end of that movie Tilda’s character is an empowered woman. I don’t feel like that. (I think I need to watch this movie again. I have been getting into watching movies that I enjoyed before I was married or a mom. This film by Sally Potter is dang near 20 years old. Definitely a netflix request.)

Okay it’s 5:22am. I think I am done complaining. Today I am having a party for my daughter’s sixth birthday and Captain Jack is making a guest appearance (no, sadly, not Johnny Depp). Really what could be better than that. Once I post this I’m headed off to finish cleaning the guest bathroom and the stovetop and generally present the false appearance that I keep a tidy house as fourteen little six and seven years descend upon my home. Pizza, an ice cream sandwich tower and gatorade must be prepared. It’s going to be a really fun day. I love birthdays. (Hopefully readers read all the way to the end of the post and can see that I am not a total whiner.)