Mommy Rants - By Cara Potapshyn Meyers

Every Mom needs to rant and vent from time to time. Now that it is the unofficial middle of summer, with our “balmy” 100+ degree weather, it is the perfect time to get some “pet peeves” off my chest! And since the air quality alert is so high, it is recommended that everyone stay indoors. The time is ripe for my annual “Mommy Rants” blog! So, since it is so dang hot, I think I will first start with the “balmy” weather rant...

“Balmy Weather”

For close to the past two weeks, the temperatures here in NYC and surrounding suburbs has been either close to, at, or over 100 degrees. So hot, that watering my grass and potted plants for two hours in the early morning and two hours in the early evening still has left them shriveled! So hot that they are keeping the kids at my son’s day camp indoors half the day to watch movies. The early and late parts of the day, they are spending extra time in the pool. They did go to a Water Theme Park one of the days. I can’t help but think though; Why am I spending hundreds of dollars for my child to go to a pool that I could take him to and watch DVDs, which he could do at home? My rational is that he is with his friends all day, plus I get some peace and quiet. That, alone, seems like a pretty decent reason to me. I can also get so much more done when my son is out of the house. Okay, so now that this rant is somewhat rationalized, let’s move on to my favorite rant...

Day Camp

It is only halfway through camp and so far my son and the camp has “misplaced” (ie. lost) several items. The first of the “misplaced” items is two...not one, but two lunch totes!! One has my son’s name embroidered across the front in bright red!! How in the world do you loose two lunch totes in less than two weeks!? Knowing my son, the answer is entirely apparent. But don’t the counselors keep a small eye on some of this stuff?? My son also lost one shoe (yes, only one), a ratty towel (I hadn’t even noticed...the counselor brought it to my attention. At least they keep an eye on ratty towels), and a sport water bottle. Now here’s the best one: The camp also lost my son’s Epi Pen!! A medically indicated device that the ADULTS are supposed to be in charge of!! This completely boggles my mind! Since we are at our insurance limit for Epi Pens until the end of August, it would cost $150 to replace it! The camp told us they would replace it if they couldn’t locate the original. But this is absurd! Also highly negligent! And what have we accumulated in return? About 15 camp shirts! Enough so that I can throw out the small ones at the end of the season and still have more than a week’s worth for next year. If we send my son next year. I’m losing faith in a camp that loses a life-saving medical device! Oy! On to my next peeve...

RSVPing to Birthday Parties

My son’s birthday party is this coming Saturday. I sent out invitations about a month ago. As of the RSVP date, I received exactly 5 responses out of 21 invites sent. I am highly understanding of families that were away for one or two weeks and missed the RSVP date. I understand that this heat is getting to us all and we are all a little lightheaded. But I now have to track down, make calls, leave messages, and find phone numbers of the families whom have yet to RSVP! All this while finishing the final touches for my son’s party!! I even put both our phone number as well as my e-mail address on the invites, to make it even easier to RSVP!! I think I rant about this every year, and every year I think it gets worse. Along with not receiving even a handmade thank you card for a gift you went out of your way to get a party child. As Ms. Manners would say, “Tsk, tsk...”

Last, but not at all least...

Laundry, Laundry and Yet...More Laundry

I know I moaned about this several blogs ago. It seems that no matter how many bathing suits, SPF shirts, ratty towels, shorts, camp shirts and socks I stock up on, I still find that I need to do laundry every other day, for one reason or another. This time, the culprits are my son’s karate outfits. My son has karate after camp three days a week (nice, tired kid!). He only has two karate outfits because he only was able to take two classes a week when school was in session. Now he takes three. I asked to purchase a third outfit, but the karate school is out of my son’s size and is waiting until mid-August to place a large order for the Fall classes. My son is drenched when he finishes his karate classes. These clothes cry out to be laundered! So, after my son’s Tuesday and Wednesday classes, I do a load of laundry to make sure that he has a clean outfit for his Friday class. It is a good thing that they have a home delivery service called Soap.com. In this weather, I hardly feel like shopping for and shlepping home hoards of laundry supplies! I make a purchase online, get free shipping if I meet a quota, and in less than 2 days, I have laundry supplies on my front porch! Now how cool is that?! (Shout out to Soap.com!!)

Well, that is all the ranting I can stand to give at the moment, although I’m sure there is more!

Please feel free to leave a comment and let us know what your favorite Mommy Rant is! I’d love to read them all! Let’s compare rants!

Side Note: Today marks the official, second anniversary of my blogging for MotherhoodLater.com! I hope you have enjoyed my blogs just as much as I enjoy writing them! For those of you who are curious about what I wrote for my very first blog, I am adding a link directly to it. I must admit, it was probably one of the most creative blogs I’ve written to date!

Enjoy!

I’m so Verklempt! - By Cara Potapshyn Meyers

Definition: Verklempt - a Yiddish expression of being overcome with emotion.

Living in the outskirts of New York City, and in a predominantly Jewish neighborhood, I hear this Yiddish expression quite often. I believe it was even used in a Seinfeld episode once to explain Elaine’s overwhelmed state of mind! I, too, am verklempt! There really is no better word to use to explain this complex feeling. A mixture of anxiety, feeling overwhelmed, maxed out of your energy, bordering almost at feeling unable to cope. That’s Verklempt!

A couple weeks ago, I wrote about the upcoming changes summer would bring. Particularly the ending of school and beginning of day camp for my son. Well, I dug out and through the pool bags. Tossed the old sunscreens, bug sprays, etc., restocked with fresh supplies. Dragged out the old, ratty towels and wrote my son’s name on them with black, permanent laundry marker. I found his camp shirts from previous years and was thrilled that the small ones just fit! I even bought these great stick on clothing labels to put into every item my son needs to take to camp. Here I was, thinking I was way ahead of the game until today, the first day of camp. Now I am verklempt with emotion thinking of all that still needs to be done! Starting with a fresh load of laundry!

My son came home with a soggy backpack filled with his wet towel and soaking wet bathing suits. Uh oh...forgot to send in plastic bags to put the wet items in. Oh well, no harm done. I’m sure the backpack will dry out by tomorrow morning. Then, as I was tossing my son’s wet bathing suit and SPF shirt into the washing machine, I realized that although I have enough bathing suits to get my son through a full week, I do not have enough SPF shirts!! I bought the only ones my son will wear (due to his sensory disorder) at a greatly reduced price, at the end of the season last year, but only purchased a few. I need at least 10. And at the peak of the season, this brand of SPF shirts are outrageous in price. They are seamless...they have no seams at all. It is the seams that bother my son to the point where he will just rip the shirt off and not bother to apply sunscreen on his exposed skin. So do I risk my husband’s wrath and shell out the money to buy shirts I know my son will wear? Or do I buy less expensive shirts, have them worn once and then tossed aside, only to be given away to someone else? Oy, I’m so verklempt!

Then we come to socks. Again, with my son’s sensory issues, he will only wear socks from one particular store. I have gone to 3 of these stores and looked on their internet site, only to find out that they are completely sold out of every color except black in my son’s size. My son has to wear a blue shirt to camp every day...couldn’t they have at least had blue? No blue at all. Only black. So I bought several pairs of black hoping others would think they were very dark blue. Oy vey.

Our next issue is my son’s upcoming birthday party in about a month. I still have to address and send out the invitations. I bought some of the party supplies. But the biggest issue is regarding one friend my son wants to invite. My son adores this friend. My husband loathes this kid due to some past indiscretions. My son has been begging my husband to invite this friend. My husband is literally threatening me with legal action if I invite this kid. Aghhhhh!!! Verklempt, verklempt, verklempt!!! Where is Calgon when you need it to take you away??

And, of course, why don’t we top it off with my son’s “birthday wish list.” I must admit, my son has very good taste. However, every item on my son’s list costs at least $50!! I tried to gently explain to my son that most people cannot afford to spend that amount of money on a birthday gift. It’s not sinking in. My creative son has come up with 100 different ways that guests can chip in and buy my son what he wants. I tried to explain that you can’t “tell” guests how to go about giving you the gifts you want. Guests make their own choices and you just have to hope to get what you want...or at least close to it. My son is just not “getting” it. He is “hyperfocused” (see last week’s blog for definition) on what he wants and only what he wants!!!! I’m so verklempt!!!

Since none of these things is a major catastrophe, only a miscellany of inconvenience, I think a dose of perceptiveness is really all I need. I mostly went through my son’s closet and replaced the heavy clothes for the lighter ones. I’m packing up my son’s second grade work and boxing it up to look through in the future. The one thing I haven’t quiet gotten to fully is my own closet. The cashmeres are still mixed among the sleeveless cotton shirts. But I did identify many items to give away. I also purchased some new summer clothing that will actually fit, so progress is being made.

I think I just need to sit down to a nice, cold iced coffee and bagel with just a shmear of cream cheese. That oughta do the trick!

Time for Transitioning - By Cara Potapshyn Meyers

 It’s almost the end of the school year. Summer will officially be here in a week. It is time to get ready for “transitioning.”

To me, “transitioning” means making changes, both good and also a little burdensome. One thing I adore about summer is the longer days. Casual weekends. Less structure. Freedom to just “be.”

It also means a break from the stress of my son’s school and after school schedule. A break from the stress of homework and finding non-threatening ways to encourage getting the homework done. A break from the frantic race to get my son to school on time. A break from the seemingly unending “mundane.”

But with sending our son to day camp come some additional “burdens.” Instead of daily homework will be almost daily laundry. Lots of stain remover. Remembering to pack certain camp items on certain days. Sunscreen, ad nauseum. Bug spray and anti-itch remedies that actually work. And no after camp activities. Perhaps a dunk in our local pool, instead, which certainly is not a burden, especially on wickedly hot days!

I’m not sure I’m quite ready for this transitioning. I AM ready for my son to finish Second Grade. I gladly welcome the break from the insane homework. But I think I need a little vacation between school ending and day camp starting the very next week. The forms that need to be filled out. Medical forms as well. Making sure that I have at least 10 bathing suits because my son needs to take 2 to camp each day. I am desperately hoping that my son will still fit into some of the camp shirts we “accumulated” last year. Otherwise, the one camp shirt they provide for the campers needs to be washed e v e r y   s i n g l e  
 d a y.

I also need to transition the trunk of my car. Every summer I restock my first aid kit. I make sure I have plenty of water resistant bags to collect impromptu wet clothing from swimming excursions or water fights at a friend’s house. It also means going through the bag of clothes I keep in my trunk and take out the fall/winter/outgrown clothes and replace them with some summer items, including shoes, crocs and a rain jacket. And towels. You never know when you need extra towels.

Speaking of towels, I have surrendered sending my son to camp with expensive, colorful, monogrammed beach towels. For three years in a row now, I have had these nice towels “taken” from my son, never to be seen again. With my son’s full name monogrammed on them! In BOLD block letters! Two inches in height!! This year the nice beach towels go to the beach or the pool. Instead, my son is going to camp with old, ratty, light color towels with his name boldly printed on each side with a black laundry marker. If anyone wants them, they can have them. They were almost ready to become rags anyway.

Summer also means having to go through my and my son’s summer clothing to see what still fits and what can be given away. It also means filling our closets with the summer wear and putting our bulkier clothing into drawers or other closets. Same with shoes and coats. Right now I have in my closet cashmere sweaters mixed in with sleeveless tops. What’s wrong with this picture? I also buy clothing for my son “off season.” There’s only one problem. I often forget that I bought him certain items at greatly reduced prices, shove them in the “to grow into” drawer, and pull out 3 of the same item come next season. Which is not an entirely a waste because the “doubles” can be used for the car bags come the end of summer.

Finally, there are the “pool bags.” Expired sunscreens and insect repellants need to be tossed and replenished. Goggles and sunglasses for my son need to be checked to make sure they still fit. Various sundries need to be gone through and updated. Even the pool bags need to be inspected for overuse. I almost feel like I have to remember to replenish diaper bags after an outing!

All this transitioning for 10 weeks of summer.

But ain’t it grand?!

The Dos and Don’ts of Day Camp - by Cara

As a veteran of two different Day Camps my son attended over the past two years, I would like to pass along some important information for those parents whose young children will be attending Day Camp for the first time. Here are some of my tips and hints:

1. If your child needs to wear a Camp Shirt with the camp’s logo on it, beg, borrow, buy or be lucky, like me, and accumulate shirts whose parents forgot to put the name inside. I was given one shirt initially, and by the end of the season accumulated six in larger sizes! That one shirt that they provide will otherwise have to be washed daily. Trust me on that one.

2. Speaking of clothing, label, label, label every item of your children’s clothes! Unless you don’t care if it never returns! I have had other children’s underwear and socks come home that I never saw before. Label those too! Even label shoes! My son came home barefoot once because he lost his shoes and couldn’t find them. EVERYTHING has to get labeled!

3. Now as for labeling. One other important item to label are towels. In fact, even if those are labeled, they may never return. I went online this past winter, found beach towels on sale that could be monogrammed and had five of them embroidered with the boldest color they would allow! If you have a supply of old towels that you don’t care never come home, that’s fine too. But I became tired of trying to track down missing towels or sending in other towels that I knew would be lost. And as an aside, some camps have the children use the towels to sit on during the day. Which means laundering towels every day as well. That’s why I now have five. And if your child goes to a camp that requires more than one towel per day, accumulate more!

4. Next is swim attire. Some camps have swim/sprinkler activities twice a day. This, of course, would entail sending in two swim suits per day. Again, stock up on swimsuits that are on sale. I have no less than 10-15 at any given time. And some camps require enclosed swim shoes while others don’t. Always buy an extra pair.

5. Now comes lunch. My son’s camp provides lunch selections, both cold and hot, for an additional cost. Packing a lunch is more economical. But beware of sending foods that have containers that are difficult to maneuver or may leak. I had to throw out a perfectly good lunch tote because my son didn’t eat all of the watermelon I packed for him, forgot to seal up the container, and the tote had to be thrown out because it smelled and was soaked from rotting watermelon. Good thing I have, again, monogrammed, extra lunch totes. And, once again, label, label, label, every container, sandwich bag, bottle of juice or water, snack bag or beverage container. We lost two expensive and environmentally friendly Jr. Sigg
bottles because the “permanent ink” came off while washing them. Make sure everything has your child’s name on it!! And STAYS on it!!

6. Sunscreen is a must. But even if applied at home, your child will need to reapply it while at camp. Even with a label, it will get lost or forgotten somewhere. Label all sunscreens and buy multiples when they are on sale. You will be going through quite a few.

7. Always check the camp schedule for upcoming events. I forgot to send in a clean, white shirt for tie-dye day...twice! And missed red and blue day completely. These things may not matter to you, but when you pick up your child from camp with a sullen look on their face, you’ll know right then and there, you messed up. We hang our schedule on a special kitchen cabinet so that we absolutely can’t miss it. Try to find a suitable place for yours.

8. Finally, as imperative as all of this must sound, try to just go with the flow of camp mishaps and oddities. There will be many. I learned through experience, and so will you. I simply wanted those who have yet to be “initiated” into the camp experience to know what might be waiting for them when they open their child’s backpack. Oh, and one last thing. Use the grungy backpack your child hauled to school every day from this past school year. By the end of camp, your child will be ready for a brand new one to start out the brand new school year!

Hope some of these tips may have helped! Happy camping with your little Day Campers!

Full Circle - by Robin

We booked a cruise to the Mediterranean for late July, and I'm totally psyched.  I had been making myself nuts trying to figure out how best to create a memorable birthday this summer, and I stumbled on a cruise that caught my eye.

After further investigation, other cruises were brought to my attention, and my husband became interested as well.  Before we knew it, we signed on.

I didn't expect to want to sail.  Our previous cruise experience was not entirely positive, but it wasn't an American ship, and that, I'm told, can make a big difference.

I'm both psyched and a bit overwhelmed at the notion of being gone over two weeks.  I'm already stressing about the email overload I'll experience if we don't buy me a Blackberry that works in Europe. And, even so, I don't want to become an email junkie while we're away.

In anticipation of our voyage, I started digging around the basement, pouring through old tour books and came across notes and business cards I had made and collected on previous trips to Europe.  I was amazed at how I had recorded things in such detail, and the information would prove helpful in the planning of this vacation.

I was also a bit taken aback when I noted that I hadn't been out of the country in over 10 years.  I guess it shouldn't have been such a shock since Seth is 7, and we've only traveled domestically since he was born.  But, somehow reading the travel journals I had kept and looking at the photos, made me feel that it was another lifetime ago.

Who was that girl?  I wasn't yet a mother. I was married. ...but our life was still our own.

Marc and I had traveled with my dad.  My mom passed away 11 years ago, and my dad had never left the country and had wanted to.  We didn't want him to have any regrets in his life, so we suggested he vacation with us.  We went twice to Europe with him.  First on a Costa Cruise...and the second on a land package.  We had a good time both trips.  My dad and husband get along well, though my dad can sometimes be painstakingly slow when it comes to make simple decisions, like picking ripe bananas at a Paris supermarket. And, buying yogurt thinking it was cottage cheese, and not really knowing the difference when he ate it.  We were able to laugh at the circumstances, and it provided some comic relief on a busy trip.  My dad is a good sport.

I'm so glad we went when we did, as my dad, at 91, has had chronic health challenges for the last 5 years, and overseas travel would not be viable for him at this time.  Goes to show that you shouldn't put off what you really want to do.  Often we know this, but don't seize the moment as we should, if we're able.

As the memories from those previous trips starting pouring in, it hit me that my travels were now coming full circle.  My dad isn't coming with us, but my son is.  Seth has never left the country before, never mind being on a cruise.  What a treat it will be to see foreign sights through his eye.  I'm not entirely sure which ports exactly will interest him, if any.  I do think that Venice and Rome will be cool for him. They are two of my personal favorites.

And, the ship, the Ruby Princess (Princess Cruise Lines), has a kids camp, so Seth doesn't even have to venture off the boat.  I told him there is a pool onboard, and how awesome (his word) it would be to swim on a ship.  And, to sleep on a ship.  I hope there will be other children his age and that he'll have a blast.

This is sure to be a lifetime experience for all of us.  And, I'll look forward to telling my dad and others all about it upon our return.  I don't want to rush the days away until we leave.  Seth still has to complete first grade...we're coming down the homestretch.  And, he'll be in day camp a month before we leave.  But, just knowing that this is coming up gets me very excited.  We did purchase travel insurance, just in case, but G-d willing, we'll be good to go.  And, Seth will get the very first stamp in his brand new passport, and I'm pleased that we are able to offer him this experience, and hope that he and all of us will remember it for many years to come.

The Day Camp Dilemma -- by Cara Meyers

One would think, especially a Mom, that day camp for their grade school age child would be easy street on roller blades. First off, your child is out of the home for at least an amount of time equivalent to a full day of school, if not more. Secondly, the day camp experience certainly will wear your child out, what with swimming, sports-type games and general play activities. Then how come some Moms come to dread the end of the day from camp?

Could it be that the damp backpack must first be unloaded, even though you provided your child with ample gallon-size plastic bags and plastic grocery bags to but their wet things in? The bags are usually at the bottom of said wet backpack with ignored sunscreen.

Then there is the precious camp t-shirt. That ONE t-shirt. That must be clean. And dry. Each day of camp. Which means, of course, one of two things: If the t-shirt does not have any visible stains, you can always get away with trying to just hang it up, hoping it dries sufficiently by morning. Or, as is in my case, because I have a boy, and boys are, um, dirty, you must wash the t-shirt each evening. And why wash just one t-shirt when you can throw in the bathing suits, towel, and other miscellaneous laundry lying around that happen to be the same color. So now we are doing laundry at least 5 nights a week.

Next there is the preparation of getting the following day’s camp wear assembled for the next day. Does the following day start with swimming, which would require having your child wear his swim wear to camp while packing dry shorts and the camp t-shirt to change into later on? Or will there be sports activities, necessitating the wearing of shorts and camp t-shirt, while the packing of swim wear for the afternoon instead. And don’t ever forget to pack the water shoes! A mother always knows to have at least two pair, so that while one dries out, the other can be packed for the following day. The same usually goes with sneakers. If one pair gets wet, you have the spare set.

So, obviously, paying attention to the daily camp schedule is of utmost importance. As are the daily activities themselves. Is it “Tie-dye Day?” Then a clean, previously washed white t-shirt will need to be packed. Is it pizza day? Then your child will need to bring in $7. And what if all you have in your wallet are $10s and $20s? Will you be able to get change back? Will you have to send in a $5 you found in your husband’s back pocket and some quarters?

And if it is not pizza day, there is the dreaded packing of a cold lunch that must withstand the heat of a summer day. One counselor suggested freezing a bottle of water to keep the contents of the lunch tote cold. Well, that idea turned my son’s lunch into a complete soggy mess, even with every item sealed in plastic bags. The water also didn’t defrost fast enough, so my son got a couple sips from the bottle and left it in the tote to melt the rest of the day. I had to pour out the contents of the tote over the sink. It was flooded.

So why is it that we Moms look forward to summer and the day camp experience for our children? The only reasonable reason I seem to have been able to come up with?
No homework.


Next Week: My husband has decided to take the Day Camp Dilemma challenge and see whether he can do a better job at preparing my son for Day Camp each day. The results will be the topic of next week’s blog.

Pool Life Lessons - by Robin Gorman Newman

I'm so proud of Seth.

He passed the deep water swim test at camp this week, and it meant so much to him and all of us. We're going to go out for a celebratory dinner tonight. He didn't pass the first time, and I so admire his persistence and desire to make it happen. I don't think he ever doubted that eventually he would get there. He has the right attitude, and I hope he can ultimately apply it in all areas of his life.

We've been spending a lot of time at our local pool, in addition to him swimming at his day camp, and he's made huge progress. It's amazing to watch his development. From one day to the next, things he wouldn't do last week, he's now doing without fear, projecting total confidence. It's an inspiration.

I am learning to do laps myself this summer. Working on my breathing now, which has been a challenge. But, I know I'll get there.

Yesterday in the pool, I was speaking with a veteran swimmer who comes religiously the same time each day to swim for at least half an hour. I watch him with awe and aspire to follow in his swim strokes one day. We don't usually talk because he swims as if on a mission. But this time, we chatted a bit as he came up for air, and we got on the subject of kids and how it's ideal to learn to do certain things when you're young. Granted, not that I'm old at 48, but as he pointed out, the older you are, the more you might be riddled with fear. And, he's right. I don't have a comfort level in the deep water, though I'm working on it. And, I don't envision ever jumping off a diving board....though I never say never.

But, it's not just about swimming.

It's amazing how kids fully embrace most new experiences, and as adults, we might sometimes hem 'n haw over them, wondering how they fit into our expectations of what we think the experience will be like. And, if you're like me, it's so easy to over think a situation. And, nothing will instill more fear in you than what you conjure up before even embarking on the experience. You could love it and be totally surprised. If you had asked me a few years ago if I'd ever put my face in the water, I would have answered with a resounding "no."

I don't expect to learn to ski at this point in my life. Nor, do I have the desire.

I don't plan to jump out of a plane.

But, I do still yearn for new experiences. It's never too late to learn.

Perhaps snorkeling?

Taking an acting class?

Hmmm...what else?

What do you think about learning or trying something new at this point in your life?

One of my single love coaching clients told me this week that she might sign up for a tarot card reading class in the fall.

That sounds intriguing.

The possibilities for learning are endless.

Another mom I know is studying the Torah.

New experiences help keep life fresh.

I'm wondering what's next on my learning agenda.

How about you?