Theatre Review: "Motherhood Out Loud" -- by Laura Houston

In my role as a mother, there are at once overwhelming waves of joy mixed with paralyzing fear. Then it’s all topped off with an ambiguous sense of loss. I am besieged with emotions, chores, and, yes, even loneliness if I allow myself to be still long enough. And as with all things in life that move me in this way, I seek meaning in the cracks.

So on a cold, rainy October night in New York City, I headed out to see “Motherhood Out Loud” with my friend Sara who is of “advanced maternal age” and is also enduring her own maternal rollercoaster ride.

The one thing I must first say about the play is that the acting was excellent. Only four actors (Mary Bacon, Saidah Arrika Ekulona, Randy Graff, and James Lecesne) appeared on stage during the 90-minute show, but more than 20 characters paraded in front of us, telling their stories of triumph and defeat while pledging their solidarity to the state of motherhood. In front of our eyes, they aged and regressed. I laughed out loud often, and I made a tearful sniff twice.
 Some of the stories stand out more than others. All of them touched on a truth at some level. The most humorous and most relatable sketch for me was one of a mother (played delightfully by Bacon) on the playground with her son, trying to smoke a cigarette and get a grip on how much her life has changed — how much she misses her old life; how she would never in a million years go back to it. She is joined by two other up-tight mothers who plan a playdate in front of her. She tries to participate in the conversation. She fails. She feels awkward and out of place. The acting was so good it made me feel uncomfortable because I have been in that very same spot on the park bench in between those two ladies who I don’t want to be friends with any more than she does, but I often find my need to be a part of something stronger than my introverted sense of disgust with mothers like that.

 Bacon's character continues the pursuit of saving grace when she acknowledges she would sacrifice any and all for her child, so she doesn’t light the cigarette, she throws her ugly diaper bag over her shoulder, and heads home to “bake some fucking cookies.”

Another speech that blew me away was delivered by the middle-aged mother (played passionately by Ekulona) of a soldier who explains the horror she endures now that her son has gone off to war. She eloquently relates the frantic drone in her ears that comes from constantly listening for a knock on the door, which will be followed by the news no mother can bear to hear. This buzz prevents her from ever being fully present at work, in conversations, in movies, and when she sleeps. Parts of her monologue left me stunned as she described the pain and the fear that comes with the possibility of losing her son, and the sacrifices she was willing to make to ensure he lived. It makes you rethink who the real soldier is.

If you enjoy watching actor's transform before your eyes with nothing more than a hooded sweatshirt, an oversized scarf, or a pair of glasses, you won't be dissapointed. Randy Graff goes from young to old and young again as she passes through her characters. She doesn't miss a nuance, and she is unforgettable as a wise, sassy, great grandmother. James Lecesne plays a gay father, and he educates the audience on how to get pregnant, how to maintain a relationship with a surrogate while pregnant, and how family becomes family in an easy, natural, unexpected manner. In a later sketch, he transforms into a divorcee who moves in with his mother and is now taking care of her instead of the other way around. He'll break your heart.

The play takes us from the first steps of motherhood all the way to letting go. Some of the jokes were a little predictable, and some of the material hit too close to home to rise above the minutia of motherhood. And both Sara and I found there was one thing missing: The impact of motherhood on the marriage. I don’t know a woman who has not become crazy in one way or another after becoming a mother. I don’t know a woman who did not become unreasonably irritated with her partner on a daily basis while she adjusted. I don’t know of a relationship that didn’t drag on the ground and become a little more frayed by the addition of a child. Sara and I agreed that the greatest change motherhood placed upon us wasn’t just physical and mental. All of our relationships changed. Some for the better. Some for the worst. We would have enjoyed seeing how other marriages and relationships survive motherhood, but that could very well be another play in itself.

After the show, Sara and I went for a late dinner, and we discussed the issues the play brought up for us. How hard it is to be a mother, and yet how naturally it comes to us. How it’s the most painful thing anyone could ever do, yet so many of us choose to do it on a daily basis. We sat in a café talking for hours, which is the sign that the play hit its mark. And when the rain finally let up, we walked out onto the streets and practically ran home to where our husbands and sons lay breathing softly in their beds. Waiting just for us. And we were happier women for it.

"Motherhood Out Loud" covers 90 years of mothering in 90 minutes. It happens fast. The play. And motherhood. Gather some other moms. Get a sitter. Go. See. It.

Directed by Lisa Peterson. Conceived by Susan R. Rose and Joan Stein, and written by Leslie Ayvazian, David Cale, Jessica Goldberg, Beth Henley, Lameece Issaq, Claire LaZebnik, Lisa Loomer, Michele Lowe, Marco Pennette, Theresa Rebeck, Luanne Rice, Annie Weisman and Cheryl L. West.

The show runs from October 4^th through October 29^th with eight shows a week at the 59E59 Theatres. Tickets are available at primarystages.org or call 212-840-9705. For a special Motherhood Later Than Sooner discount, use the code MOM9161.  Visit MotherhoodOutLoud.com, for more about the show, and submit your AHA Motherhood Moment to be featured on their site...and see what other moms are sharing.

ROBIN GORMAN NEWMAN CHATS WITH: SUSAN ROSE AND JOAN STEIN, PRODUCERS/CONCEIVERS, MOTHERHOOD OUT LOUD, THE NEW OFF BWAY SHOW

Where and when did the idea for MOTHERHOOD OUT LOUD come from?

Susan (left photo): I was a active Broadway Producer in the 80's. When my daughter Samantha was born, I decided to become a full time mom. When she started first grade, I began working part time. I teamed up with a partner in LA, and we developed/produced movies for television. When Sammi was in High School, I saw the Sara Jones's show BRIDGE AND TUNNEL. It explored the Immigrant experience in such a unique way, and I came out asking what is another universal subject that could be presented theatrically, and immediately thought MOTHERHOOD.

Joan, how did you and Susan come to partner on it?

Joan (right photo): Susan and I met 25 years ago in NY -- we were part of the "young turks" in the NY theatre -- and worked together producing on and off broadway as well as being part of The Producers Group -- an organization comprised of young commercial producers --and we have been friends since then.

We each have had our own experiences with motherhood -- for 10 years, my husband and I tried to have a family -- after fertility operations, a miscarriage, and 3 failed adoptions - we finally decided that we had to focus our lives on what we have, and not on what we don't have. And what we have includes loving friends and families, as well as a relationship with our niece and nephew -- which is as close to parental as one can get without being the actual parents. Both of them now have children of their own, and we are lucky enough to still be very close. My niece refers to me as "Aunt Mommy" -- which is just about the sweetest compliment I could ever imagine.

What are some of the subjects addressed, and how did you choose the particular playwrights included?

Susan: We figured out that it would be hard to attract the interest of one writer to write the show. Writers who write solo shows have their own ideas and are usually working on something personal to them. We decided to create a show by a group of writers to share varied mothering experiences. We wanted it to be authentic, real and honest, and the play covers diverse subjects such as immigrant moms, adoption, special needs children and same sex parenting. More importantly, it explores the life cycle and how mothers always have a role regardless of how old your children are.

What is the message you hope people will take away from the show?

Joan: I hope that everyone who sees the show will feel united by this universal experience -- after all, we all are mothers and/or have mothers -- and know that this one word -- Motherhood - expresses membership in the same club where we have different, vital, meaningful experiences.

Tell us about the history of the show prior to arriving in NY? How did it come to be produced at Primary Stages?

Joan: Susan and I started by reaching out to writers whom we know and asking them to share their personal stories with us. All in all, we gathered more than 35 stories! About a year into this process, we brought Lisa Peterson in to direct and help develop the play. The show started to take shape, and we had to make the difficult decision of which pieces best fit into the structure. That was the hardest part, because all the stories were wonderful -- but we knew we had to keep the play at a manageable length.  After several staged readings and workshop productions, we had our world premiere at Hartford Stage Company in March 2010, followed by a west coast premiere at the Geffen Playhouse in Los Angeles in February 2011, and now we are looking forward to our NYC debut at Primary Stages this fall. We came to each of those theatres through personal relationships and with the imprimatur of having 15 of  the best playwrights in the country represented in MOTHERHOOD OUT LOUD.

What has the reaction of the cast been to the material?

Susan: A lot of our cast members are moms and really connect with the material. Even if they aren’t mothers, everyone has a mother.

Have you gotten feedback from moms/dads who’ve seen the show?

Joan: Sometimes I watch the audience during a performance, and I see men and women nodding as they identify with the material -- whether it is about the questions confronting a young mom, or the things that none of us want to say out loud until we realize that everyone else is feeling or has had the same unspoken thoughts. Everyone has a story, and everyone wants to be heard. MOTHERHOOD OUT LOUD encourages us to celebrate our similarities and our differences -- and above all -- to appreciate Motherhood, traditional or not -- as the most rewarding, difficult and important contribution you can make to a person's life.

Susan, you’re a mom. Was there anything from your parenting experience that played a role in the development of the show? Now that your daughter is 21, any advice you’d care to share with  moms of young children?

Susan: When we presented the first workshop of the play, my daughter, who is an only child, was a Senior in High School, and she had just been accepted to George Washington University. Leslie Avayzian's "Threesome" in MOTHERHOOD OUT LOUD is about being an Empty Nester, and I still cry every time I hear it.

Nothing prepares you for Motherhood. I didn't grow up around alot of babies and younger children. When my daughter was born, I had never changed a diaper. I always wanted children, and having them was not easy, so when Sammi entered our lives, I really embraced Motherhood. I am a huge multi-tasker, but I found especially in the early years of raising a child, it is all consuming and leaves little room for other pursuits..at least in my experience. Today, mothers can, thanks to social networking, connect readily with others to share experiences. It makes it less isolating, and that's a help on a day-to-day basis when you're caught up in the tasks that come with parenting.  So, make a point of reaching out.  You're never alone.

What are future plans for the production?

Joan: We are planning on taking MOTHERHOOD OUT LOUD all over the country and world -- this is a subject matter that  touches everyone's hearts - and we want to reach as many as possible. We are so proud to be part of this extraordinary collection of talent, and are humbled by the beautiful, funny, moving quilt of stories they have created -- this show, similar to Motherhood itself, is nothing like what we imagined, and better than we could have ever hoped for.

For information about MOTHERHOOD OUT LOUD, visit http://www.motherhoodoutloud.com.  The show dates at Primary Stages in NYC are September 20th - October 29th.

Robin Gorman Newman, is Associate Producer of MOTHERHOOD OUT LOUD and founder, http://www.MotherhoodLater.com, a community/resource for those parenting later in life.  Motherhood Later has a group outing to see the show on Friday, 9/23, 8pm, followed by a TalkBack moderated by Robin and featuring Susan and Joan, playwrights, etc. To purchase a discount ticket for that evening, use code MOM923 and visit Primary Stages. 

ROBIN'S SHOW RECOMMENDATION: Olive and the Bitter Herbs by Charles Busch

In Olive and the Bitter Herbs, the latest comedy from Tony-nominated playwright Charles Busch (The Divine Sister, The Tale of the Allergist’s Wife), actress Olive Fisher sees a ghost in her mirror, but that’s the least of her problems. Her radiator’s broken, the couple next door stink up her apartment with exotic cheeses, and the highlight of her long career was a sausage commercial in the ’80s. While she’s not the most popular tenant, her neighbors invite themselves over, and she finds herself hosting a Passover Seder. But are Olive’s guests there to see her or the mysterious man in her mirror? Olive and the Bitter Herbs is a comedy about connecting to the people in our lives – those with us and those who have passed on.

I've been a Charles Busch fan for years, and always delight in seeing his new work.  Olive didn't disappoint. Full of laughs and rapid fire comic timing, the cast delivers with wit and charm, and the material is classic Busch.  Intrigue, coincidences, pithy life observations, heartfelt relationships, confessions, you name it, it's all there.

The cast features David Garrison (By the Way, Meet Vera Stark) as Robert , Dan Butler as Trey, Julie Halston (a particular treat in Olive) as Wendy, Marcia Jean Kurtz as Olive and Richard Masur as Sylvan.  The creative team includes Anna Louizos (Set), Suzy Benzinger (Costumes), M.L. Geiger (Lights) and John Gromada (Original Music).  The play was commissioned by Primary Stages.

Directed by Mark Brokaw, Olive and the Bitter Herbs has the following performance schedule: Tuesdays Wednesdays and Thursdays at 7:00 p.m., Fridays at 8:00 p.m., Saturdays at 2:00 p.m. and 8:00 p.m., with Sunday matinees at 3:00 p.m.on August 7, 14 and 21, and Wednesday matinees at 2:00 p.m.on August 24 and 31. Following the public performances on August 18 and 25, there will be a special "Artist/Audience Talkback" for attendees of those performances.

It plays through Saturday, September 3, 2011 at Primary Stages at 59E59 Theaters (59 East 59th Street, between Park and Madison Avenues). Opening night is Tuesday, August 16, 7:00 p.m.

Single tickets for Olive and the Bitter Herbs are $45 for the first two weeks (July 26 – August 7) and $65 for all remaining performances (August 9 – September 3). Tickets may be purchased by calling Ticket Central at (212) 279-4200, online at http://www.primarystages.org/, or in person at the 59E59 THEATERS Box Office. Group Tickets (10+) are $35 each for the first two weeks (July 26 – August 7) and $45 each for all remaining performances (August 9 – September 3), and are available by calling (212) 840-9705, ext. 204. Visit http://www.primarystages.org/, or call (212) 840-9705 for additional information.

For theater patrons 35 and under, Primary Stages offers specially priced $20 tickets (maximum two tickets per valid ID). Advance tickets are available through Ticket Central using code PS35. Failure to present a valid ID will result in an additional fee. All tickets are subject to availability.

The 2011/2012 season at Primary Stages will continue with the New York Premiere of the new play, Motherhood Out Loud, written by Leslie Ayvazian, David Cale, Jessica Goldberg, Beth Henley, Lameece Issaq, Claire LaZebnik, Lisa Loomer, Michele Lowe, Marco Pennette, Theresa Rebeck, Luanne Rice, Annie Weisman and Cheryl L. West, co-conceived by Susan R. Rose and Joan Stein, under the direction of Lisa Peterson (September 20, 2011 - October 29, 2011), followed by the World Premiere of the new comedy, Rx, by Kate Fodor (January 24, 2012 - March 3, 2012). The season concludes with the New York Premiere of the new play, The Morini Strad, by Willy Holtzman directed by Primary Stages Founder Casey Childs (March 20, 2012 - April 28, 2012).

Note: On Friday, September 23, I will be moderating a special talk back with playwrights, co-conceivers, etc. about the show and life as a 35+ mom.  And, there will be a group outing to see the 8pm show for MotherhoodLater.com.  To purchase discount tickets for that evening and sit with our group, including the talkback, use code MOM923.  

Discounted 4-play subscription packages for previews and regular performances priced from $132-$172 are now available by calling Ticket Central at (212) 279-4200 or online at http://www.primarystages.org/.