Letting Go & Slowing Down -- by Robin

I've been practicing a lot of letting go of late.

The older I get, the more I realize that so much is out of our hands. And, for those of us, like me, who thrive on a certain level of control, it gets tiring to be in relentless pursuit of that.

So, I've decided to put things out to the universe, as best I can.

If I want something, sure I'll pursue it, but I'm not going to let it keep me up at night. I refuse. I sleep poorly enough as it is.

Take this weekend. We had a variety of plans. And, Seth is now sick, so our calendar has quickly emptied. We cancelled everything. And, while I'm disappointed, it's also okay. We'll all chill at home and try to get healthy and strong. I'm still getting over a cold, and they're predicting a blizzard here in New York. I sure hope the forecasters are wrong. I detest snow. While beautiful to look at, shoveling and driving in it, and the ice and slush that results, is far from fun, in my book. And, a skiier or sledder I'm not.

We gave Seth a Nerf Dart Tag game today (thanks to Hasbro) as his last Hanukkah present, and he and I played with it. No doubt, it will occupy much of our indoor weekend. He's loving it. It comes with protective glasses that two players wear, along with foam vests with targets on them that you shoot at with the Nerf guns. We put one of the vests on a stuffed pig, and had a shooting match in our living room. Piggie survived, and I have to admit, it was a fun time. http://www.hasbro.com/nerf/darttag/

Not sure what we'll do tomorrow. Watch some movies on cable. Maybe bake cookies. Quality family time. Slow time. Time that we often don't allow ourselves because life is so full.

Before you know it, the holiday school break will be here, and we'll be hustling around pursuing different activities to take advantage of the time off. So, in a way, it's nice to be forced to slow the pace, be fully present, and just enjoy each other and what the universe has in store.

NEW CARA MEYERS, NEW MOM BLOGGER FOR MOTHERHOODLATER.COM

When “No” Means “Green Eggs and Ham” - by Cara Meyers


What is it about certain six year old boys needing to “test” their mothers in every possible way imaginable? Lately, my six year old son has his own views about what the word “no” actually means.

Take, for instance, this senerio: My son’s friend had a death in the family this past week, making their usual Thursday afternoon playdate impossible to have.

Me: “Honey, Benjamin’s family is very busy today so we can’t see him this afternoon.”

My Son: “Well, how about later?”

Me: “No, Honey. Benjamin’s family needs to be alone today, so we are not having the playdate.”

My Son: “But Benjamin’s not busy.”

Me: (Getting irritated) “We are still not having the playdate. End of story.”

My Son: “What if you call Benjamin’s Mom?”

Me: “I said, “no!” “I am not calling Benjamin’s Mom”...(“Sam I Am!”), “We’re not having a playdate!”...(“Green Eggs and Ham!)

My Son: “Well, what about 5 o’clock? You can call Benjamin’s Mom then.”

Me: (Now irritated AND getting sarcastic), “What part of the word “no” don’t you understand?”...(“I will not call at 5 o’clock! I will not do it! I just will not!")

My son: “Maybe we can walk over to Benjamin’s house and see if he can play?"

Me: (Steam now emitting from my ears), “PLEASE tell me what you don’t understand about “no!!” I really want to know what there is about “no” that doesn’t make sense to you!!...(“I WILL NOT KNOCK, Sam I Am, I WILL NOT KNOCK, Green Eggs and Ham! I do not want to call or write! There is no playdate, THAT IS RIGHT!!)

My son: “Well, maybe we could meet him in the park?"

Me: (Glaring and taking deep breaths while thinking...”I will not meet him in the park, I will not meet him in the dark...I will not call his Mom, oh no, I will not knock on doors and oh...WE WILL NOT MEET HIM, LITTLE MAN, NOW GET YOUR BOOK , ‘GREEN EGGS AND HAM’!!!”)

My son: “Could you pick Benjamin up and bring him to our house?”

Me: (Almost ready to blow, “I will not, WILL NOT, let you play! Why must you ask me every way? I will not pick up Ben to play, I will not go to the park today! I will not call his Mom or knock! I will not do it at 5 o’clock! We will not have a playdate today! NOW WHY CAN’T YOU LISTEN TO WHAT I SAY??!!)

Me: “I’m done with this conversation. Now go read your book”.


Written by Cara Meyers, currently a stay-at-home Mom who lives with her husband, six year old son and two dogs on Long Island, NY. Cara had her son shortly before she turned 40 years old and was a practicing Registered Dietitian before she became a Mom. Blogging has now become her new “profession!”

Show I Recommend -- Menopause the Musical

Inspired by a hot flash and a bottle of wine, Menopause The Musical® is playing on Long Island (NY) at Port Washington’s Landmark on Main Street Theatre for a limited engagement now through August 30th. I had the opportunity to take a friend to see it last evening for her birthday, and it was a fun girls night out. In particular, given that she is my long time friend from grade school, it made us all the more aware of the different phases of life we have been through together. Though either of us has yet to hit menopause (I'm in peri), we could relate to the trials 'n tribulations of the gals in the show.

Written by Jeanie Linders, Menopause The Musical® has become an international phenomenon having been seen by nearly 11 million people all over the world (13 countries and 250 cities!) since it debuted in a 76-seat perfume-shop-turned-theatre in Orlando, Florida in 2001.

Billed as “The Hilarious Celebration of Women and The Change®,” the original, off-Broadway musical begins with four women, “Professional Woman,” “Soap Star,” “Iowa Housewife” and “Earth Mother,” at a Bloomingdale’s lingerie sale with nothing in common but a black lace bra - and hot flashes, night sweats, memory loss, chocolate binges, not enough sex, too much sex and day-to-day challenges with aging parents, aging children and aging partners.

They share their ups and downs through a collection of 25 re-lyricized baby boomer songs from the 60's, 70's and 80s. Disco hit “Stayin’ Alive” becomes “Stayin’ Awake,” Motown favorite “My Guy” is transformed into “My Thighs,” "The Lion Sleeps Tonight" switches to "In the Guest Room or on the Sofa, My Husband Sleeps at night,” and “Puff The Magic Dragon” becomes the anthem to exercise, Puff, My God I’m Draggin’”.

“It may not be Shakespeare, but our focus is different. We want to bring women together and empower them. This is an event – a happening,” says Kathi Glist, one of the show’s producers. “It resonates with just about any woman over 40, but it is enjoyed by all. And the younger women laugh just as hard,” she adds. “It’s a party every night!”

“The show has become a point of relating, a celebration of a life passage that launches women into a new exciting phase of their lives,” says Linders. “Most women know intuitively what every other woman is facing with the onset of the menopause. They talk about it with their friends and, on occasion with their spouses. But, when they are in a theatre with hundreds of women, and they’re all shouting ‘That’s Me!’ then they know what they are experiencing is normal. They call it a sisterhood!”

Show times for Menopause The Musical® are Wednesday through Saturdays at 8PM with matinees on Saturday and Sunday at 2PM. Running time is 90 minutes without intermission. All tickets are $45. Purchase tickets online at: www.menopauselongisland.com or by calling: 516-717-3990. Girls Night Out/Groups 10+ Call Group Sales Box Office 1-800-223-7565 or 212-398-8383.

Future Later Mom Empty Nester

I am so tired of this winter. Are you?

And, Seth's school bus is stressing me out.

The bus aide gave me the evil eye the other day when we weren't standing outside awaiting their arrival. It's cold out there in the morning. Can't we wait just inside our doorway, and Seth can scamper out when they arrive?

Today the bus was two hours late. There was a school opening delay due to the weather yet again.

I ask you....are we done with snow yet this season? I hate the ice and mess. Don't like driving or walking on it. It's just not my thing. A sno-bunny I'm not.

So, why do I live in a place like New York? Sometimes I wonder. Though, there's a lot good to be said about it, but the weather wouldn't be high on my list.

Seth said a funny thing the other day.

He announced how a little girl in his class wants to marry him, and he might want to marry her one day. Not now, of course. They're 5. (though I often say he's 5 going on 15) And, he went on to say that when he gets married, he'd like to live in our house. Not with us....but without us...I presume.

Part of me thought, that would be cool, if he really means it. I'm not sure I personally want to live in this house forever. I do love my house (and we're about to embark on a major basement project). But, life in suburbia doesn't always suit me. I might like to live in the city one day and maybe even retire there.

But, how do you decide where you want to retire? Some flock to warmer climates, and I wouldn't mind that. But, would I be happy in a place like Florida or Arizona? Not sure. Maybe. I do like cactus and mountains and wild rabbits. It's something to think about.

It also got me thinking about being a later mom empty nester one day. I have mom friends who are already empty nesters and are in their 50s. I don't know how old I'll be when I fit that bill, but I do know I'll be at least 60 if not older. 60 feels like such a big number. Wow. Can you imagine?! Me 60 one day. G-d willing, that will be the case.

Where will I be in my life then? What will I want? Questions. Questions. And, I'm certainly not prepared to answer any of them.

How did I get on this topic anyway?

Oh yeah....it snowed here again, and I'm feeling a bit clastrophobic, having stayed in all day today.

Tomorrow is another day, and I have a luncheon meeting. Followed by a gym workout. I look forward to both.

Under the Weather

I hate to be a complainer, but here goes anyway. So, please forgive me if I sound like a broken record....but what does it take to keep yourself well as a mom?

I found out yesterday I have strep throat, and this time, I caught it from our nanny. Now, don't get me wrong. I am grateful to have a nanny, but unfortunately, she isn't great about taking care of herself, and I'm often walking around the house spraying Lysol. But, this time, it didn't work, so now I'm on antibiotic, and feeling rotten.

This caps off an already super sickly season at our home, including colds, pink eye and the stomach flu. I can't even think of the last time we have all been totally well. And, we take vitamins.

Someone said to me that it's because the weather in NY hasn't been consistently cold, enabling germs and various viral strains to circulate freely. I, personally, have no clue....but I am tired of being ill....and I'm not a fan of antibiotics. I stocked up on the yogurt, which I was told is advisable to offset the effect of antibiotics. I can't each much anyway since it's hard to swallow, so this is ideal.

The doctor said try to rest and drink a lot. Sounds good....but rest with a five year old and a husband tied up with tax season? Is he going to come to my house and play with my son?!

So now I'm trying to keep a distance from Seth and Marc, and am washing my hands constantly. I've explained to Seth over and over again that I can't come close to him. And, it's hard. I miss his hugs. But, the last thing I'd want is for him to get strep. Wow....is it painful!!

I was supposed to go to Seth's school this week and bring cupcakes to celebrate his 5th birthday, but that had to be rescheduled.

Being 40 something raging hormone mom, it's hard enough to feel 100 percent. That's a whole other story, and I've blogged about that before.

All I can say is that if the weather is a contributing factor to all this sickness, then bring on spring. I await it with open arms.