Sunday, December 19, 2010
I am not enjoying my children right now. I'm feeling jipped. I want to be a mother. I WANT to enjoy motherhood. I WANT to enjoy my children. But I'm not.
The “fault” is not mine. My children have issues right now. Their issues are impacting everyone (including the cats and the dog). Breathing, meditating and exercising don’t seem enough of a reactive shield to the negative energy swirling around us.
What to do?
One friend suggested that I take in even the smallest moments of joy, as victories in any given day. Another said that I should just bide my time, as all things are cyclical and pass.
Here’s my problem: this just makes me very unhappy. When Mommy’s unhappy, everyone’s unhappy. I think you see the cycle this is creating.
For those of us who waited this long to become mothers, we don’t have time to waste. We don’t have time to wait. We don’t even have time to fail. And, we sure as heck don’t like to not have fun.
For me, I just want to live each day as joyfully and happily as I can, noting the many others who have lives far worse than ours.
Does anyone have any suggestions? I’d love to hear from you.