Finding My Happy Place by Liimu

Years ago, when my brother's branding business was thriving on Park Avenue, I remember us sitting at a fancy NYC restaurant called "America" while he grilled me on my plans for the future. "Be the best at whatever you do," he advised, unsolicited. "If you're going to be a singer, be the BEST singer. A teacher, hell, a janitor - whatever it is just don't settle for being anything less than the BEST."

I finished chewing my yummy mouthful of food, then turned to him and said, "See, that's the difference with you and me. You're so concerned with being the BEST at whatever you do, at beating out all the competition. I just want to be HAPPY."

I don't know if it's a disservice to my children that I still feel this way to this day. Sure, kids like the Jacksons rose to stardom after being pushed by their parents to be the best - of course, we also know the sad, darker side of that story. Now, I'm not saying that encouraging your children to be the best they can be is a bad thing, or that it generally leads to an unhappy adulthood. Quite the contrary - I think kids who are supported to follow their dreams with unbridled passion to be the best they can be grow up to be hugely successful. I think that whether or not they grow up to be happy has to do with whether or not happiness is ALSO a priority. I want my children to be the best they can be AND be happy, not regardless of whether or not they are happy. In fact, if we have to choose, I'm choosing happiness.

We have tons of enrichment summer camps to choose from in our area - I offered to send my kids to Future Stars, which offers science programs, computer programs, drama and music, or to send them to theater camp. They preferred to go to the camp they go to every year, at Ardsley Community Center, where they play card games and make string bracelets with their friends, learn songs with all kinds of fancy hand movements, go on weekly field trips to amusement parks and walk about 2 miles to the community pool twice a week. They have a July 4 parade, a carnival, and even a Nickelodeon-style set of games where they all get slimed with green goo. They see their friends from preschool (who they don't go to school with and miss all year) and basically overdose all summer long on activity and fun.

When I was a kid, we didn't go to camp in the summer. We just hung out and went to the community pool, saw our friends, relaxed and had fun. It's not for everyone, but I want my kids to grow up feeling like having fun is just as important as achieving academic excellence. Our family believes in a balance of work and play - for everyone.

Summer Vacation and Silver Lining ... by Liimu

Ah....the honeymoon period. I am officially at the end of the 2nd trimester as I will be 13 weeks tomorrow. As a result, I have only the slightest lingering nausea and only the fatigue associated with having three small children and carrying around an extra 20 pounds. (Yep, you heard me...I gain a lot of weight when I'm preggo. What can I say?)

So, last week was our family vacation to Sea Isle. It was idyllic. We had gorgeous views of the ocean and bay and were renting a house right across from the beach. The kids had a fantastic time, especially the times we went to the boardwalk. I had remembered that there were certain rides you couldn't go on when pregnant. I hadn't realized it was pretty much ALL of them. In fact, here's a picture of the only ride I could go on without going against the posted warnings.

Despite my limitations, I had a great time. It was relaxing, the weather was hot and sunny, I had an adorable maternity bathing suit I got from Target right before we left, my family was getting along like something out of a Disney movie, and I didn't even have to work (...much). Then, my skin started breaking out. Bad. I was like, COME ON. I've already dealt with lost weekends where all I can do is eat and sleep (okay - that probably doesn't sound so bad to those of you who haven't experienced morning sickness before, but trust me - it's not the life of leisure it sounds like). I feel HUGE, even compared to women who are due in a month or two. Now I have to deal with this? Fortunately, I frequent the BabyCenter bulletin boards and I posted that I was having trouble. A couple women recommended a product you can get over the counter called Cetaphil and I bought it while I was down in Sea Isle. My skin cleared up almost overnight!!! I am in LOVE with this product. I'm still using it and intend to KEEP using it even after the baby comes. Hurrah!

So, all is well. There is always a silver lining in every dark cloud. I might not have gone on all the fantastic water rides if it hadn't been for the sucky amusement park situation. I might never have tried Cetaphil if my skin hadn't been going crazy. I am still trying to find the silver lining in my colossal weight gain, but I guess the nightly ice cream cones will have to suffice. Oh, and the beautiful baby I get at the end of this whole thing. Believe me, the miraculous blessing of this fourth child has not been lost on anyone in my family. My children kiss my belly goodnight every night and kiss it goodbye every day when they go off to school. We are all eagerly anticipating his/her arrival and I am really grateful to be able to share this part of his/her life with all of you.

Until next week, everyone....Happy Fall!!!