I've Fallen and I WILL Get Up (Week 9)...by Liimu

PMS hit me hard this month. I swear, I turned into a whole new person. I was so tired, I was counting the minutes to bedtime before I'd even finished breakfast. Literally. I was craving salted chocolate balls. I found myself getting weepy as I watched my kids do their homework. Worst of all, I had no idea I was suffering from PMS. It all seemed like I was just entering a new, horrific, emotionally charged phase of life and so I decided to just go with it.

When I finally realized what was happening, the damage had been done. I had already woken the sugar monster, and so I now find myself struggling to get the nasty critter to go back to sleep already. (The bowl of cereal with raisins I just ate to sustain my writing of this blog did not help matters any.) I have a wonderful, miraculous angel of a friend who is helping me to learn how to work with the Law of Attraction, seeking only joyous eating and exercising experiences. I'm still not sure how to distinguish between joy and comfort, but I am working on it.

I went to the gym today and literally looked around as if I had just hopped off the bus at Port Authority after never setting foot out of Podunk, Iowa. You'd think I had never seen a treadmill, let alone spent 6 days a week at the gym for the past 15 years. I'm not sure what's happening to me, but I know it's good. Change is always good. I've always been passionate about getting in my best shape and now is no different. It just seems to be taking shape in a different way than what I'm used to, pun intended.

As a huge fan and advocate of the Law of Attraction, I get and read daily messages from Abraham sent by Esther and Jerry Hicks, co-authors of the wonderful book, "Money and the Law of Attraction." This one I got a couple days ago and it really resonated with me:

"Don't try to recreate peak experiences. Instead, just accept them as the gift that they are, and don't beat up on yourself for not being able to stay there. Because if you stayed there, they wouldn't be peak experiences. They would be normal, every day in time hum drum boring, experiences. So, savor the peak experiences and compliment yourself upon your achieving of them, and expect more of them, and leave everything else out of the equation."

I've been trying to recreate the past experiences I've had of losing weight successfully, and I'm clear now on the fact that however it's going to happen this time, it's going to be completely different from times in the past. It's going to be joyful, gentle, and awe-inspiring. I will continue to share it with you!

BodyFit Update: Still wearing the BodyFIT band, though I don't have many steps to proclaim this week. I was interested to see that I got more exercise than I thought I had on my days "off." This weekend is the big 1/2 marathon for which I've been faithfully training all these many weeks. I look forward to wearing my arm band and logging all my steps. For more information on the BodyFIT armband, click here.

Week 8 Update: Fit or Fabulous? by Liimu

Week 8 update: I am down a total of 10.5 pounds since I started and definitely can start to see a difference. I’m still on track to reach my goal of being fabulous by Max’s first birthday on March 14, 2012.

Speaking of fabulous, I did a google search today and looked up “how to be fabulous.” How sad is that? With four kids (one of them a not-quite-eight-month old), a thriving consulting business, a budding singing/songwriting career and a very public quest to regain my pre-pregnancy figure, I am feeling quite a loss for where I would find the extra time to get that put-together look I see in women all around me and on TV. How does J Lo end up the Most Beautiful Woman in the World, when she’s the same age as me and has toddler TWINS? Ok, right, right, right. I know what you’re all thinking. She’s in the business to look good – it’s her job. AND she has an entire staff helping her. But still. I’m not trying to look all Gucci’d out every minute of the day. But I would like to find a way to get a workout in and a full day’s work and still have time for a shower, make up and a quick hair styling that doesn’t involve a scrunchie.

All that being said, it hasn’t escaped me how ironic it is that Kim Kardashian – known for her drop-dead gorgeous looks and sex appeal – was dying to get married for years and then wasn’t even able to make it through one entire season of the year before she filed for divorce. J Lo is on divorce number 3. Halle Berry is still gorgeous and always looks perfectly put together, whether on the red carpet or at the playground with her equally gorgeous baby and yet she is allegedly getting ready for marriage number three? Four?

I’m not trying to be catty. I completely feel for this women and how frustrating and lonely it must be to not be able to forge and maintain a partnership that’s satisfying and fulfilling. It must be hard to do that when you’re constantly in the public eye, constantly on the go for a demanding career, and feeling the pressure to get as much done as you can while you still have the beauty and youth that seem to be at the top of the list of requirements for women in Hollywood. I made a choice when I was younger to put my dreams of becoming a famous actress and pop star to the side because I was headed down a very dark and destructive path, a tragic fate that would be all but sealed if I pursued a career in entertainment. Instead, I took a safer, corporate track, but could never completely let me dreams go. I became a wedding singer and met my husband. We began having kids immediately, and I kept singing and performing all the while, even getting the chance at one point to perform a solo with Patti Labelle on NBC television in front of 10 million viewers. I still pursue music to this day, as I said, writing and performing original music at local venues all year round and I hope one day to have the success I longed for so long ago. I do it now as much to show my kids how important it is to pursue your dreams as for myself.

I’m not glamorous and fabulous right now. It will probably take me 12 months to get back to a size I’m comfortable with, where it takes most actresses and pop stars less than 12 weeks. I’m overwhelmed most days and with a staff of just me, my husband and our mother’s helper, I’m happy just to get to 9 pm having clothed, bathed, and fed all my kids, helped them with homework, worked a full day, worked out, showered, and eaten healthy myself. If I’m able to also say that I rehearsed for a gig, volunteered for the junior choir, coached a friend, or gotten my nails done, that’s a bonus. If I’ve put on makeup and done my hair, that’s a freakin’ miracle.

Any advice you guys can give for how to look fabulous every day in ten minutes or less, please let me know! And if you know of a cheap personal stylist who can help me get my closet full of clothes that fit, flatter and help me in my quest for fabulousness, even better.

BodyFIT update: I finally downloaded the BodyFIT iPhone app and am now consistently tracking my nutrition data too, so I can clearly see the daily deficit calories burned vs. calories eaten. That is game-changing and definitely the reason I lost another 3 pounds this week.

Post-Partum Transformation - Week 7 by Liimu

This week I came up against the first day in what I call the Diet Disaster Trifecta (DDT), which includes Halloween, Thanksgiving, and Christmas. As someone who has been known to gain 10 pounds in a four-day holiday weekend, I do not take the DDT lightly and decided to go into this year with a solid plan. The plan was this: each day in the DDT is exactly that: one day. I plan to allow myself an indulgence on each of those days, but unlike other years, I will not allow them to straggle into the days that follow ending up with a holiday binge that lasts a week or more and completely obliterates all my post-partum weight loss efforts of the past several months. I have memories of years past where I developed a nightly habit of going to the freezer one (or several) times a night for one (or several) frozen miniatures. Or following Thanksgiving eating lunches AND dinners that were a repeat of our Thanksgiving spread for days on end, including the dessert! Not this year.

I’m happy to say that with one of the trifecta holidays behind me, it seems to be working. I enjoyed an indulgence in Halloween candy on Halloween night, but I had eaten healthy the rest of the day and there was very little impact to my overall efforts – I’m still losing at a rate of about a pound to a pound and a half a week. Slow but steady progress, and I’ll take it!

It also helps that I’m training for a half marathon. I ran a marathon six years ago and have had an ongoing tradition since then of running the Broad Street 10-mile run every spring and a half marathon every Fall, with the exception of the two times I’ve been pregnant during the past six years. The ridiculous amount of running I do to prepare for these events definitely helps offset these holidays. I ran 9 miles last Sunday and will be running 10 miles this coming Sunday (hence, the 20K+ steps I’ve been logging on my BodyFIT armband).

That brings me to my BodyFIT update: I’m still enjoying tracking my exercise and sleep on the BodyFIT armband. I did have to take it off for my gig this past Tuesday night (I’m in an original band – feel free to follow me on Twitter or on Facebook. It definitely motivates me to workout more. I love going into my long runs with my armband on, knowing the vigorous activity I log for the day is going to be off the charts. When I was recently interrupted during a workout by an unexpected meeting, knowing I wouldn’t hit my exercise goals for the day helped motivate me to get back to the gym later in the day. If you haven’t gotten your BodyFIT armband yet, check it out at the BodyMedia website. It would make a great Christmas present to anyone on your list, even you!

Week 6: Distance Running and Weight Loss by Liimu

First, let me apologize for getting your hopes up if you ended up at my blog after googling "distance running and weight loss." Truth is, my experience has been that distance running alone does not lead to weight loss. It leads to increased hunger and a false sense of security, which if I'm not careful, results in weight gain rather than loss.My connection between distance running and weight loss has more to do with how similar the journeys are. I was running 8 miles this past Sunday, admiring the beautiful trail, adorned with trees of the many colors of the changing leaves, the sounds of the Wissahickon as it babbled alongside me as I ran. I had a momentary tug to try to run faster, get a better overall time, which I quickly dismissed.

I have learned over the years of distance running that if I run a pace that's too fast for me I will quickly get discouraged and either need to stop or at best, feel like I'm struggling through the entire run. If I get the pace right, I feel like I could run forever. And at the end of the run, I have the same sense of satisfaction from having completed the run. Moreover, I often find that my pace is almost exactly the same as it would have been if I'd pushed it harder.

I realized as I jogged along that my weight loss journey is very much the same. If I go at too fast a pace (3-4 pounds a week), I have an unrealistic expectation that I should be able to maintain that pace and then when I can't I get discouraged and stop. The whole point is to finish the journey - to get to my goal weight - and I'll get there faster overall if I just pick a reasonable pace that I can sustain and just keep going no matter what. Pick it up when I hit a downhill slope (maybe when I'm feeling high energy and there are no holidays or birthday parties to deal with) and hunker down and really focus when I'm facing an uphill climb (like this next couple of months).

Anyway, it's really helping me to feel good about my 1-2 pound a week weight loss. In fact, the more reasonable the pace of my weight loss, the more encouraged I become because I know it means I'm doing things in a healthy way that's sustainable for the long haul. I know that I will get there if I just keep putting one foot in front of the other.

BodyFIT update: One thing that was really neat this week about BodyFIT is that I was totally dragging one day and my BodyFIT told me I had only gotten 6 hrs of sleep! I thought I had gotten more, so it definitely explained my dragginess.

In other BodyFIT news I'm still setting new personal records - my new overall calorie loss record is 3,854 calories in one day and my new overall sleeping record (same day) is 8 hrs 42 min. Oh, and I logged over 22,000 steps!!! How about that?? I'm struggling a little bit with wearing it all the time, but I sure am loving the motivation of tracking how much I'm burning on a regular basis and how well I'm doing from a calorie deficit perspective. You can get your own BodyFIT armband at www.bodymedia.com.

Week 5, Trust the Process by Liimu

So, this was an interesting week. Last Thursday, I snuck a peek at the scale and was PISSED to see that I was up from where I was the previous week. I started to chalk it up to a visit from Aunt Flow, but then realized that her visit was more than a week off yet. Dammit. Must just be that yet again, this whole process isn’t working. Why isn’t it working??

Now, in the past what I have done is say f*** it and hit the cupboards for anything salty or chocolate-y I can find. Well, I am happy to report that this week I took a very different approach and decided to at least eliminate the human error component of what might not be working about my plan. I tightened up my food even more and hit the gym even harder. I went through the whole weekend taking special care to watch my sodium intake and up my water to 5 liters from four, just in case I was somehow holding onto water thanks to the occasional pretzel knot I’d been enjoying along with my kids.

My weight didn’t drop much – I was still up .8 by my official weigh in day, but what did surprise me was that good old Aunt Flow showed her ugly face five days early! It was PMS, after all! Good thing I didn’t throw in the towel. In fact, if I look back on the past six months, that pattern is exactly why I still have 40 pounds of baby weight to lose. I would have an expectation of what I wanted the scale to do (an occurrence over which I have absolutely no control) and then when that expectation wasn’t met, I would get frustrated, lose faith in the process and sabotage all my efforts. There’s a saying in recovery that “an expectation is a resentment waiting to happen.”
So, just for this week, I have had a small triumph in that I pushed through the discomfort and frustration and stayed the course. I hope to have a victory as a reward for my efforts when I step on the scale next week. Either way, at least I have learned that when my body is acting like something strange is happening (like a hormonal shift due to the onset of my period), it probably is.

BodyMedia FIT update: I’m still enjoying the BodyMedia FIT band a lot. I wish it were thinner, as I feel a little self-conscious wearing it all the time, but fortunately I can leave it off if I need to (like when I have a meeting to attend) and then manually enter any exercise information, if necessary. They’ve recently released a new product called the BodyMedia CORE, which is a lot thinner. Lucky you all who get to purchase that one! It’s really my only complaint right now, and given the fact that I’m used to wearing my iPhone on my arm while running to track my distance, it’s a pretty minor complaint, at that. I did hit some personal bests this week. On October 16 (my long run day), I :

- burned 3840 calories
- took over 22,000 steps
- was active for nearly 2.5 hours

Coincidentally, that’s also the day I got the most sleep. Tee hee! I like having these notifications, because it motivates me to compete in what I think is the most healthy way possible: against myself.

More next week – don’t miss it!

My Post-Partum Weight Loss Journey by Liimu - Week 4

Well, we are in week 4 of this weight-loss journey and I am AMAZED at how the Universe is providing me with so much to support my success! First, I've decided to provide an update on how I'm tracking to target on a monthly basis. It's week 4, so it's time for an update!

Week 4 loss: 5 pounds

Post-partum pounds left to lose: 40 pounds (P-40 and counting...)

Second, big thanks to Robin Gorman-Newman for giving me this vehicle to say accountable at a very public level. It definitely has helped me to right my boat when it's tipped over during this process. I can say with conviction that I am now sailing along downstream toward my beautiful, pre-pregnancy body (or better). Not only has this blog been an essential part of my success, but Robin has also pointed me in the direction of wonderful products that I'm given the opportunity to review to see how they may help me along the way.

One product I am so incredibly excited to have been given the chance to review is the BodyMedia FIT armband. The FIT armband is a wearable armband that tracks calories, activity and sleep patterns, and it has an online activity manager that measures calories burned and calories consumed, sleep patterns, steps taken, it tracks all that to the overall goals set to keep me on track to my goal of being at goal at just about the same time Max celebrates his first birthday.

I LOVE IT! It is SO me. While the site wasn't entirely intuitive and the quick reference guide didn't give much help in how to use the Activity Manager online (it was more focused on how to get started), I did finally figure it out by using the online tutorial and now I am hooked! I have customized my activity goals to match how much I generally work out so I'm realistic about how much I need to eat, calorie-wise, and I sync up with the activity manager a few times a day to make sure I'm staying on track with my goals. It took a little while to get used to having an armband on all the time (and I felt like a bit of a dork at the gym because I had the armband on one arm and the iPhone on the other) but I slept in it last night and it didn't bother me, and for the most part I can forget I have it on now that I've gotten used to it. And, it's slim enough that you can't see it under my clothes, so now that we're in colder weather I'm pretty much the only one who will know I have it on.

What I plan to do is have a BodyMedia FIT update every week to let you know how I'm doing with staying on track with my BodyMedia FIT goals, and then we'll see how that aligns with the success I'm having on the scale. All in all, I am REALLY psyched to have the opportunity to try this out. I knew when I saw the Biggest Loser contestants wearing something similar that I would be hooked if I ever got the opportunity to try something like it, and dang if I wasn't right! If you want to learn more about it, or if you want to get your own, go to http://www.bodymedia.com/ or click here.

OK, the other thing I want to share with you guys is what a wonderful experience this has been for my family. I shared last week that my daughter said she wants fruit for her next birthday. This week, she said she wants to start to eat healthier on the weekend, and even admitted that she loves cucumbers and if I cut some up she'd eat them as an after-school snack. I made it a point to cut up cucumbers and put them in a baggie the very next day. She has yet to eat them, but I still feel like it's progress. Maybe I'll see if she wants some for her school snack today.

Well, that's all for now. Time to finish syncing the armband, wake the kids, run four miles and then get off to work. I look forward to giving you next week's update - hope to see you then!