Cara’s Holiday Stress Relievers - by Cara Potapshyn Meyers

Dream Water

Dream Water is the first all natural sleep enhancer. It is perfect for Motherhood Later...Than Sooner readers, especially during the holiday season. Just in time for holiday travel! With everyone running around getting ready to celebrate, we could all use good nights of sleep!

Dream Water helps you relax and fall asleep fast and has zero calories, no preservatives and natural active ingredients (GABA, Melatonin, 5-HTP). Dream Water is TSA approved in its 2.5 oz shot, which makes it the perfect travel companion.

My husband tried Dream Water versus his usual melatonin tablet. He reported that he fell asleep faster and felt that he slept more solidly. He also loves all natural products, so he plans to purchase Dream Water in bulk. 

We were given samples of Lullaby Lemon and Pineapple flavors. The pineapple flavor was my husband’s favorite! He said the lemon had a nice, soothing taste to it, however. Dream Water also comes in Snoozeberry.

Bill Clinton, Cate Blanchett, Alec Baldwin, Bruce Willis, Kristin Chenowith, Katherine McPhee & Khloe Kardashian, are all fans of Dream Water, along with over 70 Million Americans who can’t sleep.

Dream Water is excited to announce a retail alliance with CVS/Pharmacy making Dream Water available in over 20,000 points of sale nationwide! Dream Water can be found in Walmart, Walgreens, Hudson News, Duane Reade as well as airport retailers. The Dream Water website is: www.drinkdreamwater.com. Or “like” them on Facebook at www.facebook.com/dreamwater.

Shanti Generation:

Yoga Skills for Youth Peacemakers

Yoga, practiced by nearly 14 million American adults, has developmental benefits for young people that can help develop self-confidence, combat obesity, and support academic achievement. Yoga has helped children with ADHD, Autism and chronic disease to stay physically healthy and mentally focused.  

Abby Wills, MA, is a Southern California yoga instructor, who holds an MA in Education and has 15 years of hands-on experience working in schools. Her unique insights enable her to understand the specific needs of the educator and the day-to-day classroom experience as well as developing tools for a teacher without a yoga background. She has developed an innovative yoga program created in tandem with seven Los Angeles teenagers and set to soothing music by Aaron Wills (aka P-Nut), the bassist of the rock band, 311. The result, SHANTI GENERATION. 

This DVD is making it easier to introduce the lifelong benefits of yoga into schools by making it classroom friendly. With the help of young teens, Abby Wills developed a transformational new yoga program to help tweens and teens develop confidence and strength while cultivating inner peace and mindfulness. The first DVD in the series, ‘YOGA SKILLS FOR YOUTH PEACEMAKERS,’ offers invaluable tools for children ages 7-16  and is now on DVD at major retail outlets as well as its five digital “pathways” available on VOD platforms.

“Shanti,” means “peace” in Sanskrit. In fact, says Wills, “We plan to build a movement by teaching young people peacemaking skills, to build a world that respects and celebrates differences in effort to create a culture of peace and unity. The yoga program we developed cultivates social and emotional learning, or SEL, through mindfulness practices including movement, breathing and meditation. Each practice is offered in a context directly relevant to the developmental needs of adolescent youth, unlike yoga DVDs created for adults or young kids. In particular, the program is designed to empower teens to cope with real life challenges, including bullying.”

DVD FEATURES:

·         Over 30 unique options for beginner and experienced yogis:

o       5 unique half-hour practice sequences: Creating Happiness, Energy Amplified, Choosing Peace, Being Sound and Voice Choice Possibility  

o       Library of Poses: 18 mini sequences for Focus, Energy and Calm 

o       Breathing Room: 5 sequences featuring stress management and self-regulation.

o       Self-Connection Room: two mindful awareness practices.

·         Interviews with the seven teen yoga students.

·         Optional narration in Spanish and Japanese.

DIGITAL PATHWAYS AVAILABLE ON VOD:

Five segments, each between twenty to thirty minutes, are available to purchase download or rent online on portals such as Netflix, iTunes, and Amazon.  These pathways include:

1. Creating Happiness: Looking for happiness? Get flexible! Breathe and move your way into happiness with forward bends for flexibility. True happiness comes through shining health.
2. Energy Amplified: Balancing and core strengthening postures give you what no energy drink ever can: sustainable body energy to power your life. Get strong, be healthy.
3. Choosing Peace: Peace is a behavior you can choose at any moment, no matter what. Get your mind on board with your breath for a peaceful journey through standing poses, backbends and forward bends designed to empower you to find your own peace inside.
4. Being Sound: Twist, bend and relax your way to deep peace. To be sound is to be free and secure at the same time. Be vibrant and radiate peace.
5. Voice Choice Possibility: Take a moment to remember what you really want and fuel up on positive energy to make your dreams come true. Breathe, visualize and move the way you want to feel.

If you have a child or tween stressed out from exams and an overload of projects before the Winter Recess, buy your child the gift of inner peace. And join them! You could probably use a little inner peace as well!

The DVD retails for $16.95  and is 90 minutes long. For more information and updates, please visit: www.cinemalibrestudio.com.

Note: Thanks to Cinema Libre Studio and Jonesworks, Inc. for providing sample products.  Cara Potapshyn Meyers and MotherhoodLater.com assume no liability relative to products reviewed in this blog.

Just Me and My Guy - By Cara Potapshyn Meyers

A beautiful ocean breeze is blowing by me while my son is making the "world's largest sandcastle" with a little boy he befriended. We have had impeccable weather since we have been here; Five days so far. Under ordinary circumstances, this would be sublime.

My son and I are at a ridiculously overpriced beachfront hotel, with suboptimal service (I am the Hotel Snob, you know). Our house has been without power, food, and hot water for almost a week now, since Hurricane Irene passed by. My son couldn't take the pitch black nights with no air conditioning or fans and no refrigerated food. I made a call to a beachfront resort that I had tried to make reservations with a month ago. At that time they were booked solid. I called the day after the hurricane passed and wouldn't you know it! I had my choice of any room I wanted because so many guests had cancelled! I planned to stay for just a few days since I predicted we would have power back within that time. No such luck. I extended our stay throughout the Labor Day weekend.

This unplanned excursion, although bordering on necessary, has really been a treat for both my son and me. Neither of us had been to the beach all summer. My son adores the beach and wallows in the sand. I know I can take him anywhere and he will make friends...even a beach chair, if necessary! His BFF and mine came to visit us one of the days we were here. That day went too quickly for us. Since then, my son has befriended a boy who is here with his Mom and siblings because they lost power also. The boys have been practically inseparable.

My only frustration has been the fact that some cell towers around here have been inactive, due to the storm. My only means of communication has been through texting. I'm not sure if I like embracing my limited means of communication or not. On the one hand, I have to use my computer sparingly. Getting and receiving cell phone calls is practically impossible. If the wind blows the right way, I can post on FaceBook or upload a photo of my son on the beach. All in all, though, I'm getting used to the spotty connections and limitations to the outside world.

The best part of this trip has been the bonding I have had with my son. We are "together" 24/7. He is off with his friend while on the beach, but we are together at all other times. We lie in bed, exhausted at the end of the day. He watches some TV while I read or type this blog. We order in room service because I arranged to get meal vouchers. All I have to pay for is the delivery fee. Basically, we do what we want, when we want, with no set schedule at all. It's perfect!

We also play on the beach together. When my son's friend has somewhere else to go, we fly our kite, dig in the sand, and walk on the beach collecting treasures. I get cold easily, so I stay at the water's edge and take photos of my son as he navigates the wild post-hurricane current with his boogie board! We even became friendly with a very nice lifeguard who took my son out into the ocean to help him learn to swim in ocean water. I have complete confidence when my son is in a pool or still water. But ocean water is always unpredictable. I want him to feel the unpredictability and learn how to navigate through it. He is strong and sure of himself. I have no reason to believe he won't be able to be completely comfortable and respectful of the ocean. He wants to learn to surf one day. One needs to be totally at ease but mindful to take on a sport such as that.  

This week has been an unexpected joy! My blogs, however, seem to depict an oxymoron! Last week I was swooning over my extended "alone time." Now I am swooning over time spent together with my son. I guess this shows me that there really is no balance to parenting if you have one but not the other. I also believe that because we are just doing our own thing, without any set schedules, it makes this time together even more enjoyable. I am almost disappointed for us both that school begins in a few days. We'll be back to "routine." Everyone needs routine in their lives to some extent. Some more than others. But I am loving this simple time with just my son. His sweet endearments towards me. My unbridled love for him. Just the two of us. Just me and my guy. 

Keeping Up With the...Benjamins? - Cara Potapshyn Meyers

 The following is a direct quote from a posting on Facebook last week, written by a Mom friend of mine:

“I was just told by my kid that I’m the worst Mom ever for not buying him a new (Nintendo) DS. While that was hurtful, I told him that there is special training for that at Mom School and that I won the Best ‘Worst Mom in Training’ award! The nerve!”

This posting elicited more than fifteen responses from other supportive Moms, including me:

“My son said that there were only 4 kids in school who didn’t have (Nintendo) DS games and he was one of them. I responded by asking him, “Do they have their own laptops like you do (my hand-me-down), and not have to share them with a brother or sister? And do they have their own iPhone to play a thousand different games on (also my hand-me-down...no cell service though)? He said, Um, no.” So I told him that he was pretty lucky and privileged even without a (Nintendo) DS. That left him speechless.”

I bring this up because my husband and I have been going through this “DS Drama” for a few weeks now. And although the Mom I quoted received quite a few accolades for the creative comeback she quickly thought of, it still is not getting to the root of the problem, nor is it teaching her child where the line has been crossed. This same Mom posted after mine that although she liked my post, her kids were, “So teched out, it wasn’t even funny.” So where is that line?

I wrote a few weeks back about wanting to “fit in” with my peers at age fourteen by having Levi jeans with the leather tag on the back. But that was probably a $20 pair of jeans. Yes, expensive for jeans 30 years ago but not in comparison to a $130+ Nintendo DS, where each game costs between $15-30! There is even a service similar to Netflix called “GameFly” where you can rent games for an unlimited amount of time, but with a monthly fee attached.

My husband and I have been intensely debating this “DS” issue and how to make it purposeful. During this time, with my assistance, but with my son’s own money, he bought an accessory kit for a DS he doesn’t even own yet. I suggested he could temporarily use it to carry his iPhone in, (which he constantly misplaces. More on that in a minute), and his response was, “No, Mommy. This case is ONLY for my DS.” The one he doesn’t have yet. He also has a DS game, this time with my husband’s assistance, but with my son’s money to purchase it. (This kid has been offering and doing quite a lot of extra chores around and outside of the house).

Right now many of you are thinking, “But both you and your husband are in the position of Enablers! You are giving this child what he wants, but in a circumferous way!” Yes, and no. We made a deal with our son that he has to save up his own money to pay for half of whichever DS he wants. At a starting price of $130, that’s a lot of saving. And the cruel part of this is that Nintendo has just released a 3D DS game, which costs close to $300. And guess which kid is going to be one of only four kids in the whole school who does not have a 3D DS game, six months from now? You guessed correctly.

Now, here’s what I don’t quite understand. My son uses my old iPhone, which he plays pre-approved games on. There are probably close to 100 games on this little gadget, so you don’t have to carry (and risk losing) any of the games. Most of the games were either free or close to $.99. Many of them are quite similar to DS games. And the best part? My son’s phone is wirelessly connected to a service I have for my own iPhone, where if it gets lost, I can lock it down so that it cannot be used and even post my husband’s work number on the screen with a message saying, “If found, please call xxx....” Try doing that with a DS!

There is also another concern I have. Children with Auditory Processing Disorder and ADD, like my son, are notorious for losing and misplacing things. I can’t tell you how many mad dashes there have been, on most mornings, looking for my husband’s keys (he also has ADD). I even put up a key holder for him to put his keys on when he walked in the door. He never used it. We use it for dog leashes now. My point is, why give a kid, who is prone to misplacing/losing things, an expensive item, which has styluses which can easily get lost, game cartridges which could easily be lost, heck, the whole DS could easily be lost! But as a Mother who has continually allowed her son to take chances and face the consequences when necessary, I am allowing my son to have his DS. If he has to work to obtain it, he might covet it enough to limit losing all of the little accessories. And he will have to pay for whichever accessories he does lose. And if he loses the actual Nintendo DS, I will comfort his loss, but will not replace it.

It is going to be a few months before my son saves up enough money to buy whichever DS he chooses. In the meantime, we will be working on responsibility. Coming home with a forgotten lunch tote or rain jacket is not conducive to being a responsible person. However, my son didn’t purchase those items himself. We have an interesting test coming up in our lives.

Stay tuned...I am certain there will be more to come!

Sundays, Sundays - By Cara Potapshyn Meyers

Mothers think about their children (no matter how old) day & night. Mothers love their children in a way they'll never understand. Mothers will be there for their children when no one else will. Mothers would take a bullet, jump in front of a train or ask God to take them instead of their child. If you have children you love as much as I love mine, post this as your status.

I hate Sundays. I actually loathe Sundays. I even begin to hate Sunday on Saturday. Why would anyone hate a nice, lazy, weekend day?? Because my husband has designated Saturdays as his day to spend with my son and therefore I get to spend all day on Sunday with my son. 

Now, on the surface, that appears fair and equitable. But in reality, it is far from it. My husband doesn’t sleep at home on Friday nights. He comes by to pick up my son around 8:30 - 9:00 am and brings him home roughly 12 hours later. On the contrary, my husband leaves for the gym at 7 am on Sundays when my son just awakens, and lately has gotten home close to or after 11 pm. And many times, my son waits until my husband comes home to tell him something exciting or ask him a question. Unless it is an emergency, my husband has made it clear that he is unavailable to speak or text with during the day. And the few times I have tried, I have gotten a response hours later.

The quip above had been floating around Facebook on Sunday. Although I was having one of the worst days with my son, I still felt, deep down inside that this still applied. But my comment underneath was, “VERY debatable.” I was having a really rough day with my son. And with no help and also 2 dogs to care for, it made for an even more challenging day.

The day started with a urine soaked bamboo bath mat and equally soaked bathroom floor. Need I say more? My son was distracted by something and wasn’t watching where he was “aiming.” My husband had left already and I was left to roll up and dispose of the mat and scrub down the entire bathroom floor. All at 7 am, sans even coffee. I can assure you that my husband has never had to begin “his” day with my son this way. And there have been other days when I have woken up to changing my son’s urine soaked bedding and have had to strip his bed at 7 am and do loads of laundry and re-make his bed. My therapists all claim that this is all a result of the psychological dynamics going on within our household. Yet I am always the one left to do the “dirty work,” as most mothers are.

The day only became worse. My son had a bad cold, so I felt that he needed a day of relaxation. This “relaxation” day tumbled into a day of tantrums and meltdowns...both his and mine. He “lost” a Pokemon/Bakugan/Yu Gi Oh card. There were cards strewn all over his bed, his desk and the floor. I tried to remain calm and got some gallon size Baggies and black markers. We identified each bag for each appropriate set of cards and sorted the cards into their respective bags. This alone took almost an hour and a half. And did we find my son’s “lost” card? Of course we did! In his pants pocket as I was sorting laundry to do!

Then there were meltdowns. My son waits until he is starving before he tells me he is hungry and “can’t wait” for me to make his meal (a carry over from when he was a baby. There were never any whimpers of uncomfortableness when he needed a bottle. He needed it yesterday and warmed yesterday! And his ear-piercing screams let you know it!). Then he didn’t like what the meal looked like, thus tasted like. So there were more meltdowns (mine) and tantrums (his). I ended up telling him that if he could find food to eat in the house (I had to go food shopping badly), he could eat. If he didn’t want the meal I made him and he couldn’t find anything to eat, he’d have to go hungry. A bunch of hunger-induced nasty insults were hurled my way (I say “hunger-induced” because my son has never spoken to me that way before. And after this past Sunday, I can promise you, he never will again.)

The dogs were taking their daily naps and he pounced on them. They, in turn, snarled at him (I would too if someone woke me up from a sound sleep!). His feelings got hurt terribly, so he spent a good half hour crying on the living room couch.

And the day gradually ended with a comment from my son that, at this point, not only made me laugh at the absurdity of it, but also gave me time for myself! My son said, “Mommy, I think you need to go to bed earlier because you’ve been cranky lately.” So I gladly responded, “Well, then I better get ready to go to bed around 10 o’clock so that I get a really good night of sleep and not wake up cranky!” To my surprise, my son didn’t balk when I said that I couldn’t hold his hand as he fell asleep. I meditated myself to sleep in my own bed. And ultimately, really did get a good night of sleep! And I made sure that I was bright and chipper in the morning so that my son would think that my going to bed early...his idea...was working!

It is a good thing that we have plans for the next four Sundays so that we can at least get out of the house! But at least you now have a glimpse of how horrible Sundays can be for me and why I hate them so much.

How much longer until my son graduates from high school??

34 Weeks...and so then what? by Liimu

Yeah, that's right, I said it. I am now officially at the point where I can say that this baby is coming "next month," the nursery is officially ready, my eldest daughter has moved herself into the baby room, I've had flowers delivered to my hospital room in advance (so I don't have to rely on anyone else to do it), my baby shower is scheduled...and so guess what?

I'm already on to the next thing. I'm a hot mess in this way, but hey - that's who I am. Always thinking about the next thing. That's why alcohol and I could never be friends. Because I'd be drinking whatever drink, not fully able to ever enjoy it, so focused was I on where I'd get the next one from. Just keeping it real, folks.

So, I am coming to the end of this HUGE, life-altering, completely unexpected and totally fulfilling project, creating this new person to join our family. I have loved nearly every minute of it, too. (Not the stepping on the scale part, but pretty much everything else. Oh, and that was definitely balanced out by finally getting the clear skin I've coveted for 15 years.) And now that I'm coming to the end of that project, and now that my consulting business - the bread and butter business for me - I'm able to start thinking about my other love project that came before this little guy came on the scene - my music. For those of you who don't know, I've been singing for many years, my claim to fame was having a lead solo in Patti Labelle's choir on the 2007 series, Clash of the Choirs. Since then, I've been working with one of Patti's producers to get back into songwriting and performing my own songs, and am working on an EP and full-length album with a band full of some of the best musicians in the country, including my very own husband.

I know my husband thought maybe the dream had ended before it began. I tried to tell him it was just a matter of time before we got things back on track. And now, now that the end is nigh, and this baby will be here before we know it, now I can start to rekindle my musical fire. So, I'm back on Facebook and Myspace, writing again, even poking around about where we can play next. Now, if I can just figure out how to get that pre-baby body back! How I wish I had appreciated it while I had it!

Having Fun on Facebook - By Cara Potapshyn Meyers

I must admit. I have absolutely no holiday spirit whatsoever. In fact, I was going to write this blog about my lethargic attitude regarding the Holidays and title it, “Skipping Christmas.” Then something unexpected, magical and all out FUN happened on Facebook a few nights ago!

I know many of you use Facebook as a source to either connect with friends and/or relatives. I do the same. Some of you even use it as a business avenue, as Motherhood Later does. Then there are those of us who love to play a couple of the games on Facebook. Yes, I hear the groans. But keep reading because you will at least enjoy the story!

I am a Farmville devote (I hear more groans, but also some cheers!). Since my life has been a whirlwind of chaos and stress over the past year and a half, I have gone onto Facebook and entered my farm site and when I am there, it is almost as if I am living in a different world. I can pick and choose how I want to decorate my farm. Decide what I want to participate in. And feel a sense of accomplishment as I watch my farm grow and beautify.

I started out with about three farm neighbors. Your farm neighbors help you tend to your farm and you reciprocate. Over this past year and a half, I have resurrected a forgotten friendship with a friend I worked with years ago. I also have her husband as a neighbor. This friend introduced me to several other farmers who wanted neighbors...people I’ve never met, but have had lovely conversations with outside of Farmville through the messaging medium. My best friend is my neighbor and has asked if I would take on several of her farm neighbors as well. They are funny, sweet people I would have never have met or known otherwise. I even have a set of teen twins as neighbors! Who would have thought??

There also seem to be patterns as to when certain neighbors play. There is the early morning group who play before they go to work (I know because my iPhone “dings” when they leave me a message on my farm site!). There are the mid-late afternoon players who want to get their “fix” in before they have to settle into their evening routines. Then there are the late night/early morning farmers. I typically fall into this category as my son doesn’t fall asleep until close to 10pm. Finally there are the “night owls,” who don’t start playing until 1am and go to 3 or 4am (again, my phone dings, so I know!).

Well, a few nights ago, I started out as a late-nighter, and ended up a “night owl!” Farmville puts various “missions” out at random points in time. Usually these missions involve collecting materials from your neighbors to build a barn or expand a chicken coop, etc. On this particular night, out came something new and different! This new mission was to build a snowman and have a snowball fight while you are doing it! I was having such a blast throwing snowballs at neighbors as they were quickly throwing them back, virtually! There must have been at least a half dozen of us playing all at the same time! You could barely get a snowball message posted when another snowball was virtually coming your way! At 1 am, no less! I was giggling and enjoying myself with my Farm Friends immensely!

The following morning, I entered my farm getting virtually smacked in the face by the early risers! The fun continued!

So, although I still may not be in the Holiday spirit, this game has certainly gotten me into the Winter spirit! At this point, I’ll take any spirit I can get!

(“Splat”...Ugh! They got me again!)

Gratitude and Reclaiming Family - By Cara Potapshyn Meyers

For those of you who read my blog last week, you may recall how disappointed I was going to a restaurant for the first time ever for Thanksgiving. I mentioned that I was invited by cousins to go for dinner at an upscale restaurant. My son was also invited, but I didn’t think that he could sit for such a prolonged period of time with only adults. I made the decision to have my son go with my husband to his mother’s for Thanksgiving, where there would be other children for my son to play with, rather than be the only child, at a table, in a stuffy restaurant. It was the perfect decision!

From what I was told, my son had a splendid time with the two other boys at my in-law’s! He had such a good time that one family was sleeping over, so my son wanted to sleep over too! My husband came back to our house, collected items for my son’s overnight bag, and my husband and son stayed over my in-law’s Thanksgiving night!

I had my own fabulous time! I love getting together with my cousins because we always end up talking nonstop! And talk we did! We ended up taking most of our meals to go because we just couldn’t stop yakking! The bites of food I did try, were certainly delectable! I was shocked that this restaurant was able to produce a Thanksgiving dinner even better than I have ever had at home! It was beyond delicious! In any event, I digress.

I brought with me downloaded photos of family on my father’s side, from Michigan, who “found” me on Facebook. Last summer, the wife of my second cousin sent me a message asking if I was the daughter of Michael Potapshyn (just how many “Potapshyns” are there, really?). I responded that I was. Ever since, I have been corresponding with his wife (Maggie), her three daughters, and another second cousin who lives in California! As my cousins and I perused through the pictures, we unanimously decided that our other female cousin, who lives in Florida, looks exactly like Maggie’s middle daughter! And furthermore, my cousins then looked at Maggie’s first-born daughter and declared that I look very much like her! When I sent a message to Maggie later that evening, relating this observation, she said that she looked closely at some photos of me and of her eldest daughter, and that she agreed that there was a strong resemblance!

As our 5-course meal was concluding, and take-home bags were piling up, we decided to forgo dessert in the restaurant, as one of my cousins had an entire buffet of desserts waiting for us at her home. Still chatting away, we made our way back to her house. Once inside, as my cousins were setting up the “buffet,” I walked around the living room admiring my cousin’s taste in decoration. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted two photos on an end table that I had seen before, but not at my cousin’s house. When my father lived by himself, he had two ancient photos on his desk. Both photos were of his family circa 1920. In one of the photos, my father was a toddler, holding onto his father’s knee. My father at that age looked like the spitting image of my son when my son was a toddler! When my father became too elderly to manage living alone, we moved him closer to us. And in packing his belongings, I have a feeling he threw out those two photos.

I looked in every box, every drawer, every cabinet, and every closet, in search of those photos! I asked my father, whose memory was not very good at the time, if he knew what happened to those two photos. He couldn’t recall. Once my father passed away, I gave his home a complete and thorough going through, but to my utter disappointment, never found those photos. I was devastated.

Now, here were those same two photos, sitting on my cousin’s table! I became so excited, I squealed! My cousin thought something was wrong, but in my excitement, I joyously exclaimed, “You have them!! You have the pictures my father also had but I thought he threw them away!!” She joined in with my excitement and said, “Let’s scan them into the computer right now and e-mail them to you, so that you have copies of them!” There was excitement abound as we were scanning! We saw a very close resemblance of our paternal Grandfather to one of my cousins! We all knew that the oldest child died in childhood of an illness, but all of us were given conflicting stories. We were like kids again, sharing excitement over something that meshed us together! It was a fantastic, memorable moment!

Next my cousin went through a drawer and found photos of our parents with their family when our parents were probably in their 20s! My cousin had 4 of that particular photo, so she gave one to me, which I plan to scan into my computer for safekeeping!

I think the most important reason why I was so overjoyed by the discovery of these photos was really for my son. My father passed away when my son was 3 1/2. However my son still remembers my father vividly. I want to show my son the photo of his “Poppy” when Poppy was a toddler. And then put a photo of my son as a toddler next to it to show my son how similar they both looked at that same age! I also want my son to know that he has family other than my in-laws. I am an “only child” and my parents are both deceased. But we still have family of mine that lives close by as well as newfound family that lives in Michigan! And I would like to take my son to visit the “Michigan side of the family” at some point in time!

So, all told, I had an unexpectantly marvelous Thanksgiving, on so many levels! Sharing newfound relatives, spending quality time with existing ones, finding old photos of family that is now deceased and obtaining copies of these photos as keepsakes to share with my son! How more grateful could one possibly get?!

Well, there is one more thing I was grateful for. Delicious leftovers from our incredible meal the next day!!

Children as Individuals - By Cara Potapshyn Meyers

I came upon a post on Facebook from a friend last week that brought up a topic that elicited quite a few comments...most of them pretty intense.

The gist of the post was that teachers don’t see children as individuals. (This coming from a teacher, no less!!) We already know how I feel regarding my son’s teacher (see last week’s blog), but here was a thread of responses mirroring the very issue I brought up last week.

My friend did not express that ALL teachers present themselves in this manner. She did, however, give an example of how the teachers in a particular situation in my son’s school, completely disregarded a child’s needs because it went against their agenda. This frustrated the child and caused a huge scene. Many angry Moms related similar stories or validated the posts that were written.

So I asked myself, if this is going on with children other than my son, (and yes, it could just be our particular school, even though the school district is listed as one of the top 25 in the nation), what is going on in other schools? And how can teachers see their students as individuals? When I explained to a cousin that there were only 17 children in my son’s class, her response was, “Seventeen!!! When my daughter was in 2nd Grade (10 years ago), she had close to 30! How can children in a class of 17 NOT get more individualized attention?!” Good question!

So I investigated how teachers can see their students as individuals, and came up with this list:

The 9 Temperament Traits

Classic child development research conducted by Doctors Chess and Thomas has identified 9 temperamental traits:

Activity Level: This is the child's "idle speed” or how active the child is generally. Is the child always on the go? Or, does the child prefer sedentary quiet activities? Highly active children may channel such extra energy into success in sports; may perform well in high-energy careers and may be able to keep up with many different responsibilities.

Distractibility: The degree of concentration and paying attention displayed when a child is not particularly interested in an activity. This trait refers to the ease with which external stimuli interfere with ongoing behavior. Does the child become sidetracked easily when attempting to follow routine or working on some activity? High distractibility is seen as positive when it is easy to divert a child from an undesirable behavior but seen as negative when it prevents the child from finishing school work.

Intensity: The energy level of a response whether positive or negative. Does the child show pleasure or upset strongly and dramatically? Or does the child just get quiet when upset? Intense children are more likely to have their needs met and may have depth and delight of emotion rarely experienced by others. These children may be gifted in dramatic arts. Intense children tend to be exhausting to live with.

Regularity: The trait refers to the predictability of biological functions like appetite and sleep. Does the child get hungry or tired at predictable times? Or, is the child unpredictable in terms of hunger and tiredness? As grown-ups irregular individuals may do better than others with traveling as well as be likely to adapt to careers with unusual working hours.

Sensory Threshold: Related to how sensitive this child is to physical stimuli. It is the amount of stimulation (sounds, tastes, touch, temperature changes) needed to produce a response in the child. Does the child react positively or negatively to particular sounds? Does the child startle easily to sounds? Is the child a picky eater or will he eat almost anything? Does the child respond positively or negatively to the feel of clothing? Highly sensitive individuals are more likely to be artistic and creative.

Approach/Withdrawal: Refers to the child's characteristic response to a new situation or strangers. Does the child eagerly approach new situations or people? Or does the child seem hesitant and resistant when faced with new situations, people or things? Slow-to-warm up children tend to think before they act. They are less likely to act impulsively during adolescence.

Needless to say, my son falls high in every one of these categories. But does that make him a “bad” child? Not at all. In fact, if you channel these traits in positive directions, you can help a child reach even more than their potential. And these temperamental traits are not only helpful for teachers. Parents can use the same information to help see their children as the individuals their children are and channel their attributes appropriately.

I feel that both teachers and parents need to work together when a child has high needs in each of these temperamental traits. It CAN be done. But both sides must be willing to work together for the sake of the child! Ignoring or demeaning a child with high temperamental traits just leads to a combustible situation, as my Facebook friend relayed. Wouldn’t it be far easier and less stressful to use these traits and apply them to the children teachers are working with, so that a positive outcome or resolution of a problem can be quietly resolved?

Is this really too much to ask of a teacher?

Is this really too much to ask of us all?

A Very Special Place - By Cara Potapshyn Meyers

I experienced another stressful and unexpected event in my life last week. I think I am getting used to all of these stressful and unexpected events that occur almost daily, if not weekly. This one, however, truly touched my soul. And it pertains to my dog, Maxi. My favorite of my two dogs. My “doggie soul mate,” if you will. Yet, unlike all of the other stressful and unexpected events that have been occurring in my life, this one has a very happy ending. However, I digress.

Last Thursday my husband and I took our dog, Maxi, for a check up. I knew going into the appointment that I had many questions and some anxiety about certain issues Maxi was experiencing. The biggest of those issues was that Maxi had 3 golf ball size fatty lipomas in his upper chest. We had one biopsied a year ago, which turned out to be benign. However, over the past year, Maxi developed two more, with one extending under his armpit. The Veterinarian who examined him last year, was concerned about the spreading of the lipoma because he told us that if the lipoma spread much more under the arm pit, it could put pressure on some nerves that run through the arm pit area and cause some nerve function difficulties, possibly making it difficult for Maxi to walk.

Maxi had other issues as well: He had something on his chest that looked like a Melanoma. He had a growth on one of his front paws that he licked constantly. The licking was causing a minor infection. He also had dental problems. And to my surprise, there was a mass growing on Maxi’s gums that the doctors were most concerned and suspicious of. And all of this had to be taken into consideration with Maxi’s age of 12 years old.

Knowing that Maxi is truly my dog, my husband deferred the decision of Maxi having surgery to me. And I had the option of having some of the issues taken care of, all of the issues dealt with, or do nothing. I asked the Vet what the procedure would entail if I decided to have everything taken care of. He outlined step by step what Maxi would be going through. Additionally, because we would having the surgery at this Veterinary Hospital, we were also told that we could leave Maxi for a few days in their “Rehab” area. In that area, he would be watched 24 hours a day by a Vet and assistant staff who would be doing all of the aftercare for Maxi such as change bandages, give medication, etc. That sealed the deal in my mind. Because we have another dog in our home along with a rambunctious child, I was enamored with the fact that Maxi would be in the main hospital facility for two days and then transferred to “rehab” after that for several days of aftercare. I gave the Vet the go ahead as my poor dog sat on my feet, trembling, and looking up to me for reassurance. I bent down, hugged him close and with as much mind power that I could muster, I told Maxi, through my eyes, that he would be perfectly fine, but that I would be there for him and he would absolutely be coming back home to me. I could swear I felt him trembling a little less after that.

Due to the fact that my husband had to go back to work, and we came with only one car, my husband drove me home so that I could get my own car along with my laptop to keep my mind distracted with busywork during the surgery.

As I was driving back to the hospital, the Vet called me on my cell phone to say that they took blood from Maxi and did chest x-rays to see if the lipomas has spread to a more dangerous or complicated degree. I was told that Maxi’s blood work was like “that of a puppy,” which meant that he would probably withstand anesthesia well. And the chest x-rays showed the lipomas with the spreading of tissue under the armpit, but nothing that looked dangerous. This meant Maxi was cleared for surgery.

From start to finish, the surgery took 6 hours. And this incredible Vet took the time to come out and explain what had been done with each issue that needed intervention. He was calm, warm, caring and compassionate. I needed this Vet as the one to oversee Maxi’s surgery. Heck, I needed this Vet to oversee me!

I prayed for a good outcome every step of the way. I asked God to watch over Maxi because besides my son, Maxi is all I have in this world. I wrote on Facebook for my friends to please pray for Maxi. I received an outpouring of well wishes and speedy recovery messages from that post, along with messages to help me think positively. My friends are a huge part of my world. They comforted me to no end.

And now for the special part. Once the surgery was over, the Vet came out to tell me how successful everything went. He knew I looked drained. I hadn’t eaten anything all day, as I felt nauseous throughout the whole 6-hour ordeal. He helped me pack up my things and told me to go home and that I could call later to check up on Maxi. I could have kissed this man. He was a hero in my eyes.

Now, the fact that this animal hospital has a “rehab” center is amazing in and of itself. It also has a boarding facility where healthy dogs are boarded when their owners go away. We board both of our dogs there too. And the staff in the boarding facility love Maxi just as much (well, maybe not just as much) as I do. When I spoke to the clerical staff, they put me on the phone with one of the young men who I knew well from the boarding area. He told me how well Maxi was doing. He also told me that he crawled into Maxi’s cage and laid down with him for about 15 minutes and rubbed Maxi’s back as Max gave this young man a “face bath.” I was shocked. Where would someone at an animal hospital get into an animal’s cage to comfort them? I told this young man that I absolutely couldn’t thank him enough and that he made my evening much less stressful knowing that someone gave my dog some extra attention.

The next day, Maxi was doing so well, that instead of spending two days in the hospital facility, Maxi was going to be transferred to the “rehab” facility a day early. When I spoke with another young man who happened to also love Maxi, he told me how well Max was doing and offered to take a couple pictures of Maxi with his cell phone and e-mail them to me (see below). I was blown away!! Where in the world would employees take the time to take a picture of your animal for you while in the hospital and e-mail them to you?? I told him he made my day like he couldn’t imagine.

And the most important thing was not only the love, caring and attention Maxi received, but that the same doctor called every single day, right after he finished “rounds” to give me a medical update on Maxi! I am blown away by this incredible and amazing facility. I have had family members in real hospitals that never received this level of care and attention!! And to even track down a doctor, any doctor, to find out how your family member was doing was a full-time job in and of itself!

My Maxi will probably be home and resting on my bed as you read this. I needed to share this incredible situation because I kept thinking, “What if it was my son who had this type of surgery?” I would be allowed to stay in his room and hold his little hand, but would he get the same level of caring, love and compassion from the employees? Would he be made to feel as “special,” as my dog was? To be quite honest, I highly doubt it. I do know that Pediatric hospital staff tends to have more compassion and caring than employees who take care of the adult staff. But to find such exceptional care for a dog is beyond incredible. Perhaps actual medical staff that takes care of people should do rotations at this veterinary hospital. Maybe medicine, like old dogs, could be taught some necessary new tricks.

I would like to thank the entire staff at the Long Island Veterinary Specialists hospital. Every single employee made me and my dog feel special and cared for. The surgical team was exemplary. The rehab employees were priceless. And a very special thank you to Anthony and Eric for loving my dog as if he was their own!