Friendship of a Lifetime by Robin Gorman Newman

Seth was off Tuesday for Election Day, and we had a playdate here with his best buddy Nathan.  It's been some time since they got together here, since over the summer, we hosted various playdates at our community pool.

His mom dropped him off, and they proceeded to first play upstairs, then gradually made their way to the basement.   There, Seth played Wii, and Nathan perused the spacious closets full of toys and entertained himself.  Things were going swimmingly for some time, until the both of them wound up in my home office proclaiming they were bored.  Seth was armed with his tool kit in hand, asking me what needed fixing in the house.  I wasn't keen on going that route for my little Bob the Builder and his willing assistant, so I had to think fast.

Bored?  How could they truly be bored?  We don't lack for toys and means of entertainment.  Perhaps they were actually in toy overload and couldn't focus?  It was all likely becoming one big blur of legos, megablocks, fire trucks, spy kits, space vehicles, power rangers, rescue heroes, game boys, etc.  You name it.

Recalling that I've learned to keep on hand in the pantry various mixes for cookies, muffins and brownies.....Seth has always loved to help in the kitchen....I quickly proposed we bake.  They jumped on the opportunity, and Duncan Hines chocolate chip cookies won out.  While fun, this took all of 15 minutes (not counting the oven and eating time).  Then what? 

Nathan loves to write (he knows I'm an author), and Seth likes to draw, so I proposed we create books.  Armed with stapler in hand, paper, etc., they sat down at the kitchen table (after licking off the cookie dough spoons), and put pen to paper.  After another 15 minutes, they were ready to move on.

I wasn't sure what to propose at this point....until a moment of inspiration.  The two of them started bantering back 'n forth about how they met.  I was so intrigued by their dynamic, that I whipped out my FLIP video camera (which I adore) and told them we were going to make a movie about the history of their friendship.  They've known each other since they were 4 (they're now 7), and theirs is a charming friendship.  I'd like to share it with you (see below).  And, I'd like to recommend that you consider filming your children interacting with their friends, etc.....and be spontaneous....some of the most precious moments can be captured at the drop of a hat, and I'm grateful to have preserved this time between them.  It doesn't always have to be a birthday or momentous occasion when we break out the video camera.

They both had a blast doing it.  And, it reminded me of my childhood friendship with Audrey, who is still a close friend today.  We both recently celebrated our 50th birthdays,  and we've been good friends since kindergarten.  There's nothing that truly compares to a childhood friend who knew you "then."  While I welcome new, empowering friendships, having a history with someone means a lot.  She knew me when I had childhood dreams.  She knew me when I learned to ride a bike.  She knew me when I felt unpopular in Kindergarten.  She knew my crushes on boys.  She knew my breakouts.  She knew when I first got my period. She knew my mom before she passed away, and I knew hers.  She knew the dynamic of my family as I was growing up.  We went to the same college (had different roomates).  We traveled overseas together.  We socialized as singles (she's still single). It's hard to believe decades have passed.  Lots of memories.  She's like an "aunt" to Seth, and I'm so glad they have that relationship.

As I watched Seth and Nathan, I wondered if their friendship will be one of longevity.  It would certainly be nice for both of them.  And, it would be cool to see how they mature and grow into the men they are meant to be.  Time goes fast, and they may not follow in each other's footsteps.  But, I'll always have the FLIP video of the day the two of them talked about how they came to be friends.  And, hopefully in years to come, they'll look back on it as well....smile....and be grateful they still have each other, as I do my special childhood friend.

http://sharing.theflip.com/session/e4abdfd33c45b36384aa19060d523fff/video/25799301 -- click link to watch video

There Goes the Bride by Cara Potapshyn Meyers

 This past Sunday was my Brother-in-Law’s wedding - my husband’s brother. I was invited, but chose not to go for many obvious reasons. My only wish was that I hadn’t been very ill because it gave my husband the perfect excuse as to why I wasn’t there. My husband is an awful liar. You could tell when he fibs a mile away. So, unfortunately he would be correct in telling family and friends why I didn’t attend the wedding. Bummer. I would have at least have enjoyed knowing how uncomfortable he would have been having to produce a reason why his “wife” wasn’t at his brother’s wedding. Oh well...there will be other occasions.

My Sister-in-Law (wife of my husband’s OTHER brother) will be having her second child in April. I am pretty sure that I will be quietly absent from that milestone event as well. He’ll have to come up with some type of story for that occasion, I’m sure.

And then there are all the Holidays in between. I assume my son will be spending all of the Jewish religious ones at my in laws. I’ll get my son and take him to visit very close friends for Christmas and Easter. But what to do about Thanksgiving? I’ve made the largest turkey I could find, to feed 20 plus people for just about every Thanksgiving for 15 years now. I guess those days are over.

My husband and I will have to trade off on Thanksgiving. Since my son went to the wedding, perhaps my husband will allow me to take my son to my best friend’s house for Thanksgiving this year. It will be very festive as my best friend’s birthday is very close to the Thanksgiving Holiday, so she celebrates her birthday then as well.

It is hard when you are breaking away from your spouse while having to go through the Holidays, especially with a child. The child is used to everyone being together and having a wonderful time. Now the child gets tossed between one family and another. It’s confusing and painful...for everyone involved.

Being an only child, with now both parent’s deceased, and no close relatives who live nearby, I grew up spending many, many Holidays with my best friend and her family. I recently asked her if it would be okay to resume that historical pattern. She was delighted. A little overwhelmed, but delighted. I kind of get the “warm fuzzies” just thinking about all of the wonderful times in the past that we’ve spent together during the Holidays. Like her Dad serving us spiked Eggnog when we were only 16! We couldn’t understand why the Eggnog tasted so good, nor why we were so giddy hanging ornaments on her tree! It brings back such warm and loving feelings!

My son is the same age as my best friend’s son, who is adopted. My friend chose to become a single Mom right before she turned 40. I wanted to have my first child before I turned 40. The stars aligned in the heavens for both of us! We both have boys and they are only 3 months apart in age! And both boys think they are “cousins!” In a way, they really are. They see each other far more frequently than my son’s actual cousins.

So maybe this can work, this Holiday swapping thing? As I’ve experienced, families don’t have to be related to be close and have fun! I think I’ve had more enjoyable and exciting Holidays spent with close friends than with relatives who critique your cooking!

I guess another chapter of my life is unfolding. Just like going down the tall Mayan water slide at the Atlantis Resort with my son, last month. I am ready to experience another incredible ride. The ride through the Holiday maze! I better hold on tight for this one, too!