The 4 Hour Work Day...Sucks

First, the good news: I'm feeling so much better both physically and mentally than a year ago or even 6 months ago, and I'm diving into my work with gusto. I really enjoy the creativity and the intellectual challenge. And I love the fact that I can work from home.

Now, the not so good news: I still only get 4 hours per weekday to get my work done. And I'm now doing an 8 hour day workload, at least that much, and it is spilling out over those 4 hours when the babysitter is here.

So now, I'm dealing with:

1. Frustration because I can never get the work done that I need to get done each day.

2. Stress because the work is piling up and seeming unmanageable when I know I'm totally capable of doing it - and want to do it - but can't.

3. Guilt because I sneak onto my computer the rest of the afternoon when Noa wants to play or have me read to her, and all I want is for her to watch a bunch of videos to give me a few more minutes to work.

Extending the babysitter's time here is not an option right now - we'd just be spending too much of the money I'm making to really make it worthwhile.

Cutting back on work - well, I don't feel that is an option. I am feeling so much better about myself, about life, about work - it would be a setback for me that I just don't want to have.

I think things would be easier if my husband totally understood the challenge I'm facing working an 8 hour day in 4 short hours. When he complains because I do a little work after he gets home, I always remind him that he has a full 8 hour workday before he comes home, but I don't. He feels it is disrespectful that I'm on the computer when he is around. I appreciate he is old-fashioned, but it is hard to add on that pressure to an already pressured situation.

I don't know what the solution is. I'm usually good at working anything out, but maybe that was back when I didn't have a husband and baby and could just do what worked for me. Now, that is not an option.