Just Me and My Guy - By Cara Potapshyn Meyers

A beautiful ocean breeze is blowing by me while my son is making the "world's largest sandcastle" with a little boy he befriended. We have had impeccable weather since we have been here; Five days so far. Under ordinary circumstances, this would be sublime.

My son and I are at a ridiculously overpriced beachfront hotel, with suboptimal service (I am the Hotel Snob, you know). Our house has been without power, food, and hot water for almost a week now, since Hurricane Irene passed by. My son couldn't take the pitch black nights with no air conditioning or fans and no refrigerated food. I made a call to a beachfront resort that I had tried to make reservations with a month ago. At that time they were booked solid. I called the day after the hurricane passed and wouldn't you know it! I had my choice of any room I wanted because so many guests had cancelled! I planned to stay for just a few days since I predicted we would have power back within that time. No such luck. I extended our stay throughout the Labor Day weekend.

This unplanned excursion, although bordering on necessary, has really been a treat for both my son and me. Neither of us had been to the beach all summer. My son adores the beach and wallows in the sand. I know I can take him anywhere and he will make friends...even a beach chair, if necessary! His BFF and mine came to visit us one of the days we were here. That day went too quickly for us. Since then, my son has befriended a boy who is here with his Mom and siblings because they lost power also. The boys have been practically inseparable.

My only frustration has been the fact that some cell towers around here have been inactive, due to the storm. My only means of communication has been through texting. I'm not sure if I like embracing my limited means of communication or not. On the one hand, I have to use my computer sparingly. Getting and receiving cell phone calls is practically impossible. If the wind blows the right way, I can post on FaceBook or upload a photo of my son on the beach. All in all, though, I'm getting used to the spotty connections and limitations to the outside world.

The best part of this trip has been the bonding I have had with my son. We are "together" 24/7. He is off with his friend while on the beach, but we are together at all other times. We lie in bed, exhausted at the end of the day. He watches some TV while I read or type this blog. We order in room service because I arranged to get meal vouchers. All I have to pay for is the delivery fee. Basically, we do what we want, when we want, with no set schedule at all. It's perfect!

We also play on the beach together. When my son's friend has somewhere else to go, we fly our kite, dig in the sand, and walk on the beach collecting treasures. I get cold easily, so I stay at the water's edge and take photos of my son as he navigates the wild post-hurricane current with his boogie board! We even became friendly with a very nice lifeguard who took my son out into the ocean to help him learn to swim in ocean water. I have complete confidence when my son is in a pool or still water. But ocean water is always unpredictable. I want him to feel the unpredictability and learn how to navigate through it. He is strong and sure of himself. I have no reason to believe he won't be able to be completely comfortable and respectful of the ocean. He wants to learn to surf one day. One needs to be totally at ease but mindful to take on a sport such as that.  

This week has been an unexpected joy! My blogs, however, seem to depict an oxymoron! Last week I was swooning over my extended "alone time." Now I am swooning over time spent together with my son. I guess this shows me that there really is no balance to parenting if you have one but not the other. I also believe that because we are just doing our own thing, without any set schedules, it makes this time together even more enjoyable. I am almost disappointed for us both that school begins in a few days. We'll be back to "routine." Everyone needs routine in their lives to some extent. Some more than others. But I am loving this simple time with just my son. His sweet endearments towards me. My unbridled love for him. Just the two of us. Just me and my guy. 

These Dreams Part Two .. by Liimu

Last week, I told you how I didn't make the cut in the recent auditions for the Voice, and how I drew upon that experience to comfort my 8-year old daughter when she found out she would not be participating in A-level champs for swim team.

I'm a huge proponent of the Law of Attraction and teach my children to tell only the story they want to be telling and to be careful to cast only positive words into their Universe. For instance, if my daughter is worried about doing well in her swim meet, I encourage her to say how well she wants to do, not that she's afraid of failing or being disqualified.

So, when we were at B champs watching her swim and she took off like a rocket off the block, landing in the water a good ten feet in front of the next competitor, we screamed with glee to see her manifesting the dream she'd been talking about all week - coming in first. We jumped up and down and cheered her on as she stayed ahead of all the other girls all the way to the wall. You can imagine how confused I was, then, when she emerged from the water wet not just from swimming but from the tears that streamed down her face.

"What's wrong?" I asked my daughter, concerned and bewildered by her tears that were very obviously not tears of joy.

"I think I touched the bottom - I think I DQ'ed." I hugged her and then took her face in my hands.

"Before you worry about that, look at me. YOU SWAM GREAT. You did what you said you were going to do. You came in first! You swam strong the whole way and no matter what happens, you swam GREAT." I led her over to the coaches to see what the rules were. A very sweet man - a dad of one of the swimmers on the opposing team - gently touched my daughter's elbow.

"It's ok if you touched the bottom. It's not disqualifying for this event, I don't think." There wasn't 100% conviction in his voice, but I appreciated the idea and him sharing it with my daughter. She seemed to calm considerably and certainly enough to ask her coaches what they thought the outcome was going to be.

"Well, I didn't see the judge raise her hand on the event so either it's not a disqualifying event, or they didn't see it happen. Either way, let's hope for the best and we'll find out soon enough."

I urged my daughter to remove "DQ" from her vocabulary until the official results were in. The next day, I couldn't wait to open the e-mail that arrived with the official results. I pulled the document up on my iPhone and scrolled down, visualizing seeing her name in the number one position. Sure enough, there it was - a full two seconds faster than any of the other girls in the league. We went out that night to celebrate what was a huge accomplishment for so many reasons, not the least of which being that she had manifested the reality of her dreams both through visualizing it and through months of hard work.

I guess I should have been more surprised when I received a call saying that she'd also be competing in A champs, after all. She'd be the fourth swimmer in the relay event. I wasn't surprised, though, because I had seen how she could manifest her own desires. She had done it effortlessly at 8. Who knows what it will look like by the time she's my age. I'm thrilled to stand by and see.

I continue to be amazed at how well the Law of Attraction works. I hope to be able to continue to model for my children how to apply it in my life so they can live out their deepests dreams.

Dreams come true - so I pose this question to you...what are your dreams, and what are you doing to make them come true today?

These Dreams ... by Liimu

Last week, I told you guys how excited I was to audition for the Voice on NBC. What an experience that was. On my way up to NJ, I heard Alicia Keys ballad version of “New York State of Mind” and got chills –this was really my time. I was going to be the one to make it! I got to Jersey City about 7 pm the night before and picked up my friend, Gabbi, who would be hosting me for the night. We went by the stadium to see if people were already lined up. They were, but for the Rihanna concert rather than the auditions. The security guy said we couldn’t line up for auditions before 3:30 the next morning. I was thrilled that I wouldn’t have to get in line at midnight.

Before turning in for the night, I sang my audition song for my friend and she said I’d never sounded better. I slept only a couple hours, I was so excited that my dreams were finally going to come true.

My friend and I met at the stadium at 4 am and were told that we couldn’t line up for the auditions until 5. We parked in a nearby hotel parking lot and I applied my makeup and redid my braids (it was going to be 102 degrees later that day so I wasn’t taking any chances with curls). As it turned out, we were near the front of the line so we were in the stadium by 7:30 am. The guy in front of me in line asked me if I had ever auditioned for anything before and I told him no, I hadn’t. “But hey, it only takes one time,” I said with confidence, truly believing that this was the only time I would ever have to stand on line to audition.

When we got inside the stadium, I had to go to the bathroom, but everything moved pretty quickly. We stood in corrals waiting for our registration bracelets and were told that we would be auditioning in groups of ten. I remembered to put my high heels on while we stood in line and danced to Maroon 5’s “Moves Like Jagger” along with a friendly child psychiatrist in a wheelchair in the line next to me who had driven down from New England and was auditioning for the first time.

When we were finally shuttled up to our audition room, I could feel the adrenaline begin to rush through my veins. The assistant producer was counting to ten to determine who would be in the first group and thanks to the fact that the girl in front of me was a minor and her mom wouldn’t be counted, I was lucky number ten. Because I was the last to be welcomed into the audition room, I was the first to audition.

The assistant producer asked me my name and age. When I told her I was 41, she said I didn’t look it. “Great,” I said. “Then can we say I’m 26?” Polite laughter. I sang my song as I had practiced it, and the room erupted in applause when I finished. “Nice,” she said. “Do you have anything else?” I told her I could sing a faster song, either old school or new school. At this, she turned to face the room. “We want contemporary songs. We want to be able to picture you as an artist performing a song that would be on the radio today, so don’t just pick a song that allows you to sing the big notes. Pick a song that shows who you are as an artist.” So why, reader, did I then choose to sing “Forget You,” by Cee-Lo? Any of you who have checked out my reverbnation page (www.reverbnation.com/liimu) know that I am nothing like Cee-Lo. The reason I sang it is that every other current song I know jumped right out of my head at that moment. Of course, driving home I remembered I could have sung “The Climb” by Miley Cyrus or “Jesus Take the Wheel” by Carrie Underwood or “Because of You” by Kelly Clarkson. But in that moment, I didn’t know any contemporary songs at all.

Still, I have to admit that I was stunned silent with surprise when we got to the end of the auditions and she said, “Thanks to all of you for coming, we’re not going to ask any of you to come back. Hope to see you for Season 3.”

I was devastated. I called my friend Kelly, who is an absolute guru with regard to employing the law of attraction to manifest the reality of your dreams. She had called me the night before to say she had goosebumps and that meant I was going to get it. When she heard I had been rejected, she was truly shocked, she said. I told her I was feeling like giving singing up for good, and I was mad that it’s so deeply in my blood that I knew I’d never be able to do that. It’s like someone who has come to such a low point in their life that they want to kill themselves, but they have been raised to truly believe it’s a sin and so they know they must go on.

She said it was good for me to honor my feelings and be sad, but that she wanted me to work on getting back to positivity and hope in the coming days. That she wanted me to google how many people got famous after 40 (not many, I’ve since come to learn). She said she believed in me. I started to feel better, and hopeful again. Then I got a text from my husband, saying he was genuinely surprised, and even more surprised by how disappointed he also was. Considering the fact that passing the auditions was going to mean many weeks away from home for me and many weeks managing all four kids for him, this was a big deal. He said, “Next year, Max will be better able to travel, anyway.” It was decided. I would audition again. I still cried for about 20 minutes before hitting the road to make my way home.

When I got home and told my children, they cried nearly as hard as I had. This was a family dream, not just mine. We were all convinced it was going to come true. None of us is ready to give up on it. I just have some work to do between now and next year, and I am prepared to do it. I will take voice lessons, I will lose the rest of the baby weight, I will have more songs prepared, I will have a better handle on our finances. This dream is far from over.

When I was helping my sister manifest the job of her dreams, she interviewed for what she thought was her dream job about a year into the process. When she didn’t get it, she was devastated. She pressed on, and I reminded her daily that if her plan was not being realized it’s because an even better one was in the works. How could God’s plan be worse than ours? Sure enough, 6 months later, she landed an even better job that continues to challenge and amaze her. For the first time in her life, she can imagine staying in this job for the rest of her life. If she’d given up on her dreams and taken a safe job at that point, she would have turned off the path right before she happened upon the oasis she’d been promised. I have enough experience with the Law of Attraction and manifesting my desires to know that the only way I can fail is if I give up on my dreams. I’ve come too far to give up now.

A couple days ago, my 8 year old daughter found out she did not make elite championships in swimming. She swam hard and well this season, coming in at the front of the pack in all her events. She was sure she would be in A champs this year. Finding out she was at the top of the pack in B champs gave her little consolation. What did console her was when I reminded her of my experience with the Voice audition, and that in the same way, I had worked hard and was surprised and devastated to find that all my hard work wasn’t quite enough. “Honor your disappointment,” I told her. “You have every right to be sad. For a period. Then it’s time to start focusing on what you have to do between now and next year to be in A champs next year.” She smiled. She had seen me go through that disappointment and come out the other side optimistic and determined. Plus, she always likes to think that she’s just like me. I feel honored to think that she thinks that highly of me. Truthfully, I feel the same way about her.

And we are just alike. We’ve got dreams and we are determined to make them come true.
In the past, I have gone after my dreams half-heartedly and then when they didn’t come true, I would blame it on the fact that I didn’t give it my all. It’s really painful and sad when I give it my all and they still don’t immediately come to fruition, but I hold on to my belief that if I continue to believe and continue to pursue my dreams with passion and heart, the will one day come to pass. And that’s not just my dream, that’s the family dream.

To hear my audition song, click here. Please leave a comment and subscribe to my YouTube channel!

Over Scheduled...Mom? - By Cara Potapshyn Meyers

We’ve all heard stories and read articles about children being over scheduled with all types of after school activities. And there have been a scattering of articles about parents whom are burdened by their children’s schedules. Lately, I have found myself falling into that trap, even though I always promised myself that I would never over schedule my child. It would be an unnecessary burden on my son as well as myself. Until now.

My son has been going to religious school since Kindergarten (he is now in second grade) and really enjoys going. There are more than a handful of students from his elementary school that he knows in this class. And at this point, it is rather low-pressure religious learning. So, we take him to that after school activity once a week.

Then, because my son has Auditory Processing Disorder, which compromises his reading and writing abilities, we have a tutor come one day after school. My son spends 45 minutes with the Tutor and gets weekly assignments to complete.

Following that is Karate, which my son LOVES and happens to be quite good at. In fact the Karate school advanced him to a more vigorous program, requiring him to go to class a MINIMUM of one weekday as well as once on the weekend! Incidentally, all of the professionals, from his ADD specialist all the way down to his Primary Care Physician, feel that if my son enjoys Karate, it is a perfect sport for him to excel at with regard to his ADD.

Finally, there is swimming. Another sport my son LOVES. Thankfully, this class happens to be on Sundays. My son was meant to be in water. He thrives in water. To the point of doing forward, aerial flips off of the diving board! And again, as Michael Phipps will tell you, swimming was his way of managing his own ADHD. Maybe it is my son’s, as well.

So here I am, with all of these important, but certainly not necessary (except for tutoring) activities my son is involved in. And we haven’t even discussed how play dates fit in with all of this! Is my son over scheduled? Am I over scheduled? I certainly know that at this moment in time I am, given that I have an antibiotic resistant germ in me that is wearing me quite thin. Going on 4 weeks now. But what about my son?

Most parenting experts will tell you that the most extracurricular activities a grade school child needs is 1 or 2 activities a week. In my experience, my son needs daily physical exercise of at least an hour a day or  else he will be literally climbing the walls. So perhaps all of these extracurricular activities are good for him.

My husband and I have worked out a schedule, which more or less divides which parent takes my son to certain activities on specific days. But then you have to add homework into the mix. My son can barely manage the load of second grade work during his second week of school. I contacted my son’s teacher regarding the issue of homework. I also plan to make an appointment with the school Psychologist. Other than that, I am at a loss as to what to do.

If my son's schedule cannot be modified, I think I am going to ask my son’s teacher whether my son can do some of the homework over the weekends. It would ease the burden on everyone and allow my son the ability to participate in the extracurricular activities that are good for him, while extending his homework load across 7 days rather than 5.

As for me? I’ll still be over scheduled. But I will either enlist help to manage either dropping my son off at certain activities or miss them entirely if I feel his schedule is getting out of hand. I guess you’ll just have to continue to call me, the “Over scheduled Mom.” Stay tuned.

Lap Lessons - by Robin

I accomplished a goal this week...or "sort-of."

For those who follow my blog, I've written about my on-going mission to swim across my local pool this summer doing the freestyle stroke. I just learned to swim (I could previously only do the breast stroke and backstroke), and I never thought it would happen.

Up until last summer, I had no desire to ever put my head in the water. In fact, I dreaded it. The chlorine turned me off, and I just didn't have any interest. Swimming was not high on my to do list.

Things changed. As I watched swimmer after swimmer do laps...no matter their age....a lightbulb went off. I had to do it. I decided I wanted to one day be one of the seniors in the pool (G-d willing) doing laps. It struck me that swimming knows no age. Once you master it, it's yours, and what great exercise.


So, I bought my first pair of goggles. Hated them....got another pair that worked better for me. Tried a swim cap.....still don't love that....but now I at least tie my hair back.

I could only put my face in the water with a nose plug, which I really didn't like. With the help of a friend of one of the local lifeguards, he convinced me to try dropping the nose plug, and now I no longer need it.


So, this summer I tackled the pool determined to learn to swim...and I did! And, I'm told I have a nice stroke, that is feeling more 'n more natural to me. I'm in love.


The water clears my head and gets my heart pumping. I feel my arms working, and my back stretching, and it feels great.

Now I'm working on breathing. I'm getting there....but still have not mastered it.

As the summer nears the end....I've been a bit dismayed. I'm not confident that I'll be able to get the breathing down, therefore, I was making peace with the fact that I would not likely meet my goal of getting across the pool.


That changed yesterday. The head lifeguard at the pool, who has been so supportive and encouraging and helpful, suggested that I focus on just getting across, even if it means floating or swimming on my back a bit and then continuing the freestyle...but at least not stopping completely in the pool as I'd been doing at the 5 feet mark.


I tried that yesterday, but it felt somewhat awkward.


Today I got the idea that I could start out swimming freestyle and then switch to the breast stroke if need be (so I can breathe), and then go back to the freestyle.


Well...it worked! I did it! While I'm still not entirely comfortable in the deep water, I persevered. What an adrenaline rush!

And, it taught me a huge life lesson that I want to share with you.


No matter what your goal in life....if you can't get there exactly as you planned when you hoped for...perhaps there's another way to get there....even if it means shifting your goal a bit. And, if you can make strides that way, and you remain on your path, you will likely get what you ultimately aspire to do. Even if it take a bit longer, so what?! There's a lot to be said for the day-to-day achievement and to pat yourself on the back for how far you have come.


I'm a swimmer now....and who ever thought I'd call myself that?!


And, I can race my son in the pool and be an example to him of how it's never too late to learn something. Why says you can't teach an old dog (or later mom) new tricks?!


So....what's on your list that feels unattainable?! Go for it!! (and your kids will love you for it.)

The Day Camp Dilemma -- by Cara Meyers

One would think, especially a Mom, that day camp for their grade school age child would be easy street on roller blades. First off, your child is out of the home for at least an amount of time equivalent to a full day of school, if not more. Secondly, the day camp experience certainly will wear your child out, what with swimming, sports-type games and general play activities. Then how come some Moms come to dread the end of the day from camp?

Could it be that the damp backpack must first be unloaded, even though you provided your child with ample gallon-size plastic bags and plastic grocery bags to but their wet things in? The bags are usually at the bottom of said wet backpack with ignored sunscreen.

Then there is the precious camp t-shirt. That ONE t-shirt. That must be clean. And dry. Each day of camp. Which means, of course, one of two things: If the t-shirt does not have any visible stains, you can always get away with trying to just hang it up, hoping it dries sufficiently by morning. Or, as is in my case, because I have a boy, and boys are, um, dirty, you must wash the t-shirt each evening. And why wash just one t-shirt when you can throw in the bathing suits, towel, and other miscellaneous laundry lying around that happen to be the same color. So now we are doing laundry at least 5 nights a week.

Next there is the preparation of getting the following day’s camp wear assembled for the next day. Does the following day start with swimming, which would require having your child wear his swim wear to camp while packing dry shorts and the camp t-shirt to change into later on? Or will there be sports activities, necessitating the wearing of shorts and camp t-shirt, while the packing of swim wear for the afternoon instead. And don’t ever forget to pack the water shoes! A mother always knows to have at least two pair, so that while one dries out, the other can be packed for the following day. The same usually goes with sneakers. If one pair gets wet, you have the spare set.

So, obviously, paying attention to the daily camp schedule is of utmost importance. As are the daily activities themselves. Is it “Tie-dye Day?” Then a clean, previously washed white t-shirt will need to be packed. Is it pizza day? Then your child will need to bring in $7. And what if all you have in your wallet are $10s and $20s? Will you be able to get change back? Will you have to send in a $5 you found in your husband’s back pocket and some quarters?

And if it is not pizza day, there is the dreaded packing of a cold lunch that must withstand the heat of a summer day. One counselor suggested freezing a bottle of water to keep the contents of the lunch tote cold. Well, that idea turned my son’s lunch into a complete soggy mess, even with every item sealed in plastic bags. The water also didn’t defrost fast enough, so my son got a couple sips from the bottle and left it in the tote to melt the rest of the day. I had to pour out the contents of the tote over the sink. It was flooded.

So why is it that we Moms look forward to summer and the day camp experience for our children? The only reasonable reason I seem to have been able to come up with?
No homework.


Next Week: My husband has decided to take the Day Camp Dilemma challenge and see whether he can do a better job at preparing my son for Day Camp each day. The results will be the topic of next week’s blog.

Challenging Myself

I am on the path to adventure and self discovery....at least for the moment.....and hopefully longer. And, who would have thought that motherhood later in life would bring it out in me.

Being the mom to a busy four year old boy has always kept me on my 40 something toes, but these days, I feel like those toes are reaching higher.

Seth has been off from camp, and school hasn't started yet, so all last week, Seth & I became pool rats (we have one in our community). Not only did we have a blast, but I took on a personal challenge.

After days of eyeing the deep end of the pool, I took the plunge. I swam where I could no longer stand. I realize for some that this is no great feat, but for someone who isn't a confident swimmer (except on my back), this was an accomplishment. I applauded my effort and am now contemplating taking swimming lessons to actually be able to do laps doing the crawl stroke.

Yesterday, we spent the day with friends at Splish Splash in Riverhead, NY. Most of the time we watched Seth and his friend play in the kiddie area. As the day went on, we decided to all take one of the raft rides. It's something I never would have done on my own, but the spirit (and my friends) moved me. While I screamed throughout, it resonated like shouts of accomplishment.

My friend and I were chatting about it afterwards and the whole notion of adventure. We were commenting how as our boys get older, they will want to do more things, and this may spur us to become increasingly bolder ourself. We want to be able to rise to the occasion, and share the fun with our kids, which means pushing our comfort levels. This is not a bad thing. And, I can see how people get an adrenaline rush when you step out of your comfort zone. My friend, Fran, who has a teenage son, lives a life dedicated to adventure, and she has quite an impressive number of experiences under her belt. While I'm not looking to swim with dolphins, as she has done, there must be other things I could try.

I'm now asking around to see what others aspire to do.

How about you? Do you challenge yourself, and what is on your to do list to further your personal growth?