Sunday, January 23, 2011

I’m Coming Back In… Cyma Shapiro

A few weeks ago, I wrote that I was not enjoying being a mother. My children were grappling with issues, our lives had become complicated; we had also experienced a few tragedies. All of this compounded my feeling that without a happy home, life had just become…well…just too hard.
I’m happy to say that, in our therapist’s terms, I’m “coming back in” to our lives. Things are ironing themselves out (as they often do), and I’m now aware that time is passing and I must keep pace.
I’ve often written that for me, being a midlife mother brings a razor-sharp awareness that life will not go on forever. I never recognized this; at midlife, and with children, I most certainly do.
It’s SO easy to forget about the good, small things that happen daily as children grow. It’s SO easy to get mired in daily problems and yearly concerns. It’s SO easy to feel like the issues of today will still be the issues of tomorrow; our children’s angst will continue on into infinity, etc. etc.
The truth is that they grow and, hopefully, we grow (up) too!
Today, I will remind myself again of how happy I am to be a midlife mother; how happy I am to be sharing my life with my children; how happy I am for the people they are becoming.
Here’s my deal: Exercise, exercise, exercise. Pray, pray, pray. Meditate, meditate, meditate.
I try sooooooo hard to keep it all together.

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Blogger Laura Houston said...

I'm going to follow your advice to yourself. I find this to be the most challenging time of the year. Especially with the temperature at 10 degrees. Thanks for passing out some tools to dig out of the hole of January in NYC.

5:03 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

Wow this resonates with me so much. Thanks for your honesty. For a few months, when my daughter was a tad over one year, I did not like being a mom, and I felt incredible guilty, and doubted my ability to do a good job. I thought I couldn't wait for her to go to school and that the difficult times would never lift. Now here it is - January, 2 years later - and the time to decide on her pre-school schedule. My angst now is having her away from me for a few hours each day! Starting a support group a few years back really helped. I loved reading this.

5:21 AM  

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