Fun -- by Robin

Why does it sometimes feel as if fun is so short-lived?

Seth and I had a terrific time away in Asheville, and since we've gotten home, life has felt full of challenges. It's amazing how things can seemingly turn on a dime.

Earlier this week I was out to lunch at the diner with my senior dad and his live-in aide...the same day he had two doctor appointments....follow-ups from his recent hospital stay. All was ok, he told me the doctors said. Then, just the next day, my father called me to say he was calling a car service to take him to the hospital because he was severely constipated.

I thought we were done for now with the hospital and my father, and I was grateful.

Why didn't he say anything to either doctor or me that he was struggling that day in the bathroom department? Why did he wait until it became a dire matter? It's like having another child....one who is 91.....and can't take care of himself.

Just yesterday I had a physical myself because it's time, and I haven't been feeling up to par since our trip. I await the results of the blood work and am trying not to be overly anxious about it. The raging hormones of perimenopause can cause many symptoms, I'm aware. Not to mention stress.

Then, we had a meeting at my son's school, and he's having some challenges which we need to address.

I also found out that a good friend of mine....a nurse.....slipped and fell at work on a wet floor and fractured a bone in her knee, and she's now out on workman's compensation, yet she was scheduled to retire early next month and go to Ireland, which she may not now be able to do.

And, let's add to the pot that my mother-in-law tore something in her arm....and is awaiting MRI results.

I was speaking on the phone with a friend today who said that maybe I should consider taking something like Lexapro. That she took it when she went through a particularly rough period, and it helped take some of the edge off. And, she's not a pill popper, nor am I. We both tend to be more holistically minded. So, I don't know.........

When did life get so complicated? So unpredictable. I used to welcome the unpredictable because it felt full of promise.

Now I ask.....

Where's the fun?

Where's the peace?

I don't have enough of either at the moment.

Can I jump on a plane back to Asheville and leave all this behind?

I should at least jump on the meditation bandwagon.

A friend said I need to consider revamping my life. Maybe do less? But, I don't think that's the issue for me. I like being busy. It's better than bored. But, anxiety-ridden is something else.

I'm at the point where it's about somehow accepting that this is what midlife is ...especially when you're living the sandwich generation (which I've blogged about before.) But, I need to find the joy and not just the responsibility and uncertainty of it all. It's so beyond my control. All I can control is my reaction to it. I don't want to walk around feeling like I'm carrying the weight of the world on my shoulders. I know things could be worse. But, I could personally use a dose of nurturing right now....and some genuine belly laughs.

Spring Break Vacation -- by Robin

I survived. And, more than that, we thrived.

If you read my earlier blog, you may recall that it was with trepeditation, yet hopefulness, that I traveled for the first time alone with my son. Marc, my husband, couldn't get away due to tax season.

We went to visit a friend in Asheville, North Carolina, and from the moment the trip started, it was as if it was tailor made. The universe had a plan, and both Seth and I had a great, if not tiring, time. It made me feel good as a mom to know I was capable of 24-7 parenting on my own, though having support from my friend who is a wise, nurturing grandma and former guidance school professional gave me an extra shot of confidence.

We flew Delta from NY...the only non stop flight we could find. It was a small plane you boarded from the runway, a new experience for Seth. On the plane, he had the opportunity to enter the cockpit and meet the captain and co-pilot and pose for photos. And, the fact that it was a short flight was a bonus for an energized kid.

My friend, Michele, met us at the airport and we drove straight to Hendersonville, a nearby town. Bringing back memories of my trips to Woodstock, NY, I enjoyed strolling the streets and perusing the various shops both in town and along the way. (Honeysuckle Hollow was a favorite.)

I was just so glad to be somewhere else. Life had been feeling particularly stressful of late, and I needed a break big time. From the moment we exited the plane, my body started to relaxed.

At my friend's suggestion, we checked into the Renaissance Hotel in Asheville, and it was a good choice. The location offered an easy walk to town, and Seth enjoyed the indoor pool, room service, and mountain view from our window. The staff was friendly and accomodating. The first night was particularly eventful, and one that Seth will never forget. The smoke alarm went off in the hotel, and at 10pm we had to walk down 8 flights of stairs and evacuate the building. Turned out there was a small electrical fire in a supply closet on the second floor, and once the fire trucks came, it was readily extinguished. Seth was in all his glory. It was as if we were on a movie set. Nothing gets him more excited than seeing fire trucks or firemen, and he got to pose for photos with the firemen and to first hand see them answer a call.

The next day we took a Gray Line Trolley Tour of Asheville. It gave us a helpful lay of the land downtown and beyond, and the driver/tour guide narrated as we drove along. It's a convenient way of getting around, as you can get on 'n off, since Asheville isn't a town where you can just hail a cab on a street corner. (A big change of pace for us New Yorkers.)

The following day, and a highlight of the trip for Seth, was our excursion to Franklin where we went mining at Mason Mountain Mine. There you can purchase buckets of dirt at varying sizes/prices that are stocked with gems and minerals, and you sift through the dirt with water to discover the buried treasures. Mason's gem expert Sandy will happily weed through your findings and let you know what is most of value. If you like, you may pay extra to have your stones cut, polished and made into a finished piece of jewelry. We didn't go that far, but we carted home four weighty bags of raw sapphires, emeralds, quartz, rubys, etc. Seth can't wait to do it again one day.

We had delicious BBQ food one night at the rousing Fiddlin' Pig, and it was a total hoot. We lucked out and got a table front 'n center by the bluegrass band, and clog dancers performed as well. It's very family friendly, affordable and great fun.

We shopped at Biltmore Village at the wonderful New Morning Gallery. If you are a fan of arts and fine handmade crafts, decorative accessories and furniture, this is the place for you, as is Asheville in general. The town is strewn with galleries featuring everything from pottery to jewelry.

On Easter Sunday, we visited Biltmore, America's largest house. It features 250 rooms of arts and antiques at George W. Vanderbilt's historic property. They host year round events, and Seth participated in an Easter egg hunt, we toured the spectacular house, tasted Zinfandel and more at the Biltmore Winery, held and pet baby chicks and other animals, etc. You can also eat and shop there, sleep at the Inn, ride a Land Rover, take a carriage ride, hike, float on a raft or kayak, etc., etc. The activities are endless. And, it's nice just to chill and take in the grandeur of it all, including the gardens.

Downtown Asheville, Seth enjoyed visiting The Health Adventure at the Pack Place Education, Arts & Science Center. They currently feature exhibits/play areas with Clifford The Big Red Dog. While well done, Seth was more interested in the supermarket section and taking a stab at the many mindbending puzzles featured on the second floor. It's a particularly good place to visit with very young children, and comfortable for parents.

On our last day, we took a cab ride to Black Mountain with the new Black Mountain Cab Company, and had a delightful conversation with Kim, one of the owners/drivers. She was good company and recommended a great dinner spot, Ole's Guacamoles (great tilapia) . Kim's taxi company also offers the lowest prices for a cab ride to the airport from downtown, and they plan to offer excursions/day trips to cool places in and around Asheville, so check them out. For general information about Black Mountain, another nice small town to explore, visit http://www.visitblackmountain.com. It's about 20 minutes from Asheville.

Seth and I had such a nice time away (some special mommy-son bonding time), that we wound up staying an extra night. The weather couldn't have been better. I got in some quality shopping. Spent time with a good girlfriend, who also made dinner for us one night at her home on the moutain. (I could see why she moved there from New York.) We drove on the Blue Ridge Parkway and took in the views. We could have stayed even longer, and I know we'll return. Seth said he wants to live there. We'll see what the future brings. Next trip we'll pack his hiking shoes and go from there.

Solo Travel -- by Robin

Spring break is fast approaching, and for the first time, I've decided to travel with Seth solo. Marc (my husband) can't get away. He's coming down the home stretch with tax season. But, I need a change of pace. I need it bad.

In a perfect world, this trip would prove both relaxing and fun. I crave both. I remain hopeful but guarded.

It's already been stressful. And, we're just at the planning stage.

Since my senior dad has been in and out of the hospital in the last few weeks (thankfully he's now home and slowly healing), I put off booking the air. And, as you might expect, the fares went up. So quickly, I was stunned. I was on the phone with Expedia one night to ask a question, and during the phone call, the fare jumped $75 dollars, and I hadn't locked it in. I quickly became potty-mouthed mommy (Seth wasn't in the room), and raced onto Orbitz.com and snagged the fare at the rate I had planned to pay. It's a direct roundtrip flight (the only one).

Then, I decided to try to apply rewards points from both my Marriott card and Capital One. While it ultimately worked out, it required a rather complex conference call with all parties involved to make it happen.

Ok....my patience and persistence is already being tested.

When I decided I'd like to get away, I thought the ideal plan would be to visit a child-friendly friend. Since we're not traveling as a family or with a family, I'd appreciate the company of another adult. Not only would it help me with Seth but I'd get to enjoy some much needed gal time. Though it won't be just me and my girlfriend, if we're hanging out with Seth at the local children's museum, he can run around and do his thing while we can catch up.

So, we are going to Asheville, NC. I was there years ago with Marc when we went furniture hunting in North Carolina, but we breezed through Asheville. I am looking forward to returning and visiting some neighboring towns as well. My friend who moved there from NY is a fairly new grandma and former school teacher...a great combo. And, she lives a life of spirituality, which I also admire. I'm grateful for the face time we'll have.

I've been on the web researching family outings as well as shopping. Gallery hopping for me, and mining for Seth. Digging my hands into mounds of dirt with the hope of discovering a gem or two doesn't get my heart pumping, but hmmm....are diamonds potentially part of the find? That would be sweet.

Oherwise...we'll wing it.

I'm already making myself a list of toys/gadgets to bring to occupy Seth. I must be sure to pack all the right chargers. Wouldn't want his iPod, DVD player or Game Boy to run out of juice. It's only a two hour flight, but since we're not staying in a suite in the hotel, Seth and I will be co-habitating closely for five nights. We'll each have our own Queen bed, but there won't be any separate space for him to play or to watch his own tv while mommy endeavors to sleep in a bit. Does his DVD player come with headphones? I MUST explore that right away! If I'm forced to wake up 7AM daily on vacation, as Seth does, I will not be a happy camper. I'll need a vacation from the vacation when we get home, and that defeats the purpose. But, isn't that often the case with kids?!

Vacations aren't always what we expect them to be, but I do look forward to some mother-son bonding time. He'll miss his dad, and his toys, etc. I'll miss Marc. But, a little break can be good for everyone.