The Resolve to Evolve—by Jamie Levine
My daughter, Jayda, always craves instant gratification, and I often find myself admonishing her to “be patient” when she wants her dinner the second we place our order at a restaurant, wants to be sitting on the merry-go-round the moment we step onto the line for it, and when she screams for a friend’s toy when she’s waiting for her turn to play with it. It’s tough to teach a four-and-a-half-year-old to have patience…especially when I often don’t have it, myself.
In 2012, I’d love to find a way to be more patient with my daughter…with my family…and especially with the men whom I’m starting to date. Life would be so much easier, and less stressful, if I could. When it comes to Jayda testing me with her strong-willed nature, I always start off calm and strong…but eventually lose it and wind up either screaming at or stomping away from her. Jayda knows just how to chip away at my calm façade and get me to lose my patience. She pushes and tests me…and I often fail.
When it comes to dealing with the rest of my family, I rarely raise my voice or even walk away, but I do tend to get antsy and irritable. I want slow-speaking relatives to hurry up and finish their stories, slow-moving family members to get out of my way when I’m in a rush (which is often), and those with whom I don’t see eye to eye to bow to my opinion and avoid an argument. Since these wishes of mine rarely come true, I often lose my patience…and I’d love to change that.
And most significant of all, is my lack of patience with men. I hate to wait for the objects of my interest to contact me…or to initiate plans with me. I get frustrated sitting around anticipating a text, and always break down and text a guy first…or text back too quickly. I rationalize that I don’t like to play games, or that my time is precious and I can’t wait around to make a date, but the fact is that like my daughter, I need instant gratification, and simply…have no patience. Similarly, at the start of a new relationship, I always crave more attention—or rather validation from the man that he’s into me. I never need to see a guy often, but I want to hear from him…and if a few days go by without any contact, I lose patience, and always wind up reaching out to him, instead. I make myself seem too available, or maybe too interested…but the fact is, I simply have no patience. Like most things in my life that I’m interested in, I like to dive right in. But there’s something to be said about being slow and steady—and worth the wait. So in 2012, I’m going to try to do some waiting for a change. Take more deep breaths. And acquire some patience. Because in my heart I do know that things that take time and effort to achieve or acquire, generally prove to be the most valuable things of all….