Thursday, May 31, 2007

Finding Focus

I'm having a hard time focusing on work. I've got a babysitter coming 4 hours a morning now but it seems to take my brain longer than usual to dive into writing. My brain used to skip around effortlessly from task to topic. Nowadays, I'm lucky to stay on track and finish anything.

Then, when I'm in "mommy mode" after the babysitter leaves, I have a hard time focusing on nothing but baby. I keep desperately wanting to jump on my computer to do one more thing, send one more email, check one more Web site, write one more article. I feel frustration welling up inside me and want to explode.

I take a deep breath, let it out slowly, then try to play yet another game or read one of her books for the umpteenth time. I try to breathe out the work brain and bring in the mommy brain. But I always feel I'm only halfway present for each role I play during the day.

Anyone else feel like that?

2 Comments:

Blogger Dalon said...

COMPLETELY!!

I quit my job after my first son was born (2 1/2 years ago) because I just couldn't stay focused on work. I was lucky enough to be able to do that, but it was a very difficult decision. I loved my job - my career - and I miss it!

I tried taking my son to the office with me - that worked out great for 3 or 4 months. Then I worked from home a couple months, then had to quit altogether ... I just couldn't give my clients what they really needed ... undivided attention.

Not everyone is able to do this, I know - for me, it was the only option. My husband and I decided that we wanted to raise our children - at least one of us would stay home the first five years.

I know I only have these early years with my kids once ... work will be there later.

More than anything I'm struggling to find the "me" in my life right now. I imagine I'll be searching for a while ... talk about needing focus!!!!

Now what was I doing before I got to this blog????

9:37 PM  
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11:05 PM  

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