Week 31...Sick and Tired by Liimu

I'm sorry if this post isn't as long as usual. Sorry if I can't go on and on about how sick and tired I am of people being sick and tired.

I had hoped that this last couple of months would be about looking forward to the baby arriving. And truthfully, I am starting to prepare the room (finally) and that is fun. But for the last month, my husband and kids have all been rotating through various forms of sickness. First, a stomach bug that had even me sequestered to the bathroom the better part of two days, then tore through the rest of my family.

Then, we took off for what was supposed to be a relaxing vacation in Arizona. Let's not even talk about the irony of the weather being warmer and sunnier here in Philadelphia than it was in Scottsdale...it snowed, for God's sake. Then, my husband got some weird illness that left him unconscious and out of it for three of the four days we were gone.

Last weekend, my 6-year old woke with a 102-degree fever, which she has yet to shake. It spread to my 4-year old and in the middle of it all my husband apparently contracted a sinus infection.

Ok, I was never thinking that I would be treated like an invalid during this pregnancy, but I had been looking forward to slowing down and resting a bit in preparation for this huge, life-altering event. And by slowing down, I didn't mean going to the doctor's office once or twice a week showcasing some new family ailment.

Anyway, I'm even sick of hearing myself complain about all this, so I'm just going to end with a prayer.

Please, God, heal this family. And please do it soon before I lose what's left of my mind.

Week 26 My Life...by Liimu

If they would just stop arguing…three girls, constant chatter, constant arguing and bickering…but when they get along it’s so much fun to watch. So much fun to hang out with them. I am really glad to be their mom and really looking forward to watching them grow up. And right now, as they are all snuggled in my bed watching Animal Planet, I feel pretty proud and serene.
This morning, I was talking to my sister – a mom of two boys – and began to realize just how unprepared I am for this little man about to join our ranks. I have no idea how to change a little baby boy’s diaper, other than to know that it is going to be very different than changing a girl. I’ve never had anyone pee in my face, for one thing. I also have NO boy clothes, have no boy linens, no boy toys (hold your jokes, please)…heck, we don’t even have any front runners for names right now. (OK, we do…but hubby won’t admit it.)

Part of the interesting challenge of having three children and being pregnant with a fourth is that life is happening at such a rapid pace taking care of them all (not to mention working and taking care of our marriage and ourselves), there’s not a whole lot of time leftover to prepare for the new one.

Along those lines, I thought I might share a week in the life:

Wednesday:

School let out at 11 am due to a sudden power outage. I was in a meeting from 11 to 12, and when I got out of it, there were 8 messages on my cell phone, including four frantic messages from my 8-year old who had managed to borrow a phone from a friend on the schoolbus. Dad, our sitter and I all ran around in circles and converged on the bus at the same time.
After getting a solid couple hours of work in, we take Amelia to CHOP (again) to see the geneticist. Four hours later, after painful bloodwork and a trip to the hospital cafeteria, we are finally on our way home. My night is just beginning, as I have to make up the hours of work I missed due to the early dismissal and late dr’s appointment.

Thursday:

Midwife appointment. I spent 30 minutes waiting, 5 minutes being examined, and 30 minutes deconstructing why I’ve gained so much weight in the past six weeks. Our brilliant conclusion: the 500 calories I was no longer burned at the gym, combined with the 500 extra calories I was eating might have something to do with the 2 pound a week weight gain I was averaging. Someone suggested maybe I needed a weekly dr’s appointment to be required as a cover for getting out on the trail to run. Not sure if it was me or the midwife.

Saturday:

Took Amelia to gymnastics, only to find that she no longer wanted to do it because it was too hard. She can’t do the headstands, the somersaults or really anything at all without assistance. Having all the parents watching didn’t make her any more interested in pushing through the discomfort. My emotions ran the full gamut between frustration at her unwillingness to commit to yet another activity to full-blown tears as I realized that it wasn’t her fault and wasn’t likely to get better anytime soon, given the fact that the geneticist didn’t anticipate having an answer to what may be causing her problems for several months, at best.

Sunday:

Finally went to the gym with all three girls and managed to eke out a 1.5 mile run. First good workout in a long time, and I’m sure my talk with the midwife had something to do with it. In the afternoon, we settle in, bundled up in our warmest scarves and coats, to watch Autumn’s last soccer game. At last!

Monday:

After working all day, I dodge out early to meet the sitter and Amelia for her x-rays, as ordered by the geneticist. Our insurance requires us to go through our local hospital, so after waiting for an hour and a half (outside the room because I’m pregnant and am not allowed in with her), they present me with a CD that I have to figure out how to get to the geneticist. It’s taken much longer than I anticipated, so I have to rush right from there to pick up Autumn and take her to her soccer party, where she receives her first trophy and I eat tomato pie and beg off participating in the parents vs. kids soccer tournament. I frantically e-mail the teachers with whom I have parent/teacher conferences to see if we can reschedule to the following day. Thank God for modern technology.

Tuesday:

I have worked out three days in a row, hurrah! I get up later than I normally would and leave half of the morning routine to hubby, but it’s worth it. I feel like I’m at least doing my part to keep the weight gain in check. I work a few hours then head out to parent conference #1. She’s doing great, hurrah! No time to relish this fact – I come home, work a few more hours then head out to parent conference #2. She’s doing great – talks too much. (Yeah, I know – multiply that by three and welcome to my world.) Back home to work some more and get a head start on this blog.

And is it any wonder I don’t have time to think about preparing for this baby? Thank God it’s not due till March. I promise I will start to think about it after Christmas is over.

Sacrifice - by Robin

I just have share and vent...so please bear with me.

My husband and I went to an open house this week at Seth's school.  It was a preview of the forthcoming after school program being launched in our district next fall.  We are looking forward, and plan to enroll Seth in a number of days.

It's good for him.  The program offers socialization.  They engage them in activities, etc.  And, he'll have a chance, if they enroll, to spend more time with some of his school buddies.

The open house offered parents the opportunity to ask questions.  We came with our share, mostly relating to things like...what activities will be done with the children....will they encourage that homework get done...will they serve snacks, etc.

As we were preparing to leave, I couldn't help but overhear the discussion another mom was having with one of the program facilitators.  And, I was appalled....and found myself saying something under my breath...and then voiced it.  Not sure the mom heard me or paid attention...which I guess is best.  She would not have liked what I had to say.

The mom was discussing with the facilitator what to do with her daughter if she's sick?  Clearly, her hope/intent was that her daughter would attend the before/after school program even if she's not well.  She was complaining how they now have live-in help and want to get rid of them.  But, what to do if her daughter takes ill?  As if this program would be the solution.

What does she think? That this program is an infirmary?

No wonder so many kids pick up illness from others in the classroom.  It's moms like this who send them to school regardless, no doubt, because they need them out of the house.

The program facilitator politely explained that this isn't a full day program, so that she'd still need to find care for her daughter during normal school hours, if she wasn't able to be in class.

The mom looked upset.  And, I thought..what is she?  Delusional?  Or just plain selfish?   I made a quick comment in passing...."Would you have your daughter infect other kids in school?"

Of course that's not her intent, but she wasn't being thoughtful either.

And, I thought to myself....isn't that part of what being a parent is?  Sacrifice.  If you work fulltime and your child takes ill, someone has to stay home with them, and it might need to be you.

And, if you're a SAHM, and your child gets sick, yes, you're already home, but whatever you had on your schedule for that day or week (depending on the nature of the illness) goes out the window.  And, caretaking takes precedence. That's just the way it is.

I know it's not always easy, but isn't that how it should be?!

Should a sick child be roaming the halls of a school?

Do some become parents without understanding the role of caretaker that comes with it?

Or are they just so spoiled by receiving help from others that they don't want to dirty their hands if their child is under the weather?

Some don't have someone to turn to.  Some can't afford nannies.  Some don't have family help.  How do they cope?  They just do.

Ultimately, as moms, we need to rely on ourselves, as it's often the woman who plays the primary caretaker role.

We need to rise to occasion, however inconvenient,  and act respectfully toward other families who keep their children home so their germs don't spread like wildfire.