Happy Birthday to Me! — by Margaret Hart

In about 24 hours I'll be another year older, and hopefully another year wiser.  As for my age? Well...it seems like just the other day when I'd jokingly say that I was 29.  These days, I'm perpetually 39. I figured it was about time to add a decade. 

I'm flattered when people tell me I don't look my age. Sometimes I get that "deer in headlights" look when someone finds out and just doesn't believe me.  In fact, one of my physicians always remarks on my age when I see him:  he glances down at my chart whenever he's about to write me a prescription, looks up at me and just shakes his head in disbelief.  "You have good genes," he always tells me.  I hope that my outward youthful appearance parallels an equally youthful inward condition, because I'd like to stick around long enough to see my son have grandchildren.

But staying healthy takes so much work.  And I never thought I'd hear myself saying this, but some things really do start to go as one ages.  It's true that it gets harder to keep the body  you had when you were 20.  Workouts at the gym are harder now.   But it's satisfying to see that I can keep up with the 85-year-old-woman at the Zumba class!  

Memory is another area that gets old as you age. There was a time when I could remember everything  I needed to do in my head. I never needed a list and I didn't need a calendar except when I was working. Now I always make a list.  I am the queen of lists.  Actually, some people make a living developing lists for other people. So that's not such a bad thing.

As I get older, I've been frustrated with my vision. It was always 20/20, but now I need glasses to read. I know that's not so bad, but when you've gone your whole life not having to wear glasses, it's maddening to not be able to read close up. Good thing my son is reading like crazy now. He helps when I can't find my reading glasses, and I need to know long to cook something in the microwave! 

The silliest thing, I think, is when I get in the car and start to drive, and suddenly I can't remember where I was going in such a hurry!  This might also have something to do with multi-tasking, and trying to do too much! Sound familiar?

So for this birthday, I'm making a promise to myself to slow things down a little. I'm going to enjoy being taken out to dinner by my family, and I'll be thoroughly surprised with the cake that I know is coming.  I'm sure there will be a cute little present or home-made card from my son, and I'm excited to see the joy on his face when he gives it to me. 

Last year he gave me a beautiful necklace with several different colored sapphires in it (with assistance from daddy). He picked it out for me, he explained, because it reminded him of a rainbow.  I don't remember much else about my birthday's past, but I remember the story about the rainbow. That's all I need on my birthday.  A rainbow.

  

40 Something Mom Memory

How is yours?

Your memory...that is.

This morning, I received a copy of an email newsletter I subscribe to, and they featured an article on this very subject. It came across my computer screen at a timely moment, as I prepare to go out of town and am hustling to remember/tackle all that I need to do before I leave.

I also find this a topic of discussion with other moms my age. Do you?

Since I turned 40, my memory is just not as sharp.

Thankfully I've always been detail-minded, but I find it's even more necessary now. And, there are times when I feel like I have to pick up the slack for others who struggle to keep track because they don't have a system.

For example, I was at the gym the other day and needed to change my workout appointment with my trainer. She asked if I could call her the day before to remind her of the time change. I thought....now not only do I have to write the new time in my calendar, but I have to include a note to myself to call her. That's double memory duty for me. Yet, I knew if I didn't do it, I couldn't count on her to remember. And, she makes no excuses for her lack of effort to remember. She just kids me about being so organized.

But, isn't that a good thing?!

How do people...especially multi-tasking "later" moms...function without some level of organization?

And, believe me, I'm far from perfect in this arena. One look at my home office with all its piles would tell you so. But, I make a point of carrying my datebook with me to record appointments on the spot. And, I have an on-going TO DO list that comes with me as well, so I can add items as they occur to me. And, I've been known to email a note to myself on my Blackberry when it's something I need to take care of workwise.

If I didn't do this, I wouldn't know whether I'm coming or going, personally or professionally.

And, we have a large calendar at home where I record appointments that relate to our family, i.e. upcoming kids parties, school holidays, theatre tickets, etc.

It works for us. Our household/lives needs some semblance of order, and I'm the designated keeper, like it or not. Someone's gotta do it.

Is it you in your home?

Do you find that you're more on top of things than other moms/people in general, or is it a challenge for you to keep track of all that life brings?

There certainly is a lot to handle, and it feels like more 'n more the older I get. Understandably, one can easily get overwhelmed with life's minutia. But, how can we even attempt to tackle it all with grace if we can't keep track of it?

Have you created a system for yourself and your family that works?

If so, please share your tips......

Mind Games

If I don't write this blog post now, I may forget what I wanted to write about.

Just kidding......but really I'm serious. My memory isn't what it used to be, and apparently I'm not alone. In the new course catalog I received this week from the Open Center in NY, one of the classes being offered is called Carved in Sand: When Attention Fails and Memory Fades in Midlife. The description goes on to say, "Anyone older than 40 knows that forgetfulness can be unnerving, frustrating and sometimes terrifying....." It is taught by an investigative journalist who has probed this subject for years and shares what the experts have to say.

Another class in the same catalog is called Brain Gym. Certainly an intriguing title. It's enough that I get myself to the gym for my body (not often enough). Do I have to create an exercise regime for my mind now too?

This is all too much to think about. But, I have found it harder to remember little things. I've always been someone who writes things down, and now I've even taken to emailing notes to myself from my cell phone when I'm out....so it's in my face and on my computer when I get home.

I know I'm 47, which is considered midlife, but am I losing my mind? Since I became a mom, my mind is definitely more cluttered, which doesn't help. So much to do...prepare....plan....and not just for me, but my son, our family, etc.

Guess I just have to accept it and cut myself some slack. As long as I don't forget to tell my son I love him, he won't realize that mommy has momentary memory lapses. And, he'll love me whether or not I forget where he put his Game Boy, favorite baseball cap.....etc.

Do you find it more challenging to remember certain things?