Are we ready?

My friend came for a visit. She took a tour of our place and commented how modern, clean, and well-kept it was. Then she declared that the place was not ready at all for a baby. She pointed out what could be done to make our place baby-ready: the bookshelves and the desk in the master bedroom have to go to make room for baby stuff....no, you can't have the baby in the room at the other end of the hallway, are you crazy? You will regret the several extra steps you will have to take to take care of the baby in the middle of the night.... the CD case and the 1000 CDs contained within have to go, unless you are happy to let the baby play with them as toys...of course, the baby will LOVE to teethe on them...the audio system has to go, or get a cabinet that has doors that can be locked!...(but where are all these stuff going to go? The basement and make it hands-off for babies? That's absurd!)....since the grand piano cannot move, you might as well make peace with the fact that the finish will be smudged all over with grease and drool.... I finally got in a word edge-wise, that I still have time to get ready, 14 weeks for that matter. In fact, I was planning to do all the baby-proofing business during the time period when the nesting instinct is supposed to kick in, conveniently around week 35?

Perhaps it is time for me to have a serious discussion with my husband. Maybe sometime next week or so...

Separation Anxiety

I think baby is finally developing separation anxiety - just as I'm getting ready to leave town for 4 days.

Today, I went to a morning meeting and she usually couldn't care less, playing with the babysitter and barely saying "bye." But this morning she started to fuss and cry. I've read that you aren't supposed to make a big deal about departures so I smiled, said "bye bye, I'll be back soon" and hurried out the door. I could hear her fussing as I walked down the driveway to get in my car.

It will be interesting to see how she reacts tonight when I go to the airport. She'll be with her dad so chances are things will go smoothly. But what about tomorrow when she wakes up and it is the babysitter greeting her instead of me? What then?

Maybe I'm having just a wee bit of separation anxiety myself!

Never Ending Vacation

You'll be glad to know that we had a blast at Hershey!

Yes, it was tiring, in terms of the territory to cover. But, it was worth it. We all had a really good time, and didn't OD on the chocolate. I have to say, it is my favorite theme park to date. We have yet to visit Disney with Seth, and some of the smaller ones, but Hershey is definitely on my list in terms of deserving a return visit.

And, being in the Amish country was a nice change of pace. We were on constant look out for corn fields, horse 'n buggies, cow grazing...and Seth's favorite, tractors. Buying a tractor is now on his list for "What Mom & Dad Should Buy Me."

There is a lot to be said for a vacation. While I was having withdrawal a bit from my computer, it was a welcome relief to get a break from it, though I do get email on my Treo phone.

We all slept in the same room in the hotel, and took turns sharing a bed with Seth. There was something sweet about it, and he actually slept later than he does at home, and didn't see any monsters during the night.

He reminded me of me when I was younger. He asked if we were going to stay at the hotel for a long time? He said he wants to stay there all the time.

I know what he means. When I was a child, and even now as an adult, I get sad when a vacation draw to a close. In fact, I start thinking about it knowing the end is near, and want to savor every moment. I especially feel that way now, sharing these special times with Seth. We are creating family memories, and it means that much more.

Going to the Store

I still seem to use going to the store as a way to kill time rather than just hanging around the house with the baby. She does fine, but I get restless. Right now, she is content watching her animal video - she brought it to me and made a little sound that sounded like a demand to watch it. She's fine but I'm antsy to do something.

It is only 2:20pm and hubby isn't home for another 2+ hours. So I have "going to the store" on the agenda. Sure, we need a little more formula, but the real reason is to break the monotony. Not that baby is boring - not in the least. But a lot of the time I still can't dial down my brain enough to just be here, at home, unable to do a lot of work once the babysitter is gone.

We need to get out. If the weather was nicer, I'd put her in the jogging stroller and take a nice walk. But it is cold and rainy again. So supermarket, here we come!

New at this

I've heard of blogs and bloggers, and keep track of a couple of blogs on a regular basis. I've toyed with the idea of blogging, but never got around to actually doing it, settling for "Why bother? Who would be interested?" Now here is a chance for me to ride on someone's coattails. Robin's and Aliza's, to be exact. So here it is, my very first blog, written during my very first pregnancy. And I'm 40. It's a great to be doing something new, just when I was verging on the smug feeling of "been there, done that" about most anything. Sure, there will be more new things thrown my way, in this journey to motherhood.

We had our very first meeting today. There were four of us, two mothers and two mothers-to-be. Like it naturally would for people meeting for the first time, our topics of conversation revolved around the logistics of pregnancy and motherhood. All of us agreed that it was a great idea to start a group of 35+ women entering motherhood. I look forward to our next meeting, which will take place next week.

Travels Without Baby

I am about to embark on a business trip without my husband and without my baby. I'm excited about it because I haven't attended a new media conference in a long time, and I'm going to BlogHer which I've wanted to attend for ages. The first year, I was pregnant with baby, the second year I had just given birth. So this is the year.

This is the first time I'm leaving baby for an extended period of time. This is way more than a day-long business trip. This is Thursday, Friday and Saturday nights away (coming back midnight on Sunday night). 3 nights of not waking up in the middle of the night because baby wants a bottle. Imagine that.

I also feel like a grown up again. I can travel solo. I can attend a conference. I can network. I can be like the me I was before having a baby - only 3 sizes larger and with less hair (post partum hair loss was very very bad to me).

I'm a little worried. Will baby be okay all day and night without me around? Or worse yet, will she not even notice I'm gone?

Bring on the Chocolate....Dark Please!

I am psyched...I think.

We are going away this weekend to Hershey, Pennsylvania with another family who has a son Seth's age. They are good friends, as we are with the parents, so I'm generally looking forward.

What's not to like? Chocolate is my weakness.

My concern is that it might be exhausting.

I spoke with my friend yesterday who has gone there before. I asked how long a drive it is from NY? She said...."Well....it should take around 3.5 hours...but with traffic, it could be 5." Yikes! I hate gridlock....and this will be the longest car trip we have taken with Seth.

A woman at my gym went to Hershey recently and said that she needed a vaction once she got home. No doubt it will be good exercise walking all over the park, and I'm sure Seth will adore it. But, I'm not a big fan of crowds and waiting on long lines, especially in the heat.

It is daunting how many theme parks there are for kids....especially those with water. And, as a parent, you feel compelled to visit as many as possible. At least I do. I mentioned to one of my single girlfriends that we were going to Hershey, and she recalled being there as a child and loving it. It had etched a fond memory in her mind, and I'd love Seth to think back on the vacations we took with him and smile.

Our hotel, Willow Valley, is supposed to be great, and I always enjoy time away from home. And, being away with friends is a new experience that I welcome. So, I'm going to psych myself up.

Just have to make sure that I wear my most comfortable sneakers.

And....if I need a little energy booster, we'll be in the right place.

Bring on the dark chocolate kisses, please! No doubt I'll walk off the calories, and experts say dark is heart healthy. That works for me. :)

PS - Have you gone to Hershey, and what was your experience?

The Crapshoot That is Motherhood

I never thought about the leap of faith...or crapshoot...that motherhood truly is.

This weekend we went to visit friends who have two young children. One is biological, and the other adopted. They are 40 something parents, and the mom has put aside her career to be a suburban stay at home mom. The youngest child (who is biological) was born with physical challenges that have yet to be diagnosed, so much of their time is spent visiting doctors in search of some answers. It seems like an endless quest with speculations being thrown about freely.

My heart goes out to them, and as I looked at Seth on our ride home, I felt so eternally grateful for his good health and normal development. And, it got me thinking. There is so much of life that is uncertain....really everything......and fear of the unknown can be limiting. As a 40+ mom, I often wonder what the future will bring, but try to stop myself in my tracks and focus on the present. That said, when one becomes a parent, you have no idea what kind of child you're going to get and how the experience will be for you and your family.

I am of the school of thought that everything happens for a reason, though we don't always know why at the time. I like to think that we're each given tests of our strength and that we aren't given more than we can handle. Yet, sometimes I don't fully grasp what people go through and why?

I applaud all those who have chosen to become moms and dads and take the leap of faith that parenting is. Especially when it comes to parenting later in life, we have lots of life experience behind us, but not baby experience. The mom we visited commented that she doesn't have a major support system, and I wondered how she does it? It's so helpful to have a sense of community. I am grateful for family and the friends I have and continue to make.

We are all in this together.....and as unpredictable as it is, we are each stronger than we know. When push comes to shove, we do our best to pull out all the stops as parents because we love our children no matter what.

How do you feel about the uncertainties of life?