Week 35...Perspective...by Liimu

So, I guess the theme for this week is perspective. Is the glass half full or half empty? Am I lazy or finally slowing down and resting for the last month of this pregnancy? All I know is I'm finding it harder and harder to find the energy to even get up in the middle of the night the 18 times a night biology forces me to do so, let alone summon the additional energy to don my workout clothes and get a nice workout in before I start my day.

What I do know is that I'm tired, tired, tired. I have been trying to stay positive in these posts, have tried to keep them well-rounded, not just about my fixation on how much weight I've gained or even what pregnancy symptoms I'm currently experiencing. But this week, I just can't help it. It's pretty much all I'm thinking about. How much weight I've gained, how quickly I can get it off, will I have to resort to liposuction to do it, and if so, how much will said liposuction cost? Ok, I haven't really gotten to where I'm thinking about liposuction to get the pregnancy weight off. At least not any time soon. But you get the point.

OK - I started writing that last night and first, I have to say I feel MUCH better this morning. How's that for perspective? That being said, I still feel huge. So, I'm gonna lay it down for you guys.

I cannot WAIT to get back in my groove again. For those of you who didn't know me pre-pregnancy, here's a pic. I LOVE being a girl, and love wearing clothes that show my curves. I'm not looking to be perfect or plastic . For now, I'm looking to get back to where I was. Although, if I'm being honest, I do have to admit that I have looked into the cost of liposuction and even have a library of before and after pics and places that can do the surgery.

I'm not saying that I'm going to do it. I'm not saying I'm not. If I were to do it, it wouldn't be until the kids are older. I know I'm not trying to have to worry about the recovery associated with liposuction post op with three young children and a newborn. But it is out there as an option in my mind if exercise and diet alone don't do it for me. I am a hardcore exercise fiend. I LOVE running and lifting weights and non-pregnant, I do it 5-6 times a week without complaining. I eat healthy without denying myself occasional treats. But let's face it, after four children and with 40 in my rear view mirror, I might need a little extra help to get back to what I looked like (and didn't appreciate) when I was in my twenties before I had kids.

For now, though, I'll be happy to get back to this. Here is a picture of me from last year this time. Boy, what a difference a year makes, huh? Now, PLEASE don't get me wrong. I am SO happy to be having another baby. I'm so thrilled and feel so blessed to be having a healthy boy to add to our family of girls. I almost cannot believe it's happening, and I fully intend to enjoy being a new mother again just as I have enjoyed this pregnancy. I have eaten healthy but enjoyed indulgences. I have worked out, but taken it easy when my body has told me it's time to slow down (like now...I can't even get my butt to the gym anymore). And to be totally honest, this pregnancy has taught me a lot about how to not be in constant diet mode. I think now that there is sometimes as much value in a hot bath as there is for a good workout. It might not burn as many calories, but I believe that I have struggled sometimes with losing the last ten pounds just because of how much I WANTED to do it and how stressed out I was about it. I have learned, during this pregnancy, how to relax without giving up the entire goal.

So, my friends, although this phase of my life - the pregnancy - may be nearing it's close. The story is FAR from over. And I look so forward to sharing the next chapter with you!

Snowy Day...Week 33 by Liimu

I've never been the type of mom that gets all down and dirty playing with her girls. In fact, I'm SO not that mom, my girls know to always give me the role of "the queen who lays in the lounge chair and watches her princesses play." but something about snow brings out the hands-on mom in me.

When we woke up yesterday to full-blown snowfall, I knew we had a situation on our hands. When it took me 35 minutes to make the normally 5-minute drive to my daughter's day care, I knew the situation was serious. When, more than an hour later, I arrived at the elementary school my two older daughters attend to find that NONE of the buses had yet arrived, I knew it was time to take the situation into my own hands. I packed those girls up and brought them right home again.

School didn't dismiss until 2 pm yesterday, but we had a ball. I got a lot of work done, yet somehow, we also managed to make princess cupcakes and play Wii. And today, in addition to reading time, watching American Idol and playing Just Dance 2 for long enough to break a decent sweat (not long, I have to admit), we are just about to finish decorating fairy cupcakes.

Add to that the fact that I have also attended several meetings (virtually, of course), turned in several key deliverables and send enough e-mails to make everyone else in my work sphere feel like they're the ones who are slacking off, and I pretty much feel like I've got it going on. OK, granted, at week 33, I have gained the same amount of weight I gained with my last pregnancy all totaled, but still...I am ROCKIN' this whole balancing act of motherhood and working. At least, for today I am. Tomorrow could be a whole different story.

Week 26 My Life...by Liimu

If they would just stop arguing…three girls, constant chatter, constant arguing and bickering…but when they get along it’s so much fun to watch. So much fun to hang out with them. I am really glad to be their mom and really looking forward to watching them grow up. And right now, as they are all snuggled in my bed watching Animal Planet, I feel pretty proud and serene.
This morning, I was talking to my sister – a mom of two boys – and began to realize just how unprepared I am for this little man about to join our ranks. I have no idea how to change a little baby boy’s diaper, other than to know that it is going to be very different than changing a girl. I’ve never had anyone pee in my face, for one thing. I also have NO boy clothes, have no boy linens, no boy toys (hold your jokes, please)…heck, we don’t even have any front runners for names right now. (OK, we do…but hubby won’t admit it.)

Part of the interesting challenge of having three children and being pregnant with a fourth is that life is happening at such a rapid pace taking care of them all (not to mention working and taking care of our marriage and ourselves), there’s not a whole lot of time leftover to prepare for the new one.

Along those lines, I thought I might share a week in the life:

Wednesday:

School let out at 11 am due to a sudden power outage. I was in a meeting from 11 to 12, and when I got out of it, there were 8 messages on my cell phone, including four frantic messages from my 8-year old who had managed to borrow a phone from a friend on the schoolbus. Dad, our sitter and I all ran around in circles and converged on the bus at the same time.
After getting a solid couple hours of work in, we take Amelia to CHOP (again) to see the geneticist. Four hours later, after painful bloodwork and a trip to the hospital cafeteria, we are finally on our way home. My night is just beginning, as I have to make up the hours of work I missed due to the early dismissal and late dr’s appointment.

Thursday:

Midwife appointment. I spent 30 minutes waiting, 5 minutes being examined, and 30 minutes deconstructing why I’ve gained so much weight in the past six weeks. Our brilliant conclusion: the 500 calories I was no longer burned at the gym, combined with the 500 extra calories I was eating might have something to do with the 2 pound a week weight gain I was averaging. Someone suggested maybe I needed a weekly dr’s appointment to be required as a cover for getting out on the trail to run. Not sure if it was me or the midwife.

Saturday:

Took Amelia to gymnastics, only to find that she no longer wanted to do it because it was too hard. She can’t do the headstands, the somersaults or really anything at all without assistance. Having all the parents watching didn’t make her any more interested in pushing through the discomfort. My emotions ran the full gamut between frustration at her unwillingness to commit to yet another activity to full-blown tears as I realized that it wasn’t her fault and wasn’t likely to get better anytime soon, given the fact that the geneticist didn’t anticipate having an answer to what may be causing her problems for several months, at best.

Sunday:

Finally went to the gym with all three girls and managed to eke out a 1.5 mile run. First good workout in a long time, and I’m sure my talk with the midwife had something to do with it. In the afternoon, we settle in, bundled up in our warmest scarves and coats, to watch Autumn’s last soccer game. At last!

Monday:

After working all day, I dodge out early to meet the sitter and Amelia for her x-rays, as ordered by the geneticist. Our insurance requires us to go through our local hospital, so after waiting for an hour and a half (outside the room because I’m pregnant and am not allowed in with her), they present me with a CD that I have to figure out how to get to the geneticist. It’s taken much longer than I anticipated, so I have to rush right from there to pick up Autumn and take her to her soccer party, where she receives her first trophy and I eat tomato pie and beg off participating in the parents vs. kids soccer tournament. I frantically e-mail the teachers with whom I have parent/teacher conferences to see if we can reschedule to the following day. Thank God for modern technology.

Tuesday:

I have worked out three days in a row, hurrah! I get up later than I normally would and leave half of the morning routine to hubby, but it’s worth it. I feel like I’m at least doing my part to keep the weight gain in check. I work a few hours then head out to parent conference #1. She’s doing great, hurrah! No time to relish this fact – I come home, work a few more hours then head out to parent conference #2. She’s doing great – talks too much. (Yeah, I know – multiply that by three and welcome to my world.) Back home to work some more and get a head start on this blog.

And is it any wonder I don’t have time to think about preparing for this baby? Thank God it’s not due till March. I promise I will start to think about it after Christmas is over.

Week 16...Beauty and Brains - by Liimu

This week, I have a couple different topics forefront in my mind: Beauty and Brains. The first, beauty, is an interesting switch from last week’s discussion of pregnancy weight gain. Although I can’t deny that my weight gain is on the high end of the spectrum, I also can’t deny that this pregnancy is the first time I actually feel like I know what people are talking about when they talk about the pregnancy “glow.”

On Sunday, my sister in law was in town and she wanted to take photos of my children – she’s a photographer in NYC. She got me in a couple shots, make up free and all, and she just kept remarking on how beautiful I looked. I had to admit when I saw the pictures, they weren’t half bad. And often when I accidentally catch a glimpse of my reflection in the mirror as I pass by or as I’m washing my hands in the bathroom, I have to do a double take, because I really like what I see. Pregnancy agrees with me this time around. So, that’s an interesting shift in my perception – that regardless of the number on the scale, I can still look and feel beautiful during pregnancy and hopefully this is something I will carry on into my life well beyond my delivery date.

The second thing I have to talk about is Pregnancy Brain. I have had a lot of experience with the way in which pregnancy causes me to be completely scatter-brained. I can remember putting milk cartons into the kitchen cabinets instead of the refrigerator, and …. well, I’m sure there are other examples but I can’t think of them because I have Pregnancy Brain! Maybe it’s because I have three other children, maybe it’s because I’m working 70 hours a week, maybe it’s just because I’m getting old and there’s a little senility mixed in there with the rest of what’s going on, but this Pregnancy Brain is out of control. As an example, let’s talk about my 4-year old daughter’s birthday party. Granted, there are EIGHT birthdays in September in my family. No, I’m not exaggerating, there are eight: my sister, my two brothers-in-law, my sister-in-law, my two nephews and my two daughters. So, there are a lot of moving parts in September, but I’ve never really had a hard time managing it all before. Well, for my four-year old’s birthday, I decided to do a Little Gym party, which generally is pretty straightforward. You call them up, you make the reservation, they take the deposit, you send them the addresses, they mail the invitations, done.

Well, first of all, somehow they didn’t take the deposit, so I almost lost the reservation. Then, because most of the children I wanted to invite on my daughter’s behalf were in her class at day care, I decided I would take care of the invitations myself. So, I had a little help from my sitter – we put the invitations together, and then after forgetting day after day after day, I finally remembered to put the invitations into their little lockers at school. Then, I realized at 3 am one morning, that I had forgotten to include RSVP information on the invitations. So, I then very cleverly (I thought) made up notes with just the RSVP information. Of course, I didn’t have a guest list so I had to try to conjure up the names from memory. Then, I get a call from the Little Gym reminding me about my party, including the date and the TIME, which turned out to be an HOUR AND A HALF later than what I had included on the invitation. So, I created another “Oops” flier for all the locker (feeling not nearly as clever as I had before), and now could not even slightly pretend that I could remember who had been invited, and who had received the first Oops message. The best I could do was field the e-mails and phone calls that came in, including those from the Little Gym asking if I had my final guest count yet. It has been a mess. Fortunately, Sunday will come and the party will have gone off, one way or another. And people are very tolerant of the way in which the brain functions, or perhaps malfunctions, during pregnancy, due to all the extra attention it’s giving to the little project going on down below.

So, that’s what I have going on this week: Beauty and Brains. Maybe next week will be Brawn, if I can ever get my larger-but-cuter butt back to the gym. You’ll have to stay tuned to find out!

Week 15...On Pregnancy Weight Gain by Liimu

I know, I know, we all get sick and tired of thinking about our weight, complaining about our weight, obsessing about our weight, and during pregnancy is the one time we won’t, don't, shouldn’t have to worry about it, right? WRONG.

My sister Skyped me a couple nights ago to say that someone had told her that the average pregnant woman only needs an extra 200-300 calories a day, and did I know that? Well, when I didn’t Skype her back (I was asleep – it was well past my normal pregnancy bedtime of 8:30), she worried that I got so pissed at her raising the issue of how much I should eat during pregnancy that I’d decided not to ever speak to her again. Seriously. It is that big an issue for many of us.

I’m not going to lie – my pregnancy weight gain stories have been pretty melodramatic, from the pregnancy where I gained 25 pounds by my first 8-week appointment (pregnancy #1 – I gained 90 pounds in all), to the one where I gained a mere 40 pounds (I weighed myself daily and worked out 5 days a week). I have run the full spectrum between not giving a single rat’s patootie to being borderline obsessive compulsive.

Last time I checked, we moms begin worrying the moment we pee on the stick. Is it really two lines? Is the second line too faint to really count? Will I miscarry? Should I have the amnio? Should I tell my boss? Will my husband still find me attractive? Will he mind if I don’t want sex? Will I be a good mom? Do we have enough money saved? Enough stuff for the nursery? Did I pick the right nanny/day care? Should I stay home with my kids? Will they welcome me back into the workforce if I take time off to be a mom? Will my kids resent me if I don’t? And on and on and on…So, do the doctors really have to add this little nugget into the mix, something over which many of us have so little control, especially when more than half of us are puking our guts up and just happy to eat whatever we can keep down and the rest of us are wishing we would puke already because we just spend the entire day feeling like we’re going to and eating is the only thing that seems to take away the nausea?

What I have come to believe is that as mothers, whether seasoned or first-time newbies, we have enough to worry about without adding some arbitrary guidelines about something we may have little control over into the mix.

Let’s take the 200-300 calories guideline, for example. I don’t know about you guys, but when I’m in my normal every day mode, I’m generally pretty diligent about how I’m eating and exercising. That means, I’m dieting. Pretty much all the time. OK, that’s not for everyone, I know. It’s not something I’m proud of, but I’m just being honest. So, what I want to know is, when they say 200-300 extra calories, one would assume that’s on top of the regular maintenance caloric range of 2000 calories a day, not the Liimu-I’ve-been-dieting-since-I-was-9 caloric range of 1500-1600 calories a day. So, that means that by their standards I should be averaging between 2200-2300 calories a day. That’s significantly more than I’m used to, and about where I’ve been landing (at least since we entered the 2nd trimester and I stopped feeling like Sigourney Weaver in alien, except in my case the alien was going to gnaw it’s way through to the outside of my stomach, rather than popping out in a dramatic, scary burst).

And how about the guidelines around weight gain? I just read something today that said I should have gained about 5 pounds by now. Hopefully, they mean give or take 15 pounds. Seriously, though, I read a post on one of the pregnancy boards by a woman who weighed less than 110 pounds pre-pregnancy and when she went to her doctor for her 12-week checkup she had gained 6 pounds. He completely chastised her, saying for her entire pregnancy she should only gain 23 pounds. Where the hell did he get THAT arbitrary number? And honestly, there’s a part of me that feels like there should be a prerequisite for OB/GYNs to make commentary on the weight gain of their patients, unless they’ve been pregnant themselves or have seen their wives through at least three pregnancies. Otherwise, it should be like in the doctor’s office. You can not say anything derogatory or stress-inducing about the pregnant woman’s weight without a qualified nurse in the room, and by qualified, I mean she’s had a baby.

I’ve had three children, and have gained 90 pounds, 40 pounds and 65 pounds with them, in that order. Ironically, my first child just turned 8 years old and is nearly 5 feet tall and wears women’s size 8 shoes. She gets her incredible height from her dad and she’s not the slightest bit overweight. As for my second daughter, the nearly 7-year old with whom I gained the “ideal” amount of weight? A peanut. She’s in the 25th percentile and is barely an inch taller than her not-quite-4 year old sister. Not sure if there’s a correlation there, but I certainly intend to keep my eye on it. If this baby is tall enough to qualify for the NBA by the time he starts high school, I’ll get my answer.

And by the way, when I got pregnant with this child, I was within 5 pounds of my pre-first pregnancy weight, just like my mommy friends who gained 20-25 pounds with their pregnancies. My body knows what to do. It’s proven that time and time again. I’ve never had gestational diabetes, high blood pressure, preeclampsia or any other weight-related issues with my pregnancies and my children are happy and healthy.

Last time I checked, that was really what matters the most.