Santa Was Here — by Margaret Hart

Santa definitely made it to our house this Christmas, and thank goodness my son was on the jolly old man's "nice" list.  On Christmas morning, most of the items on the Christmas list were under the tree, with a few exceptions.  Santa had taken a bite out of one of the candy cane sugar cookies left on a plate for him on a table next to the sofa. The stockings were filled with odds and ends, and the tree was still standing (after having fallen twice, breaking some of my most favorite ornaments!). So all in all, Christmas was a success for a certain seven-year-old. 

But it was a success for many more reasons that my son is still too young to fully appreciate. He, and my husband and I, got to spend five days together with my parents and my younger sister.  My parents are in their 70s now, and thankfully still in good health.  But as I get older, they get older.  Over the years, as I have matured, I have understood  more than ever the blessings of family and have appreciated them so much more than I did when I was younger. I have made it a priority to spend as much time with them and to share as many milestones with them as possible—especially since my son was born.

We all couldn't wait for my family to arrive. I had rushed around for weeks, stressing out, getting everything ready.  I was still preparing just a few hours before they arrived. But when they walked in the door, I finally sat down, and felt a sense of calm.  My husband took several days off from work, and my son was off from school, so we had the chance to spend some real quality time together.

Like many families celebrating the holidays, ours involved a lot of food, special treats, and traditions. We started off celebrating my sister's birthday.  She loves the singer Lady Gaga, so I had fun cupcakes made for her by a friend of mine who owns a bakery. Take a look.  They were a huge hit.  

Every Christmas we also have a tradition of going out for a family dinner to celebrate several occasions:  my sister's birthday (December 22), my parents anniversary (December 26) and my birthday (January 11). When my son was born, we added his birthday to the list (December 2).  I also cooked special Christmas Eve and Christmas Day dinners, and made our family Trifle for dessert. My mother is Scottish, and so is the recipe for Trifle.

This Christmas we started a new tradition of dining on china passed down from my husband's great, great grandmother. He told us stories of eating holiday meals on the china at his grandmother's house when he was a small boy. It was an emotional day for him because he inherited the china from his parents, both of whom passed away recently.

As one day turned into the next, and I could finally see the back of my refrigerator, I realized the visit was coming to a close.  On the last afternoon, as my son sat on the sofa next to my father— a seven-year-old teaching a 76-year-old how to play Super Mario Brothers Wii—I saw pure joy on both of their faces.  I looked at them and I knew that this Christmas had been a huge success. 

It didn't matter that I hadn't baked a gazillion cookies.  It was okay that Santa didn't bring everything on the list. (My son never complained.)  What mattered was that we were spending time together, that my son was getting the chance to enjoy his grandparents, and that we were making memories.  In that moment, all the stress of the season just melted away. And I wished that I could freeze that moment in time. I hope that one day my son will talk about this holiday with fond memories, and that he will remember not only the gifts that he received, but also the funny, joyful and memorable experiences with his family. 

May the New Year bring all good things to you and your families.

Sometimes the Greatest Gift is the One We Don't Give....by Liimu

Today is my husband’s 46th birthday. What I wanted to give him more than anything else this year was the freedom to launch his own music production studio. Before I found out I was pregnant with our first child last spring, my husband and I talked about his plans for starting his own business. When I started my business over three years ago, he supported me without hesitation. Even when the economy tanked in my second year of business and it looked like we might not make it, he never suggested I throw in the towel and go back to working for a traditional company. He helped me to brainstorm how we might get through it.

So when I realized that my company was going to be successful in good times and bad, I knew it was time for me to give him that same love and support he had given me for so many years.
My husband has been on leave with me for these past nine weeks and we have loved being together. We have loved being with Max, snuggling him and watching him grow. So naturally, I didn’t want it to end. I suggested maybe he should just stay home with him, rather than pay to have someone else watch him, and then he could grow his business at the same time. On paper, it sounded great to us both.

What I was forgetting was my type triple A, controlling, take no prisoners, take no mess personality. In a matter of days (fueled not in small part by spending some time with my sisters and my mother, who are just like me), I began bossing him around, telling him how I thought he should start his business, what I thought he needed to do to make it work, how he needed to HUSTLE. Finally, after days of this, he finally confessed that I was beginning to scare him and he thought he’d actually rather go to work and build his business at night rather than continue on listening to me nag at him about all he needed to do. I professed to be loving and supporting him, doing what I could to help him make his dreams come true. Meanwhile, what I was actually doing was scaring the shit out of him and at the same time sucking every last drop of happiness out of his journey. Clearly not my intent.

So instead, we decided to go with his plan. I am backing off and waiting for him to ask for my help or advice (which he has, once or twice). He’s going back to work in a few weeks and the time we have left together is all the more precious, and his desire to make his dream come true so he can leave his job for real is even stronger than it was before.
I am extremely blessed to have a job that I love, one that pays well and affords me the flexibility to spend time with my children and doing the things that I love. I’m not kidding myself or stretching the truth at all when I say that all I want is for my husband to have a job he loves just as much. What I realized this past week, however, is that the dream has to be his and how its realized has to be his decision. I can’t dream it for him and I can’t realize it for him. I can believe in it, though, and I can watch eagerly and with pride and baited breath as he makes it come true.

For more information about my husband Glen and the music production services he offers, visit www.maadmusicpro.com.

Ho Ho Ho Holiday Birthdays

As soon as that calendar turned December 1, I felt it in my bones creaking up my neck and all the way down into my toes. Oh the stress. All the shopping, searching for perfect gifts, schlepping, wrapping, baking, cooking and every toy needs batteries!!! ...Oh my God. Help. I'm sure you all can relate. To top it off, my middle child, Kelly, the easy-going kid--the one that hardly ever asks for much--has her 8th birthday coming on the 14th. Every year it's always in the middle of this holiday chaos and we make a point to have a separate birthday party to make her feel special.

This year, a major North Easter snow storm is expected on Saturday the 15th and half of our family from upstate New York, might not be able to make it down to Long Island. Could someone please tell God to postpone the snow? Just for one day? Kelly never asks for much, so when we told her Don't worry, you'll still get birthday presents from mommy and daddy if they can't come...she said, "but I want to be with all of my family...that's what it's about." I got choked up and prayed hard and fast that the snow would wait for Kelly's birthday party.

As for the shopping: Ya think my husband could tell me sooner that he needs holiday gifts for people in the office? Like people he hardly ever talks about or doesn't give me a clue as to what they might want? I think sometimes I'll fix him and buy something inappropriate like a nail salon gift certificate for his boss Tony.

Well happy shopping, wrapping and baking to all! I can't wait till January 2 when I can put my feet up and drink a cup of Jasmine tea and relax and watch the kids eating cookies and enjoying their new toys.