Wednesday, July 14, 2010

The Conundrum Over Wine Glasses - by Cara

I am currently in the midst of a heated debate regarding a set of wine glasses I gave to a close friend recently. I first saw them on a Facebook group site called,
OMG, I so need a glass of wine, or I’m gonna sell my kids!!
This group has a following of 109,646 fans. So I am obviously not the only one who can relate to this group! I bought a pair of these glasses with the full group tag imprinted on the wine glasses for myself, as well as a pair that just said, “OMG, I so need a glass of wine!” A friend saw these and LOVED them, so I bought her a set, with the complete logo as a gift, and she frequently calls or texts me that she is pulling out those glasses after the kids are asleep!

Enter one of my other close friends. She typically has bottles of wine and wine coolers lined up on top of her refrigerator. And she frequently mentions that as soon as her son goes to bed, she is having a tall glass of wine. Well, I thought that these “OMG” wine glasses would be great for her to have too! I even bought her the ones that just said,”OMG, I so need a glass of wine,” just in case she didn’t want to use the ones with the reference towards selling your kids with certain company. Well, as it turned out, she was appalled. And she needed to mention that not only was SHE appalled, she showed the glasses to her family and fiends and they were appalled as well! I apologized for offending her and offered to take the glasses back or suggest that she give them away or even throw them out if they offended her so much. She said that she wanted to keep them (?).

I was then forwarded an article by one of our other Motherhood Later bloggers regarding the issue of Mom’s needing a drink at the end of the day to take the edge off,
All Joy and No Fun...Why Parents Hate Parenting,”
from New York Magazine. This article quotes a Mom who states, “The Children’s Museum of Manhattan - a nice place, but what it really needs is a bar.” This is just not a select group of Moms who fall into this category. There are Parenting Podcasts where the hosts readily admit to needing a drink of wine at the end of the day. There are Parenting Forums where literally hundreds of Moms admit that parenting is far from easy and that a drink at the end of the day helps them to unwind.

I need to add that I am not at all pro-drinking. In fact, I rarely drink at all due to the plethora of medications I take. And I am definitely not advocating drinking to such excess that it begins to impair your life or you need it to get through each day. But a glass of wine now and then, or socially, I believe is perfectly acceptable. Especially when you come home at the end of the day and find a myriad of toys strewn around, crayon marks on the walls, a bathroom that is drenched from you child wanting to give their stuffed animals a bath (and end up wrapped in your child’s sheets to “dry off,” i.e. remake bed). I can see wanting to grab something to relax you before you try to calmly deal with each of these issues.

So back to my wine glasses. What do you think? I gave them to one friend who adores them and one friend who is horrified by them. I guess having glasses that indicate that you would want to sell your kids is a bit much. And I don’t think I will be giving them as gifts to any other friends, unless upon specific request. But considering the circumstances, was I reading into my appalled friend a little too much, and subtly indicating that she has a drinking problem (which I certainly was not), or was she over reacting to what I considered a humorous, harmless gift?

Please give me your feedback. I am interested to know what you think.

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Blogger Unknown said...

Don't we all have 'OMG- I so need...' moments? Some of us just enjoy acknowledging it to the world and others are too embarrassed to admit it. I don't think your friend would keep the glasses if she wasn't secretly identifying with the message. I'll bet she's giggling behind that horrified response.

8:51 AM  
Blogger Cara Meyers said...

I think you are right, Angela!

9:26 AM  
Blogger Laura Houston said...

I agree with what Angela said. We all have those moments where we really need something, whether it be a glass of wine, a nap, a moment of silence, or a long run. I sometimes feel guilty for really wanting that glass of wine.....I mean...shouldn't having kids scrub the need for other indulgences? No. That's silly. I don't know why your friend would be offended. Maybe she needs a glass of wine more than she thinks. Heck, I would be pleases that someone just thought enough of me in a time like this to give me the gift. And if she doesn't want to give them back, well, maybe she just needed to get scrappy with someone. You. Unfortunately. I recommend having a glass of wine and really thinking about it. ;-)

5:13 AM  
Blogger Robin Gorman Newman said...

I totally agree with Angels and Laura. Also, where's your friend's sense of humor?! I, too, think that the message might have been too much for her because it put into public light that perhaps she secretly does yearn for a drink or some kind of parenting escape, as we all need from time to time.

NY Magazine had an article about Loving Your Kids, Hating Parenting. And, the journalist was on THE TODAY SHOW today, and she and expert Gail Saltz discussed how some mom bloggers will admit how they feel, but others won't openly. And, it actually might serve them well if they did because burying emotion isn't the greatest thing to do.

6:10 AM  
Blogger Cara Meyers said...

Well, we now have four in consensus (5 if you count the friend who LOVES the glasses!!), so I feel better knowing that I wasn't completely out of line! Any group that has over 100,000 fans that admit that they need SOMETHING to make parenting go more smoothly, indicates that we are not alone! Thanks, everyone, for your support!

6:23 AM  
Blogger R Shower said...

Carla, your 'hater' friend is so totally in denial, all I can say is "Bless her heart."

And you were right, when in doubt leave off the "or I will sell my kids" part because in the the wrong hands you might find CPS knocking at your door!

Chin up!

5:18 PM  

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