A Shout Out For Perseverance by Maureen Eich VanWalleghan

Recently, I had two appointments with a “spiritual coach.” A woman whom I know through my film work. I knew that she did other things besides acting and one day I bumped into her card on my desk. It was in a basket and I sifted passed it as I was looking for another little piece of paper. Since I am at a place where I am feeling the rejection of not yet having my short film accepted into any of the biggy film festivals where I submitted, six rejects so far...I have been feeling a little deflated. And having an English course not make this semester, I have also been struggling to keep a head of my portion of the family expenses. Just a little beat up is how I am feeling these days.

After my second appointment (which she let me do at a very much reduced rate) she told me I needed to watch Finding Nemo. So I put that on my list of “to do”s. Lucky for me my five year old kept asking to watch it after I brought it home. So the beauty of this site, Motherhood Later, is that most readers will be somewhat familiar with Finding Nemo, possibly having watched in the very recent past, say...maybe last night or last week even. Or maybe the movie is irrevocably burned into their memory center since it was played an inordinate number of times as a favorite movie. It’s easy to see how this might happen with the catchy music and brightly colored animation that children so love.

I had seen if before, but I don’t remember when or why. So my daughter and I watched it. If ever there was a movie about perseverance this is it. The father’s search for Nemo and his task to overcome obstacles and his own fear of the unknown was inspiring. Nemo himself is brave and also inspiring, but at this moment on my own personal journey, the father for obvious reasons is where my mind rested. Thinking of my process to change careers and fully embrace my dream to make money doing what I love—writing and making films—is proving an arduous task fraught with many internal obstacles, not the least of which is believing I can do it...meaning make money at it.

The thing that is most intense is being a mid-lifer stuck in the middle of this tight economy. Before I was a wife and mother, I never hurt for work. Now in the last five years I am “over the proverbial hill” and struggling in ways I could never have fathomed. Anyway, watching Finding Nemo reminded me that if I just keep plugging away in my process no matter how slowly I will eventually get to my end goal of supporting myself as a writer and filmmaker. It was a fifteen year journey before I got myself into and through film school. And now, I do have a unique short film to show for it. A film I really love and that I am very happy to have made. It is my vision.

So in an attempt to “keep swimming, just keep swimming’’ I have decided to let folks see my work on my Vimeo site. It is a moment of being brave and throwing myself into the big blue ocean. Maybe someone will see my work and realize that they have a project that I could do for them. Or maybe a few comments of encouragement will come my way. The journey is long and fraught with danger, mostly imagined. Also I am not swimming in my home turf of NYC, but rather very deep into unknown waters of rural Arizona. I don’t just bump into potential clients. The WAHM situation is always tough, but all the more difficult when finding work. It's not like so many little morsels of work can be plucked at will. So if any reader wanted to check out my work then head over to Vimeo. My student assignment is less than three minutes. The fundraising video is a seven minute investment (my first scriptwriting project ever.) And, my short film, entitled A Blue Uncertain Buzz, is a 13 minute investment in time, but be prepared for crying. It is intense and emotional. Click the link (Maureen Eich VanWalleghan) or paste http://www.vimeo.com/user6053203 into the browser bar.

Here's to swimming deeper into the unknown. Think of Ellen DeGeneres here, singing: "I am just going to keep swimming, keep swimming, keep writing, keep writing, keep working, keep working." My dream to become a WAHM working as a writer and filmmaker can happen...I'm just not sure how long it will take to actualize that.

Feeling the WAH in WAHM...by Liimu

When I was pregnant, I bragged to people that with my fourth child, I had every intention of getting back to work as soon as possible, stopping throughout my day to snuggle or breastfeed my new baby - a true Work at Home Mom (WAHM). I likened myself to those field workers in the early twentieth century who were said to give birth among the rows of corn, and then continue to shuck and pick alongside the rest of their crew, with the new baby suckling at their breast. Slightly ambitious a plan, I had no idea how hard it would be to execute. My youngest child is 4.5 years old - I barely remember what those early days were like.

Although I do remember that I put together (and got approval for) a very involved proposal that would allow me to work from home for three months following the birth, transitioning back slowly to the office. I also remember one day being on a company-wide conference call, during which the president of our division of J&J was speaking, when my two-month old daughter began to wail and scream. I reached down to try to quiet her, bringing the phone right next to her face, not realizing I had not put the phone on mute. My mistake was painfully evident when the CEO stopped to say to the group: "Could someone please quiet that baby or put their phone on mute??" Why I thought managing number 4 alongside work would be that much easier than number 3, I have no idea.

So, now with little Max nearing his week 5 birthday, I'm struggling just a little bit to manage it all. This blog, business development (to ensure that I have a job for which to come out of maternity leave), a small projecct that began last week, not to mention all the work involved with taking care of him - figuring out breastfeeding, sleep deprivation, pumping, and so much more. And before you guys all jump all over me to tell me to slow down and enjoy this time, I am. I really am. I'm napping with him whenever I get a chance (like right after I finish this blog), I'm spending time with my husband, and I sat down yesterday with my mother's helper to let her know that after our vacation next week, I'll officially be off maternity leave and ready for her to really start helping with Max during the day so I can work in earnest.

But WAAAAAHHH!!!!! For the first time in my 10 years of motherhood, I am sort of wishing I were a stay at home mom, instead of a work at home mom. I am so in love with this baby and totally enjoying being completely devoted to him (and his sisters, when they're home). But honestly, I have a glorious, blessed life and I love what I do. And I'm fortunate enough to be very successful at it, so rather than lament my situation, I'm jumping in with both feet. And believe me, I will be taking full advantage of the flexibility it affords. So when others are taking their coffee breaks or smoke breaks, I'll be taking my snuggle breaks and nursing breaks. And I'll be doing that for as long as I can before he's off and running in the other direction beginning the inevitable process of exploring his independence from me.

The Hellacious Day or Why Working From Home Isn’t Cake

Originally posted on WorkItMom's Entrepreneur Mom blog.

It is nighttime, but in Alaska, it is still light. I’m exhausted. Then suddenly, I remember that I forgot to post to this blog today. Where did the day go? And how did I run out of time?

If you are like me, working from home has its pros and cons. I still firmly believe that the positives greatly outweigh the negatives, however, if I look back at my day today, there were several times that working out of the home would have helped me get my work done.

By default, being in an office - especially with other people around - creates a different sense of urgency to your work, a need to adhere to the timelines of others, a strong sense of responsibility that others are depending on you and they are right there in the same office with you.

I’m not saying that because I work from home that I’m not motivated to do the work or that I ignore other’s people’s timelines or even that I don’t have a powerful sense of responsibility toward my colleagues and clients. But when I’m home, I can’t deny that the pull of life and family can sometimes be stronger than the needs of a client in another state or even another part of town.

If I worked in an office with others, I’d be torn by a pressing family need, however, I might not just drop everything at work and rush to take care of things. I’d set more boundaries. I’d have a steady schedule. Oh so I imagine.

To illustrate what I mean, here’s a sketch of my day today.

4:30am - Woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep. I was literally composing client proposals and blog posts in my head. “Go work on it if it will help,” said my husband. I did.

6:30am - Showered, made breakfast.

7:00am - Did some client work, answered emails, edited transcripts for my new podcast. Also Twittered off and on (would I be Twittering if I were at the office?).

8:30am - Baby wakes up. Feed baby. Wash baby. Dress baby. (Clearly if I were at the office now, someone else would be taking care of baby at this time or I’d have woken her up and she’d be at daycare by now.

9:30am - Made baby’s lunch, tried to get out the door for a good 20 minutes.

10:10am - Dropped baby off at daycare late. Rushed home.

10:30am - Did last minute promotions for a live event in Second Life with author Taran Rampersad.

11:00am - Moderated the live author chat in Second Life.

12:00pm - Finished editing podcast transcripts and printed them out. Set up baby’s bedroom as my makeshift studio because it is the only carpeted room in the house with the most things on the wall such as books and a zebra skin. (If I had an office, I’m sure I’d have a nice studio set up for podcasting, right?)

12:45pm - Check emails in between rehearsing podcast. The reporter from USA Today was trying to reach me to talk about my new podcast. I didn’t hear the phone ring at 12:30pm but there’s a message from her, too. Call her back immediately. (If I were in an office, I’d get her call, of course.)

1:15pm - Finish phone interview. Suddenly remember that I have an appointment with my acupuncturist at 2pm to address some bothersome health issues I’m having, and I haven’t started recording my podcast yet. Best laid plans. (If I were working in an office, I’d probably be scheduling my acupuncture appointments on the weekend rather than leaving work early. My health might end up taking a back seat to the work on my office desk.) Record my first podcast but cannot get to the second one.

1:55pm - Rush to appointment. Get a treatment and advice to get some blood work done through my nurse practitioner immediately.

3:00pm - Leave appointment and call my nurse practitioner. “Can you come in right now?” she asks. I quickly head across town to see her. (If I were working in an office and left mid-afternoon for an appointment, chances are I’d hurry back to the office immediately after and save a second appointment for another day).

3:45pm - Leave nurse practitioner’s office. What time is it? Time to pick baby up from daycare because husband will be at an all-day conference rest of week.

4:15pm - Pick up baby. Go to store for bread. Head home.

4:30pm - Clean up mess in kitchen from breakfast. Check emails in between, laptop on kitchen counter.

5:00pm - Start dinner. (If I worked in an office, I’d be leaving about this time.) Answer emails.

5:30pm - Husband home. Sneak a few more emails in then close computer.

6:00pm - Dinner with family. (This is a great thing about working from home - I’m always home for dinner.)

7:00pm - Fold laundry. Totally drained from the day. Chug Emergen-C vitamin drink. Try to lay down to rest.

8:00pm - Realize I forgot to post to this blog. Bring laptop to bed and start to write.

8:30pm - Must go find an image for blog post now. Want to go to sleep but every Tuesday night my husband and I watch a TV show together after the baby is in bed.

(If I worked at an office, I might bring work home with me. I might ignore my baby and my husband because the pressure to get the work done is too great.)

I’m almost done with my work today. I want to record my podcast but don’t think my brain will be able to handle it.

I can hear husband reading to baby in the living room.

I’m afraid I’m ignoring them.

The fantasy of working from home - the flexible schedule, the ability to spend more time with family - comes crashing down around me.