A New Day is Dawning... by Liimu

Be careful what you wish for...you just might get it.

I have been an avid believer in the Law of Attraction since I read The Secret, by Rhonda Byrne (along with half of the world) back in 2008. I'm not sure what it did for anyone else, but it definitely changed my life on many levels.

First of all, I found myself on stage singing a solo backed up by a choir hand-picked by Patti Labelle (with Patti herself directing) live on NBC for 10 million viewers. (If you don't believe me, click here.) I couldn't really believe it myself at the time, which I guess you figured out if you watched the whole clip. It was a surreal moment, and the lyrics to the song - "I'm letting go...give me one more chance...cause I can't do this on my own..." were not lost on me.

Soon after the Patti Labelle experience, I ventured into starting my own business. I quit my six-figure day job to start my own consulting company, relying on my networking skills alone to get clients and keep them. I doubled my income the first year. I have had slumps here and there, but I have always made more than I made when I worked a traditional job and I never looked back. Similar to when I was in the process of auditioning for Clash of the Choirs, I refused to entertain even an inkling of doubt about whether or not I would be successful.

Flash forward to now. After having my baby, I have been wracked with doubts about whether or not I could lose the baby weight and if so, how fast. I have been obsessively counting calories, enduring punishing workouts (including the half-marathon I ran the Sunday before Thanksgiving, despite knee pain beginning at mile 2), talking about it so much I bore myself and my kids keep trying to reassure me by telling me I'm skinny, and even getting snarky at the weight loss success my friends have been having while I have circled around the same five pound marks for months.

That's not me. That's not what I know to be the Law of Attraction and how it works. Well, actually, I guess it is. The same way for years my beliefs about my inability to be a singer if I wasn't 19 years old and a size 0 kept me singing in my car and the occasional wedding band until I employed the Law of Attraction to realize my dreams of singing on a large scale. The same way I spent a good chunk of my day complaining about my job, thereby securing my spot, only to find that once I put that same energy into what I really wanted to do - work for myself - that it would be successful beyond even my own imaginings.

And so why would I think that doing things that keep me far from my sense of joy - things like talking about how "hard" it is to lose weight, depriving myself of all the foods I love, pushing through brutal workouts even when I'm exhausted or hormonal - would get me closer to the body of my dreams and achieving my weight loss goals? Newsflash - it won't. In my experience, the Law of Attraction is LAW. So, if I believe that it's going to be hard - guess what? It's going to be hard.

I know some people will think this is mumbo jumbo, hocus pocus, crunchy granola BS (like my trainer, for one). I don't really much care. I know what's real and true in my life and I know for a FACT the Law of Attraction is a law of the Universe and I am filled with joyous intent to employ it in my favor from here on out. And guess what? I'm really enjoying myself, while I'm at it.

Today was full of laughing and singing and snuggling my kids. I haven't been to the gym since Monday. Won't get there tomorrow, either, because I have the chance to spend time with a friend from Australia who is only here until Friday. We will go for a walk, though, so at least I'll get the body moving. I am loving taking deep breaths before I eat anything so I can get in better touch with what my body wants. I've been reading books about intuitive eating and resonate so strongly with Geneen Roth, author of Women, Food and God, who said, "But once the belief and the subsequent decisions are questioned, diets and being uncomfortable in your body lose their seductive allure. Only kindness makes sense. Anything else is excruciating. You are not a mistake. You are not a problem to be solved." (To read more, click here.)

That was an aha moment for me. So, when my trainer asked me today how I was doing, I told him the truth. I said I was eating healthy, not exercising as intensely as he'd probably like me to but that I am no longer in a go-hard-or-go-home headspace, more of a be-gentle-be-healthy headspace. His response? "That's crap. You haven't been pushed hard enough by me. You're about to go off the cliff. Let's talk." I understand his concern. There have been many times I've used the idea of intuitive eating as an excuse to gorge myself only to come crawling back to him, tail between my legs. That's not what's happening now, and I told him so. I still believe he is one of the best trainers on the planet. He could get me there, if anyone could. I'm just not really in the mood to go. Does that mean I don't want a smaller body? Does that mean I'm opting to be this size the rest of my life? No, no more than it would mean that I didn't love the beach just because I decided to plan a mountain vacation instead. I'm opting to accept and love myself. Or, as one friend of mine put it - we can't beat ourselves into submission when what we really need to do is love and accept ourselves into surrender.

I surrender.

Follow Your Bliss...by Liimu

I’m excited. I’m really, really excited. Friday I go to audition for the Voice on NBC. Now some people may think I’m completely crazy to do this. I have four kids aged 8 and under, the youngest of which is a four-month old. I have my own business and I’m the primary breadwinner. I’m 41 years old. I’m probably about 40 pounds overweight. I also have an absolute passion for singing. And anyone who has ever known me knows that it’s something that’s just in my blood.

I was talking to my sister weeks ago when I was debating whether I should audition for the Voice, keeping in mind that it would probably involve waiting in line with the other masses of people who believe they were born to sing. Of course, she suggested I try to get an appointment to audition the way I did when I auditioned for Clash of the Choirs. We all know how that turned out (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3qTJkfFlz9M). During that audition process, my fears of not having the perfect situation in my life were offset by the fact that I was able to slide in at 4:30 or 5 pm, sing my song and still make it home in time to have dinner ready for my family when they got home. That’s not the case this time. This time, when I asked if I could get a special appointment time, I was told if it wasn’t convenient for me to wait in line at the appointed time, they’d be more than happy to accept an online video submission. Something in my heart told me that wasn’t going to cut it.

So on that day with my sister, I told her about my dilemma – how I wasn’t sure if I should go and audition. She asked me to tell her what it was that made me not want to do it. I said, “Fear. Fear that I have too many kids, fear that I’m too old, fear that I won’t be able to continue earning enough to support my family, fear that it’s a ridiculous crapshoot to think that I can find that needle in the haystack.” She reminded me that I always profess to live by the philosophy that decisions shouldn’t be made motivated solely by fear nor by money and that I should continue to live by that philosophy.

Then she asked me why I would want to go to the audition. I said, “That week in 2007, when I was doing Clash of the Choirs in New York, the days were long and arduous. We woke at 5 am and were going all day long from 6 am till 10 or 11 at night. Shuttled from choreography to blocking to wardrobe to vocal rehearsals, to on-camera interviews, we were pushed to the limits every minute of the day. It was hard to be away from my family and the tension and anxiety about performing each day was almost unbearable. That being said, I loved every minute of it. In fact, it was the closest I have ever come to experiencing bliss in my entire life.” She said, “Well, when you put it like that, the answer is clear. You need to follow your bliss.”

So that’s what I’m doing this week – I’m following my bliss. And I can’t wait to come back here next week to tell you that I’ve been chosen to fly to LA to audition on television in front of the blind judges. Until then, I challenge you all to step out of your comfort zone, put your fears aside and follow your bliss.

34 Weeks...and so then what? by Liimu

Yeah, that's right, I said it. I am now officially at the point where I can say that this baby is coming "next month," the nursery is officially ready, my eldest daughter has moved herself into the baby room, I've had flowers delivered to my hospital room in advance (so I don't have to rely on anyone else to do it), my baby shower is scheduled...and so guess what?

I'm already on to the next thing. I'm a hot mess in this way, but hey - that's who I am. Always thinking about the next thing. That's why alcohol and I could never be friends. Because I'd be drinking whatever drink, not fully able to ever enjoy it, so focused was I on where I'd get the next one from. Just keeping it real, folks.

So, I am coming to the end of this HUGE, life-altering, completely unexpected and totally fulfilling project, creating this new person to join our family. I have loved nearly every minute of it, too. (Not the stepping on the scale part, but pretty much everything else. Oh, and that was definitely balanced out by finally getting the clear skin I've coveted for 15 years.) And now that I'm coming to the end of that project, and now that my consulting business - the bread and butter business for me - I'm able to start thinking about my other love project that came before this little guy came on the scene - my music. For those of you who don't know, I've been singing for many years, my claim to fame was having a lead solo in Patti Labelle's choir on the 2007 series, Clash of the Choirs. Since then, I've been working with one of Patti's producers to get back into songwriting and performing my own songs, and am working on an EP and full-length album with a band full of some of the best musicians in the country, including my very own husband.

I know my husband thought maybe the dream had ended before it began. I tried to tell him it was just a matter of time before we got things back on track. And now, now that the end is nigh, and this baby will be here before we know it, now I can start to rekindle my musical fire. So, I'm back on Facebook and Myspace, writing again, even poking around about where we can play next. Now, if I can just figure out how to get that pre-baby body back! How I wish I had appreciated it while I had it!