Friday, April 23, 2010

Discipline -- by Robin

My husband and I got in to a spat this past week re: discipline.

Seth wasn't doing good listening, and in a heated moment of weakness, Marc lost control and hit him. Not hard. But, with anger.

Both Seth and I were in shock. And, Seth cried. More, I think, because he was taken aback than from actual pain.

But, I was pained.

My husband was raised by a father (may he rest in peace), who would sometimes take a belt to him and his younger brother. Leather...not cloth.

I can't imagine being chased by a belt, not to mention being potentially hit with one.

Where does this discpline approach come from? Is it passed down from the generations? Did my father-in-law's father hit him with a belt? And, when does it stop?

As far as I'm concerned, it stops right our household.

What lesson does hitting impart? Not one I choose to endorse.

I spoke with my own senior dad about it who admitted that my sister and I were sometimes spanked, though I honestly don't recall. So, I'm sure it wasn't a frequent scenario. But, still..........

What message does hitting send to a child?

Do you want your child to learn that it's ok to hit? And who? Other children? Their own children should they grow up and become a parent?

Do you want your legacy with your child to be that of a parent who couldn't control their temper and used physical force to get their point across? What will your child remember more? Your point or your blow?

I have moments when Seth pushes my buttons and I have to walk away and take a deep breath. But, I endeavor as much as possible not to yell at him and I would certainly never take a hand or belt or any other body part or blunt object to him. And, particularly as he matures and gains strength, I wouldn't want him to do it to me. Striking is not an option in our home.

While he apologized to Seth, and Seth to him, I shared with Marc that I never want to witness a repeat episode.

I recognize that discipline isn't the easiest and sometimes we don't know what to do, but almost anything is better than laying a hand on your child.

PS - Thanks to Hasbro for the cool Nerf 'N Sports Weather Blitz Flyer...a disc designed for maximum performance. And, the Nerf 'N Sports Curve Pitch Baseball Set that lets you throw trick pitches. My son, 7, plays on a baseball league, and is loving it. And, we play with the frisbee as he waits for the school bus in the morning, and it's a lot more durable and easier to throw than others we have. Visit Nerf.

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