Cyma Chats with author Susan Apollon (Part I)*

Q: This time of year is often hard for many people – the holidays elicit much emotion; the beginning of the new year brings great hope. What advice would you give for coping with these often turbulent weeks?

A: Remember that your parent (s) got through very difficult times, including the loss of their own parents and other loved ones. (If they could do it, so can you!)  Remember in difficult circumstances that “This, too, shall pass.” – that we are all in a constant state of change, including the situation in which you find yourself. Remind yourself that you have managed to get through very tough times in the past and if you could do it before, you can do it again. Finally, always remember that each day, no matter how challenging it is, is followed by night and then a new morning in which the sun rises again and a new day begins filled with fresh hope and new intentions.

Q: Why do many people attribute this time of year as a trigger for these types of emotions?

A: Holiday activities tend to be similar to the activities we experienced as a child with our loved ones. As we age, our loved ones age as well and eventually die, leaving us with feelings of great sadness regarding our separation from them. When we involve ourselves in holiday events (be it lighting of menorahs, decorating the tree, baking, cooking, having family get- togethers, etc), we are reminded of times spent with them, and though we may have sweet, joyful memories, those very memories trigger sadness, knowing they are no longer here with us. Additionally, any feelings of loss in the present bring up similar feelings of losses from you past – which are stored in your cells. The result of this is that you feel overwhelmed by a sense of sadness and even despair.

Q: What are some of the ways that you recommend individuals deal with pain and loss?

Understand that loss means you have been separated from someone or something in whom or in which you have invested much of who you are. This can be so powerful feelings that it throws you off in all ways and causes you to often feel that your heart is broken and that you do not know who you truly are. You feel lost, angry, sad and confused.

Give yourself permission to feel your pain rather than pretend it is not there. Your pain is real and needs to be honored and processed. It is stored in your cells as a low energetic vibrational experience.The key is to find ways to honor and release the pain stored at the cellular level. Crying, talking, screaming (such as in your car), punching a pillow (not a person!), exercising…all help you to release your pain. Remember, tears are good in that they provide a necessary release. Allow them to come when needed.

In dealing with loss, it is normal for you to lose your sense of identity which, in turn, leaves you feeling confused and lacking stability and confidence. Any kind of loss presents you with challenges which ultimately lead to the formation of a new sense of identity, one which feels more empowered, stronger and confident.

For some, talking about your feelings and what you miss about your loved one is essential; for others, writing or journaling your feelings of missing your loved one enables you to process your pain or loss. Even writing a letter to your deceased loved one or to your angels or God, expressing your pain, anger, sadness, confusion is a good thing. Exercising offers another means of releasing your pain, as well as helping you to open up stored energetic blockages.

Become informed about what normally occurs in grieving so that you feel you can better manage it – and do the work of mourning. Recognizing that your experience is relatively normal allows you to undergo the necessary process of separating from you hopes, dreams, loved one or anything or anyone that you grieve.

Balancing your pain with laughter or anything that brings a smile to your heart is a good thing. Without the ability to laugh when grieving, you may become ill. Remember that everything is energy and therefore you want to balance the low energy associated with thoughts of loss with the high energy of thoughts that tickle you and make you smile and laugh. Laughter enables you to release endorphins which, in turn, help your immune system to better care for you.

A major point to keep in mind: Any loss you have that feels overwhelming and terrible has vibrational, energetic equivalents from similar experiences of past losses stored in your cells. What happens is that your present loss will trigger and bring into the present the feelings of the older losses. Thus, you may feel overwhelmed by sadness and pain from both past and present losses. This is very common but most are not aware of how this works.

Leave your house and go into Nature, be it a park, if in the city, or go for a walk in the country or by the beach. Nature provides you with your connection to your Higher Self, to God and the Universe. The energy of being outdoors with shrubs, plants, trees, mountains, ocean and lake water is simply higher and powerfully healing and uplifts you, by shifting your focus to what brings you peace and well-being.

Not initially, but in time, as you begin to be aware that you are beginning to heal and are feeling a bit stronger, ask yourself questions such as “What is this teaching me? What are the lessons I am learning with this? And what might be the gifts this experience is giving me? These questions force you to perceive the situation differently, causing a shift in how you feel from not good to better and, perhaps, even good.

Finally, take a few minutes, at least, daily, to close your eyes, breathe deeply, creating stillness, and from this quiet, still place, give yourself permission to see and feel yourself feeling more joy, being happy handling your difficult situation and experiencing peace. By doing this, you, once again, create a shift in your energy, balancing the pain of loss and moving you along in the direction of what you are imaging or visualizing.

Q: You have written about the “ABCs.” What does this involve?

The ABCs which I have written about and created for my patients and those who attend my seminars are the following:  A is for Awareness of your feeling either good or not good at the level of heart and of the thought that is causing the problem. At this point, you may choose to acknowledge and feel the feeling, if you wish – or not. The next step is  B - to Breathe deeply several deep breaths, with the intention of breathing out the pain. And C is for Choosing another thought that feels better when you focus on it and focusing on it for about a moment or so. By doing this, you are able to shift and experience greater well-being.

Q: Your approach seems to combine common sense with energetic, spiritual, prayerful techniques. In what ways does this multi-faceted approach lend itself to furthering the healing process?

Healing is about restoring balance, harmony and a sense of wholeness when you are out of balance, lacking a sense of harmony and peace and feeling disconnected from your true self. Such states leave you are feeling energetically very low and vulnerable to illness.

By choosing to focus on that which feels good, or the Unconditional Love of Self and the Love of others, you energetically shift to a higher level which then releases chemicals which bolster you and your immune system, restores harmony and expedites the healing process.

Q: What techniques work best for you?

I give myself permission to cry, scream, etc., if I need to- and then consciously work to balance my pain with focusing on thoughts that feel better.

Being energy conscious and aware that like energy attracts like energy, I practice being conscious of how I feel and think, then feel the emotion, breathe it out and replace it with something that makes my heart sing. My goal is to shift myself to a higher vibrational energy, enabling me to both feel better and have more positive experiences.

When dealing with issues of loss, I remind myself that my responses are normal and that I will probably be pulling up other losses which felt energetically similar to what I feel in the present.

I breathe deeply, consciously focusing on breathing in peace and breathing out all stagnant energy associated with fears and tension. This creates the release of chemicals that relax me and enable me to replenish my energy so that I can better handle the challenges facing me.

I also always ask for clarity regarding what the experience might be teaching me. I ask questions such as “What is the lesson in this experience for me to take away? Or, what is this whole thing teaching me? These immediately help me achieve a higher perspective which, in turn, enables me to better manage the situation.

What also works for me are powerful affirmations such as I AM that I AM and I Am not alone, but protected by my angels and the highest of divine energy (reminding myself that I am not alone and that the energy that created the Universe is a part of me with every breath I take). These affirmations gently remind me of my own sense of power and confidence in dealing with difficult situations.

*Next week: 10 tips for new older mothers

Susan Apollon is a psychologist, author and educator. For more than twenty-five years, Susan has been in private practice in Yardley, PA, evaluating and counseling adults, families, and children who are dealing with difficult life situations similar to what she has personally experienced, researched, and written about, including cancer, other health issues, trauma, and grief. She is an avid researcher of Mind, Consciousness, Intuition, Energy, Prayer, and Healing and brings this expertise to her three published books—Touched by the Extraordinary, Book Two: Healing Stories of Love, Loss & Hope; Touched by the Extraordinary: An Intuitive Psychologist Shares Insights, Lessons, and True Stories of Spirit and Love to Transform and Heal the Soul; and Intuition Is Easy and Fun: The Art and Practice of Developing Your Natural-Born Gift of Intuition (co-authored with Yanni Maniates).

GUEST BLOG POST: The Power of Values by Mary O'Donohue

When I became a mom at 36, a friend of mine who didn’t yet have children, asked me with curiosity how my life had changed. I struggled at first - not knowing how to express the seismic shift my life had taken. Ultimately I found the words. “I used to breathe air and now I breathe joy.” I know that may sound kind of “out there” – but that’s exactly how I felt. Everything about the world had changed.

And something intrinsically changed when I became a mom too. Little by little, day-by-day, in what felt like mommy boot camp in the first 6 weeks of my son’s life, I started to realize something. I was powerful. I mean, I could put a crying infant to sleep at 3 AM with a gentle, strategically timed bouncing motion I never even knew I had. And as an older mom, I didn’t mind being up with a crying infant at 3AM! I didn’t feel like I was missing anything, you know? Not only that, but it turned out I had a gift for making my son smile – never mind that the pediatrician said babies that young don’t smile. Mine did. Because I had the power.

As my son grew out of babyhood and into the world of toddlers, my powers kept multiplying. With a mere kiss, a spray of antiseptic and a Band Aid, I could conquer any boo boo, from paper cut to full on scrape. And don’t get me started on songs, because I had it down. I made up tunes on the spot with lyrics that would make any 4 year-old stop and listen. As a matter of fact, when my son was that age, he simply believed that there were songs for everything from brushing his teeth to using the potty. Like they already existed on the preschool hit parade. He had no idea I was making them up on the spot.

And then when my little guy turned five, something happened that kind of stopped me in my tracks. I told him for maybe the 500th time to “Say thank you.” And he dutifully repeated the words, although it sounded more like “Thaaaaaaank Youuuuuuu.” Not too sincere. But I’d gotten him to say the words. And that was what I wanted. Right? Or was it?

Soon after that it suddenly hit me that with all the power I had, I’d been missing the point when it came to teaching gratitude to my son. By prompting him to say the words, I was merely training him to act thankful. I wasn’t teaching him to be a grateful person.

And as our family grew, I realized that when my husband and I told our kids to “say thank you,” or “say please,” we were denying them the opportunity to actually be grateful or respectful. In short, we weren’t giving them the chance to express their own power – the power of living their values. And I think as parents we unintentionally do our kids a disservice when we urge them to merely say words when what we really want is that our kids have values. But as a busy parent, how can you instill values like gratitude and respect for others in your children, especially during the hectic holidays? Here are a few suggestions to get started:

- For gratitude:

• Before you sit down for dinner with your family, have a ten minute chat with your kids - no longer or it will feel like a lecture – and ask them to kind of ”play detectives.” See if they can figure out where their favorite dish actually came from. If your eight-year-old son loves the sweet potatoes with marshmallows, ask him where all the ingredients came from in that dish and how they might have gotten to your table. Were there farmers involved? Did someone drive a truckload of marshmallows to your local market? And how did you find just the right spices for your son’s favorite dish? After he’s sleuthed his way to the real back-story behind the food, ask him to think about that for a moment as he sits down for his meal so that he’s not just grateful for the yummy food he’s about to eat, but he will actually start to think that there’s more to appreciate than meets the eye.

• During the holiday season, initiate a daily practice of gratitude simply by having each member of the family find one experience in each day to be grateful for and talk about it over dinner or at bedtime each night. Even if your or your kids have had a bad day, find something positive that came out of it – how they handled themselves in a tough situation or how it made them realize how strong or capable they actually are. Make it an ongoing practice for your family.

-For Respect for Others:

• Whether you’re visiting relatives down the block for a holiday meal or traveling thousands of miles to celebrate with extended family, ask your kids to come up with 5 ways they can show respect to family and friends this holiday season. For instance, if visiting with Grandma for Christmas, Hanukkah, or any family celebration, they can make a small hostess gift like a drawing or place cards. They can also help set the table, pull grandma’s chair back so she can sit down comfortably, wait their turn before speaking at the holiday table, and make every effort not to talk with their mouths full! When they come up with their list the only rule is that they can’t use the word “respect” per se. They actually have to come up with concrete ways to be respectful and then do their best to do each thing on their list.

• This holiday season, as you are looking at your holiday gift giving lists, ask your children to come up with a list of their own – with a twist. Ask each child to individually write down the 5 ways they would like you as a parent to give them respect. Your child’s list might include that they would like to be a part of family decisions…kids hate to be left out. They might also write “When you say ‘I’ll come up to say goodnight in two minutes’ actually come up in two minutes, not a half hour later! And - hey mom - when you play board games – don’t just let me win! When I’m on the phone with my friend from school, please do not mock the things we talk about. “ And, “Hey dad, don’t try to solve all my problems. Sometimes I’ll ask for your help and sometimes I want to try to fix things on my own.” It’s amazing what your kids will come up with. As well-meaning parents who want our children to be respected in the world, sometimes we don’t realize they may not feel that they are getting enough respect in their own families. Just asking them to make this list can be very eye opening for parents.

This holiday season I hope all parents realize our true powers lie not only in rocking our little ones to sleep, or healing boo boos with tender kisses, but in living our values and sharing those values with our children.

Mary O’Donohue is the author of When You Say ‘Thank You’ Mean It…and 11 Other Lessons for Instilling Lifelong Values in Your Children. She and her husband have been married for fifteen years and they have two children, a son and a daughter. She balances being a mom with a long career in television production. She’s an avid traveler, having spent time in Ireland, England, Greece, France, Germany, Italy, Turkey and China. She loves to read and has a passion for photography.

Teaching Gratitude to Our Children by Cyma Shapiro

Last week I discussed gratitude and its place in my life.  With the holidays quickly arriving, I’d like to address gratitude in my children’s lives. For me, it’s one of the most important traits I can pass on to them. But, until recently, I just couldn’t find the best techniques for doing so. Another check on the Internet (of course!), and I now have some wonderful ideas to pass on to you.

In Carolyn Pennington’s “3 Steps to Teaching Gratitude in our Children,” Pennington outlines how parents need to model behavior they want their children to have. “A simple, sincere expression of gratitude when the kids do something they were asked to do is always appreciated. Taking an extra moment to thank a sales clerk at the store or to tip your gardener for really doing a great job lets them know that gratitude is a standard in your home...and you are always looking to reward those that demonstrate quality work with praise. We must be intentional with our parenting. We must actively look for opportunities to teach our children if we want to instill these important virtues into their lives.” 

Here are more of her suggestions:

1)  Offer Selfless Service. In our home, we eat a lot of fresh produce. Sometimes we over buy. Rather than letting the produce go to waste, we toss a salad or something similar together and my husband and son run it to the local food bank. They love receiving fresh produce because most of their donations come in the form of cans and boxes. Allowing your children to see how grateful the volunteer workers are as well as those eating there can really make an impact on your child's life.

2)  Try Going Without. From time to time, have a family project that involves going without something important. For example, try making bread for a week rather than buying it, or try biking to any destination less than two miles away. A little sacrifice causes us to miss things that we take for granted and helps us be a little more humble and grateful for the...car, or toy, or whatever. I find that the learning is more beneficial when this is done in a proactive way rather than a reactive way. For example if the child looses the privilege of a toy for disciplinary reasons...they child may not associate receiving the toy back with gratitude. He or she may learn the lesson that if I don't keep my room clean I lose the privilege of certain toys -a great lesson. Try "going without" as a proactive fun family adventure and be sure to express your gratitude for the usefulness of the items you went without!

3) Expect thanks, don't guilt thanks. "I work so hard every day for you, and I never hear a word of thanks." There is nothing wrong with encouraging a child to express gratitude or reminding them. In our home it is an expectation to say the simple words of "thank-you" for just about everything. But shaming children into saying it does not raise the vibration level of your home. They will feel bad about it, about you, about themselves...and probably resent you. Have expectations and allow your children to rise to the occasion. Invite them to say thank you. Tell them you appreciate their nice words and you will get more and more to be thankful for yourself!

Eliza Clark’s blog post on “On Shine from Yahoo” suggests the follow gratitude resolutions for the holiday season:

• To set an example of thankfulness for our kids - we’ll remember to thank them for all of the lovely little things they do.  Children like being thanked.  Some so much that they’ll still say you’re welcome” if you forget. 
• To make our thanks more than just pro forma  - telling people very specifically why we’re thankful makes them feel great.  This is something kids can learn to do too. 
• To get our kids in the habit of working on thank you notes - preschoolers can decorate notes with stickers, draw designs, scrawl their names, affix stamps, etc.  Giving thanks can be a beautiful thing! 
• To give our kids plenty of ways to help out around the house - this gives us more chances to thank them, and helps them comprehend a bit of what goes into all of the many things others do for them. 
• To get the children involved in some kind of goodwill project this month - we might sort toys, clothes and books to give to charity, or put together a package for a sick relative. 
• To express gratitude & amp; wonder for the big and little things – and to encourage our children, preferably at bedtime when they are snuggled under cozy covers, to tell us what they are most grateful for.

Carolyn Goode, founder of Parents International, unveils her list for teaching gratitude to teenagers (a life stage that I, for one, dread):

The first thing you have to do as a parent with an ungrateful teen is be clear.

One of the biggest factors contributing to the general lack of gratitude shown by teens these days is that they feel they "deserve" or are "entitled to" what they have or are given. As a parent it is your job to clarify the difference between rights and privileges. For example, you as a parent need to help your teen understand that while they have the right to be clothed, it is a privilege to have the name brand clothes, and sheer volume of clothes they have. This is just one simple example, there are many more. For example, it is their right to attend school, but it is a privilege to get to drive instead of ride the bus. One of the best ways to clarify the difference for your teen is to help them understand that they do not earn rights, but they need to earn privileges. Start making them earn it, and soon they will recognize the difference. It is when they receive too much for too little that they feel entitled.

The second thing you need to do is subtly help your teen more readily recognize their blessings.

If you want your teen to be more grateful you need to show them that they have a lot to be grateful for. If you sit them down and lecture them on how much they have to be grateful for, you can bet their mind will be on the things they don't have, or on their friends that have more, not on their blessings. However, if you take opportunity to discuss casually things like hurricane victims, or the homeless, your teen may start to see what they have. For example, at dinner you can casually start a conversation about the news story that indicated the number of homeless people found frozen to death after the first winter storm of the year. These dinner conversations will have a way of making your child more appreciative of your home than any sit down lecture where you tell them they need to be grateful. Hearing about and seeing people who do not have many privileges will help to make the distinction between their rights and privileges more obvious.

Third, you have to be the shining example of a grateful person.

If you want your teen to be someone who shows gratitude, be the role model. Show gratitude, recognize when it is shown to you, and be appreciative of opportunities for gratitude. It is important as we are a model of gratitude that we recognize and show gratitude to our teens, even if it is for something super small, like clearing their dishes after dinner. Show your teen, through example, to be grateful for the large and small gestures. It will rub off.

Lastly, do not expect too much too quickly.

Showing gratitude, and learning to be a grateful person is a process, and you need to recognize the steps your teen makes toward it, even if they are small, and do not get frustrated when they take a step back. Patience is key. Your teen will never learn if you blow your top when they mess up. While gratitude is a state of mind, and it takes a conscious choice to consider others and be more grateful, it is not something that you can change overnight in a selfish teen. So, be encouraging, and give them opportunities to be grateful, and eventually it will kick in.

Her conclusions: take each day to encourage your children to express gratitude; model thanks; establish family rituals involving daily thankfulness; volunteer; assign chores; write thank you notes; find your own gratitude.

Finally, excerpts from Laurie Meade’s “7 Easy Ways to Teach Your Children to be Grateful for What They Have:” 

• Set the right example: It is better if you teach them by using the appropriate words at the right time (i.e. Thank you).
• Teach it through role playing: You can play games with your children that implement the virtue of gratitude. Play the second chair and practice showing them how it feels to be on the receiving end of an unexpected “thank you.”
• Teach by showing them how to be of service to others; even simple things such as holding a door for an elderly person. You would be surprised how many times a simple gesture can occur in places like grocery stores, doctor’s offices or shopping trips.
• Make a list. An easy way to get them to make lists for what they are thankful for is to use “The Daily Gratitude Journal" software.
• Show them how to be thankful for the little things in life. Although most of us would not consider heat and light little things, they are the simple things that they don’t pay much attention to.  
• Teach them to see the good in someone they don’t like. 
• You can even use a negative experience to teach them the value of being grateful. As you go through your day, show them the wonderful events going on behind the scenes that we all most usually take for granted – things like the police, the firemen and the clerk at the grocery store.
  

I love the Internet. I love these tips. I love being grateful and teaching my kids those values that I hold so dear. Thank you, dear Internet, for helping me be more grateful. What methods do you use? I’d love to hear from you and gather even more tips…

There Goes the Bride by Cara Potapshyn Meyers

 This past Sunday was my Brother-in-Law’s wedding - my husband’s brother. I was invited, but chose not to go for many obvious reasons. My only wish was that I hadn’t been very ill because it gave my husband the perfect excuse as to why I wasn’t there. My husband is an awful liar. You could tell when he fibs a mile away. So, unfortunately he would be correct in telling family and friends why I didn’t attend the wedding. Bummer. I would have at least have enjoyed knowing how uncomfortable he would have been having to produce a reason why his “wife” wasn’t at his brother’s wedding. Oh well...there will be other occasions.

My Sister-in-Law (wife of my husband’s OTHER brother) will be having her second child in April. I am pretty sure that I will be quietly absent from that milestone event as well. He’ll have to come up with some type of story for that occasion, I’m sure.

And then there are all the Holidays in between. I assume my son will be spending all of the Jewish religious ones at my in laws. I’ll get my son and take him to visit very close friends for Christmas and Easter. But what to do about Thanksgiving? I’ve made the largest turkey I could find, to feed 20 plus people for just about every Thanksgiving for 15 years now. I guess those days are over.

My husband and I will have to trade off on Thanksgiving. Since my son went to the wedding, perhaps my husband will allow me to take my son to my best friend’s house for Thanksgiving this year. It will be very festive as my best friend’s birthday is very close to the Thanksgiving Holiday, so she celebrates her birthday then as well.

It is hard when you are breaking away from your spouse while having to go through the Holidays, especially with a child. The child is used to everyone being together and having a wonderful time. Now the child gets tossed between one family and another. It’s confusing and painful...for everyone involved.

Being an only child, with now both parent’s deceased, and no close relatives who live nearby, I grew up spending many, many Holidays with my best friend and her family. I recently asked her if it would be okay to resume that historical pattern. She was delighted. A little overwhelmed, but delighted. I kind of get the “warm fuzzies” just thinking about all of the wonderful times in the past that we’ve spent together during the Holidays. Like her Dad serving us spiked Eggnog when we were only 16! We couldn’t understand why the Eggnog tasted so good, nor why we were so giddy hanging ornaments on her tree! It brings back such warm and loving feelings!

My son is the same age as my best friend’s son, who is adopted. My friend chose to become a single Mom right before she turned 40. I wanted to have my first child before I turned 40. The stars aligned in the heavens for both of us! We both have boys and they are only 3 months apart in age! And both boys think they are “cousins!” In a way, they really are. They see each other far more frequently than my son’s actual cousins.

So maybe this can work, this Holiday swapping thing? As I’ve experienced, families don’t have to be related to be close and have fun! I think I’ve had more enjoyable and exciting Holidays spent with close friends than with relatives who critique your cooking!

I guess another chapter of my life is unfolding. Just like going down the tall Mayan water slide at the Atlantis Resort with my son, last month. I am ready to experience another incredible ride. The ride through the Holiday maze! I better hold on tight for this one, too!

40 Something Mom Memory

How is yours?

Your memory...that is.

This morning, I received a copy of an email newsletter I subscribe to, and they featured an article on this very subject. It came across my computer screen at a timely moment, as I prepare to go out of town and am hustling to remember/tackle all that I need to do before I leave.

I also find this a topic of discussion with other moms my age. Do you?

Since I turned 40, my memory is just not as sharp.

Thankfully I've always been detail-minded, but I find it's even more necessary now. And, there are times when I feel like I have to pick up the slack for others who struggle to keep track because they don't have a system.

For example, I was at the gym the other day and needed to change my workout appointment with my trainer. She asked if I could call her the day before to remind her of the time change. I thought....now not only do I have to write the new time in my calendar, but I have to include a note to myself to call her. That's double memory duty for me. Yet, I knew if I didn't do it, I couldn't count on her to remember. And, she makes no excuses for her lack of effort to remember. She just kids me about being so organized.

But, isn't that a good thing?!

How do people...especially multi-tasking "later" moms...function without some level of organization?

And, believe me, I'm far from perfect in this arena. One look at my home office with all its piles would tell you so. But, I make a point of carrying my datebook with me to record appointments on the spot. And, I have an on-going TO DO list that comes with me as well, so I can add items as they occur to me. And, I've been known to email a note to myself on my Blackberry when it's something I need to take care of workwise.

If I didn't do this, I wouldn't know whether I'm coming or going, personally or professionally.

And, we have a large calendar at home where I record appointments that relate to our family, i.e. upcoming kids parties, school holidays, theatre tickets, etc.

It works for us. Our household/lives needs some semblance of order, and I'm the designated keeper, like it or not. Someone's gotta do it.

Is it you in your home?

Do you find that you're more on top of things than other moms/people in general, or is it a challenge for you to keep track of all that life brings?

There certainly is a lot to handle, and it feels like more 'n more the older I get. Understandably, one can easily get overwhelmed with life's minutia. But, how can we even attempt to tackle it all with grace if we can't keep track of it?

Have you created a system for yourself and your family that works?

If so, please share your tips......

Ho Ho Ho Holiday Birthdays

As soon as that calendar turned December 1, I felt it in my bones creaking up my neck and all the way down into my toes. Oh the stress. All the shopping, searching for perfect gifts, schlepping, wrapping, baking, cooking and every toy needs batteries!!! ...Oh my God. Help. I'm sure you all can relate. To top it off, my middle child, Kelly, the easy-going kid--the one that hardly ever asks for much--has her 8th birthday coming on the 14th. Every year it's always in the middle of this holiday chaos and we make a point to have a separate birthday party to make her feel special.

This year, a major North Easter snow storm is expected on Saturday the 15th and half of our family from upstate New York, might not be able to make it down to Long Island. Could someone please tell God to postpone the snow? Just for one day? Kelly never asks for much, so when we told her Don't worry, you'll still get birthday presents from mommy and daddy if they can't come...she said, "but I want to be with all of my family...that's what it's about." I got choked up and prayed hard and fast that the snow would wait for Kelly's birthday party.

As for the shopping: Ya think my husband could tell me sooner that he needs holiday gifts for people in the office? Like people he hardly ever talks about or doesn't give me a clue as to what they might want? I think sometimes I'll fix him and buy something inappropriate like a nail salon gift certificate for his boss Tony.

Well happy shopping, wrapping and baking to all! I can't wait till January 2 when I can put my feet up and drink a cup of Jasmine tea and relax and watch the kids eating cookies and enjoying their new toys.