Testing, Shmesting...My Mom is Coming. By Liimu

I started to write a whole blog about amniocentesis and advanced maternal age and genetic testing and blah blah blah and it was just kind of depressing. What I really want to talk about is the fact that my mother is coming to visit today. I’m really looking forward to seeing her, but I have to admit that I’m a little nervous about how she’ll react to my big old pregnant belly. Is she gonna think that I’m holding it together this time, or is it gonna be obvious that I’ve already gained the recommended amount despite the fact that I’m only halfway through my pregnancy? Overall, I feel really healthy and extremely blessed to be pregnant again, not only with our fourth child but with our very first son. I’m very much looking forward to sharing that joy with my mother, who had five children of her own. I do have to admit, however, that my mother’s reaction to my ever-blossoming pregnant body is not exactly at the bottom of my list of worries.

I come from a long line of women, you’re probably not at all surprised to hear, who were obsessed with their weight. I can still remember visiting my grandmother in the nursing home when she was 93 years old, and her telling me that she weighed herself every day and replaced two of her daily meals with Slimfast shakes. Why they would let a 93 year old woman have Slimfast instead of a meal, I have no idea. I guess I say all that to say that I come by all this neurosis honestly. Anyway, my children are totally excited for Grandma’s meet. She may even get to see my eldest daughter’s first winter swim meet, and we all plan to go out to dinner on Thursday night to a fabulous restaurant in Abington, PA called Timber. It should be a fun evening. By then I should have the results of my fetal echocardiogram and hopefully have been told that the baby is growing fine and is completely healthy. By all accounts, it should be a fabulous weekend…if I can just let go of my age-old neuroses and relax, it might actually end up that way!

GUEST BLOG POST: Flying High: Transitioning from the Corporate World to Baby in Coach by David Couper

One moment you are being a leader, leading meetings and leading the herd onto the plane as the privileged frequent flier and the next you are bring up a baby, meeting with no-one and you are leading your toddler – no dragging your toddler - down into the back of the plane and into coach as your career morphs into motherhood.

What happened?

Motherhood and your executive career collided! So how can you transition from a high-powered job, or actually any job, and to a role as mom?

1. Accept it’s going to be different
Any change is going to be different. If you were an executive, manager or working in a team, it will be different now you have a child. You can’t just work late, go on a business trip, or plan to work over the weekend even if you have great childcare, great family and great organization at home. You’re going to need to check if that’s OK and not being able to make an immediate decision will probably be different. But this change doesn’t need to be good or bad unless you choose to see it that way. Yes you may not be able to do that European trip or worse you may not even be asked now you have junior around. But in exchange you get time to spend with your family, avoid those security lines and the meetings with your boring counterparts that you never liked anyway! It’s different and you get to choose how you feel about it.

2. Work out your long-term strategy
Obviously you are planning what your work and home life looks like. Obviously? Well for some people it’s obvious. For others it may not be. But it’s good to work out how much time you want to spend at home once you have a child, or whether you want to or need to work fulltime, or if you intend to change direction or careers with the new family. Work out how to balance your new life and how you are going to finance it. Will you get a nanny or will grandma help out? Will you be at home 24/7 or will baby be at daycare during work hours? Plan out your first five years at least. The first five years takes you to kindergarten. The next ten to fifteen takes you through education and out of college. It’s worth thinking about those too and making some decisions.

3. Decide what you are going to give up and what you are going to take on
One of the hardest things to do is to accept that you can’t do everything. OK superstars give the impression they can be career woman, mother of ten, Nobel peace prize winner and able to make perfect brownies at the drop of a hat. But usually it’s with a team of hire-priced helpers. You can try and do 110% for your job and 110% for you family and you will probably find yourself going 110% crazy. For example, immaculate clothes are the sign of a high-powered executive. Ones with a throw-up stain are the sign of someone who is caring for a little one. You can make a pact that you will always be turned out perfectly and go ballistic the one time you aren’t or decide to never pick up your child in your business attire and let the au pair do it instead or just accept that your Prada may get poop on it. Life is not always going to be perfect and you decide to be OK with it.

4. Partner on the plan
As you work out your strategy and what is going to change you need to partner. Partner with your partner or spouse, your family or childcare providers and your co-workers and boss. It is better to be open and discuss possibilities rather than keep it to yourself. Your boss will not like surprises and if you don’t discuss your future he or she will make up something, which could be worse than the truth. Ensure your boss and co-workers that you can make the job work but also discuss any changes you will need to make to your schedule or on work expectations. Also do the same with your family and friends. Be honest; ask for help and set expectations. For example, you will still want to see your friends but the expensive lunches you used to have won’t work with junior around but a potluck at your home will.

5. Monitor and check in
As you go through this great adventure you need to check and see how the plan is going and what is working and what is not. The important part of this monitoring is to see if you need to do any course corrections. You may find that your mom loves looking after your baby for a couple of hours and is willing to do it twice a week instead of the once she does now. Or you may find that staying at home full time is driving you nuts and you need more adult company! Either way it’s OK to revise and change your plan.

Becoming a mother is a huge step made even bigger if you are trying to balance work. But it can be done. Just be realistic and don’t try to be superwoman (or mom).

At age 46, David Couper and his partner adopted a baby boy. Their son, Teddy, is now four years old. David is an author and career coach with many professional women and mothers as clients. His latest book: “Outsiders On The Inside: Creating a Winning Career…Even When You Don’t Fit In!” came out in August 2010.  Visit http://www.davidcoupercoach.com/.

GUEST BLOG POST: Jumpstart a Healthy School Year - by Dr. Susan S. Bartell

As we transition from carefree days of summer to structured, busy weeks of the school year, it’s a great time to start a new healthy lifestyle, along with the new notebooks! As kids return to school, as parents and caring adults, we must take an active role in helping them make healthy lifestyle choices, so they don’t slip into a “too much junk food” or “no time for exercise” rut. To do this, here are four conversations you get to have with your child:

1. “This fall, we’re making a pact as a family to make healthy changes. We’re going to eat fewer fast-food meals and more healthy home-cooked meals.”

2. “Here’s another great change – we’ll eat healthy snacks every day: fruits, vegetables, and low-fat cheese, yogurt and peanut butter, whole grain treats – at home and in your lunch box. Even if other kids bring less healthy snacks to school, we know that the best way to fuel your brain for learning is with healthy food!”

3. “It’s hard to stay active during the school year because you’re so busy. But, it’s important to move your body, so, I’m going to help you by making sure you get to play indoors or outside for at least half an hour every day – even when it’s cold!”

4. “You might not love this last one, but to help you stay active, we’ll limit screen time (TV, computer, handhelds) to no more than two hours each day. It might be hard at first, but your body will be happy, so I’m going to stay on top of it!”

For tips and ideas to help you and your children eat healthy and stay active – at home and school – visit Action for Healthy Kids.

A supporter of Action for Healthy Kids, Susan Bartell is a nationally recognized psychologist and award-winning author who seeks to help people recognize that they can have greater control over their emotional health and physical well-being, and can improve the quality of their lives. She facilitates healthy lifestyle seminars on topics that include teaching parents how to raise children with healthy relationships with food and eating, and how to care for themselves through physical activity and exercise. She is the author of Dr. Susan's Fit and Fun Family Action Plan: 301 Things You Can Do Today and writes a monthly feature for Action for Healthy Kids’ Family Corner.