Wednesday, February 04, 2009

More Than One

Seth was off from school yesterday, and he had a playdate with a girl in his kindergarten class.

It was our first time getting together with them. The kids played nicely, and I enjoyed getting to know the mom.

She was my kinda gal. Lots to talk about. Introspective. Holistic health-minded. Studying to be a life coach with an author I admire. It was a pleasant afternoon.

One thing that really struck me is that she has four children. I was in awe.

She said that last year she turned 40 and planned a getaway celebration with good friends, and how they had a blast. Her husband was very supportive of her trip.

She and her husband practice self care...they have both a yoga practitioner and masseuse come to their home regularly. I thought that was so admirable.

But, what I really wondered was what life is like with four children? They have a live-in nanny weekdays, but still......

I could only begin to imagine the dynamic of homework for four (though one is only 2.5), meals out, coordinating playdates, after school activities, etc.

I pondered what that felt like? And, the mom who seemed so industrious, how does she even fit in the time for her coaching studies? She goes to the gym at 5:30AM with a friend because she said she wouldn't get there if the didn't go at that hour. I'd be comotose if I did that, though some nights I'm up at that hour anyway.

Today I had lunch with a friend in her 50s who is an ambitious, highly-creative empty nester. And, while we were focusing on a work project for her, child-rearing came up. And, she herself said that having children was a lot of work, even if it's one. This is not to say you don't love your children...and I adore Seth.....but there's a lot to be done as a parent.

For me, I couldn't imagine for a moment having four children, especially as a later mom. I wouldn't have the energy or focus to devote to it. There are other things I aspire to do simultaneously. I'm glad I'm clear about that, and I have nothing but the utmost respect for those who parent more than one. I just know that at this point in my life, that would not be for me. And, luckily my husband is on the same page.

PS -- Check out the February contest on the home page of It features a cool bracelet, courtesy of They are a New York-based, online boutique for high-end designer children's clothing.

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Blogger Amy E. Willard said...

Hi, Robin.

I'm always amazed with larger families as well. I have two kids, and it can be such a challenge to fit in everything.

I also appreciate your honesty regarding having other things that you aspire to as well. Since 40isn't too far off for me, I feel like I don't want to postpone the "rest of my life" anymore. And if I were to have more children at this point, I just would not have the energy to move forward on some of my other dreams. Even with my two kids, I find myself dragging more often than I'd like to be.

I'm really excited that I found your site; just came across it today through twittermoms. Thank you for providing this.


2:31 PM  

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