Ringing in Change for the New Year -- by Cara

Change. It is just a simple, six letter word. But for some, it can bring on anxiety, while for others, it can evoke excitement and promise of good things to come!

I am hoping for the latter in the New Year. Not only a new year, a new decade! Ripe with opportunity to illicit change and hopefully reap the positive that flows along with it!

In Robin’s last blog, she spoke of change through getting rid of things she really didn’t need anymore; Her pig collection. Or at least a fair part of this collection. And in her blog, she spoke of change. How by “purging” part of her collection, it also freed her to open up to other things. (A cow collection, possibly?)

This past year has been an awful year for my family. My husband, my son, me, even one of our dogs, have all been diagnosed with lifelong medical problems. It is hard enough when one member of a family has to cope with the realization that they have to learn to adapt to a chronic medical condition. Imagine an entire family! And their dog!

It’s been a long, difficult year. But we made it through. Now I want change. Change for the better. I want us all to move past the anger and the grief to acceptance. And from there, I want to move forward to living our lives as happily and as productively as we each can!

Medical condition or not, I have my own plans for the new year! I want to become more involved in a business venture! I would like to do more writing, maybe take a class or two! I want to become more involved in my son’s school! Possibly volunteer as a Class Mom! (Well, okay...maybe not THAT involved! At least not yet!).

Like Robin, I, too, am ringing in change through getting rid of, contributing to charity, offering to others, things that are no longer necessary in my life. Clutter leads to chaos which leads to disharmony. I have clutter. Too much clutter. In just about every corner in my home and facet in my mind. All of it is going to be slowly dispersed with the anticipation that more harmony will ensue.

And when I found out that Robin didn’t sell, but simply gave away her pig collection, that inspired me to want to be more altruistic as well! I also want to feel my heart swell by donating items to others that I no longer have any use for! I recently gave away two iPods that my husband and I no longer used. We gave them away to friends. I was thrilled that the recipients were tremendously happy! My heart did swell! But I was also glad that, like Robin’s pigs, the iPods were going to good homes. Going to people who really wanted them and would use them and get enjoyment out of them and maybe make THEIR new year a little happier! Having two iPods sitting in a drawer was unnecessary. They, along with a lot of other items in our home, need to go elsewhere.

So, as the saying goes, change can be good! Really good! And I am looking forward to seeing that ball drop tomorrow, and cry out, “Happy New Year!!” I know my year is going to change for the better! My wish is the same for you! I wish all our members and readers a VERY Happy New Year!!

Pig Purging -- by Robin

It's been a pig-filled week at my house.

My son is thankfully now over the swine flu.....and I'm doing further purging.

For regular readers of this blog, you know that we gutted and rebuilt my entire basement, and I've been spending considerable time both before and now organizing the house. Thankfully, I've also had some assistance from our wonderful cleaning woman who is not emotionally attached to stuff like I am.

Up until this week, my focus has been mostly papers, clothing and other things we've managed to accumulate over the years living in this house. But, now my attention has turned to pigs, and it's peaking the interest of friends, which I find both funny and intriguing. I had no idea that others cared about my pig collection or supported my love of them this much. I'm receiving notes expressing shock that I would let some go.

It's been years since my collection started, back in the days of my working in Manhattan. It started simply with a photo of a pot-bellied pig I posted on my office bulletin board, just because it was cute. Co-workers started to presume I was into pigs, and little by little I would receive them as gifts. While I didn't necessarily embrace them at first, over time it became a quest. When I'd go on vacation, it gave me something to hunt for. Friends always knew what to buy for my birthday. Pigs would brighten my day, and slowly but surely take over my life and home.

My husband has been very understanding. And, my son has been raised with a love of pigs as well.

But, the time has come to let go....at least a bit. At the suggestion of a wise friend this week, I am releasing some of my collection. And, it has really struck a chord with me. Something about it is freeing. And, right away I posted an item about them on craigslist and freecycle. I decided, in the spirit of the holiday, to give them away for free to some other pig lover who would treasure them as I once did. These particular pigs no longer tickle my fancy, and I was glad to see I was able to let go. Though I did need to do it quickly, for fear I might change my mind. And, the response was more than I expected from interested takers. They were picked up the same day I posted about them.....at 10PM. Couldn't believe it! I was grateful not to have the chance to sleep on it. The pigs might have looked rosier in the morning.

Believe me....I'm not hurting in the pig department. There's still a good amount around here. But, I am working hard to invite new, positive energy into the house. And, this was a great way to prepare for 2010. And who knows? I might relinquish more swine in the future, but I'm proud of my effort at the moment and am glad the pigs will be in a worthy home for Christmas.

What can you release from your life that might free you up in ways you don't expect? Think about it, and feel free to share. I invite you to go for it! If I can do it, you can too. :)

Child Psychology

Saturday night was a challenge in our house.

We had dinner plans with two close (single) girlfriends who adore Seth. Before we all went out to a local family friendly restaurant, they played with Seth in our front yard with his baseball set. He is a little slugger-in-the-making, and all were having a fun time.

Until....for some reason, as Seth walked toward our front stoop, he decided to give our whimsical flying pig a whack. (Those who know me, know that I collect pigs, and Seth is aware that the pigs mean something in our household. Plus, he enjoys them too.) I heard a crack, and the spike supporting the pig broke in half.

What was so upsetting about the situation was his total lack of regard. I know he didn't intend to break the pig stand, but it was a totally unnecessary move on his part. We have said to Seth in the past "don't hit the pig." And, to make matters worse, it happened in front of our friends. Everyone witnessed his blatant carelessness, and the mood quickly went from playful to serious.

This of course led to a heated discussion between Marc and I re: how to best teach Seth a lesson. Clearly, it was evident that Seth is not aware of the ramifications of his behavior. At age 5, he is not thinking that if I hit the pig, it could break. He just followed an impulse, as most kids his age would. So, it's our job to communicate this message to him.

I immediately told Seth he would be punished for his behavior. That saying I'm sorry is not enough. Not everything can be fixed.

Now I had to think quick on my feet and decide what the punishment would be. I marched into the living room and started speedily scooping up toy after toy and putting them into a large garbage bag. I told Seth he would be without his prized toys for some time, including his Spy Kit, Game Boy, multitude of trucks, etc. There would be no television the next day, and no dessert for a week, including no ice cream when Mister Softee comes ringing his bell at the park or in the neighborhood.

Seth is so tough and smart. He turned to me and said "I love you mommy. I'm glad you're taking my toys away because I don't like them anyway," and he proceeded to help pack them up. And, "I'm glad I can't have dessert because it's sugar and not healthy."

I was somewhat stunned. I said to Marc....are we not being tough enough with Seth? Or is he just using reserve child psychology on us and trying to get us to believe that our punishment is not affecting him? That he's not upset by it. So then, what's a mom to do? Do we punish him more, or just let time take its course this week and know that as the days go on he will miss his toys and ice cream? That is our hope. It remains to be seen.

Perhaps someone should create a Discipline Chart?! It would make suggestions to parents as to modes of discipline they might consider for their child. I realize that all kids are different, and what is upsetting to one isn't necessarily to another. But, it's not so easy to pull a punishment plan out of your pocket at the very moment an unexpected incident occurs. Amazing how wise we are asked to be as a parent, when you are raising a wise child!!

Have you had an experience like this with your child? How did you handle it?