When I Grow Up...by Liimu

As I watch my belly grow and my daughters sing and play, I find myself wondering what they will be when they grow up. My daughters all want to be movie stars or pop singers, dreams that will likely change over time. It was my dream, too, and in my case, the dream never quite died. There was a long period of time where I wondered why my life had to take the turns it did, and why I never had the chance to realize my potential as a superstar pop phenomenon. Today was perhaps the first day I really felt like my life has gone exactly the best way possible. Realizing that has changed me and has changed the way I think about my role with helping to guide my children as they pursue their dreams.

When I was in my early twenties, I was at the Hard Rock Café in Myrtle Beach with my mother when I noticed Wyclef Jean and his entourage entering and sitting at the table next to us. Wyclef Jean is one of the founding members of the Fugees and was responsible for launching the career of Destiny’s Child and one of that group’s fairly well-known and successful members…Beyoncé. I was a huge fan of Destiny’s Child and the Fugees and could not contain my excitement at being seated right next to someone responsible for the two hugely successful (and talented) groups. I leaped out of my chair and asked if I could take a picture with Wyclef. As my mom snapped the picture, I leaned in close to him and whispered, “Can you do for me what you did for Destiny’s Child?” To my surprise, Wyclef responded, “Can you sing?” Of course, I said, “Yes.” (For those of you who haven’t heard me sing, you can check out my performance on NBC television in 2007 with Patti Labelle on YouTube or my original music at www.reverbnation.com/liimu.)

Wyclef then asked me if I had a demo, which I didn’t, but I would have broken into song right then and there – no shame in my game – if my mom hadn’t begged me to stop bothering them. I have often wondered if that might have been the moment my career took off. I think I also began to fantasize about my children actually pursuing their own dreams of superstardom as a way to finish my own story the way it should have gone.

In truth, I now realize that my story went exactly the way it should have. Having gotten sober at the tender age of 24, I know that I was a complete Lindsay Lohan-style train wreck waiting to happen when I met Wyclef. If I had been thrust into the spotlight, there’s no guarantee that my sobriety could have stood the test. What’s more, would I have met my wonderful husband? Had my wonderful kids? I love the life I have today and nothing is more important to me than being a mom. As for money, I have enough. And fame? That was never the reason I wanted to sing to begin with. In fact, I don’t particularly like being gawked at the handful times it’s happened. So, would my life have been better if I had gone down the path that Christina Aguilera, Britney Spears, and Rihanna all went? From what I read in the tabloids, not so much. I like having a private life. I like being able to take my kids to the Santa at the mall and to Ruby Tuesday for dinner afterward.

But what about them? What if they want to pursue that life, which they very well may? I’m clear now that my role is to neither pull them back nor to push them forward. My role is to provide them with a strong foundation of love, support, and spirituality, to keep them tethered to the important things that matter, so that they can fly as high as they want to without ever having to worry about floating off into space like a leftover balloon from a backyard birthday party. If I do my job right, they can have whatever job they want and it will be equally successful, equally fulfilling and equally okay with me.

Rainy Day Fun -- by Liimu

As I sit watching the rain splash against the windows, settling into the idea of a weekend of nonstop rain, it makes me reflect about water, and how important it is to be in the flow of life. When water rushes down along the side of the street, it flows easily around the rocks and sticks that might be in its way. Sometimes, a stick will get carried a long for a bit, and then fall off to the side. The water doesn’t worry about what that means, or how long the stick will go along for the ride. It just flows.

That’s very much how I’ve had to be this past few weeks. As a mother of three young daughters – ages 7, 6, and 3 – and a business owner and budding singer/songwriter, there are a hundred moving pieces to keep track of in any given day. If I get all jammed up about things not going according to my plan, well, then I’m just jammed up. I’m the stick stuck in a crevice of the curb, not allowing the current of life to just take me where I’m supposed to go. If, on the other hand, I’m in the flow of things, then I can often happily see, looking back, how things have gone exactly according to Plan.

Take, for instance, my upcoming trip with my daughters down to see my mother over Spring break. When we started planning our trip, my mom had a ton of commitments to juggle and I could see it was really stressing her out. Rather than get all bunched up about it, I told her if she would be willing to leave us a key somewhere, we would come and hang out in her neck of the woods, whether she’s there or not. This gave her the freedom to do what she really wanted to do, rather than extend any offers out of a sense of obligation. So, when she invited us to come and spend some time with her in Myrtle Beach at a lovely hotel with an indoor pool and lazy river, I happily said yes. That wouldn’t have even been an option if I had gotten all offended and upset, like I used to when I was younger.

I have learned in my years of recovery that when things don’t go according to my plan, it’s always because the Powers that Be have a much better Plan than what my little human brain was able to come up with. I have passed that attitude on to my children and they are growing up to believe that anything is possible, and that change is exciting, not something to be feared.

It’s a rainy weekend. So much for going to the playground or riding bikes, or all the other things we have been dreaming about doing this entire snowy winter. Rather than lament the fact that we can’t enjoy those fair-weather activities, my girls and I will look upon the unexpected showers as God wiping the slate of our weekend plans clean so we can dream up entirely new things to do that will be even more fun.

Vacation Reflection

Amazing how much I love my bed when I return from vacation.

We recently got new mattresses, and it's been a bigger adjustment than I anticipated. But, now that I'm getting used to it, I hate to leave it.

The older I get, the more I crave my beloved creature comforts. And, sleeping on a great bed that I'm accustomed to is one of them. Not to mention my pillow and egyptian cotton sheets.

I think back to my younger days when I lived in a college dorm, spent a summer with a family living in Nice, and took many a trip to Europe, staying in affordable (if not downright cheap) hotels in my 20s, and not thinking twice about the bed. It was all about the cost.

And, taking long plane rides didn't bother me. Now, I find I get restless even on a short flight. And, feel somewhat confined in the seats...feeling the need to stretch.

And of course, traveling with a five year old is a whole different experience. My son loves flying, and now that he's learning to read, he took tremendous pleasure in attempting to decipher and spell out phonetically the many technical words on the plane. I didn't noticed them so much before, but he was eager to point them out to me, including the emergency exits.

We returned Tuesday night from a five day trip. I had actually left on the trip earlier to attend an offsite business meeting, and met up with my husband and son who drove to Charleston, SC to pick me up. Then, we headed to Myrtle Beach, where we stayed for two nights. They had stayed there four nights total, and got to scope out the lay of the land.

Myrtle Beach is a great family destination. So much for kids to do.

And, this was off season, so some attractions were closed, but there was still plenty to explore and no crowds.

Children's Museum
Aquarium
Nascar Theme Park
Broadway on the Beach (with rides and shops)
Walking along the beach and gathering shells
Eating at cool places like Planet Hollywood, and Hard Rock Cafe

We had a full agenda every day.

And, in season, there are various outdoor water theme parks, fantasy miniature golf places, etc.

While there are a plethora of places to stay, we enjoyed our stay at the Dunes Village Resort and would totally recommend it.

We had a two room suite which was very spacious. Seth, my son, loved having his own room with a tv, and it allowed us to sleep in a bit, without him readily waking us up. We had a view of the beach, and enjoyed having breakfast in the dining room that also had a water view.

Most of all, Seth ADORED their indoor water park. They have the only indoor water park of all the Myrtle Beach hotels, and it stayed open until 11PM. And, it even featured hot tubs for adults. A lazy river with inner tubes and car floats. Basketball. Squirting elephants. Fantastic slides. Etc. And, because we were there off season, it was not a total scene, which was truly appreciated. Seth would have spent the entire day in the water park, and there are actually two of them on premises, each in a different building. We hung out at both.

Their website is www.dunesvillage.com, and I invite you to check it out, if you're looking for a family getaway.

We would love to go back on another occasion, perhaps closer to the in season, so we could check out some of the other attractions that were closed this time 'round.

Now I'm racing the clock to play catch-up after our trip...and still have to unpack...but I look forward to seeing the photos from the trip and know that Seth will for a long time be talking about Dunes Village and the cool indoor water park.


PS -- If you like to read about travel, you might enjoy the website www.travelingmom.com. A friend of mine, Fran Capo, writes a blog there called Traveling Adventure Mom.