My Independence Day by Liimu

Happy 4th of July everyone!


For many people, the 4th of July is about laying by the pool, or about hopping from cookout to cookout, eating tons of hot dogs and hamburgers, potato salad, chips and that cake that's iced to look like an American Flag. Hell, I have to admit that I looked forward to the cookouts and the pigouts more years than I care to admit.
This year, the 4th of July was not about getting blasted or even about mindless eating (for once). It was about freedom. Freedom from compulsive eating AND from compulsive dieting. It was about freedom from addiction of all kinds. It was about freedom from poverty (I signed contracts on two fabulous new projects recently and financial freedom is finally in sight after many months of living week to week and robbing Peter to pay Paul). It's about freedom from illness - dramatic, life-threatening illness, like the Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever that my 6 year old faced last year, and from mundane health issues like my acne (apparently caused by an allergy to dairy - who knew?) or achy joints. This year on July 4th, everyone in our family was healthy and happy and we enjoyed our day together, fully. This year, July 4th was about freedom from self-pity or martyrdom, freedom from feeling (too) overwhelmed. Freedom!!!

I woke up July 4 morning without my alarm, as I do every morning, and turned on a mindful meditation MP3 to start my day off right. Then, I got up and made my coffee, read my meditation books and wrote a couple pages in my journal. Ate a yummy vitatop muffin on my way to the trails, and then ran a quick and totally fun 5 miles with one of my dearest friends before the heat became unbearable. Came home and made a yummy protein-rich breakfast, and got the girls together to watch the July 4 relay races. It was hot, kinda boring, and then not one, but two of my three daughters had to pee. We went to the pool to use the bathroom - locked. The community hall, locked. The library, of course, locked. I looked at my girls and said, "You know what? This isn't flowing. Let's go home." "Are you mad?" they asked. "Nope, not mad. Just going with the flow."

Home we came, where they played learning games on the computers and in their new workbooks, while I caught up on the blogs, which were long overdue for an update. (Look at me, writing yet another blog weeks ahead of time. Reverse Snooze! It works every time! Of course, you guys are probably wondering why you're reading about July 4 on July 22, but hey - it could be worse. I could be posting about the 4th annual McGill Family Easter Egg Hunt.)

I am so grateful to be free today. Not just free in the sense of living in a free country, though of course, I am also grateful for that. But for so many years, I was a prisoner in my MIND, which is so full of shoulds and should nots, I could never hear what I wanted to do in any given moment. Today, I am free to live each moment committed to health, sanity, and joy. And I truly, TRULY thank God for that.

Freedom and love to you all!

Keeping Up with the Mother Joneses

I've never considered myself a competitive person. An achiever....yes. Driven.....yes. Perfectionist at times....sure (not that I've succeeded at that, or should want to). Control freak. I do like things a certain way, I admit.

Well, that and more, needs to be abandoned when it comes to parenting, I'm quickly learning.

And, the other thing that I'm learning is not to compare myself or my child to others.

No book comes with parenting, though plenty are written on the subject. When Seth was little, I used to peruse some of them. These days I have little time for that and would sooner reach out to a parenting expert or seasoned mom friend who has been there, done that.

I did both recently after a chat with a mom friend that left me thinking...a lot.

She was speaking about a series of well-regarded books a friend had recommended as learning tools to teach your child when they are very young. And, she applauded how a couple of moms, in particular, who she knows, have used them with their children to teach them to read at a young age, etc.

I wondered what Seth is supposed to be capable of at this time. I spoke with his teacher who said he is progressing as he should in terms of knowing/writing letters, names, numbers, etc. But, I thought, is this enough? Should I be doing more? As a parent, we want our children to succeed. We have high aspirations for them and want to know that we're doing/have done our best.

No doubt there are varying schools of thought on this subject. But, there is something to be said for letting a child be a child. Sure academics are important, and school does seem WAY demanding these days, but quality play time is essential too. And, according to a parenting expert I well respect and have consulted with, at the age of 5, allowing your child's imagination to soar through creative play is something to strive for.

We can expose them to new experiences, and endeavor to share what we think is cool about the world. And, that is important. But, ultimately, they are their own person with interests, strengths, challenges, etc. that we can do our best to support and nuture...and they may not coincide with ours. But, that's ok.

One day our kids will fly on their own, and their childhood should be just that. A time of fun, games, love...and certainly learning...but it shouldn't be about "keeping up with the mother jones." And, I'm not saying that this mom friend or others I know view parenting as a contest. I'm just speaking for myself in that I need to...and want to... focus on Seth and his uniqueness...and let his natural abilities soar. Comparing him will surely not do either of us any good.