Viva L'Esperienza! by Liimu

OMG, I am on my way to Italy! As a birthday present to me this year, my mother agreed to come up to Philadelphia from her home in North Carolina to watch the kids with my stepfather. My husband and I are about to enjoy TEN DAYS in Italy without the kids.

And I miss them already. (Imagine the sheepish grin on my face.) I know they feel the same way, because yesterday, as we sat enjoying airport sushi, my phone rang and it was my 7 year old daughter. I could barely understand her words through her sobbing, but I was able to glean that she was missing us already. She said every time she thought about the race (we ran the Race for the Cure together on Mother’s Day), she saw my face. I told her I felt the same way.

“Close your eyes,” I said. “Are they closed?”

“Yes.” (sob, sniff)

“Imagine I am hugging you tight, can you feel it?”

Silence, and then, “Yes.”

“Now imagine I’m nuzzling my face into your neck, now imagine I’m tickling you so you’ll stop crying!” She laughed a little bit.

She’ll be okay. I know she will. My mom raised me and my five siblings, and we’re all doing reasonably well. We’re all still alive, anyway. Kidding – we’re all doing very well.. And my sister and her 11 year old daughter have also promised to pitch in where they can.

The amazing thing about this vacation is not just that we are on our own for the first time in years. (The contrast between our airport check in experience yesterday and the one from last Christmas is uncanny. Think smart carte piled high with suitcases, strollers and knufflebunny. Think all five of us assigned seats in different parts of the plane, not even two together, thanks to the fact that we were flying at the height of the holiday season.) Yesterday, we were checked in and at the gate in about 20 minutes, no lie. But even more amazing than that is the fact that we are free from worrying about our children’s safety, thanks to the kindness and generosity of our family, who love them almost as much as we do and will definitely keep them safe. And thanks to that, we are free to really enjoy all that Italy has to offer.

Viva ‘L'Esperienza! Live the experience!!

My Mother's Day - by Liimu

Mother’s Day used to be all about cards and flowers, my biggest complaint being that I wished I could get a day to myself for a change, away from the kids, away from responsibility. That all changed for me last year, along with my whole perspective on what Mother’s Day means to me, when a teeny bug invaded our lives and turned our whole world upside down.

I remember distinctly all the things I was consumed with last year - running the Broad Street Run (three minutes faster than this year’s time, I feel obliged to add). I was on top of the world, complaining about nothing, except how slow business had been lately. Okay, that’s a bit of an understatement. I was consumed with losing weight and gaining business, only slightly distracted by the fact that my six-year old daughter couldn’t seem to shake a mysterious fever. Pages and pages of my journals from that time period show how completely out of whack my priorities were:

May 4, 2009

Amelia still has a fever today. We’re going to the doctor in an hour. Hopefully he can figure out what the problem is. This has gone on for a long time. I feel things shifting with regard to work. Finally! Yesterday was the Broad Street Run. I rocked it! I ran it in an hour and 45 minutes. A 10:35 pace. Amazing!

May 5, 2009

I am in tune with myself today. Slowing down and creating space in my schedule. I will not freak out about all I have to be. I will do what I can. Amelia is still home sick today. If I can just get to the gym, maybe get my nails done, I’ll be happy. Will I be in the 150s this week? Will I see it? I really hope so. I need to just breathe into my life. I’ve been feeling overwhelmed and unsure.

May 7, 2009

I can do this. I can bring this company back to life. I know I can. I’m going to get back track and start writing again, start working out again, start MOVING again. We’re taking Amelia to the ER today to get some tests done. She’s on day 7 of fever. God, please let her be OK. Please let her be OK. Heal her, Lord. My little angel. Don’t let anything happen to her, please, Lord. Everything else just isn’t that important right now. All I care about is her healing.

We were told by our family doctor (during the third visit in less than a month) that if the fever didn’t break by the end of day 7, we should take her to the hospital. She woke up on day 7 with not only fever, but a rash over most of her body, swollen trunk and limbs, lethargic and extremely irritable. That is when the nightmare began.

When we got to Abington Hospital (what I now feel is one of the best hospitals in the country), the ER doctor on call said she believed what she was looking at was a case of the very rare Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever . She recommended we put Amelia on an extremely severe course of the antibiotic, Doxycycline. The potential side effect of the drug was that her teeth might be permanently tinted gray. That sounded sort of harsh to me, and I told her so. “What’s the risk if we don’t treat with the antibiotics?” “If this is Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever,” she told us gravely, “Amelia could very well die.”

The doctor then recommended Amelia be rushed directly down to CHOP. Soon after we got there, the infection spread to Amelia’s spine, rendering her paralyzed, and then to her brain, so that she no longer remembered how to sip from a straw or who her parents were. For nearly a week, we sat next to her bed and asked each other how this had happened. How had we gotten to this point? How were we now looking at our beautiful child, facing doctors who were telling us that she may never walk again, that she may suffer permanent brain damage, that she may suffer a stroke any minute that would kill her? My husband and I spent those days in tears as family members flew in from all over the country to do what they could to help, to do anything they could to get her to come out of it.

I remember so clearly one day sitting next to her bed and my husband asked, yet again, what we had done to deserve this and I had a moment of epiphany and I said, “I don’t know what brought us to this place. But I know that from this moment forward, I’m going to do everything I can with my attitude and my thinking and my prayers to bring us out it. And so from this moment on, I don’t want to hear anything about how did we get to this point. From this moment on, I don’t want to hear anything about the possibility of what horrible things that could happen to her from this point on. All I want to do is focus on our daughter getting well, and the image of her sitting up in that hospital bed, watching SpongeBob Squarepants and playing Uno cards. That’s all I want to think about, that’s all I want to hear about, that’s all I want to focus on. Period.”

Soon after, I asked me husband to go home to get some much needed rest, and to let me spend some time alone with our daughter. That night, at 10 pm, I scooched my chair up next to her bed to settle in to read her a story, as if we were home in her room filled with pink and purple flowers, instead of in a sterile hospital room. I asked my tiny daughter which story she wanted me to read: Winnie the Pooh or KnuffleBunny? To my shock and amazement, I heard a tiny voice in response say, “KnuffleBunny.” That voice was the sweetest sound I had maybe ever heard, and one I thought I might never hear again. I started to cry, and I started to text everyone: “She said ‘KnuffleBunny!’ She said ‘KnuffleBunny!’” And of course, I read her the book, and by the next day, she was sitting up in that bed playing Uno cards and watching SpongeBob. The doctors were dumbfounded at how quickly she was improving – exponentially, they said. They questioned whether the charts were accurate, because the patient they were observing was so vastly improved over the one described in her chart by the doctor who had visited her just hours earlier.

Today, my Amelia’s biggest concern is that she has not yet mastered a headstand. I spent last Mother’s Day in the hospital by her side. This Mother’s Day, I will spend with all three of my children, enjoying the Race for the Cure in the morning, playing outside in the afternoon, and then leaving them in the capable hands of my own mother as I go off to spend ten days in Italy with my husband in celebration of my upcoming 40th birthday. I am so grateful and blessed for this life that I have, and I know that my connection to my Higher Power and my ability to stay positive in the midst of the most horrific trials and tribulations, are in large part why I have the life I have today. So this Mother’s Day, I will hug my children a little bit tighter, and thank them for being here, for they are what I am celebrating on that day, not me. What I celebrate this Mother’s Day is my children – their beauty, their joy, their growth and their successes, and perhaps most of all, their ability to help me see what’s really important.

Happy Mother’s Day, everyone.

The Athlete Within -- by Liimu

Most of us, during the late pregnancy and early parenthood, voraciously search for all the information we can find about the ways in which becoming a mother will change our lives. Friends and family members share their memories of sleepless nights and mornings spent scrounging through the closets looking for something that’s reasonably wrinkle-free, fits, and isn’t stained with spit up or something worse. Websites like Babyfit, Babycenter, Parenting and iVillage are bursting with helpful tips and advice. What should I pack in my hospital bag? What will I need for the nursery? How can I ensure breastfeeding success? What are my options if I’m not successful? And probably the most asked question of all, When will I lose the baby weight?

What I learned as a new mom is that answering these questions doesn’t even scratch the surface of the real issues I faced after the baby came. I have friends who lost their baby weight before they even returned from maternity leave (though I have many more friends, thank God, who – like me – are still struggling with the last 20 pounds, three years later). Even for those lucky few who did find the number on the scale settling right back to where it had been nine months earlier when the stick first showed two lines, there was an unpleasant surprise in store. Their original weight had been redistributed in new and unsightly ways! What was this new pooch poking out over my waistband? Who invited those big bumps on the sides of my thighs? What’s up with my feet being a half size larger? And don’t get me started on the boobs. Bigger, flatter, droopier, leakier, there seems to be no end to the ways in which that region has turned on us and become an unrecognizable version of what was for some of us our once most prized assets.

I realized after the birth of my second child that although I did everything “right” according to the websites and physicians, and had another beautiful, healthy girl as a result, I still felt betrayed by my body after the dust settled. I had been through an emotionally draining, physically exhausting experience that left my body permanently transformed. I had also seen for the second time that my body could do amazing things – for the second time in less than 18 months, I had endured more than 30 hours of excruciating labor and produced new life. Could I perhaps undertake another, similarly redefining experience and transform yet again? I could, and I would. I began to focus on redefining myself as an athlete, and to challenge my body to do what it could, rather than weigh what it could. In January of 2005, I set a personal goal of running a 10K race. I scoured the internet for information about running with the same unbridled enthusiasm I had when I’d been researching pregnancy. I found online running plans, the best running trails, and found online communities and support. By the end of the year, I had run a marathon. I was a runner. Soon after completing it, I became the leader of the Philadelphia Chapter of Moms in Motion, helping other moms to achieve their fitness goals and redefine themselves as athletes.

Whether your inclination is to swim, walk, bike or run, there are tons of reasons to find your inner athlete. And who knows? Maybe by finding your inner athlete you can help those around you have the courage to go on a quest for their own athlete within. When I first started running, my five-year old daughter used to ask, “Mommy, why do you go running?” Now she asks, “Mommy, can I go with you next time?” And this year, my answer is yes! My 7-year old daughter is currently training to complete her very first 5K, and I will be cheering her on every step of the way.

Rainy Day Fun -- by Liimu

As I sit watching the rain splash against the windows, settling into the idea of a weekend of nonstop rain, it makes me reflect about water, and how important it is to be in the flow of life. When water rushes down along the side of the street, it flows easily around the rocks and sticks that might be in its way. Sometimes, a stick will get carried a long for a bit, and then fall off to the side. The water doesn’t worry about what that means, or how long the stick will go along for the ride. It just flows.

That’s very much how I’ve had to be this past few weeks. As a mother of three young daughters – ages 7, 6, and 3 – and a business owner and budding singer/songwriter, there are a hundred moving pieces to keep track of in any given day. If I get all jammed up about things not going according to my plan, well, then I’m just jammed up. I’m the stick stuck in a crevice of the curb, not allowing the current of life to just take me where I’m supposed to go. If, on the other hand, I’m in the flow of things, then I can often happily see, looking back, how things have gone exactly according to Plan.

Take, for instance, my upcoming trip with my daughters down to see my mother over Spring break. When we started planning our trip, my mom had a ton of commitments to juggle and I could see it was really stressing her out. Rather than get all bunched up about it, I told her if she would be willing to leave us a key somewhere, we would come and hang out in her neck of the woods, whether she’s there or not. This gave her the freedom to do what she really wanted to do, rather than extend any offers out of a sense of obligation. So, when she invited us to come and spend some time with her in Myrtle Beach at a lovely hotel with an indoor pool and lazy river, I happily said yes. That wouldn’t have even been an option if I had gotten all offended and upset, like I used to when I was younger.

I have learned in my years of recovery that when things don’t go according to my plan, it’s always because the Powers that Be have a much better Plan than what my little human brain was able to come up with. I have passed that attitude on to my children and they are growing up to believe that anything is possible, and that change is exciting, not something to be feared.

It’s a rainy weekend. So much for going to the playground or riding bikes, or all the other things we have been dreaming about doing this entire snowy winter. Rather than lament the fact that we can’t enjoy those fair-weather activities, my girls and I will look upon the unexpected showers as God wiping the slate of our weekend plans clean so we can dream up entirely new things to do that will be even more fun.

Show I Recommend -- Menopause the Musical

Inspired by a hot flash and a bottle of wine, Menopause The Musical® is playing on Long Island (NY) at Port Washington’s Landmark on Main Street Theatre for a limited engagement now through August 30th. I had the opportunity to take a friend to see it last evening for her birthday, and it was a fun girls night out. In particular, given that she is my long time friend from grade school, it made us all the more aware of the different phases of life we have been through together. Though either of us has yet to hit menopause (I'm in peri), we could relate to the trials 'n tribulations of the gals in the show.

Written by Jeanie Linders, Menopause The Musical® has become an international phenomenon having been seen by nearly 11 million people all over the world (13 countries and 250 cities!) since it debuted in a 76-seat perfume-shop-turned-theatre in Orlando, Florida in 2001.

Billed as “The Hilarious Celebration of Women and The Change®,” the original, off-Broadway musical begins with four women, “Professional Woman,” “Soap Star,” “Iowa Housewife” and “Earth Mother,” at a Bloomingdale’s lingerie sale with nothing in common but a black lace bra - and hot flashes, night sweats, memory loss, chocolate binges, not enough sex, too much sex and day-to-day challenges with aging parents, aging children and aging partners.

They share their ups and downs through a collection of 25 re-lyricized baby boomer songs from the 60's, 70's and 80s. Disco hit “Stayin’ Alive” becomes “Stayin’ Awake,” Motown favorite “My Guy” is transformed into “My Thighs,” "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" switches to "In the Guest Room or on the Sofa, My Husband Sleeps at night,” and “Puff The Magic Dragon” becomes the anthem to exercise, Puff, My God I’m Draggin’”.

“It may not be Shakespeare, but our focus is different. We want to bring women together and empower them. This is an event – a happening,” says Kathi Glist, one of the show’s producers. “It resonates with just about any woman over 40, but it is enjoyed by all. And the younger women laugh just as hard,” she adds. “It’s a party every night!”

“The show has become a point of relating, a celebration of a life passage that launches women into a new exciting phase of their lives,” says Linders. “Most women know intuitively what every other woman is facing with the onset of the menopause. They talk about it with their friends and, on occasion with their spouses. But, when they are in a theatre with hundreds of women, and they’re all shouting ‘That’s Me!’ then they know what they are experiencing is normal. They call it a sisterhood!”

Show times for Menopause The Musical® are Wednesday through Saturdays at 8PM with matinees on Saturday and Sunday at 2PM. Running time is 90 minutes without intermission. All tickets are $45. Purchase tickets online at: www.menopauselongisland.com or by calling: 516-717-3990. Girls Night Out/Groups 10+ Call Group Sales Box Office 1-800-223-7565 or 212-398-8383.